[_An inevitable article in any decent magazine at this time of the
year. Read it carefully, and then have an uproarious time in your
own little house._]
IT was a merry party assembled at Happy-Thought Hall for Christmas. The
Squire liked company, and the friends whom he had asked down for the
festive season had all stayed at Happy-Thought Hall before, and were
therefore well acquainted with each other. No wonder, then, that the wit
flowed fast and furious, and that the guests all agreed afterwards that
they had never spent such a jolly Christmas, and that the best of all
possible hosts was Squire Tregarthen!
But first we must introduce some of the Squire's guests to our readers.
The Reverend Arthur Manley, a clever young clergyman with a taste for
gardening, was talking in one corner to Miss Phipps, a pretty girl of
some twenty summers. Captain Bolsover, a smart cavalry officer, together
with Professor and Mrs. Smith-Smythe from Oxford, formed a small party
in another corner. Handsome Jack Ellison was, as usual, in deep
conversation with the beautiful Miss Holden, who, it was agreed among
the ladies of the party, was not altogether indifferent to his fine
figure and remarkable prospects. There were other guests, but as they
chiefly played the part of audience in the events which followed their
names will not be of any special interest to our readers. Suffice it to
say that they were all intelligent, well-dressed and ready for any sort
of fun.
(Now, thank heaven, we can begin.)
A burst of laughter from Captain Bolsover attracted general attention,
and everybody turned in his direction.
"By Jove, Professor, that's good," he said, as he slapped his knee; "you
must tell the others that."
"It was just a little incident that happened to me to-day as I was
coming down here," said the Professor, as he beamed round on the
company. "I happened to be rather late for my train, and as I bought my
ticket I asked the clerk what time it was. He replied, 'If it takes six
seconds for a clock to strike six, how long will it take to strike
twelve?' I said twelve seconds, but it seems I was wrong."
The others all said twelve seconds too, but they were all wrong. Can
_you_ guess the right answer?
Illustration: FIG. 1.--TO ILLUSTRATE THE PROFESSOR'S DELIGHTFUL STORY
OF THE BOOKING-CLERK'S ANSWER.
When the laughter had died down, the Reverend Arthur Manley said:
"That reminds me of an amusing experience which occurred to my
housekeeper last Friday. She was ordering a little fish for my lunch,
and the fishmonger, when asked the price of herrings, replied, 'Three
ha'pence for one and a-half,' to which my housekeeper said, 'Then I will
have twelve.' How much did she pay?" He smiled happily at the company.
"One-and-sixpence, of course," said Miss Phipps.
"No, no; ninepence," cried the Squire with a hearty laugh.
Captain Bolsover made it come to £1 3_s._ 2-1/2_d._, and the Professor
thought fourpence. But once again they were all wrong. What do _you_
make it come to?
Illustration: FIG. 2.--TO ILLUSTRATE THE CURATE'S INGENIOUS PROBLEM OF
THE FISHMONGER.
It was now Captain Bolsover's turn for an amusing puzzle, and the others
turned eagerly towards him.
"What was that one about a door?" said the Squire. "You were telling me
when we were out shooting yesterday, Bolsover."
Captain Bolsover looked surprised.
"Ah, no, it was young Reggie Worlock," said the Squire with a hearty
laugh.
"Oh, do tell us, Squire," said everybody.
"It was just a little riddle, my dear," said the Squire to Miss Phipps,
always a favourite of his. "When is a door not a door?"
Miss Phipps said when it was a cucumber; but she was wrong. So were the
others. See if _you_ can be more successful.
"Yes, that's very good," said Captain Bolsover; "it reminds me of
something which occurred during the Boer War."
Everybody listened eagerly.
"We were just going into action, and I happened to turn round to my men,
and say, 'Now, then, boys, give 'em beans!' To my amusement one of them
replied smartly, 'How many blue beans make five?' We were all so
interested working it out that we never got into action at all."
"But that's easy," said the Professor. "Five."
"Four," said Miss Phipps. (She would. Silly kid.)
"Six," said the Squire.
Which was right?
Illustration: FIG. 3.--TO ILLUSTRATE THE CAPTAIN'S THRILLING STORY OF
THE BOER WAR.
Jack Ellison had been silent during the laughter and jollity, always
such a feature of Happy-Thought Hall at Christmas time, but now he
contributed an ingenious puzzle to the amusement of the company.
"I met a man in a motor-'bus," he said in a quiet voice, "who told me
that he had four sons. The eldest son, Abraham, had a dog who used to go
and visit the three brothers occasionally. The dog, my informant told
me, was very unwilling to go over the same ground twice, and yet being
in a hurry wished to take the shortest journey possible. How did he
manage it?"
For a little while the company was puzzled. Then, after deep thought,
the Professor said:
"It depends on where they lived."
"Yes," said Ellison. "I forgot to say that my acquaintance drew me a
map." He produced a paper from his pocket. "Here it is."
Illustration: FIG. 4.--TO ILLUSTRATE THE JOURNEY OF THE SAGACIOUS
HOUND.
The others immediately began to puzzle over the answer, Miss Phipps
being unusually foolish, even for her. It was some time before they
discovered the correct route. What do _you_ think it is?
"Well," said the Squire, with a hearty laugh, "it's time for bed."
One by one they filed off, saying what a delightful evening they had
had. Jack Ellison was particularly emphatic, for the beautiful Miss
Holden had promised to be his wife. He, for one, will never forget
Christmas at Happy-Thought Hall.
[NOTE.--The originals of the drawings are on sale from the Author at
five guineas apiece.]