And 'twas nox most opportuna
To catch a possum or a coona;
For nix was scattered o'er this mundus,
A shallow nix, et non profundus.
On sic a nox with canis unus,
Two boys went out to hunt for coonus.
Unis canis, duo puer,
Nunquam braver, nunquam truer,
Quam hoc trio unquam fuit,
If there was I never knew it.
The corpus of this bonus canis,
Was full as long as octo span is,
But brevior legs had canis never
Quam had hic dog; et bonus clever
Some used to say, in stultum jocum,
Quod a field was too small locum
For sic a dog to make a turnus
Circum self from stem to sternus.
This bonus dog had one bad habit,
Amabat much to tree a rabbit--
Amabat plus to chase a rattus,
Amabat bene tree a cattus.
But on this nixy moonlight night,
This old canis did just right.
Nunquam treed a starving rattus,
Nunquam chased a starving cattus,
But cucurrit on, intentus
On the track and on the scentus,
Till he treed a possum strongum,
In a hollow trunkum longum;
Loud he barked, in horrid bellum,
Seemed on terra venit pellum;
Quickly ran the duo puer,
Mors of possum to secure;
Quum venerit, one began
To chop away like quisque man;
Soon the axe went through the truncum,
Soon he hit it all kerchunkum;
Combat deepens; on ye braves!
Canis, pueri et staves;
As his powers non longuis tarry,
Possum potest non pugnare,
On the nix his corpus lieth,
Down to Hades spirit flieth,
Joyful pueri, canis bonus,
Think him dead as any stonus.
Now they seek their pater's domo,
Feeling proud as any homo,
Knowing, certe, they will blossom
Into heroes, when with possum
They arrive, narrabunt story,
Plenus blood et plenior glory.
Pompey, David, Samson, Cæsar,
Cyrus, Blackhawk, Shalmaneser!
Tell me where est now the gloria,
Where the honours of Victoria?
Quum ad domum narrent story,
Plenus sanguine, tragic, gory.
Pater praiseth, likewise mater,
Wonders greatly younger frater.
Possum leave they on the mundus,
Go themselves to sleep profundus,
Somniunt possums slain in battle,
Strong as ursæ, large as cattle.
When nox gives way to lux of morning--
Albam terram much adorning,--
Up they jump to see the varmen,
Of the which this is the carmen.
Lo! possum est resurrectum!
Ecce pueri dejectum.
Ne relinquit track behind him,
Et the pueri never find him.
Cruel possum! bestia vilest,
How the pueros thou beguilest;
Pueri think non plus of Cæsar,
Go ad Orcum, Shalmaneser,
Take your laurels, cum the honour,
Since ista possum is a goner!"
The following "Society Verses" of Mortimer Collins are given here by way
of introducing an imitation of them in macaronic verse:
AD CHLOEN, M.A.
(FRESH FROM HER CAMBRIDGE EXAMINATION.)
"Lady, very fair are you,
And your eyes are very blue,
And your nose;
And your brow is like the snow;
And the various things you know
Goodness knows.
And the rose-flush on your cheek,
And your Algebra and Greek
Perfect are;
And that loving lustrous eye
Recognises in the sky
Every star.
You have pouting, piquant lips,
You can doubtless an eclipse
Calculate;
But for your cerulean hue,
I had certainly from you
Met my fate.
If by an arrangement dual
I were Adams mixed with Whewell,
The same day
I, as wooer, perhaps may come
To so sweet an Artium
Magistra."
TO THE FAIR "COME-OUTER."
"Lady! formosissima tu!
Cæruleis oculis have you,
Ditto nose!
Et vous n'avez pas une faute--
And that you are going to vote,
Goodness knows!
And the roseus on your cheek,
And your Algebra and Greek,
Are parfait!
And your jactus oculi
Knows each star that shines in the
Milky Way!
You have pouting, piquant lips,
Sans doute vous pouvez an eclipse
Calculate!
Ne cærulum colorantur,
I should have in you, instanter,
Met my fate!
Si, by some arrangement dual,
I at once were Kant and Whewell;
It would pay--
Procus noti then to come
To so sweet an Artium
Magistra!
Or, Jewel of Consistency,
Si possem clear-starch, cookere,
Votre learning
Might the leges proscribere--
Do the pro patria mori,
I, the churning!"
Here are a few juvenile specimens, the first being a little-known old
nursery ballad:
THE FOUR BROTHERS.
"I had four brothers over the sea,
Perrimerri dictum, Domine:
And each one sent a present to me;
Partum quartum, peredecentum,
Perrimerri dictum, Domine.
The first sent a cherry without any stone;
Perrimerri dictum, Domine:
The second a chicken without any bone,
Partum quartum, peredecentum,
Perrimerri dictum, Domine.
The third sent a blanket without any thread;
Perrimerri dictum, Domine:
The fourth sent a book that no man could read;
Partum quartum, peredecentum,
Perrimerri dictum, Domine.
When the cherry's in the blossom, it has no stone;
Perrimerri dictum, Domine:
When the chicken's in the egg, it has no bone;
Partum quartum, peredecentum,
Perrimerri dictum, Domine.
When the blanket's in the fleece, it has no thread;
Perrimerri dictum, Domine:
When the book's in the press, no man can it read;
Partum quartum, peredecentum,
Perrimerri dictum, Domine."
LITTLE BO-PEEP.
"Parvula Bo-peep
Amisit her sheep,
Et nescit where to find 'em;
Desere alone,
Et venient home,
Cum omnibus caudis behind 'em."
JACK AND JILL.
"Jack cum amico Jill,
Ascendit super montem;
Johannes cecedit down the hill,
Ex forte fregit frontem."
THE TEETOTUM.
"Fresh from his books, an arch but studious boy,
Twirl'd with resilient glee his mobile toy;
And while on single pivot foot it set,
Whisk'd round the board in whirring pirouette,
Shriek'd, as its figures flew too fast to note 'em,
_Te totum amo, amo te, Teetotum_."
Schoolboys and college youths not unfrequently adorn their books with some
such macaronic as this:
"Si quisquis furetur,
This little libellum,
Per Bacchum, per Jovem,
I'll kill him, I'll fell him;
In venturum illius
I'll stick my scalpellum,
And teach him to steal
My little libellum."
Inscriptions and epitaphs are often the vehicles of quaint and curious
diction, and of these we give some instances:
THE SIGN OF THE "GENTLE SHEPHERD OF SALISBURY PLAIN."
(_On the road from Cape Town to Simon's Bay, Cape of Good Hope._)
"Multum in parvo, pro bono publico;
Entertainment for man or beast all of a row.
Lekker host as much as you please;
Excellent beds without any fleas;
Nos patrum fugimus--now we are here,
Vivamus, let us live by selling beer
On donne à boire et á manger ici;
Come in and try it, whoever you be."
IN THE VISITORS' BOOK AT NIAGARA FALLS.
"Tres fratres stolidii,
Took a boat at Niagri;
Stormus arose et windus erat,
Magnum frothum surgebat,
Et boatum overturnebat,
Et omnes drowndiderunt
Quia swimmere non potuerunt!"
IN THE VISITORS' BOOK OF MOUNT KEARSARGE HOUSE.
(_Summit of Mount Kearsarge, North Conway, N.H._)
"Sic itur ad astra, together;
But much as we aspire,
No purse of gold, this summer weather,
Could hire us to go higher!"
The following epitaph is to be found in Northallerton Churchyard:
"Hic jacet Walter Gun,
Sometime landlord of the _Sun_,
Sic transit gloria mundi!
He drank hard upon Friday,
That being an high day,
Took his bed and died upon Sunday!"
There are no macaronic authors nowadays, though poems of this class are
still to be had in colleges and universities; but everything pertaining to
college life is ephemeral, coming in with Freshman and going out with
Senior. College students are the prolific fathers of a kind of punning
Latin composition, such as:
"O _unum_ sculls. You _damnum_ sculls. _Sic transit_ drove a _tu pone
tandem temo ver_ from the north."
"He is visiting his _ante_, Mrs. _Dido Etdux_, and intends stopping
here till _ortum_."
"He _et super_ with us last evening, and is a terrible fellow. He
_lambda_ man almost to death the other evening, but he got his
match--the other man _cutis nos_ off for him and _noctem_ flat _urna_
flounder."
"Doctores! Ducum nex mundi nitu Panes; tritucum at ait. Expecto meta
fumen, and eta beta pi. Super attente one--Dux, hamor clam pati; sum
parates, homine, ices, jam, etc. Sideror hoc."
In a similar dialect to this, Dean Swift and Dr. Sheridan used to
correspond. In this way:
"Is his honor sic? Præ letus felis pulse."
The Dean once wrote to the Doctor:
"Mollis abuti, No lasso finis,
Has an acuti, Molli divinis."
To which the Doctor responded:
"I ritu a verse o na Molli o mi ne,
Asta lassa me pole, a lædis o fine;
I ne ver neu a niso ne at in mi ni is,
A manat a glans ora sito fer diis.
De armo lis abuti, hos face an hos nos is
As fer a sal illi, as reddas aro sis,
Ac is o mi Molli is almi de lite,
Illo verbi de, an illo verbi nite."
At this the Dean settles the whole affair by--
"Apud in is almi de si re,
Mimis tres I ne ver re qui re;
Alo' ver I findit a gestis,
His miseri ne ver at restis."
Sydney Smith proposed as a motto for a well-known fish-sauce purveyor the
following line from Virgil (_Æn._ iv. I):
"_Gravi jam_dudum _saucia_ curâ."
When two students named Payne and Culpepper were expelled from college, a
classmate wrote:
"_Poen_ia perire potest; _Culpa per_ennis est."
And Dr. Johnson wrote the following epitaph on his cat:
"_Mi-cat_ inter omnes."
A gentleman at dinner helped his friend to a potato, saying--"I think
that is a good mealy one." "Thank you," was the reply, "it could not
be _melior_."
Another gentleman while driving one day was asked by a lady if some
fowls they passed were ducks or geese. One of the latter at the moment
lifting up its voice, the gentleman said, "That's your _anser_!"
"Well, Tom, are you sick again?" asked a student of his friend, and
was answered in English and in Latin, "_Sic sum_."
Victor Hugo was once asked if he could write English poetry.
"Certainement," was the reply, and he sat down and wrote this verse:
"Pour chasser le spleen
J'entrai dans un inn;
O, mais je bus le gin,
God save the queen!"
In the "Innocents Abroad" of Mark Twain he gives a letter written by his
friend Mr. Blucher to a Parisian hotel-keeper, which was as follows:
"'MONSIEUR LE LANDLORD: Sir--_Pourquoi_ don't you _mettez_ some
_savon_ in your bed-chambers? _Est-ce-que-vous pensez_ I will steal
it? _Le nuit passeé_ you charged me _pour deux chandelles_ when I only
had one; _hier vous avez_ charged me _avec glace_ when I had none at
all; _tout les jours_ you are coming some fresh game or other upon me,
_mais vous ne pouvez pas_ play this _savon_ dodge on me twice. _Savon_
is a necessary _de la vie_ to anybody but a Frenchman, _et je l'aurai
hors de cette hotel_ or make trouble. You hear me.--_Allons._
BLUCHER.'"
"I remonstrated," says Mr. Twain, "against the sending of this note,
because it was so mixed up that the landlord would never be able to make
head or tail of it; but Blucher said he guessed the old man could read the
French of it, and average the rest."
Productions like the preceding, and like that with which we conclude are
continually finding their way into print, and are always readable,
curious, and fresh for an idle hour.
POCAHONTAS AND CAPTAIN SMITH.
(JAMESTOWN, A.D. 1607.)
"Johannes Smithus, walking up a streetus, met two ingentes Ingins et
parvulus Ingin. Ingins non capti sunt ab Johanne, sed Johannes captus
est ab ingentibus Inginibus. Parvulus Ingin run off hollerin, et
terrifficatus est most to death. Big Ingin removit Johannem ad
tentem, ad campum, ad marshy placem, papoosem, pipe of peacem,
bogibus, squawque. Quum Johannes examinatus est ab Inginibus, they
condemnati sunt eum to be cracked on capitem ab clubbibus. Et a big
Ingin was going to strikaturus esse Smithum with a clubbe, quum
Pocahontas came trembling down, et hollerin, 'Don't ye duit, don't ye
duit!' Sic Johannes non periit, sed grew fat on corn bread et hominy."
_LINGUISTIC VERSE._
One of the most curious efforts in the way of teaching a language was that
attempted by a work published originally in Paris, in 1862, entitled "O
Novo Guia em Portuguez e Inglez. Par Jose de Fonseca e Pedro Carolina," or
the New Guide to Conversation in Portuguese and English. Mr. G. C. Leland
writes us that Fonseca "manufactured" this work by procuring a book of
French dialogues, which he put word by word into English--(by the aid of
a dictionary)--"of which he knew not a word, and what is strangest, did
not learn a word, even while writing his _Guide_. That he really humbugged
his bookseller appears from this that he induced the poor victim to
publish a large English dictionary!" This book has been reprinted, as a
literary curiosity, and may be had at Quaritch's, 15 Piccadilly, London,
under the title of "A New Guide to the English," by Pedro Carolina;
Fonseca having taken his name out, and dating the book from
"Pekin,"--this being a mere joke. However, the original was a serious
work, and by way of introduction to a poem in the Fonseca English, kindly
given us by Professor E. H. Palmer, we give a few particulars of and
extracts from the work itself, and here is the Preface:
"A choice of familiar dialogues, clean of gallicisms and despoiled
phrases, it was missing yet to studious portuguese and brazilian
Youth; and also to persons of other nations that wish to know the
portuguese language. We sought all we may do, to correct that want,
composing and divising the present little work in two parts. The first
includes a greatest vocabulary proper names by alphabetical order; and
the second forty-three Dialogues adapted to the usual precisions of
the life. For that reason we did put, with a scrupulous exactness, a
great variety own expressions to english and portugues idioms; without
to attach us selves (as make some others) almost at a literal
translation; translation what only will be for to accustom the
portuguese pupils, or foreign, to speak very bad any of the mentioned
idioms. We were increasing this second edition with a phraseology, in
the first part, and some familiar letters, anecdotes, idiotisms,
proverbs, and to second a coin's index.
"The _Works_ which we were confering for this labour, find use us for
nothing; but those what were publishing to Portugal, or out. They were
almost all composed for some foreign, or for some national little
acquainted in the spirit of both languages. It was resulting from that
corelessness to rest these _Works_ fill of imperfections and anomalies
of style; in spite of the infinite typographical faults which
sometimes invert the sense of the periods. It increase not to contain
any of those _Works_ the figured pronunciation of the english words,
nor the prosodical accent in the portugese: indispensable object whom
wish to speak the english and portuguese languages correctly.
"We expect then who the little book (for the care what we wrote him,
and for her typographical correction) that may be worth the acceptance
of the studious persons, and especially of the Youth, at which we
dedicate him particularly."
The "greatest vocabulary proper names" is in three columns--the first
giving the Portuguese, the second the English words, and the third the
English pronunciation:
Dô Múndo. Of the world. Ove thi Ueurlde.
Os astros. The stars. Thi esters.
Môça. Young girl. Yeun-gue guerle.
O relâmpago. The flash of lightning. Thi flax ove lait eningue.
The vocabulary fills about fifty pages, and is followed by a series of
"familiar phrases," of which a few are here given:
"Do which is that book? Do is so kind to tell me it. Let us go on ours
feet. Having take my leave, i was going. This trees make a beauty
shade. This wood is full of thief's. These apricots make me & to come
water in mouth. I have not stricken the clock. The storm is go over,
the sun begin to dissape it. I am stronger which him. That place is
too much gracious. That are the dishes whose you must be and to
abstain."
Then come the dialogues, and one we give is supposed to take place at a
morning call, which commences first with the visitor and the servant:
"'Is your master at home?'--'Yes, sir.' 'Is it up?'--'No, sir, he
sleep yet. I go make that he get up.' 'It come in one's? How is it you
are in bed yet?'--'Yesterday at evening I was to bed so late that i
may not rising me soon that morning.'"
This is followed by a description of the dissipation which led to these
late hours--"singing, dancing, laughing, and playing"--
"'What game?'--'To the picket.' 'Who have prevailed upon?'--'I have
gained ten lewis.' 'Till at what o'clock its had play one?'--'Untill
two o'clock after midnight.'"
But these conversations or dialogues, however amusing, are as nothing when
compared with the anecdotes which are given by Fonseca, of which we
transcribe a few:
"John II., Portugal King, had taken his party immediately. He had in
her court castillians ambassadors coming for treat of the pease. As
they had keeped in leng the negotiation he did them two papers in one
from which he had wrote _peace_ and on the other _war_--telling them
'Choice you!'"
"Philip, King's Macedonia, being fall, and seeing the extension of her
body drawed upon the dust was cry--'Greats Gods! that we may have
little part in this Univers!'"
"One eyed was laied against a man which had good eyes that he saw
better than him. The party was accepted. 'I had gain over,' said the
one eyed; 'why i see you two eyes, and you not look me who one!'"
"The most vertious of the pagans, Socrates, was accused from impiety,
and immolated to the fury of the envy and the fanaticism. When relates
one's him self that he has been condemned to death for the
Athenians--'And then told him, they are it for the nature,--But it is
an unjustly,' cried her woman 'would thy replied-him that might be
justify?'"
"Cæsar seeing one day to Roma, some strangers, very riches, which bore
between her arms little dogs and little monkeies and who was
carressign them too tenderly was ask, with so many great deal reason,
whether the women of her country don't had some children?"
"Two friends who from long they not were seen meet one's selves for
hazard. 'How do is there?' told one of the two. 'No very well, told
the other, and i am married from that I saw thee.' 'Good news.' 'Not
quit, because I had married with a bad woman.' 'So much worse.' 'Not
so much great deal worse; because her dower was from two thousand
lewis.' 'Well, that confort.' 'Not absolutely, why i had emplored this
sum for to buy some muttons which are all deads of the rot.' 'That is
indeed very sorry.' 'Not so sorry, because the selling of hers hide
have bring me above the price of the muttons.' 'So you are
indemnified.' 'Not quit, because my house where i was disposed my
money, finish to be consumed by the flames.' 'Oh, here is a great
misfortune!' 'Not so great nor i either, because my wife and my house
are burned together!'"
The concluding portion of this Guide is devoted to "Idiotisms and
Proverbs," of some of which it is rather difficult to recognise the
original, as "To take time by the forelock," is rendered "It want to take
the occasion for the hairs!" Here are a few others:
"The walls have hearsay."
"Four eyes does see better than two."
"There is not any ruler without a exception."
"The mountain in work put out a mouse."
"He is like the fish into the water."
"To buy a cat in a pocket."
"To come back at their muttons."
"He is not so devil as he is black."
"Keep the chestnut of the fire with the hand of the cat."
"What come in to me for an ear yet out for another."
"Take out the live coals with the hand of the cat."
"These roses do button at the eyesight."
Enough perhaps has been given about this amusing Guide, and we here
introduce Professor E. H. Palmer's verses:
THE PARTERRE.
A POETRY AS THE FONSECA.
"I don't know any greatest treat
As sit him in a gay parterre,
And sniff one up the perfume sweet
Of every roses buttoning there.
It only want my charming miss
Who make to blush the self red rose;
Oh! I have envy of to kiss
The end's tip of her splendid nose.
Oh! I have envy of to be
What grass neath her pantoffle push,
And too much happy seemeth me
The margaret which her vestige crush.
But I will meet her nose at nose,
And take occasion for the hairs,
And indicate her all my woes,
That she in fine agree my prayers.
THE ENVOY.
I don't know any greatest treat
As sit him in a gay parterre,
With Madame who is too more sweet
Than every roses buttoning there."
Pidgin English is the name given to the dialect extensively used in the
seaport towns of China as a means of communication between the natives and
English and Americans, and is a very rude jargon in which English words
are very strangely distorted. It is very limited, the Chinese learning
Pidgin with only the acquirement of a few hundred words, the pronunciation
and grammar of which have been modified to suit those of their own
language. The word Pidgin itself is derived through a series of changes in
the word _Business_. Early traders made constant use of this word, and the
Chinaman contracted it first to _Busin_, and then through the change to
_Pishin_ it at length assumed the form of _Pidgin_, still retaining its
original meaning. This at once shows the difficulty which a Chinaman has
in mastering the pronunciation of English words, and as business or
commerce is the great bond of union between the Chinese and the foreign
residents, it is not to be wondered at that this word should give name to
the jargon formed in its service. The Chinese have great difficulty in
using the letter _r_, pronouncing it almost always like _l_, as _loom_ for
_room_, _cly_ for _cry_; and for the sake of euphony often add _ee_ or
_lo_ to the end of words. _Galaw_ or _galow_ is a word of no meaning,
being used as a kind of interjection; _chop, chop_, means quick, quick;
_maskee_, don't mind; _chop b'long_, of a kind; _topside galow_,
excelsior, or "hurrah for topside"; _chin chin_, good-bye; _welly culio_,
very curious; _Joss-pidgin-man_, priest. With these few hints the reader
may understand better the following version of "Excelsior," which
originally appeared in _Harpers' Magazine_ in 1869,--the moral, however,
belongs solely to the Chinese translator:
TOPSIDE-GALOW.
"That nightee teem he come chop chop
One young man walkee, no can stop;
Colo maskee, icee maskee;
He got flag; chop b'long we_ll_y cu_l_io, see--
Topside-galow!
He too muchee so_ll_y; one piecee eye
Looksee sharp--so fashion--alla same my:
He talkee largee, talkee st_l_ong,
Too muchee cu_l_io; alla same gong--
Topside-galow!
Inside any housee he can see light,
Any piecee _l_oom got fire all _l_ight;
He looksee plenty ice more high,
Inside he mouf he plenty c_l_y--
Topside-galow!
'No can walkee!' olo man speakee he;
'Bimeby _l_ain come, no can see;
Hab got water we_ll_y wide!'
Maskee, my must go topside--
Topside-galow!
'Man-man,' one galo talkee he;
'What for you go topside look-see?'
'Nother teem,' he makee plenty c_l_y,
Maskee, alla teem walkee plenty high--
Topside-galow!
'Take care that spilum t_l_ee, young man,
Take care that icee!' he no man-man,
That coolie chin-chin he 'Good-night;'
He talkee, 'My can go all _l_ight'--
Topside-galow!
Joss-pidgin-man chop chop begin,
Morning teem that Joss chin-chin,
No see any man, he plenty fear,
Cause some man talkee, he can hear--
Topside-galow!
Young man makee die; one largee dog see
Too muchee bobbe_l_y, findee hee.
Hand too muchee colo, inside can stop
Alla same piecee flag, got cu_l_io chop--
Topside-galow!
MORAL.
You too muchee laugh! What for sing?
I think so you no savey t'hat ting!
Supposey you no b'long clever inside,
More betta _you_ go walk topside!
Topside-galow!"
In connection with these linguistic curiosities we take the following from
an old number of _Harpers' Magazine_: "A practical parent objects to the
silliness of our nursery rhymes, for the reason that the doggerel is
rendered pernicious by the absence of a practical moral purpose, and as
introducing infants to the realities of life through an utterly erroneous
medium. They are taught to believe in a world peopled by Little Bo-peeps
and Goosey, Goosey Ganders, instead of a world of New York Central, Erie,
North-Western Preferred, &c. &c. It is proposed, therefore, to accommodate
the teaching of the nursery to the requirements of the age, to invest
children's rhymes with a moral purpose. Instead, for example, of the blind
wonderment as to the nature of astronomical bodies inculcated in that
feeble poem commencing 'Twinkle, twinkle, little star,' let the child be
indoctrinated into the recent investigations of science, thus:
'Wrinkles, wrinkles, solar star,
I obtain of what you are,
When unto the noonday sky
I the spectroscope apply;
For the spectrum renders clear
Gaps within your photosphere,
Also sodium in the bar
Which your rays yield, solar star.'
"Then, again, there is the gastronomic career of Little Jack Homer, which
inculcates gluttony. It is practicable that this fictitious hero should
familiarise the child with the principles of the _Delectus_:
'Studious John Homer,
Of Latin no scorner,
In the second declension did spy
How nouns there are some
Which ending in _um_
Do _not_ make their plural in _i_.'
"The episode of Jack and Jill is valueless as an educational medium. But
it might be made to illustrate the arguments of a certain school of
political economists: