I
The sense of curiosity is, as a rule, aroused in us only by the
unfamiliar and the unexpected. What custom and long usage has made
familiar we do not trouble to inquire into but accept without comment
or investigation; confusing the actual with the inevitable, and
deciding, slothfully enough, that the thing that is, is likewise the
thing that was and is to be. In nothing is this inert and slothful
attitude of mind more marked than in the common, unquestioning
acceptance of the illogical and unsatisfactory position occupied by
women. And it is the prevalence of that attitude of mind which is
the only justification for a book which purports to be nothing more
than the attempt of an unscientific woman to explain, honestly and
as far as her limitations permit, the why and wherefore of some of
the disadvantages under which she and her sisters exist—the reason
why their place in the world into which they were born is often so
desperately and unnecessarily uncomfortable.
I had better, at the outset, define the word “woman” as I understand
and use it, since it is apt to convey two distinct and differing
impressions, according to the sex of the hearer. My conception of woman
is inevitably the feminine conception; a thing so entirely unlike the
masculine conception of woman that it is eminently needful to define
the term and make my meaning clear; lest, when I speak of woman in
my own tongue, my reader, being male, translate the expression, with
confusion as the result.
By a woman, then, I understand an individual human being whose life
is her own concern; whose worth, in my eyes (worth being an entirely
personal matter) is in no way advanced or detracted from by the
accident of marriage; who does not rise in my estimation by reason of a
purely physical capacity for bearing children, or sink in my estimation
through a lack of that capacity. I am quite aware, of course, that her
life, in many cases, will have been moulded to a great extent by the
responsibilities of marriage and the care of children; just as I am
aware that the lives of most of the men with whom I am acquainted have
been moulded to a great extent by the trade or profession by which they
earn their bread. But my judgment of her and appreciation of her are
a personal judgment and appreciation, having nothing to do with her
actual or potential relations, sexual or maternal, with other people.
In short, I never think of her either as a wife or as a mother—I
separate the woman from her attributes. To me she is an entity in
herself; and if, on meeting her for the first time, I inquire whether
or no she is married, it is only because I wish to know whether I am to
address her as Mrs. or Miss.
That, frankly and as nearly as I can define it, is my attitude towards
my own sex; an attitude which, it is almost needless to say, I should
not insist upon if I did not believe that it was fairly typical and
that the majority of women, if they analyzed their feelings on the
subject, would find that they regarded each other in much the same way.
It is hardly necessary to point out that the mental attitude of the
average man towards woman is something quite different from this. It
is a mental attitude reminding one of that of the bewildered person
who could not see the wood for the trees. To him the accidental factor
in woman’s life is the all-important and his conception of her has
never got beyond her attributes—and certain only of these. As far
as I can make out, he looks upon her as something having a definite
and necessary physical relation to man; without that definite and
necessary relation she is, as the cant phrase goes “incomplete.” That
is to say, she is not woman at all—until man has made her so. Until
the moment when he takes her in hand she is merely the raw material of
womanhood—the undeveloped and unfinished article.
Without sharing in the smallest degree this estimate of her own
destiny, any fair-minded woman must admit its advantages from the point
of view of the male—must sympathize with the pleasurable sense of
importance, creative power, even of artistry, which such a conviction
must impart. To take the imperfect and undeveloped creature and, with
a kiss upon her lips and a ring upon her finger, to make of her a
woman, perfect and complete—surely a prerogative almost divine in its
magnificence, most admirable, most enviable!
It is this consciousness, expressed or unexpressed, (frequently the
former) of his own supreme importance in her destiny that colours every
thought and action of man towards woman. Having assumed that she is
incomplete without him, he draws the quite permissible conclusion that
she exists only for the purpose of attaining to completeness through
him—and that where she does not so attain to it, the unfortunate
creature is, for all practical purposes, non-existent. To him womanhood
is summed up in one of its attributes—wifehood, or its unlegalized
equivalent. Language bears the stamp of the idea that woman is a wife,
actually, or in embryo. To most men—perhaps to all—the girl is some
man’s wife that is to be; the married woman some man’s wife that is;
the widow some man’s wife that was; the spinster some man’s wife that
should have been—a damaged article, unfit for use, unsuitable.
Therefore a negligible quantity.
I have convinced myself, by personal observation and inquiry, that
my description of the male attitude in this respect is in no way
exaggerated. It has, for instance, fallen to my lot, over and over
again, to discuss with men—most of them distinctly above the average
in intelligence—questions affecting the welfare and conditions of
women. And over and over again, after listening to their views for five
minutes or so, I have broken in upon them and pulled them up with the
remark that they were narrowing down the subject under discussion—that
what they were considering was not the claim of women in general, but
the claim of a particular class—the class of wives and mothers. I may
add that the remark has invariably been received with an expression of
extreme astonishment. And is it not on record that Henley once dashed
across a manuscript the terse pronouncement, “I take no interest in
childless women”? Comprehensive; and indicating a confusion in the
author’s mind between the terms woman and breeding-machine. Did it
occur to him, I wonder, that the poor objects of his scorn might
venture to take some interest in themselves? Probably he did not credit
them with so much presumption.
The above has, I hope, explained in how far my idea of woman differs
from male ideas on the same subject and has also made it clear that I
do not look upon women as persons whose destiny it is to be married.
On the contrary, I hold, and hold very strongly, that the narrowing
down of woman’s hopes and ambitions to the sole pursuit and sphere of
marriage is one of the principal causes of the various disabilities,
economic and otherwise, under which she labours to-day. And I hold,
also, that this concentration of all her hopes and ambitions on the
one object was, to a great extent, the result of artificial pressure,
of unsound economic and social conditions—conditions which forced her
energy into one channel, by the simple expedient of depriving it of
every other outlet, and made marriage practically compulsory.
To say the least of it, marriage is no more essentially necessary to
woman than to man—one would imagine that it was rather the other way
about. There are a good many drawbacks attached to the fulfilment of
a woman’s destiny; in an unfettered state of existence it is possible
that they might weigh more heavily with her than they can do at
present—being balanced, and more than balanced, by artificial means.
I am inclined to think that they would. The institution of marriage by
capture, for instance, has puzzled many inquirers into the habits of
primitive man. It is often, I believe, regarded as symbolic; but why
should it not point to a real reluctance to be reduced to permanent
servitude on the part of primitive woman—a reluctance comprehensible
enough, since, primitive woman’s wants being few and easily supplied by
herself, there was no need for her to exchange possession of her person
for the means of existence?
It is Nietzsche, if I remember rightly, who has delivered himself of
the momentous opinion that everything in woman is a riddle, and that
the answer to the riddle is child-bearing. Child-bearing certainly
explains some qualities in woman—for instance, her comparative
fastidiousness in sexual relations—but not all. If it did, there
would be no riddle—yet Nietzsche admits that one exists. Nor is
he alone in his estimate of the “mysterious” nature of woman; her
unfathomable and erratic character, her peculiar aptitude for appearing
“uncertain, coy, and hard to please,” has been insisted upon time after
time—insisted upon alike as a charm and a deficiency. A charm because
of its unexpected, a deficiency because of its unreasonable, quality.
Woman, in short, is not only a wife and mother, but a thoroughly
incomprehensible wife and mother.
Now it seems to me that a very simple explanation of this mystery which
perpetually envelops our conduct and impulses can be found in the fact
that the fundamental natural laws which govern them have never been
ascertained or honestly sought for. Or rather—since the fundamental
natural laws which govern us are the same large and simple laws which
govern other animals, man included—though they have been ascertained,
the masculine intellect has steadfastly and stubbornly refused to admit
that they can possibly apply to us in the same degree as to every other
living being. As a substitute for these laws, he suggests explanations
of his own—for the most part flattering to himself. He believes,
apparently, that we live in a world apart, governed by curious customs
and regulations of our own—customs and regulations which “have no
fellow in the universe.” Once the first principle of natural law was
recognized as applying to us, we should cease to be so unfathomable,
erratic, and unexpected to the wiseacres and poets who spend their
time in judging us by rule of thumb, and expressing amazement at the
unaccountable and contradictory results.
I do not know whether it is essentially impossible for man to
approach us in the scientific spirit, but it has not yet been done.
(To approach motherhood or marriage in the scientific spirit is, of
course, not in the least the same thing.) His attitude towards us
has been by turns—and sometimes all at once—adoring, contemptuous,
sentimental, and savage—anything, in short, but open-minded and
deductive. The result being that different classes, generations, and
peoples have worked out their separate and impressionistic estimates
of woman’s meaning in the scheme of things—the said estimates
frequently clashing with those of other classes, generations, and
people. The Mahometan, for instance, after careful observation from
his point of view, decided that she was flesh without a soul, and to
be treated accordingly; the troubadour seems to have found in her a
spiritual incentive to aspiration in deed and song. The early Fathers
of the Church, who were in the habit of giving troubled and nervous
consideration to the subject, denounced her, at spasmodic intervals,
as sin personified. What the modern man understands by woman I have
already explained; and he further expects his theory to materialize and
embody itself in a being who combines the divergent qualities of an
inspiration and a good general servant. He is often disappointed.
All these are rule of thumb definitions, based on insufficient
knowledge and inquiry, which, each in its turn, has been accepted,
acted upon, and found wanting. Each of the generations and classes
mentioned—and many more beside—has worked out its own theory of
woman’s orbit (round man); and has subsequently found itself in the
position of the painstaking astronomer who, after having mapped the
pathway of a newly-discovered heavenly body to his own satisfaction,
suddenly finds his calculations upset, and the heavenly body swerving
off through space towards some hitherto unexpected centre of
attraction. The theory of the early Fathers was upset before it was
enunciated—for sin personified had wept at the foot of the Cross, and
men adored her for it. The modern angel with the cookery-book under
her wing has expressed an open and pronounced dislike to domestic
service, and cheerfully discards her wings to fight her way into the
liberal professions. And those who hold fast to the Nietzschean theory
that motherhood is the secret and justification of woman’s existence,
must be somewhat bewildered by latter-day episcopal lamentations
over the unwillingness of woman to undergo the pains and penalties
of childbirth, and by the reported intention of an American State
Legislature to stimulate a declining birth-rate by the payment of
one dollar for each child born. One feels that the strength of an
instinct that has, in an appreciable number of cases, to be stimulated
by the offer of four shillings and twopence must have been somewhat
overestimated. No wonder woman is a mystery in her unreliability; she
has broken every law of her existence, and does so day by day.
As a matter of fact, the various explanations which have been given
for woman’s existence can be narrowed down to two—her husband and her
child. Male humanity has wobbled between two convictions—the one,
that she exists for the entire benefit of contemporary mankind; the
other, that she exists for the entire benefit of the next generation.
The latter is at present the favourite. One consideration only male
humanity has firmly refused to entertain—that she exists in any degree
whatsoever for the benefit of herself. In consequence, woman is the
one animal from whom he demands that it shall deviate from, and act in
defiance of, the first law of nature—self-preservation.
It seems baldly ridiculous, of course, to state in so many words that
that first and iron law applies to women as well as to men, birds, and
beetles. No one in cold blood or cold ink would contradict the obvious
statement; but all the same, I maintain that I am perfectly justified
in asserting that the average man does mentally and unconsciously
except the mass of women from the workings of that universal law.
To give a simple and familiar instance. Year by year there crops up in
the daily newspapers a grumbling and sometimes acrid correspondence
on the subject of the incursion of women into a paid labour market
formerly monopolized by their brothers. (The unpaid labour market, of
course, has always been open to them.) The tone taken by the objector
is instructive and always the same. It is pointed out to us that we are
working for less than a fair wage; that we are taking the bread out
of the mouths of men; that we are filching the earnings of a possible
husband and thereby lessening, or totally destroying, our chances of
matrimony.
The first objection is, of course, legitimate, and is shared by the
women to whom it applies; from the others one can only infer that it is
an impertinence in a woman to be hungry, and that, in the opinion of a
large number of persons who write to the newspapers, the human female
is a creature capable of living on air and the hopes of a possible
husband. The principle that it is impolite to mention a certain organ
of the body which requires to be replenished two or three times a
day is, in the case of a woman, carried so far that it is considered
impolite of her even to possess that organ; and as a substitute for the
wages wherewith she buys food to fill it, she is offered the lifting
of a hat and the resignation of a seat in a tramcar. She rejects the
offer, obeys the first law of nature, and is rebuked for it—the human
male, bred in the conviction that she lives for him alone, standing
aghast. Some day he will discover that woman does not support life only
in order to obtain a husband, but frequently obtains a husband only in
order to support life.
The above is, to my mind, a clear and familiar instance of the manner
in which man is accustomed to take for granted our exemption from a
law from which there is no exemption. It matters not whether or no
he believes, in so many words, that we need not eat in order that we
may not die; the point is, that he acts as if he believed it. (The
extreme reluctance of local authorities to spend any of the money at
their disposal on unemployed women is a case in point. It would be
ridiculous to ascribe it to animosity towards the women themselves—it
must arise, therefore, from a conviction that the need of the foodless
woman is not so pressing as the need of the foodless man.) And it is
because I have so often come in contact with the state of mind that
makes such delusions possible, that I have thought it necessary to
insist on the fact that self-preservation is the first law of our
being. The purpose of race-preservation, which is commonly supposed
to be the excuse for our existence, is, and must be, secondary and
derivative; it is quite impossible for a woman to bring children into
the world unless she has first obtained the means of supporting her own
life. How to eat, how to maintain existence, is the problem that has
confronted woman, as well as man, since the ages dawned for her. Other
needs and desires may come later; but the first call of life is for the
means of supporting it.
To support life it is necessary to have access to the fruits of the
earth, either directly—as in the case of the agriculturist—or
indirectly, and through a process of exchange as the price of work
done in other directions. And in this process of exchange woman,
as compared with her male fellow-worker, has always been at a
disadvantage. The latter, even where direct access to the earth was
denied to him, has usually been granted some measure of choice as to
the manner in which he would pay for the necessities the earth produced
for him—that is to say, he was permitted to select the trade by which
he earned his livelihood. From woman, who has always been far more
completely excluded from direct access to the necessities of life, who
has often been barred, both by law and by custom, from the possession
of property, one form of payment was demanded, and one only. It was
demanded of her that she should enkindle and satisfy the desire of the
male, who would thereupon admit her to such share of the property he
possessed or earned as should seem good to him. In other words, she
exchanged, by the ordinary process of barter, possession of her person
for the means of existence.
Whether such a state of things is natural or unnatural I do not pretend
to say; but it is, I understand, peculiar to women, having no exact
counterpart amongst the females of other species. Its existence, at
any rate, justifies us in regarding marriage as essentially (from the
woman’s point of view) a commercial or trade undertaking. By marriage
she earned her bread; and as the instinct of self-preservation drove
man forth to hunt, to till the soil, to dig beneath it—to cultivate
his muscles and his brain so that he might get the better of nature and
his rivals—so brute necessity and the instinct of self-preservation
in woman urged and enjoined on her the cultivation of those narrow and
particular qualities of mind and body whereby desire might be excited
and her wage obtained.