Mr. Vance explains how he came to grind colours and save half-pence.
--A sudden announcement.
The meal was over; the table had been spread by a window that looked upon
the river. The moon was up: the young men asked for no other lights;
conversation between them--often shifting, often pausing--had gradually
become grave, as it usually does with two companions in youth; while yet
long vistas in the Future stretch before them deep in shadow, and they
fall into confiding talk on what they wish,--what they fear; making
visionary maps in that limitless Obscure.
"There is so much power in faith," said Lionel, "even when faith is
applied but to things human and earthly, that let a man be but firmly
persuaded that he is born to do, some day, what at the moment seems
impossible, and it is fifty to one but what he does it before he dies.
Surely, when you were a child at school, you felt convinced that there
was something in your fate distinct from that of the other boys, whom the
master might call quite as clever,--felt that faith in yourself which
made you sure that you would be one day what you are."
"Well, I suppose so; but vague aspirations and self-conceits must be
bound together by some practical necessity--perhaps a very homely and a
very vulgar one--or they scatter and evaporate. One would think that
rich people in high life ought to do more than poor folks in humble life.
More pains are taken with their education; they have more leisure for
following the bent of their genius: yet it is the poor folks, often half
self-educated, and with pinched bellies, that do three-fourths of the
world's grand labour. Poverty is the keenest stimulant; and poverty made
me say, not 'I will do,' but 'I must.'"
"You knew real poverty in childhood, Frank?"
"Real poverty, covered over with sham affluence. My father was Genteel
Poverty, and my mother was Poor Gentility. The sham affluence went when
my father died. The real poverty then came out in all its ugliness. I
was taken from a genteel school, at which, long afterwards, I genteelly
paid the bills; and I had to support my mother somehow or other,--somehow
or other I succeeded. Alas, I fear not genteelly! But before I lost
her, which I did in a few years, she had some comforts which were not
appearances; and she kindly allowed, dear soul, that gentility and shams
do not go well together. Oh, beware of debt, Lionello mio; and never
call that economy meanness which is but the safeguard from mean
degradation."
"I understand you at last, Vance; shake hands: I know why you are
saving."
"Habit now," answered Vance, repressing praise of himself, as usual.
"But I remember so well when twopence was a sum to be respected that to
this day I would rather put it by than spend it. All our ideas--like
orange-plants--spread out in proportion to the size of the box which
imprisons the roots. Then I had a sister." Vance paused a moment, as if
in pain, but went on with seeming carelessness, leaning over the window-
sill, and turning his face from his friend. "I had a sister older than
myself, handsome, gentle."
"I was so proud of her! Foolish girl! my love was not enough for her.
Foolish girl! she could not wait to see what I might live to do for her.
She married--oh! so genteelly!--a young man, very well born, who had
wooed her before my father died. He had the villany to remain constant
when she had not a farthing, and he was dependent on distant relations,
and his own domains in Parnassus. The wretch was a poet! So they
married. They spent their honeymoon genteelly, I dare say. His
relations cut him. Parnassus paid no rents. He went abroad. Such
heart-rending letters from her. They were destitute. How I worked! how
I raged! But how could I maintain her and her husband too, mere child
that I was? No matter. They are dead now, both; all dead for whose sake
I first ground colours and saved halfpence. And Frank Vance is a stingy,
selfish bachelor. Never revive this dull subject again, or I shall
borrow a crown from you and cut you dead. Waiter, ho!--the bill. I'll
just go round to the stables, and see the horse put to."
As the friends re-entered London, Vance said, "Set me down anywhere in
Piccadilly; I will walk home. You, I suppose, of course, are staying
with your mother in Gloucester Place?"
"No," said Lionel, rather embarrassed; "Colonel Morley, who acts for me
as if he were my guardian, took a lodging for me in Chesterfield Street,
Mayfair. My hours, I fear, would ill suit my dear mother. Only in town
two days; and, thanks to Morley, my table is already covered with
invitations."
"Yet you gave me one day, generous friend!"
"You the second day, my mother the first. But there are three balls
before me to-night. Come home with me, and smoke your cigar while I
dress."
"No; but I will at least light my cigar in your hall, prodigal!"
Lionel now stopped at his lodging. The groom, who served him also as
valet, was in waiting at the door. "A note for you, sir, from Colonel
Morley,--just come." Lionel hastily opened it, and read,
MY DEAR HAUGHTON,--Mr. Darrell has suddenly arrived in London. Keep
yourself free all to-morrow, when, no doubt, he will see you. I am
hurrying off to him.
Yours in haste, A. V. M.