_To Editor Home and Lady Page who are so smooth of heart and soft of
mind he can safely introduce gasolene into most explosive families._
Dear Hon. Mr!--With delicious rapidity I shot off from my last
situation of work, care Mrs. Seth Hopp, Camden, N. J. This lady admire
my talent so much she appoint me to every task of a disagreeable
nature. In her supply of housework she include one slight, grey
ottomobile of one-lung capacity and asthma of engine. This machinery
are like mosquitos, small but cross.
Mr. Editor, I have always dreaded to get acquainted with ottomobiles
because they are connected with so many crimes. Yet when I am
employed as Gen. Houseworker in a house where a cook must understand
chauffering, what could I?
Last Munday a. m. Hon. Mrs. Hopp approach to me with racetrack
expression and corrode,
“Togo, as soonly as you finish washing dishes, go out to garage and
wash ottomobile. Then take him down to R R depot to meet Mr. Hopp at
5.66 train.”
“I do not understood your ottomobile,” I abject.
“Nobody does,” she say cheerly. “Yet I are sure you can become mister
of this difficult wagon, because Japanese are extra bright little
people.”
I thank her with bent stomach. And yet calm nervousness straddled my
heart.
As soonly as I had finished bathing dishes, Hon. Mrs. lead me forthly
to gas-stable where that iron animal stood amidst awful perfumery. I
was shocked to observe the cruel expression of lamps with which he
gazed at me.
“He are simple and good natured when you know his habits,” she explain.
“This truth are also true of vampires,” I dib for frights.
“Your duty must be to dust him night and morning, manicure his
carborette and train him to obey. When you learn to control him, it
shall be your duty to drive Hon. Mr. Hopp back & forthly. I show you
how to learn.”
Hon. Mrs go to home & put on racetrack hat peculiar to motor. Then she
teach me free lesson.
Firstly she go to front nose of Hon. Ottomobile and twist crank
resembling ice-cream freezer. Mad trembly arrive from his insides!
“Now he are ready to do anything,” collapse Hon. Mrs dragging me to
seat besides her. I set here holding on to my soul.
“Observe my antics if possible,” she commit with extreme dexterity of
thumbs, heels, hands & elbows while she poke 6 buttons, jerk 1 doz
handles, inflame electricity and make goose-cry by horn.