EXPERIMENTS IN GRAVITATION.
As June disappeared in the beginning of July, the long vacation of the
Doveton schools began, and with it began Dr. Wittingham's special and
particular annual annoyance, which consisted of keeping Jack out of
mischief. To compel the boy to work all the while was something at
which the good doctor's heart naturally revolted, but it seemed that
when Jack was unoccupied even for half an hour an indignant complaint
by some one was absolutely sure to follow. The doctor was not the only
man who had charge of a boy of mischieveous tendencies, so there was
considerable private jubilation among parents when a lone foreigner
strayed into the town, announced himself as a Polish exile, and
offered to carry a class in French through the summer vacation. The
French language was not held in intelligent esteem by all Doveton
parents, but every one of them understood the value of peace of mind,
so within forty-eight hours the exile was guaranteed an eight weeks
class of twenty boys, at six dollars per boy, and was granted the
upper floor of one of the schoolhouses free of rent.
This arrangement for the consumption of the summer vacation did not
meet Jack's views at all, and he protested so strongly that the doctor
yielded, after exacting perfect behavior as the price of liberty. Jack
promised; he would have promised anything rather than have spent all
those delicious days indoors. There was altogether too much
out-of-doors that demanded his attention; the blackberry harvest in
which Jack earned most of his year's spending money, came in July; the
march of civilization was working destruction with hazel-nut patches,
so that prudent boys desired to know in advance where not to go in the
fall; it was the "off year" for black walnuts, so it was advisable to
ascertain where were the few trees which neglected to be in the
fashion; there were several young orchards which had bloomed for the
first time, and must be visited for sampling purposes, lest perchance
there might some very early varieties come into bearing and be
gathered before he had seen them, slippery elm bark was not entirely
past its prime, several new kinds of fish-bait were to be tested on
the perch which Jack was sure dwelt in jealous seclusion in certain
deep holes in the river, the country district was to be scoured for
new litters of puppies of desirable breed—in short Jack had so much
work laid out that the vacation promised to be a very busy one.
But by the time the French class had been in session a week, Jack
began to feel unutterably lonesome. Matt was in the class; so was lame
Joey Wilson, who was always a pleasant companion; the Pinkshaw twins,
who had no equal as tree-climbers, were also there, and so was big
Frank Parker, whose superior strength and wisdom were not to be
despised. Jack gave unwonted attention to the family garden so as to
be within sound of the mid-morning intermission, and when the
teacher's bell summoned the boys back to school again, Jack not
unfrequently sat upon the school wood-pile during the long hour which
ensued before the dismissal which brought him and the boys together
again. Then satan began to find mischief for Jack's idle hands, and
small pebbles not unfrequently flew into the open windows of the
school-room, occasioning pleasing diversions for the boys and
annoyance for the teacher. Every body knew who threw them, but when
questioned by the teacher they all, with general mental reservation,
professed utter ignorance. The exile-teacher was not of the best
temper, so he took his stand near a window, with the text-book in one
hand and half a brick in the other, but Jack, warned by friendly hands
hanging out of the windows of the side upon which the teacher stood,
operated from the other side and occasioned many spirited races
against time, the teacher's course being across the schoolroom, while
Jack's goal was the friendly shelter of the schoolhouse porch. But
even this diversion grew tiresome, and Jack, from pure loneliness,
finally came to sneaking up the stairway, sitting on the floor of the
hall, and listening by the hour to what to him seemed the idiotic
jabber of his late schoolmates.
Then listening itself grew tiresome; besides, the position was
uncomfortable, so one day Jack climbed up the little hatchway which
led to the cockpit and belfry, laid a board across several beams,
stretched himself upon it, and listened at ease, for there were sundry
cracks in the ceiling. Jack was not long in discovering that one of
these cracks, in its meanderings, passed directly over the teacher's
chair, and that sundry small fragments of plaster could be scratched
from its sides and dropped upon the exile's head.
This discovery aroused the inventive spirit which seems dormant in the
mind of every American, waiting only for appropriate occasion to call
it forth, Jack carefully marked that portion of the crack which
directly overhung the teacher's head. He remained where he was until
school was dismissed; then he cautiously picked at the side of the
crack, between two laths, until it was wide enough to admit a grain of
corn dropped edgewise; then he went below, dusted away the fallen
plaster with his hat, and went home through the unlocked door with a
feeling that the next morning was at least six weeks away.
But the next morning came, according to all correct timepieces, at the
proper hour, and the French class had got fairly under way upon some
of the exasperating paradigms of an irregular verb, when suddenly a
grain of corn fell upon the bald head of the exile. Fat Billy Barker,
who was abler at staring than studying, happened to see the falling
body, and as the startled teacher arose from his chair, Billy began to
laugh. The teacher immediately marked him as the offender, dashed at
him and gave him several hard blows with a switch, after which Billy
put his head down upon his desk, wept, and declined to make a
statement. But the teacher had hardly reseated himself when another
missile of the same sort had struck him; Billy's head and hands being
still down, the teacher exclaimed,
"Oh, Barkare, zen it was not you; I vill apologize, Barkare,—I have
mooch sorrow. Vatever boy it vas should be whipped by Barkare!"
Again the recitation began and another grain of corn fell, this time
in full view of the entire school. A general titter resulted, and this
so enraged the teacher that he strolled rapidly down the aisles,
displaying two rows of terribly white teeth, and shaking his ruler at
nearly every boy individually. This operation had a very sobering
effect, and even Jack was so appalled by the noise of the teacher's
footfalls that he remained quiet nearly an hour. Finally he dropped
two grains in quick succession, and the boys, who had been feverishly
awaiting something new, laughed aloud with one accord. The teacher
sprang to his feet, seized both ruler and switch, and roared.
"Now, who did it? Barkare, you vill tell me, an' let me avenge ze
vipping you did haf?"
Billy gulped down the truth and declared he did not know.
"Vilson," shouted the teacher, "you is ze good boy of ze school; you
will tell me, I know, Vilson?"
But Joey, looking as innocent as if he were saying his prayers, shook
his head negatively.
"Mistare Frank Parkare," continued the teacher, "you haf nearly ze
years of a man, and cannot enchoy to see ze destruction of discipline.
Who vas it that throw ze corn-grain."
And big Frank Parker unblushingly and solemnly said that he did not
know.
"Efferybody tell me," exclaimed the teacher, resuming his chair with
dignity, "or ze class will stay in ze room till it starve to death.
How like you zat, mes garçons, eh?"
The boys did not seem particularly to enjoy the prospect, and Jack
himself sobered somewhat at the thought of inflicting such a penalty
upon his friends. But just there he conceived a new idea, and emerging
quietly from his hiding place, he ran home, obtained a vial from his
father's office, filled it with water, and hurried back. He was
anxious to see as well as to hear the result of his impending
operation, so he removed his board, lay along one of the beams,
steadying himself by his left hand, and held the mouth of the vial
over the teacher's head. Lame Joey Wilson was just translating
fragmentarily, as follows:
"Avez-vous-le-chien-rouge-du-charpentier-avec—"
What the carpenter-owner of the dog really had, remained unexplained
during the remainder of the session. Jack had intended to let but a
single drop of water fall, and he could generally trust his hand at
such work, for his father sometimes allowed him to assist in
compounding prescriptions. But on this particular occasion
anticipation proved too much for reality, for Jack laughed to himself
so violently over the fun about to ensue that his hand shook, a stream
of water poured through the hole, and trickled all over the teacher's
chair. And, worse still, Jack discovered that a two-inch beam is not a
safe place of repose for the human frame in moments of profound
agitation, for he lost his balance, tried to save it with one elbow
and one foot, which between them dislodged great masses of plaster
from the laths and dropped it upon the teacher's desk.
Illustration: EXPERIMENT IN GRAVITATION.
Even then the truth might not have been suspected, had not Jack,
frightened at the mischief he had caused, lost all self-control and
tumbled off the beam and upon the laths. Crack! Crack! went several
laths, a violent commotion was heard upon the remainder, and, as the
school started to its feet and the teacher dropped back in terror, a
boy's foot and a section of trowser-leg appeared for an instant
through a hole in the ceiling, only to be instantly withdrawn.
"Ah!" snarled the exile, seizing his half brick and ruler, and
starting for the hall, "I haf ze villain!" The entire class followed,
in time to hear a rustling sound and to see the teacher's half brick
go up the hatchway, through which the bell rope was being rapidly
drawn.
The teacher danced frantically about and shouted,
"Somebody go for the police—ze constable, what you call him! I would
gif five dollare if I had my pistol viz me here. Somebody bring one
little laddare—zen I go up ze hole an' drag down ze diable. I show you
vat I do, you bring me ze laddare!"
Nobody stirred; every one preferred to remain as spectator. Suddenly
the teacher's half brick descended, followed by a nail keg, a dusty
roll of discarded maps, and a piece of board.
"It is one _attaque de force_!" exclaimed the teacher, retiring
precipitately upon the feet of lame Joey Wilson, who had squeezed well
to the front. "Ze rascal shall go to ze prison. Will nobody go for ze
constable? Zen I will give ze alarm from out ze window."
The exile put his head out the window, just in time to see Jack, who
had thrown the bell rope over the front of the building, sliding down
the same, and making dreadful faces because of the pain which friction
occasioned in his hands and legs. With a fiendish yell the teacher
threw the ruler, which missed Jack. Just as the young man felt that
the rope was no longer between his knees yet the ground not invitingly
near, the teacher reappeared with an inkstand which he threw with such
excellent aim that it struck Jack in the side. The boy immediately
loosened his hold and dropped about fifteen feet, striking upon his
side. In an instant he was upon his feet and hurrying homeward without
as much hilarity as might have been expected, for in falling he had
broken his left arm.
------------------------------------------------------------------------