CHAPTER VIII

"_One is assured that there is a Power that fights with us against the

confusion and evil of the world._"

The warm June sunlight lay over the broad lawns and meadows of Dondale;

it touched with luring power the buds to blossom and, by its tricks of

magic, girlhood to womanhood.

Only a month ago Joan and Nancy Thornton and those who, with them, were

about to leave Miss Phillips's school, had seemed little girls, but now

they were changed. There was a gravity when they looked back at the

safe, happy years that not even the glory of the future could dispel.

They were eager to go forward but were half afraid.

Joan and Nancy had left the others and walked across the lawn and were

sitting on a vine-covered wall under a noble magnolia tree. Nancy was

still sweetly fair and she had not outgrown the childish outline of

cheek and chin, the pretty droop of the left eyelid, and the quick habit

of smiling. She was tall and slim and graceful and bore herself with a

touching dignity that was as unconscious as it was distinguished.

Nature had not arrived yet with Joan. She was still in the making, and

the best that could be said for her was that she was undergoing the

ordeal with bewitching charm.

The dusky hair was filled with life and light; the eyes were

yellow-brown and dark-lashed; the skin was creamy and smooth and the

features irregular--eyes and mouth a bit prominent in the thin face.

Joan was thin, not slim. You were conscious of her bones--but they were

pretty bones, and every muscle of her lithe young body was as flexible

and strong as a boy's. She could change from awkwardness to grace by a

turn of thought. Joan was subject to outside control, while Nancy seemed

possessed by innate inheritance. Both girls were in white, and while

Nancy's appearance was immaculate, Joan's was suggestive of

indifference.

"It is wonderful--this going abroad," Joan was saying while her long,

supple fingers wove the stems of daisies into an intricate pattern. "And

to go to that little Italian town where mother was married! Nan, I'm

going to know all about mother and father this summer."

Nancy's head was lifted slightly, and her cool blue eyes fixed

themselves upon Joan. There was no doubt about the colour of Nancy's

eyes--they were blue.

"I do hope, Joan," she said, "that you are not going to spoil everything

by making Aunt Dorrie uncomfortable. If she has not told us things, it

is because she thinks best not to."

"But it's getting on my nerves, Nan. It's ominous. Maybe there is

a--a--tragedy in our young lives"--Joan dramatically set her words into

comedy--"a dark past. How I would adore that!"

"I would loathe it!" Nancy murmured, "and there couldn't be. I know

there is only a deep sadness. I wouldn't hurt Aunt Dorrie by--by

unearthing it."

"Nan," here Joan pointed her finger, "do you know a blessed thing about

your father? I don't!"

Nancy flushed, but made no reply.

"There's where the secret lies--I feel it in my blood!" Joan shuddered

and Nancy laughed. "It didn't seem to matter until _now_, but, Nan,

we're women at last!"

"Of course," Nancy spoke, "I have thought of that. The best families

have such things in them--but they don't talk about them. Now that we

are women we must act like women--such women as Aunt Dorrie."

"Nan, you're a snob. A pitiful, beautiful little snob!" Joan wafted a

kiss. "Your prettiness saves you. If you had a turned-up nose you'd be

an abomination."

"You have no right to call me a snob, Joan!" Nancy's fair face flushed.

"Did I call you a snob, Nan, dear?"

"Yes, you did. It's not being a snob to be true to oneself." Nancy put

up her defences.

"I should say not," Joan agreed, but she laughed.

"Just think of all that Aunt Dorrie represents!" Nancy went on. "She's

all that her father and her grandfather----"

"And her grandmothers," Joan broke in, "made her! Just think of it! And

you and I must carry on the tradition--at least _you_ must--I'm afraid

I'll have to be a quitter. It makes me too hot."

"You'll never be a quitter, you splendid Joan!" Nancy turned her face to

Joan---- the old love had grown with the years, "You _are_ splendid,

Joan--everyone adores you."

But Joan did not seem to hear. Suddenly she said:

"Now do you know, Nan, I hate to go across the ocean this summer. It

seems such a waste of time. I am eager to begin."

"Begin what, Joan?"

"Begin to live."

"You funny Joan, what have you been doing since you were born?"

"Waking up, Nan, and stretching and learning to stand alone. I'm ready

now to--to walk. I dare say I'll wobble, but--I don't care--I want to

begin."

A sense of danger filled Nancy--she often felt afraid of Joan, or _for_

Joan, she was not sure which it was.

"I think you'll do nothing that will trouble and disappoint Aunt

Dorrie," she said, using the weapon of the weak.

"I think Aunt Dorrie would want me to--to live my life," Joan returned.

"Oh! of course, she'd let you--go. That's Aunt Dorrie's idea of justice.

But we have no right to impose on it. People may be willing to suffer,

but that's no excuse for making them suffer." Nancy did battle with the

fear that was in her--her fear that Joan might escape her, and now, as

in the old days, Nancy felt that play lost its keen zest when Joan

withdrew.

Joan made no reply. She looked very young with the sunlight flooding

over her. Her eyes wide apart, her short upper lip and firm, little

round chin were almost childlike when in repose, and her heavy hair rose

and fell in charming curves as the breeze stirred it.

"Joan, what do you want to do, really?" Nancy dropped from her perch

beside Joan and came close, leaning against the swinging feet as if to

stay their restlessness.

"Oh! I don't know--but something real; something like a beginning, not

just a carrying on. I want to dig out of me what is in me

and--and--offer it for sale!" Joan leaned back perilously and laughed at

her own folly and Nancy's shocked face.

"Of course, I may not have anything anybody wants," she went on, "but

I'll never be able to settle down and be comfy until I _know_. Having a

rich somebody behind you is--is--the limit!" she flung out, defiantly.

"I don't know what you mean, Joan." Nancy was aghast. The fear within

her was taking shape; it was like a shrouded figure looming up ready to

cast off its disguise.

"Of course you don't, you blessed little snow-child!"--the laugh struck

rudely on Nancy's discomfort--"why should you; why should any one in

this--this factory where we've all been cut in the same shape? We're all

going to be let out of here to--to be married! They've never taken me

in."

"Oh, Joan!" Nancy looked about nervously. Of course every girl had this

ideal in her brain, but she was not supposed to express it--except

vicariously in the charm-lure.

"It's all right, this marrying," Joan went calmly on. "I want to myself,

some day, it's splendid and all that--but something in me wants to fly

about alone first."

"You're silly, Joan."

"I suppose I am, snow-child. I suppose I'll get frightfully snubbed some

day and come back glad enough to trot along with the rest--but oh! it

must be sublime to have the chance a boy has. He can have

everything--even the try if he _is_ rich--and then he knows what he's

worth. Why, Nancy, I am going to say something awful now--so hold close.

I want to know what my dancing is worth, and my singing, and my making

believe. I feel so powerful sometimes and then again--I am weak as--as a

shadow!"

"Oh! Joan do be careful--you'll fall over the wall."

Nancy flung her arms about Joan, who had tilted backward as she

portrayed her state of weakness.

"You frighten me, Joan, and besides you have no right to disappoint Aunt

Dorrie, and if she should hear you talk she'd be shocked!"

"I wonder," mused Joan, "she is so understanding. I wonder. But come,

Nan, dear, I must go practise the thing I'm to sing at Commencement, and

I have a perfectly new idea for a dance on Class Day."

David Martin and Doris were never to forget the impression Joan made on

the two occasions when she stood forth alone, during the Commencement

week, like a startling and unique figure, with the background of lovely

young girlhood. No one resented her conspicuousness. All gloried in it.

They clapped and cheered her on--she was their Joan, the idol of the

years which she had made vital and electric by her personality.

She danced on Class Day a wonderful dance that she had originated

herself.

Nancy played her accompaniment, keeping her fascinated gaze upon Joan

while her fingers touched the keys in accord with every movement.

Lightly, bewilderingly, the gauzy, green-robed figure was wafted here,

there, everywhere, under the broad elms, apparently on Nancy's tune. She

was a leaf, a petal of a flower, a creature born of light and air.

People forgot they were performing a stilted duty at a school

function--they were frankly delighted and appreciative. Joan rose to the

homage and, at such moments, she was beautiful with a beauty that did

not depend upon feature or colouring.

But it was when she sang on Commencement Day that she achieved her

triumph.

Martin was watching Doris closely. She had had no return of her March

illness; she never spoke of it, nor did he, but for that very reason

Martin kept a more rigid guard upon any excitement. There was that in

Doris's face which, to his trained eye, was significant. It was as if

she had been touched by a passing frost. She had not withered, but she

was changed. The time of blight might be soon or distant, but the frost

had fallen on the woman's life.

It was when Joan had finished her song that Martin took Doris from the

hall.

It happened this way:

The flower-banked platform was empty until the accompanist--it was a

young professor, this time, not Nancy--came on.

The audience waited politely; the rows of girlish faces were turned

expectantly, and then Joan entered!

Without a trace of self-consciousness she looked at her friends--they

were all her friends--with that sweet confidence and understanding of

the true artist. The dainty loose gown covered any angle that might have

proved unlovely, and Joan was at one of her rarely beautiful moments.

She stood at ease while the first notes were played--she appeared

suddenly detached, and then she sang.

It was an old English ballad, quaint and rollicking:

"I'll sail upon the Dog-star,

I'll sail upon the Dog-star,

And then pursue the morning

And then pursue, and then pursue the morning.

"I'll chase the moon, till it be noon,

I'll chase the moon, till it be noon,

But I'll make her leave her horning.

"I'll climb the frosty mountain,

I'll climb the frosty mountain,

And there I'll coin the weather.

"I'll tear the rainbow from the sky

And tie both ends together."

The ringing girlish voice rose high and true and clear.

"Bravo!" cried a man's voice and then:

"And she'll do it, too!"

It was at this point that Martin took Doris from the room.

In the quiet of the deserted piazza Doris looked up at Martin through

tears.

"Joan is feeling her oats." Martin walked to and fro; he had been more

moved by the song than he cared to confess.

"The darling!" Doris whispered. Then: "Can't you see what Miss Phillips

meant, Davey? The child is talented--she shall never be held back.

Wealth can be as cruel and crippling as poverty. Be prepared, David, I

mean to let Joan--free."

Martin came close and sat down.

"Go easy, Doris," he cautioned, then asked: "And how about Nancy?"

"David, I'm going to tell Nancy, after we come home from Europe--not

all, of course, but enough to make her understand--about me! I cannot

quite explain, but I am sure I am right in my decision. Nancy, indeed

all of us, will, sooner or later, have to let Joan go! I saw that

clearly as she sang. I must fill Nancy's life and she must make up to me

what I am about to lose. David, is this what mothers feel?"

"Some of them, Doris. The best of them. I'm glad to see you game."

"Oh! yes. I'm glad, too--for Joan's sake. I will be giving Nancy her

best and surest happiness--with me, but not Joan. And so, David, Joan

must not have the slightest inkling--she must go, when her time comes,

unhampered. You, Nancy, and I must contribute that to her future."

Martin saw that Doris was still trembling, she was excited, too, in her

controlled way. He was anxious.

"You're seeing things in broad daylight, Doris. Why, my dear, both the

girls will be snapped up before any of us catch our breaths. That is

what Miss Phillips' is for. Training for fine American wives and

mothers. A good job, too."

Doris smiled and shook her head. Then she said suddenly:

"David, the old spectre stalks! It seems as if I ought to know, as if

the knowledge were right here, to-day."

"Come, come, now Doris! If you do not quiet down I'm going to pack you

off to the hotel. Why, see here, the kids have not revealed themselves.

You're lashing yourself about nothing. Can you not reason it out this

way----"

Martin sat close to the couch upon which Doris half reclined; he was

almost praying that Joan would have a dozen encores--by request,

apparently, she was again chasing the rainbow on her Dog-star.

"The inheritance, I mean. For I see it is that that is clutching you. My

work brings me close to primitive things--I believe in inheritance down

to the roots--but by heaven, we inherit from the ages, not from our next

of kin alone. Each son and daughter of us comes into port with load

enough to crush us, and if we kept it all we'd go under. We shuffle off

a lot. It is the ability to shuffle, the opportunity to shuffle that

counts. Why, look here, Doris----"

And Doris was looking, holding with all her strength to the man's words.

"That little mountain woman had more daring and courage, according to

what you told me, than poor Merry ever had. She cut a wider circle, got

more out of life, I bet, went out of it more satisfied. Her child, with

your help, could develop into something mighty worth while for she

wouldn't have so much to overcome at the start. On the other hand,

Meredith's child would have to blaze her own trail, as far as any

guidance from her mother is concerned. Can't you see, that's where

inheritance plays the devil with hasty conclusions?"

Doris drew a long breath and sat up. She was seeking to hold to what she

could not see.

"David," she whispered, "is it the knowing, or the not knowing? Could I

have helped more wisely had I not shirked the truth? In there, a moment

ago, it was as if Meredith were demanding. Oh! youth is awful in its

possibilities of success or failure."

Martin was seriously alarmed. He had never seen Doris so shaken, but he

talked on, seeking by a show of calmness to disarm her fears.

"It's the ability to shuffle off inheritance that counts, Doris. You

have given these girls the strength and opportunity--to shuffle. Now, my

dear, be sensible. It is up to the girls and they're all right. Hold

firm to your own belief, Doris. It's about to be proved."

"Hear them." Doris dropped back. "They are still applauding Joan."

The next few months Doris always looked back upon as a connecting

stretch of road between what she had but faintly feared and what became

assured.

From the day Joan graduated she became the dominant influence in what

followed, and Nancy, being non-resistant, was engulfed in the general

rush of affairs; was absorbed and smilingly played her part as once she

had played Joan's accompaniment.

Joan was not more selfish than the young generally are; she had hours of

noble self-renunciation and generosity. Her ego was well developed, but

it never drove her cruelly.

Doris justified what happened, when she took time to consider, by her

determination to be fair to both girls and then, unconsciously focussing

on Joan because Joan was always in evidence. The girl's vitality and

joyousness were unfailing. Everything was of interest, and she seemed to

gather the flowers of life not so much for her own enjoyment as for the

glory of shedding them on others. That is what disarmed people--this

lavishness of the girl. She gave spice to life, and that has its value.

If Nancy ever knew the natural desire to shine in her own light, not

Joan's, she smilingly hid it--not even Doris suspected it.

After Nancy was made to understand her aunt's state of health--and it

was, in the end, Martin who informed her--she rose superbly to what

offered, poor child, an opportunity peculiarly her own. To her was given

the sacred duty of watching the one she loved best in the world; of

warding off anything that threatened her peace and comfort. Here were

power and authority and, though no one suspected, she would rule in her

narrow, detached kingdom. Nothing should defeat her. They should all

look to her!

Almost fiercely Nancy undertook her silent task. She smiled, she learned

new subtleties; she soon became the pretty barrier between Doris and any

troubling thing.

With her half-afraid glance fixed upon the dazzling Joan, it was small

wonder that Doris fell into the trap set for her by Martin and Nancy.

She took the girls abroad--or was it Joan that led the way? She

considered, after reaching the little Italian town from which she had

seen Meredith depart, how best to speak of Thornton. She got so far as

the telling of Meredith's wedding in the unchanged chapel on the hill

when Joan startled her by asking quite as a matter of course:

"Is our father still alive?"

Nancy turned pale and shrank before the question, but she saw that the

cool tone had controlled the situation. Doris looked relieved instead of

shocked.

"We've often talked of it, Nan and I," Joan proceeded; "it did not seem

very vital one way or the other until now."

"As far as I know," Doris was surprised at her own calmness, "he is

still alive."

"I'm glad of that," Joan remarked, and there was a glint in her eyes.

"I'd hate to have him dead--just now."

Quite without reason Doris laughed. After all, what she had conjured up

as a ghost was turning into a human possibility. It was never to

frighten her in the future. Joan had felled the spectre by her first

stroke.

Then Nancy spoke:

"I never want to hear his name again," she said, firmly, relentlessly.

Doris looked at her in amazement. Later she confided to Joan her

surprise.

"I did not know the child had such sternness."

Joan shrugged her shoulders and smiled.

"Nan is like a rock underneath, Aunt Dorrie," she said. "I suppose it

is--what shall I say?--blood! It is concentrated in Nan. She's like

you. Disgrace, or what seemed like disgrace, would kill her--it would

make me fight!"

And after that conversation all inclination to confide further in the

girls as to their relationship or lack of it deserted Doris.

She saw a new cause for caution and went back to the stand she had taken

when the children were babies--but with far less courage.

"When they marry, of course, it must be told."

Doris returned to New York in September, and after a fortnight in which

she closed the old house and made arrangements for the servants, she was

so exhausted that she gladly turned her face southward.

Nancy, already, was her mainstay. The girl had apparently got under the

burden, and held it secure on her firm, young shoulders. She developed

initiative and the healing touch. No one disputed her where Doris was

concerned, and Martin grimly accepted her as the most necessary thing in

the hope that lay in Ridge House.

Their appearance there was marked by two incidents that Doris alone

heeded.

First was the effect Nancy had upon Jed.

The man stared at the girl as if he saw a ghost. Like the very old, his

real sensations lay in the past. Nancy stirred him strangely. The

emotion was like a warm ray of sunlight striking in a dark place. Doris

watched him with interest and concern; but Jed had no words with which

to enlighten her. He only smiled wider, more often, and took to

following Nancy like a wavering, distorted shadow.

The second incident was Mary.

From her cabin across the river she had manipulated the arrangements at

Ridge House so perfectly that the machinery was oiled and running when

the family arrived.

Mary was more reserved, more self-contained than she had ever been, but

again, as Martin said to Doris, she must be judged by what she did, not

by what she suggested, and she had accomplished marvels not only at the

old place, but in her cabin across The Gap. In her once-deserted home

Mary had contrived to resurrect all the ideals that had perished with

her forebears. The rooms shone and glittered; the garden throve; and

Mary spun and wove and designed and made money. She was respected,

feared, and secretly believed to be "low-down mean," but calmly she went

her way.

What she knew lay buried in her stern reserve, and she saw a great deal.

She saw at once what had occurred since she left her years of service.

Mary no longer served--she ruled.

She saw that Joan, as she had given promise of doing, was controlling

the forces of her small world. Doing it as once she had done it in the

nursery, with a radiant witchery that had gained its ends with all but

Mary herself!

While Mary's eyelids drew together, she focussed through the narrow

slits upon Joan and with a hot, deep resolve she took up cudgels for

Nancy.

And she bided her time.

Back and forth from her cabin to the big house she walked daily, and to

Mary's cabin Nancy, presently, went--for comfort and inspiration, though

she did not realize it.

Often, unknown to others, the two would sit near the fire, making a

vivid picture. Mary in her plaid cotton gown, bent over her folded arms,

swaying to and fro, making few comments but conscious of being

understood. Nancy, fair and lovely, speaking more openly to the plain,

silent woman near her than she had ever spoken to any earthly being and

feeling, under her sweet unconsciousness, the underlying confidence.

"Of course," she once whispered to Mary, "I would love all the things

that Joan loves and wants, but my duty to Aunt Dorrie is bigger than

they, Mary. I am sure if Joan saw things as I do, she would act as I am

acting. But we are keeping Joan from knowing."

"Why?" The sharp word startled Nancy--was Mary disapproving?

"Aunt Dorrie and Uncle David think best, Mary."

Mary touched upon the hidden hardness in Nancy's softness and

retreated.

And during that red-and-gold autumn, their first in The Gap, Doris was

soothed strangely to a state of perfect relaxation--a state not pleasing

to Joan, and rather puzzling to David Martin, who postponed a proposed

trip to the West until he felt sure of Doris's health. It seemed that,

having dropped the old life, Doris was not merely willing to step into a

new one--she was drifting in. Without resistance she floated. She would

lie for a whole afternoon on the porch watching the play of colour on

The Rock. She smiled, recalling, rather vaguely to be sure, the

superstitions concerning The Rock.

It was all delightfully restful and beautiful and not a care in the

world!

Mary and Nancy saw to every detail. Joan was frankly interested in every

phase of the experience. "It might be," mused Doris from her pillows,

"that having left everything to that Power that does control, I am to

have my heart's deep desire--keep both Joan and Nancy!"

The Shield of Silence · 第 8 / 25 章