(_SUPPLEMENTARY AND IMAGINARY DESPATCH NOT YET RECEIVED AT THE FOREIGN
OFFICE._)
It will be remembered that I had the honour to report that amongst
my _suite_ I had the pleasure to be accompanied by Herr VON POPOFF,
the celebrated Germano-Russian _prestidigitateur_. When I received a
despatch from the Foreign Office informing me that I was premature
in destroying the Draft Treaty, although that Draft Treaty contained
provisions that were entirely different to those which the Sultan had
already at the time accepted and promised to sign, I made up my mind
to return to His Sheriffian Majesty with a view to setting things
right. I considered it advisable to be accompanied by Herr VON POPOFF,
as I counted upon that eminent conjuror's valuable aid to assist me in
carrying out what I venture to submit, was my praiseworthy object.
When we reached the room the Sultan was occupying, we found His
Sheriffian Majesty regarding with some indignation, the remains of the
Draft Treaty that had been brought back to him by the messengers the
Sultan had sent to me.
His Majesty was very angry, and had given orders for the immediate
execution of Herr VON POPOFF and myself, when my talented assistant
gently placed his hand upon the head of the swarthy and irate
Sovereign, and by a clever pass produced an egg. This amused and
amazed the Sultan immensely, and his Sheriffian Majesty desired that
the feat should be repeated. This request received immediate practical
acquiescence as the wonderworker deliberately extracted eggs from the
Sultan's arms, legs, and whiskers. Having obtained some dozen eggs by
this means, Herr VON POPOFF borrowed a turban from the Prime Minister,
and breaking the eggs into his improvised saucepan, mixed the mess
into a compact mass with the assistance of a scimitar kindly lent for
the occasion by the Commander-in-Chief.
"High cock-alorum jig, jig, jig!" exclaimed the Wizard, and in
a trice, the eggs had disappeared, and in their place appeared a
pound-cake. I have the honour to report that the cake was then cut
into small portions and passed round for consumption. His Sheriffian
Majesty was good enough to partake of the rather stale comestible. The
remainder of the cake was devoured by the _suite_.
By this time the Sultan was in great good humour, when unfortunately
his eyes fell upon the remains of the destroyed Draft Treaty which
were still lying unheeded on the palace floor. Seeing them his
Sheriffian Majesty rolled his eyes savagely, and sent for the Lord
High Executioner.
It was at this crisis that Herr VON POPOFF showed great presence of
mind and absolute coolness. Without a moment's hesitation he requested
that the fragments of paper might be given to him. Taking them in
his right hand, he placed them in the turban he had previously used
for manufacturing his pound-cake, and once more repeated his magic
formula.
To the general surprise (and I must not omit my own individuality from
the universal astonishment) he produced a new Treaty, which I then had
the honour of handing to the Sultan for signature.
The Treaty (which was subsequently discovered to contain several
important concessions to the country I have the honour to represent)
was then signed, and the _prestidigitateur_ and I retired loaded with
honours.
I have, in conclusion, to beg permission to wear the Sheriffian Order
of the Diamond-eyed Pig of the Second Class. The Sun-Star of the
Emerald Life-sized White Elephant of the Double First-Class has
already been accepted by Herr VON POPOFF, as that gentleman, being a
foreign subject, has no need to desire official authorisation to use
his recently-acquired and extremely bulky decoration.
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[Illustration: "GROUSE DRIVING."
THIS IS WHAT SHE IMAGINED IT TO BE IN HER DREAM OF THE 12TH OF
AUGUST.]
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