May I make certain preliminary observations? Painters and poets depict
Love to us in golden hues and arouse in us happy and sympathetic, and, I
trust, reminiscent response, helping us to realise that life without the
love of man and woman would be like the world without sunshine.
Though, therefore, the social student in his approach to the subject is
not helped by the beauties of colour and song, it behoves him to avoid
undue solemnity, and still more an air of portentous foreboding.
In each age customs have been deplored as heralds of evil, but the evils
have seldom materialised.
One of the difficulties of this subject is that those who are called
upon to give counsel are apt to forget the strength of the forces to be
dealt with, for it is during youth especially that sex attractions are
so powerful, and, may I add, so delightful. Middle-aged people may be
divided into three classes.
Those who are still young.
Those who have forgotten they were young.
Those who were never young.
And it is with the first class before my eyes that I am privileged to
address this audience.
I will confine my attention to the sexual relationships between
unrelated adult people in youth and prime.
It is common ground that sex love between such people should be the
physical expression of a lasting affection, and be so intimately blended
with the feelings of helpfulness, sympathy, and intimate friendship as
to form a union of body, mind and spirit. It further should be
associated with the love of and desire for children.
This complex is best secured by the institution of marriage.
All its constituent features, except two, are vividly realised in
intimate friendship, and above all, in that unique bond between mother
and son which with some of us is the most wonderful thing in our lives.
Its two exclusively distinctive features are: _sex love_ and _child
love_.
These are the real problems before us to-day, particularly the former,
and if in these remarks I seem to concentrate on the problems of sex
love, be it understood I do so from a desire to save the time of the
meeting and not because I think sex love should reign alone in
unbalanced supremacy.
And by sex love I mean that love which involves intercourse or the
desire for such.
It is necessary to my argument to emphasise that sex love is one of the
clamant dominating forces of the world. Not only does history show the
destinies of nations and dynasties determined by its sway--but here in
our every-day life we see its influence, direct or indirect, forceful
and ubiquitous beyond aught else.