MY DEAR FRIEND: You have set out well at The Hague; you are in love with
Madame Munter, which I am very glad of: you are in the fine company
there, and I hope one of it: for it is not enough, at your age, to be
merely in good company; but you should, by your address and attentions,
make that good company think you one of them. There is a tribute due to
beauty, even independently of further views; which tribute I hope you
paid with alacrity to Madame Munter and Madame Degenfeldt: depend upon
it, they expected it, and were offended in proportion as that tribute
seemed either unwillingly or scantily paid. I believe my friend
Kreuningen admits nobody now to his table, for fear of their
communicating the plague to him, or at least the bite of a mad dog. Pray
profit of the entrees libres that the French Ambassador has given you;
frequent him, and SPEAK to him. I think you will not do amiss to call
upon Mr. Burrish, at Aix-la-Chapelle, since it is so little out of your
way; and you will do still better, if you would, which I know you will
not, drink those waters for five or six days only, to scour your stomach
and bowels a little; I am sure it would do you a great deal of good Mr.
Burrish can, doubtless, give you the best letters to Munich; and he will
naturally give you some to Comte Preysing, or Comte Sinsheim, and such
sort of grave people; but I could wish that you would ask him for some to
young fellows of pleasure, or fashionable coquettes, that, you may be
‘dans l’honnete debauche de Munich’. A propos of your future motions; I
leave you in a great measure the master of them, so shall only suggest my
thoughts to you upon that subject.
You have three electoral courts in view, Bonn, Munich, and Manheim. I
would advise you to see two of them rather cursorily, and fix your
tabernacle at the third, whichever that may be, for a considerable time.
For instance, should you choose (as I fancy you will), to make Manheim
the place of your residence, stay only ten or twelve days at Bonn, and as
long at Munich, and then go and fix at Manheim; and so, vice versa, if
you should like Bonn or Munich better than you think you would Manheim,
make that the place of your residence, and only visit the other two. It
is certain that no man can be much pleased himself, or please others
much, in any place where he is only a bird of passage for eight or ten
days; neither party thinking it worth while to make an acquaintance,
still less to form any connection, for so short a time; but when months
are the case, a man may domesticate himself pretty well, and very soon
not be looked upon as a stranger. This is the real utility of traveling,
when, by contracting a familiarity at any place, you get into the inside
of it, and see it in its undress. That is the only way of knowing the
customs, the manners, and all the little characteristical peculiarities
that distinguish one place from another; but then this familiarity is not
to be brought about by cold, formal visits of half an hour: no; you must
show a willingness, a desire, an impatience of forming connections, ‘il
faut s’y preter, et y mettre du liant, du desir de plaire. Whatever you
do approve, you must be lavish in your praises of; and you must learn to
commend what you do not approve of, if it is approved of there. You are
not much given to praise, I know; but it is because you do not yet know
how extremely people are engaged by a seeming sanction to their own
opinions, prejudices, and weaknesses, even in the merest trifles. Our
self-love is mortified when we think our opinions, and even our tastes,
customs, and dresses, either arraigned or condemned; as on the contrary,
it is tickled and flattered by approbation. I will give you a remarkable
instance of this kind. The famous Earl of Shaftesbury, in the flagitious
reign of Charles the Second, while he was Chancellor, had a mind to be a
favorite, as well as a minister of the King; in order, therefore, to
please his Majesty, whose prevailing passion was women, my Lord kept a
w----e, whom he had no occasion for, and made no manner of use of. The
King soon heard of it, and asked him if it was true; he owned it was; but
that, though he kept that one woman, he had several others besides, for
he loved variety. A few days afterward, the King, at his public levee,
saw Lord Shaftesbury at some distance, and said in the circle, “One would
not think that that little, weak man is the greatest whore-master in
England; but I can assure you that he is.” Upon Lord Shaftesbury’s coming
into the circle, there was a general smile; the King said, “This is
concerning you, my Lord.”--“Me, sir?” answered the Chancellor, with some
surprise. “Yes, you,” answered the King; “for I had just said that you
were the greatest whore-master in England! Is it not true?”--“Of a
SUBJECT, Sir,” replied Lord Shaftesbury, “perhaps I am.” It is the same
in everything; we think a difference of opinion, of conduct, of manners,
a tacit reproach, at least, upon our own; we must therefore use ourselves
to a ready conformity to whatever is neither criminal nor dishonorable.
Whoever differs from any general custom, is supposed both to think, and
proclaim himself wiser than the rest of the world: which the rest of the
world cannot bear, especially in a young man. A young fellow is always
forgiven and often applauded, when he carries a fashion to an excess; but
never if he stops short of it. The first is ascribed to youth and fire;
but the latter is imputed to an affectation of singularity or
superiority. At your age, one is allowed to ‘outrer’ fashion, dress,
vivacity, gallantry, etc., but by no means to be behindhand in any one of
them. And one may apply to youth in this case, ‘Si non errasset, fecerat
ille minus’. Adieu.