I have already recorded the first twenty-four hours of my life in
Ireland; and, if there was enough in them to satisfy me that the country
was unlike in many respects that which I had left, there was also some
show of reason to convince me that, if I did not conform to the habits
and tastes of those around me, I should incur a far greater chance of
being laughed at by them than be myself amused by their eccentricities.
The most remarkable feature that struck me was the easy, even cordial
manner with which acquaintance was made. Every one met you as if he had
in some measure been prepared for the introduction; a tone of intimacy
sprang up at once; your tastes were hinted, your wishes guessed at,
with an unaffected kindness that made you forget the suddenness of the
intimacy: so that, when at last you parted with your dear friend of
some half an hour's acquaintance, you could not help wondering at the
confidences you had made, the avowals you had spoken, and the lengths to
which you had gone in close alliance with one you had never seen before,
and might possibly never meet again. Strange enough as this was with
men, it was still more singular when it extended to the gentler sex.
Accustomed as I had been all my life to the rigid observances of
etiquette in female society, nothing surprised me so much as the rapid
steps by which Irish ladies passed from acquaintance to intimacy, from
intimacy to friendship. The unsuspecting kindliness of woman's nature
has certainly no more genial soil than in the heart of Erin's daughters.
There is besides, too, a winning softness in their manner towards the
stranger of another land that imparts to their hospitable reception a
tone of courteous warmth I have never seen in any other country.
The freedom of manner I have here alluded to, however delightful it may
render the hours of one separated from home, family, and friends, is
yet not devoid of its inconveniences. How many an undisciplined and
uninformed youth has misconstrued its meaning and mistaken its
import How often have I seen the raw subaltern elated with imaginary
success--flushed with a fancied victory--where, in reality, he had
met with nothing save the kind looks and the kind words in which the
every-day courtesies of life are couched, and by which, what, in less
favoured lands, are the cold and chilling observances of ceremony, are
here the easy and familiar intercourse of those who wish to know each
other.
The coxcomb who fancies that he can number as many triumphs as he has
passed hours in Dublin, is like one who, estimating the rich production
of a southern clime by their exotic value in his own colder regions,
dignifies by the name of luxury what are in reality but the every-day
productions of the soil: so he believes peculiarly addressed to
himself the cordial warmth and friendly greeting which make the social
atmosphere around him.
If I myself fell deeply into this error, and if my punishment was a
heavy one, let my history prove a beacon to all who follow in my steps;
for Dublin is still a garrison city, and I have been told that lips as
tempting and eyes as bright are to be met there as heretofore. Now to my
story.
Life in Dublin, at the time I write of, was about as gay a thing as a
man can well fancy. Less debarred than in other countries from
partaking of the lighter enjoyments of life, the members of the learned
professions mixed much in society; bringing with them stores of
anecdote and information unattainable from other sources, they made
what elsewhere would have proved the routine of intercourse a season
of intellectual enjoyment. Thus, the politician, the churchman, the
barrister, and the military man, shaken as they were together in dose
intimacy, lost individually many of the prejudices of their caste, and
learned to converse with a wider and more extended knowledge of the
world. While this was so, another element, peculiarly characteristic
of the country, had its share in modelling social life--that innate
tendency to drollery, that bent to laugh with every one and at
everything, so eminently Irish, was now in the ascendant. From the
Viceroy downwards, the island was on the broad grin. Every day furnished
its share, its quota of merriment. Epigrams, good stories, repartees,
and practical jokes rained in showers over the land. A privy council was
a _conversazione_ of laughing bishops and droll chief-justices. Every
trial at the bar, every dinner at the court, every drawing-room,
afforded a theme for some ready-witted absurdity; and all the graver
business of life was carried on amid this current of unceasing fun and
untiring drollery, just as we see the serious catastrophe of a modern
opera assisted by the crash of an orchestral accompaniment.
With materials like these society was made up; and into this I plunged
with all the pleasurable delight of one who, if he could not appreciate
the sharpness, was at least dazzled by the brilliancy of the wit that
flashed around him. My duties as aide-de-camp were few, and never
interfered with my liberty: while in my double capacity of military man
and _attaché_ to the court, I was invited everywhere, and treated with
marked courtesy and kindness. Thus passed my life pleasantly along, when
a few mornings after the events I have mentioned, I was sitting at my
breakfast, conning over my invitations for the week, and meditating a
letter, home, in which I should describe my mode of life with as much
reserve as might render the record of my doings a safe disclosure for
the delicate nerves of my lady-mother. In order to accomplish this
latter task with success, I scribbled with some notes a sheet of paper
that lay before me. “Among other particularly nice people, my dear
mother,” wrote I, “there are the Rooneys. Mr. Rooney--a member of the
Irish bar, of high standing and great reputation--is a most agreeable
and accomplished person. How much I should like to present him to you.”
I had got thus far, when a husky, asthmatic cough, and a muttered curse
on the height of my domicile, apprised me that some one was at my door.
At the same moment a heavy single knock, that nearly stove in the panel,
left no doubt upon my mind.
“Are ye at home, or is it sleeping ye are? May I never, if it's much
else the half of ye's fit for. Ugh, blessed hour! three flights of
stairs, with a twist in them instead of a landing. Ye see he's not in
the place. I tould you that before I came up. But if s always the same
thing. Corny, run here; Corny, fly there; get me this, take that. Bad
luck to them! One would think they badgered me for bare divarsion, the
haythins, the Turks!”
A fit of coughing, that almost convinced me that Corny had given his
last curse, followed this burst of eloquence, just as I appeared at the
door.
“What's the matter, Corny?”
“The matter?--ugh, ain't I coughing my soul out with a wheezing and
whistling in my chest like a creel of chickens. Here's Mr. Rooney
wanting to see ye; and faith,” as he added in an under tone, “if s not
long you wor in making his acquaintance. That's his room,” added he,
with a jerk of his thumb. “Now lave the way if you plase, and let me got
a howld of the banisters.”
With these words Corny began his descent, while I, apologising to Mr.
Rooney for not having sooner perceived kirn, bowed him into the room
with all proper ceremony.
“A thousand apologies, Mr. Hinton, for the unseasonable hour of my
visit, but business----”
“Pray not a word,” said I; “always delighted to see you. Mrs. Rooney is
well, I hope?”
“Charming, upon my honour. But, as I was saying, I could not well come
later; there is a case in the King's Bench--Rex _versus_ Ryves--a heavy
record, and I want to catch the counsel to assure him that all's safe.
God knows, it has cost me an anxious night. Everything depended on one
witness, an obstinate beast that wouldn't listen to reason. We got hold
of him last night; got three doctors to certify he was out of his mind;
and, at this moment, with his head shaved, and a grey suit on him, he is
the noisiest inmate in Glassnevin madhouse.”
“Was not this a very bold, a very dangerous expedient?”
“So it was. He fought like a devil, and his outrageous conduct has its
reward, for they put him on low diet and handcuffs the moment he went
in. But excuse me, if I make a hurried visit. Mrs. Rooney requests
that--that--but where the devil did I put it?”
Here Mr. Rooney felt his coat-pockets, dived into those of his
waistcoat, patted himself all over, then looked into his hat, then round
the room, on the floor, and even outside the door upon the lobby.
“Sure it is not possible I've lost it.”
“Nothing of consequence, I hope?” said I.
“What a head I have,” replied he, with a knowing grin, while at the
same moment throwing up the sash of my window, he thrust out the head in
question, and gave a loud shrill whistle.
Scarcely was the casement closed when a ragged urchin appeared at the
door, carrying on his back the ominous stuff-bag containing the record
of Mr. Rooney's rogueries.
“Give me the bag, Tim,” quoth he; at the same moment he plunged his
hand deep among the tape-tied parcels, and extricated a piece of square
pasteboard, which, having straightened and flattened upon his knee, he
presented to me with a graceful bow, adding, jocosely, “an ambassador
without his credentials would never do.”
It was an invitation to dinner at Mr. Rooney's for the memorable Friday
for which my friend O'Grady had already received his card.
“Nothing will give me more pleasure----”
“No, will it though? how very good of you! a small cosy party--Harry
Burgh, Bowes Daley, Barrington, the judges, and a few more. There now,
no ceremony, I beg of you. Come along, Joe. Good morning, Mr. Hinton:
not a step further.”
So saying, Mr. Rooney backed and shuffled himself out of my room, and,
followed by his faithful attendant, hurried down stairs, muttering a
series of self-gratulations, as he went, on the successful result of his
mission. Scarcely had he gone, when I heard the rapid stride of another
visitor, who, mounting four steps at a time, came along chanting, at the
top of his voice,
“My two back teeth I will bequeath
To the Reverend Michael Palmer;
His wife has a tongue that'll match them well,
She's a devil of a scold, God d--n her!”
“How goes it, Jack my hearty?” cried he, as he sprang into the room,
flinging his sabre into the corner, and hurling his foraging cap upon
the sofa.
“You have been away, O'Grady? What became of you for the last two days?”
“Down at the Curragh, taking a look at the nags for the Spring Meeting.
Dined with the bar at Naas; had a great night with them; made old Moore
gloriously tipsy, and sent him into court the next morning with the
overture to Mother Goose in his bag instead of his brief. Since daybreak
I have been trying a new horse in the Park, screwing him over all the
fences, and rushing him at the double rails in the pathway, to see if he
can't cross the country.”
“Why the hunting season is nearly over.”
“Quite true; but it is the Loughrea Steeple-chase I am thinking of. I
have promised to name a horse, and I only remembered last night that
I had but twenty-four hours to do it. The time was short, but by good
fortune I heard of this grey on my way up to town.”
“And you think he'll do?”
“He has a good chance, if one can only keep on his back; but what
between bolting, plunging, and rushing through his fences, he is not a
beast for a timid elderly gentleman. After all, one must have something:
the whole world will be there; the Rooneys are going; and that pretty
little girl with them. By-the-by, Jack, what do you think of Miss
Bellew?”
“I can scarcely tell you; I only saw her for a moment, and then that
Hibernian hippopotamus, Mrs. Paul, so completely overshadowed her, there
was no getting a look at her.”
“Devilish pretty girl, that she is; and one day or other, they say, will
have an immense fortune. Old Rooney always shakes his head when the idea
is thrown out, which only convinces me the more of her chance.”
“Well, then, Master Phil, why don't you do something in that quarter?”
“Well, so I should; but somehow, most unaccountably, you'll say, I don't
think I made any impression. To be sure, I never went vigorously to
work: I couldn't get over my scruples of making up to a girl who may
have a large fortune, while I myself am so confoundedly out at the
elbows; the thing would look badly, to say the least of it; and so, when
I did think I was making a little running, I only 'held in' the faster,
and at length gave up the race. _You_ are the man, Hinton. _Your_
chances, I should say--”
“Ah, I don't know.”
Just at this moment the door opened, and Lord Dudley de Vere entered,
dressed in coloured clothes, cut in the most foppish style of the day,
and with his hands stuck negligently behind in his coat-pockets.
He threw himself affectedly into a chair, and eyed us both without
speaking.
“I say, messieurs, Rooney or not Rooney? that's the question. Do we
accept this invitation for Friday?”
“I do, for one,” said I, somewhat haughtily.
“Can't be, my boy,” said O'Grady; “the thing is most unlucky: they have
a dinner at court that same day; our names are all on the list; and
thus we lose the Rooneys, which, from all I hear, is a very serious loss
indeed. Daley, Barrington, Harry Martin, and half a dozen others, the
first fellows of the day, are all to be there.”
“What a deal they will talk,” yawned out Lord Dudley. “I feel rather
happy to have escaped it. There's no saying a word to the woman beside
you, as long as those confounded fellows keep up a roaring fire of what
they think wit. What an idea! to be sure; there is not a man among them
that can tell you the odds upon the Derby, nor what year there was a
dead heat for the St. Léger. That little girl the Rooneys have got
is very pretty, I must confess; but I see what they are at: won't do,
though. Ha! O'Grady, you know what I mean?”
“Faith, I am very stupid this morning; can't say that I do.”
“Not see it! It is a hollow thing; but perhaps you are in the scheme
too. There, you needn't look angry; I only meant it in joke--ha! ha! ha!
I say, Hinton, do you take care of yourself: Englishers have no chance
here; and when they find it won't do with _me_, they'll take you in
training.”
“Anything for a _pis-aller_” said O'Grady, sarcastically; “but let
us not forget there is a levee to-day, and it is already past twelve
o'clock.”
“Ha! to be sure, a horrid bore.”
So saying, Lord Dudley lounged one more round the room, looked at
himself in the glass, nodded familiarly to his own image, and took his
leave. O'Grady soon followed; while I set about my change of dress with
all the speed the time required.
[Transcriber's note: The remainder of this file digitized
from a different print copy which uses single quotation
marks for all quotes.]