One of the things most frequently asked for and yet one seldom made use
of, is advice. Ninety-nine times out of a hundred the man who comes to
you for advice as a matter of fact really wants to have his own opinion
confirmed.
Do not go around with a pocket full of advice offering it to everyone.
If you advise a man to change his habits or manner of life he will
resent your proffered aid. The best way to give advice is to take
another fellow for example and hit your friend through the illustration
of the other fellow. Let him discover the point himself rather than let
it appear that you are telling him the thing.
The matter of advice is a very hard thing to properly understand. You
advise another to do a certain thing, forgetting in the meanwhile, that
if you were in his position your view-point would be his and not your
own. You play your strong qualities against his weak ones.
It is easy enough for you to advise a drunkard not to drink, but
difficult for you to understand his view point on the subject if you
are not a drinking man yourself.
Giving advice usually comes about because we see a weakness in others.
The opposite of this weakness is a feature in our own make-up.
The business man who is constantly asking advice is advertising the
fact of his uncertainty of his own actions. Your great problems must be
decided by yourself.
The one thing that separates the sheep from the goats, and success from
failure, is the ability to analyze, study and weigh problems for
yourself, and to make decisions for yourself.
The law of compensation comes in here again, for in proportion as you
have self-reliance and good judgment your success will be measured.
You may rely upon it that if you go about seeking advice, you will get
two kinds of advice--First: the advice that concurs with your own
preference or decision; and, second, the kind that is in opposition to
your views. You accept the first kind because it tickles your vanity,
and you throw aside the second, saying the advice is prejudiced.
Don't ask advice. Size up and weigh the problem yourself and use your
own best judgment.