_That using hard Words and long Sentences, in Discourse or in Writing,
is an Indication of Scholarship._
It must be allowed, that good Language is a very great Embellishment,
either to a Person's Conversation, or his Writing; but as it is intended
only to set off what we have to say to the best Advantage, we should
endeavour to use it with such Moderation, as will answer that End, and no
more; otherwise, we shall make ourselves appear very ridiculous in the Eyes
of Men of Learning and Knowledge.
Good Language, in the Mouth of a Fine Gentleman, resembles the Elegance of
his Dress; it becomes equally ridiculous when ill-judged, or over done: For
as there is no Doubt but good Cloaths set off the Person to a great
Advantage, when they are made with Judgement, and worn with a becoming
Carriage, so an elegant Choice of Words and Sentences are a great Ornament
to Conversation. But on the other Hand, a Suit of Cloaths, though made of
the finest Materials and covered with Lace, will make but an aukward
Appearance if it is ill-made, and worn by one who has not the Carriage of a
Gentleman. So it is with Language. Fine Words, in the Mouths of the
Ignorant, are as unbecoming as Gold Lace upon the Back of a Porter.--And
not only the Ignorant are guilty of this Error, but even those who do know
the Meaning of the Words they use, are apt, by affecting an elegant
Diction, to run themselves into Obscurity; and while they are attending to
their Language, and studying hard Words, neglect the Matter of their
Discourse; to explain which is the sole End of Speaking. The Use of Words
being only to convey our Ideas to each other.
There is a Shew-board over a Watchmaker's Shop at Oxford, which may serve
for a Burlesque upon the Folly of using hard Words: I cannot charge my
Memory with all the Jargon wrote upon that Board; however, I remember that
it was a long Account of what the Man in the Shop sold, and what he did;
and among other Things it said that _Horologies_ were _mundified_ there;
which Expression we think is enough to make any Man sick of the Languages,
and abjure every Thing that belongs to Literature for the future.
I have met People in the Street, whose profound Ignorance I have been well
assured of, who have immediately stunned me upon the first entering into
Discourse with half a Dozen hard Words: And it is not long since, a young
Gentleman came to the Coffee-house, and ordered the Waiter, when he sent
Coffee and Tea to his Chambers, to let him have an _additional_ Muffin: The
Man stared at him, and told him, that he did not know how to do one in that
Manner, but he could carbonade him one if he pleased.
A Lady would think it extraordinary language, upon a Gentleman's desiring
to carry on an Intrigue with her, if he was to ask her, whether she would
have an additional Husband, or not? However, as this is a prodigious fine
Word, and as fine Words are always made use of in addressing the Ladies, we
are of Opinion that it would be proper to adapt this as an Improvement in
the Language of Lovers.
Almost all Professions are stuffed so full of Terms of Art, that to
understand the Meaning of all the Words which are made use in any one of
them, is long enough for a Science of itself. The only End they answer, is
to puzzle those who are not of the same Profession. Not long ago, a young
Man in the Country, who had weak Eyes, applied to a Surgeon for Relief in
his Disorder. The Surgeon, upon examining his Patient, told him, that he
would send him some Drops which would _refrigerate_ his Eye.
The young Man came Home again, not very well satisfied, being not certain
what he might have to undergo by this Refrigeration, having never heard the
Word before. Surely he might with as much Propriety have been told, that
what was in the Bottle would put him to no Pain, but was only intended to
cool his Eyes.
It is incredible to think how cleverly some People, who have not had the
Advantages of Education, will manage about Half a Dozen of these Words when
they have got them. I have known some, who, for the Space of four or five
Minutes, would deceive a Stranger, and induce him to think that he had met
with a Person of great Learning. And however odd this may appear, we think
we ourselves can manage the few hard Words which have been mentioned here,
in such a Manner as to make an extraordinary Sentence of them: For
Instance, supposing a Person had no other fine Words but these in his
Catalogue, and had an Occasion for them in addressing a Lady; we are of
Opinion, that he might shine by ranging them all in this Order.
Madam, I presume your _Horologie_ will never go right unless it is
_mundified_ by an _additional_ Lover; therefore, let me have the Honour to
_refrigerate_ your Eye.
A Swain of a more happy Invention, might make a much finer Speech out of
these Words; but as we have done our utmost in the Attempt, we shall take
Leave of the Subject; having shewn, to a Demonstration, the singular
Advantage of making Use of fine Words.
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