We understand that Lord FISHER, who is reported to have taken a week off to
say what he thought about the Budget, has asked for an extension of time.
* * *
Germany has decided to abolish gradually all titles of nobility. They will
disappear Von by Von.
* * *
Six hundred Irish emigrants left for New York last Wednesday on board the
_Celtic_. All, we understand, were advised before leaving that the price of
a man's votes, after the first five or six, isn't what it was in former
Presidential elections.
* * *
"I hope I will not come back until the basis of a real peace with Russia is
secured," said Mr. SNOWDEN on the eve of his departure. There are other
people who don't much mind what cause detains him.
* * *
An earthquake is reported in California, and a volume of poems by the POET
LAUREATE is announced. What a breathless week!
* * *
"What is wanted in our prisons," says a well-known preacher, "is more
humanity; in the Irish prisons in particular the right kind of humanity."
Even in the rare cases where we get hold of it we don't seem able to keep
it.
* * *
The Liverpool and District Federation of Brotherhoods and Sisterhoods,
protesting against Sunday cricket, declare their anxiety to maintain in
every way the traditional sacredness of the English Sabbath. With roast
beef at its present price this seems scarcely possible.
* * *
A "uniform evening dress for women" was advocated at a discussion on
"Fashions" by members of the Lyceum Club. Smart Society, it is observed, by
a gradual process of elimination is working down to something of the kind.
* * *
"Increased party bitterness," says a Berlin correspondent, "is becoming a
feature of German life." A sharp cleavage of opinion is detected between
the party that refuses to comply with the terms of the Peace Treaty and the
section that merely intends to evade them.
* * *
It appears that a man has been fined five pounds for using bad language
about Mr. WINSTON CHURCHILL. Latest reports from the district are to the
effect that his remarks were rather good value for the money.
* * *
A weekly paper advocates the sterilizing of all foodstuffs. This is a
decided advance on the old custom of sifting soup through a set of
whiskers.
* * *
Germany, says Mr. JAMES DOUGLAS, lost the War. It is said that even the
ex-Kaiser now admits that everything seems to point that way.
* * *
A Madras tiger cub, we are informed, has been born at Pontypridd. We can
only suppose that the animal did not know it was Pontypridd.
* * *
Futurist painters, says a contemporary, are becoming scarce in America. The
wave of crime that followed the War seems to be falling off.
* * *
The Department Committee of the Falkland Islands suggest that whales should
be marked by a small projectile. This is much better than screwing the
monster into a vice and carving its name and address on it with a chisel.
* * *
A Beachy Head correspondent writes to a daily paper to say that he has seen
a peculiarly bright light in the sky. Quite a number of people are asking,
Can it be the sun?
* * *
A morning paper reports that the Government is now offering for sale all
machinery, fixtures and fittings installed in a certain large aerodrome in
Hampshire. It is rumoured that they will be willing to buy them back from
the purchasers at an enhanced price in order to equip a new aerodrome in
the same locality.
* * *
According to a witness at Willesden Police Court a carter charged with
insulting behaviour swore for twenty minutes without repeating himself. We
understand that the Bargees' Union take a very serious view of the matter.
* * *
"The cost of cremation is now exceptionally low," announces a Sunday paper.
Inexpensive luxuries are so rare in these days that one is tempted to give
it a trial.
* * *
Replying to Sir K. FRASER, Mr. AUSTEN CHAMBERLAIN stated that he was not
prepared to levy an equalizing tax on total abstainers. The belief that
they are already sufficiently punished is widely held.
* * *
"Man, naturally funny, desires to be trained for stage funny-man" (_Times_
Advertisement). The initial handicap is bound to tell against him. He
should try the House of Commons.
* * *
Twenty-one pigs have died at Woking as the result of eating phosphorus. The
owner was apparently unaware that it has taken years to accustom the
American pig to a phosphorus diet.
* * *
Hythe Council is offering sixpence a dozen for dead wasps. Hunters may
bring their captures in on the hoof but must slaughter them before they can
touch the money.
* * *
A South Wales miner charged with trapping birds was found to be wearing
three coats. As this might have been due to an oversight on the part of his
valet it was not included in the charge.
* * * * *
[Illustration: THE THINGS WE WRITE.
"SIR POMPEY AND HIS GUESTS LITERALLY SWAM IN CHAMPAGNE."]
* * * * *
Our Tireless Terpsichoreans.
"Miss ----'s dance will take place on the 22nd and terminate on the
29th for this season."--_Advt. in Provincial Paper._
* * * * *
"That fine sporting neighbourhood, Epsom, is represented by a big
cheque from the town cub."--_Evening Paper._
Good dog!
* * * * *