MY DEAR FRIEND: What success with the graces, and in the accomplishments,
elegancies, and all those little nothings so indispensably necessary to
constitute an amiable man? Do you take them, do you make a progress in
them? The great secret is the art of pleasing; and that art is to be
attained by every man who has a good fund of common sense. If you are
pleased with any person, examine why; do as he does; and you will charm
others by the same things which please you in him. To be liked by women,
you must be esteemed by men; and to please men, you must be agreeable to
women. Vanity is unquestionably the ruling passion in women; and it is
much flattered by the attentions of a man who is generally esteemed by
men; when his merit has received the stamp of their approbation, women
make it current, that is to say, put him in fashion. On the other hand,
if a man has not received the last polish from women, he may be estimable
among men, but will never be amiable. The concurrence of the two sexes is
as necessary to the perfection of our being, as to the formation of it.
Go among women with the good qualities of your sex, and you will acquire
from them the softness and the graces of theirs. Men will then add
affection to the esteem which they before had for you. Women are the only
refiners of the merit of men; it is true, they cannot add weight, but
they polish and give lustre to it. ‘A propos’, I am assured, that Madame
de Blot, although she has no great regularity of features, is,
notwithstanding, excessively pretty; and that, for all that, she has as
yet been scrupulously constant to her husband, though she has now been
married above a year. Surely she does not reflect, that woman wants
polishing. I would have you polish one another reciprocally. Force,
assiduities, attentions, tender looks, and passionate declarations, on
your side will produce some irresolute wishes, at least, on hers; and
when even the slightest wishes arise, the rest will soon follow.
As I take you to be the greatest ‘juris peritus’ and politician of the
whole Germanic body, I suppose you will have read the King of Prussia’s
letter to the Elector of Mayence, upon the election of a King of the
Romans; and on the other side, a memorial entitled, IMPARTIAL
REPRESENTATION OF WHAT IS JUST WITH REGARD TO THE ELECTION OF A KING OF
THE ROMANS, etc. The first is extremely well written, but not grounded
upon the laws and customs of the empire. The second is very ill written
(at least in French), but well grounded. I fancy the author is some
German, who has taken into his head that he understands French. I am,
however, persuaded that the elegance and delicacy of the King of
Prussia’s letter will prevail with two-thirds of the public, in spite of
the solidity and truth contained in the other piece. Such is the force of
an elegant and delicate style!
I wish you would be so good as to give me a more particular and
circumstantial account of the method of passing your time at Paris. For
instance, where it is that you dine every Friday, in company with that
amiable and respectable old man, Fontenelle? Which is the house where you
think yourself at home? For one always has such a one, where one is
better established, and more at ease than anywhere else. Who are the
young Frenchmen with whom you are most intimately connected? Do you
frequent the Dutch Ambassador’s. Have you penetrated yet into Count
Caunitz’s house? Has Monsieur de Pignatelli the honor of being one of
your humble servants? And has the Pope’s nuncio included you in the
jubilee? Tell me also freely how you are with Lord Huntingdon: Do you see
him often? Do you connect yourself with him? Answer all these questions
circumstantially in your first letter.
I am told that Du Clos’s book is not in vogue at Paris, and that it is
violently criticised: I suppose that is because one understands it; and
being intelligible is now no longer the fashion. I have a very great
respect for fashion, but a much greater for this book; which is, all at
once, true, solid, and bright. It contains even epigrams; what can one
wish for more?
Mr.------will, I suppose, have left Paris by this time for his residence
at Toulouse. I hope he will acquire manners there; I am sure he wants
them. He is awkward, he is silent, and has nothing agreeable in his
address,--most necessary qualifications to distinguish one’s self in
business, as well as in the POLITE WORLD! In truth, these two things are
so connected, that a man cannot make a figure in business, who is not
qualified to shine in the great world; and to succeed perfectly in either
the one or the other, one must be in ‘utrumque paratus’. May you be that,
my dear friend! and so we wish you a good night.
P. S. Lord and Lady Blessington, with their son Lord Mountjoy, will be at
Paris next week, in their way to the south of France; I send you a little
packet of books by them. Pray go wait upon them, as soon as you hear of
their arrival, and show them all the attentions you can.