UNDER THE HOLLY.
It seemed to Hester that she had been for hours out of doors, and that
the lingering June evening would never end. Now and then she met in the
fields a party of Redborough people taking a walk--a mother with a
little group of children, a father with a taller girl or boy, a pair of
lovers. They all looked after her, wondering a little that a young lady,
and one who belonged to the Vernons (for everybody knew her), should be
out so late alone. "But why should she not have a young man too?" the
lovers thought, and felt a great interest in the question whether they
should meet her again, and who _he_ might be. But still it could not be
said to be dark--the wild roses were still quite pink upon the hedges.
The moments lingered along, the clocks kept chiming by intervals.
Hester, by dint of long thinking, felt that she had become incapable of
all thought. She no longer remembered what she had intended to say to
him, nor could divine what he would say. If it were but over, if the
moment would but come! She felt capable of nothing but that wish; her
mind seemed to be running by her like a stream, with a strange velocity
which came to nothing. Then she woke up suddenly to feel that the time
had come. The summer fields all golden with buttercups had stolen away
into the grey, the hedgerows only betrayed themselves by a vague
darkness. She could not see the faces, or anything but ghostlike
outlines of those she met. The time had come when one looks like
another, and identity is taken away.
There was nobody upon the Grange road. She went along as swift as a
shadow, like a ghost, her veil over her face. The holly-tree stood black
like a pillar of cloud at the gate, and some one stood close by
waiting--not a creature to see them far or near. They clasped hands and
stood together enveloped by the greyness, the confused atmosphere of
evening, which seemed to hide them even from each other.
"Thank Heaven I have you at last. I thought you were never coming,"
Edward said.
"It was not dark enough till now. Oh, Edward! that we should meet like
thieves, like----"
"Lovers, darling. The most innocent of lovers come together
so--especially when the fates are against them; they are against us no
more, Hester. Take my arm, and let us go. We have nothing to wait for. I
think I have thought of everything. Good-bye to the old life--the
dreary, the vain. My only love! Come, there is nothing to detain us----"
It was at this moment that the secret listener--who came without any
intention of listening, who wanted only to see who it was and what it
meant--losing her shoe in the heavy ground of the shrubbery, stole into
that corner behind the wall.
"Oh, Edward, wait--there is everything to detain us. Did you not get my
note? They say things are going wrong with Vernon's--that the bank----I
can't tell what it is, but you will understand. Harry said nothing could
be done till you came."
"Harry is a fool!" he said, bitterly. "Why didn't he take his share of
the work and understand matters? Is it my fault if it was all thrown
into my hands? Hester, you are my own love, but you are a fool too!
Don't you see? Can't you understand that this is the very reason? But
why should I try to explain at such a moment--or you ask me? Come, my
darling! Safety and happiness and everything we can wish lie beyond yon
railway. Let us get away."
"I am not going, Edward. Oh, how could you think it! I never meant to
go."
"Not going!" he laughed, and took her hands into his, with an
impatience, however, which made him restless, which might have made him
violent, "that is a pretty thing to tell me just when you have met me
for the purpose. I know you want to be persuaded. But come, come; I will
persuade you as much as you can desire when I get you safe into the
train."
"It is not persuasion I want. If it was right I would go if all the
world were against it. Edward, do you know what it looks like? It looks
like treachery--like deserting your post--like leading them into danger,
then leaving them in their ignorance to stumble out as they can."
"Well?" he said. "Is that all? If we get off with that we shall do very
well, Hester. I shouldn't wonder if they said harder things still."
"If the bank should--come to harm. I am a Vernon too. I can't bear it
should come to harm. If anything was to happen----"
"If it will abridge this discussion--which surely is ill-timed, Hester,
to say the least--I may admit at once that it is likely to come to harm.
I don't know how things are to be tided over this time. The bank's on
its last legs. We needn't make any mystery on the subject. What's that?"
It was a sound--of intolerable woe, indignation, and wrath from behind
the wall. Catherine was listening, with her hands clasped hard to keep
herself up. It was not a cry which would have betrayed her, but an
involuntary rustle or movement, a gasp, indistinguishable from so many
other utterances of the night.
"I suppose it was nothing," he added. "Hester, come; we can't stand here
like two--thieves, as you say, to be found out by anybody. There's that
villain Marshall, Catherine's spy, always on the outlook. He tells his
mistress everything. However, that does not matter much now. By
to-morrow, dear, neither you nor I need mind what they say. There will
be plenty said--we must make up our minds to that. I suppose you gave
your mother a hint----"
"My mother, a hint? Edward! how could I dare to say to her--What would
she think? but oh, that comes so long a way after! The first thing is,
you cannot go; Edward, you must not go, a man cannot be a traitor. It is
just the one thing--If all was plain sailing, well; but when things are
going badly-- Oh no, no, I will not hear you say so. You cannot desert
your post."
He took hold of her arm in the intensity of his vexation and rage.
"You are a fool," he said, hoarsely. "Hester! I love you all the same,
but you are a fool! Didn't I tell you at first I was risking everything.
Heavens, can't you understand! Desert my post! I have no post. It will
be better for them that I should be out of the way. I--must go--confound
it! Hester, for God's sake, haven't you made up your mind! Do you know
that every moment I stand here I am in danger? Come! come! I will tell
you everything on the way."
She gave a cry as if his pressure, the almost force he used to draw her
with him, had hurt her. She drew her hand out of his.
"I never thought it possible," she said, "I never thought it possible!
Oh, Edward! danger, what is danger? There's no danger but going wrong.
Stop: my love--yes, you are my love--there has never been any one
between us. If you have been foolish in your speculations, or whatever
they are, or even wrong--stay, Edward, stay, and put it right. Oh, stay,
and put it right! There can be no danger if you will stand up and say 'I
did it, I will put it right;' and I--if you care for me--I will stand by
you through everything. I will be your clerk; I will work for you night
and day. There is no trouble I will not save you, Edward. Oh, Edward,
for God's sake, think of Catherine, how good she has been to you; and it
will break her heart. Think of Vernon's, which we have all been so proud
of, which gives us our place in the country. Edward, think of--Won't you
listen to me? You will be a man dishonoured, they will call you--they
will think you--Edward!"
"All this comes finely from you," he cried, "beautifully from you! You
have a right to set up on the heights of honour, and as the champion of
Vernon's. You, John Vernon's daughter, the man that ruined the bank."
"The man that---- Oh, my God! Edward, what are you saying--my father! the
man----"
He laughed out--laughed aloud, forgetting precautions.
"Do you mean to say you did not know--the man that was such a fool, that
left it a ruin on Catherine's hands? You did not know why she hated you?
You are the only one in the place that does not. I have taken the
disease from him, through you; it must run in the blood. Come, come, you
drive me into heroics too. There is enough of this; but you've no honour
to stand upon, Hester; we are in the same box. Come along with me now."
Hester felt that she had been stricken to the heart. She drew away from
him till she got to the rough support of the wall, and leant upon it,
hiding her face, pressing her soft cheek against the roughness of the
brick. He drew her other arm into his, trying to lead her away; but she
resisted, putting her hand on him, and pushing him from her with all her
force.
"There is not another word to be said," she cried. "Go away, if you will
go; go away. I will never go with you! All that is over now."
"This is folly," he said. "Why did you come here if you had not made up
your mind? And if I tell you a piece of old news, a thing that everybody
knows, is that to make a breach between us? Hester! where are you going?
the other way--the other way!"
She was feeling her way along the wall to the gate. It was very dark,
and they were like shadows, small, vague, under the black canopy of the
tree. She kept him away with her outstretched arm which he felt rather
than saw.
"I never knew it--I never knew it," she said, with sobs. "I am going to
Catherine to ask her pardon on my knees."
"Hester, for God's sake don't be a fool-- To Catherine! You mean to send
out after me, to stop me, to betray me! but by----"
The oath never got uttered, whatever it was. Another figure, tall and
shadowy, appeared behind them in the opening of the gate. Edward gave
one startled look, then flung from him the hand of Hester which he had
grasped unawares, and hurried away towards the town, with the speed of a
ghost. He flung it with such force that the girl's relaxed and drooping
figured followed, and she fell before the third person, the new comer,
and lay across the gateway of the Grange, half stunned, not knowing at
whose feet she lay.
* * * * *
Edward hastened onward like a ghost speeding along the dark road. He was
miserable, but the greatest misery of all was to think that even now at
the last moment he might be brought back--he might be stopped upon the
edge of this freedom for which he longed. He wanted Hester, he wanted
happiness, and he had lost them--but there was still freedom. Had there
been only the risks of the crisis, the meeting of alarmed and anxious
creditors, the chance even of criminal prosecution, he might have faced
it; but to return again to that old routine, to take up his former life,
was impossible. He flew along like the wind. There was still an hour or
more before the train would start. Would the women gather themselves
together, he wondered, soon enough to send after him, to prevent his
journey? As much to avoid that risk as to occupy the time, which he did
not know what else to do with, he resolved to walk to the junction,
which was at a distance of two or three miles. So strange is the human
constitution, that even at this tragic and sombre moment he almost
enjoyed the dark night walk, though it was that of a fugitive; the
present is always so near us, so palpable, so much more apparent than
either the future or the past. He arrived at the junction just in time,
and jumped into the first carriage he could find in his hurry. He had no
luggage, having left everything in town--nothing but the small bag in
his hand, in which there were various things which he had meant to show
to Hester, to amuse her, distract her thoughts on the night journey, and
keep her from too many questions. Among these things was a special
licence, which he had procured that morning in town. He jumped into the
carriage without perceiving there was any one in it; and it annoyed him
to see, when he settled in the furthest corner, that there was a woman
in the other. But the light was low, and it could not be helped. Thus
shut up in close and silent company, two strangers, each wrapped in a
world of their own, they went swinging through the night, the lights of
the stations on the road gleaming past, while with a roar and rush they
ran through covering sheds and by empty platforms. After a while
Edward's attention was caught, in spite of himself, by a little measured
sob and sigh, which came at intervals from the other corner. The lady
was very quiet, but very methodical. She put back her veil; she took out
her handkerchief; she proceeded to dry her eyes in a serious
matter-of-fact way. Edward could not help watching these little
proceedings. A few minutes after, with a start, he perceived who his
companion was. Emma, going home at last, just as she came, no one having
spoken, nor any event occurred to change the current of her life. Her
little sniff, her carefully-wiped-off tears were for her failure, and
for the dulness of Kilburn, which she was about to return to. A sudden
idea struck Edward's mind. He changed his seat, came nearer to her, and
at last spoke.
"I am afraid, Miss Ashton, you don't like travelling by night," he said.
She gave a little start and cry. "Oh, is it you, Mr. Edward? I thought
when you came in, it must be somebody I knew. Oh, I am afraid you must
have seen me crying. I am very sorry to go away; everybody in Redborough
has been so kind to me, and there is always so much going on."
"But in London----" Edward began.
"Oh, that is what everybody says. There is always so much going on in
London. That just shows how little they know. Perhaps among the
fashionable sets. I don't know anything about that; but not in Kilburn.
It's partly like a little village, and partly like a great huge town.
You're not supposed to know the people next door; and then they are all
just nobody. The men come home to their dinner or their tea, and then
there is an end of them. When you are in the best set in a place it
makes such a difference. Roland is very kind, and I have nothing to
complain of, but I can't bear going back. That's what I was crying for:
not so much for having to leave, but for having to go back."
"You are tired of your life too, I suppose?"
"Oh, so I am! but it can't be helped. I must just go back to it, whether
I like it or not."
"Would you be glad of an alternative?" asked Edward. He spoke with a
sort of wanton recklessness, not caring what became of him.
"Oh!" said Emma, waiting upon providence, "that is a different thing;
perhaps it would be better not: I can't tell. Yes, I think I should, if
you ask me. Anything new would be a blessing; but where am I to look for
anything new? You see, Roland has his own engagements; you never can
interfere with a brother."
It took away her breath when Edward rose from the opposite side where he
was and came and sat beside her. "I am going away too," he said; "I want
change too. I can't bear the quiet any longer. I want to travel. Will
you come with me? We could be married to-morrow morning and start
immediately after----"
"Mr. Edward! good gracious!" cried Emma. It took away her breath. This
was coming to the point indeed. "Was this what you were thinking of when
you asked me to dance the Thursday before last? I never thought of such
a thing. I thought it was Hester. Goodness me, what would they all say?
Did you know I was coming to-night? Were you only pretending about
Hester? Were you struck with me from the beginning, or only just at the
last? I am sure I don't know what to say."
"Come with me, that is the best thing to do," Edward said.