At the Hôtel Magnifique.
To a reflective mind nothing is more curious than the way one thing
leads to another. A little experience of this tendency soon cured me of
refusing to go anywhere I was asked, merely because the prospects of
amusement were not very obvious. I always went--taking credit of course
for much amiability--and I often received my reward in an unexpected
development of something new or an interesting revival of a former
episode. It happened, a few months after my adventure at Heidelberg,
that my brother's wife, Jane Jason, asked me, as a favor to herself, to
take a stall at the theater where a certain actress was, after a long
and successful career in the provinces, introducing herself to a London
audience. Jane is possessed by the idea that she has a keen nose for
dramatic talent, and she assured me that her _protégée_ was a wonder. I
dare say the woman had some talent, but she was an ugly, gaunt creature
of forty, and did not shine in _Juliet_. At the end of the second act
I was bored to death, and was pondering whether I knew enough of the
play to slip out without Jane being likely to discover my desertion by
cross-examination, when my eye happened to fall on the stage-box in the
first tier. In the center seat sat a fair, rather stout man, with the
very weariest expression that I ever saw on human face. He was such
an unsurpassed impersonation of boredom that I could not help staring
at him; I could do so without rudeness, as his eyes were fixed on the
chandelier in the roof of the house. I looked my fill, and was about to
turn away, and go out for a cigarette, when somebody spoke to me in a
low voice, the tones of which seemed familiar.
"Ah, impostor, here you are!"
It was Dumergue, smiling quietly at me. I greeted him with surprise and
pleasure.
"How is the baron?" I asked.
"He cheated the--grave," answered Dumergue.
"And the countess?"
"Hush! I have a message for you."
"From her?" I inquired, not, I fear, without eagerness.
"No," he replied, "from the prince. He desires that you should be
presented to him."
"Who is he?"
"I forgot. Prince Ferdinand of Glottenberg."
"Indeed! He's in London, then?"
"Yes, in that box," and he pointed to the bored man, and added:
"Come along; he hates being kept waiting."
"He looks as if he hated most things," I remarked.
"Well, most things are detestable," said Dumergue, leading the way.
The prince rose and greeted me with fatigued graciousness.
"I am very much indebted to you, Mr. Jason," he said, "for----"
I began to stammer an apology for my intrusion into his affairs.
"For," he resumed, without noticing what I said, "a moment's
bewilderment. I quite enjoyed it."
I bowed, and he continued.
"The only things I cling to in life, Mr. Jason, are a quiet time at home
and my income. You have been very discreet. If you hadn't, I might have
lost those two things. I am very much obliged. Will you give me the
pleasure of your company at supper? Dumergue, the princess will be
delighted to see Mr. Jason?"
"Yes, sir, Her Royal Highness will be delighted," answered Dumergue.
"Where was the princess going?" asked the prince.
"To a meeting of the Women's International Society for the Promotion of
Morality, at the Mansion House, sir."
"_Mon Dieu!_" said the prince.
"His Majesty is much interested in the society, sir."
"I am sure my brother would be. Come along, Mr. Jason."
The prince and princess were staying at the Hôtel Magnifique in
Northumberland Avenue. We drove thither, and were told that the princess
had returned. Upon further inquiry, made by Dumergue, it appeared that
it would be agreeable to her to sup with the prince and to receive Mr.
Jason. So we went into the dining room and found her seated by the fire.
After greeting me, she said to the prince:
"I have just written a long account of our meeting to the king. He will
be so interested."
She was a small woman, with a gentle manner and a low, sweet voice.
She looked like an amiable and intelligent girl of eighteen, and had a
pretty, timid air, which made me wish to assure her of my respectful
protection.
"My brother," said the prince, "is a man of catholic tastes."
"It is necessary in a king, sir," suggested Dumergue.
The prince did not answer him, but offered his arm to his wife, to
escort her to the table. She motioned me to sit on her right hand,
and began to prattle gently to me about the court of Glottenberg. The
prince put in a word here and there, and Dumergue laughed appreciatively
whenever the princess' descriptions were neat and appropriate--at least,
so I interpreted his delicate flattery.
I enjoyed myself very much. The princess was evidently, to judge from
her conversation, a little Puritan, and I always love a pretty Puritan.
That rogue Dumergue agreed with all her views, and the prince allowed
his silence to pass for assent.
"We do try at court," she ended by saying, "to set an example to
society; and, as the king is unmarried, of course I have to do a great
deal."
At this moment, a servant entered, bearing a card on a salver. He
approached the princess.
"A gentleman desires the honor of an audience with Her Royal Highness,"
he announced.
"At this time of night!" exclaimed the princess.
"He says his business will not bear delay, and prays for a interview."
"All business will bear delay," said the prince, "and generally be the
better for it. Who is he?"
"The Baron de Barbot."
"Oh, I must see him," cried the princess. "Why, he is a dear friend of
ours."
I had detected a rapid glance pass between Dumergue and the prince. The
latter then answered:
"Yes, we must see Barbot. If you will go to the drawing room, I'll take
your message myself."
"That is kind of you," said the princess, retiring.
"Give me the card," said the prince, "and ask the baron to be kind
enough to wait a few minutes."
The servant went out, and the prince turned to me.
"Why didn't you kill him, Mr. Jason?" he asked.
"Is it----" I began.
"Yes, it's your baron," said Dumergue.
"It's really a little awkward," said the prince, as though gently
remonstrating with fate. "We had arranged it all so pleasantly."
"It would upset the princess," said Dumergue.
"What upsets the princess upsets me," said the prince. "I am a devoted
husband, Mr. Jason."
"If there is anything I can do, sir," said I, "rely on me."
"You overwhelm me," said the prince. "Is there anything, Dumergue?"
"Why, yes, sir. Mr. Jason was at the ball. Why should he have fought, if
he wasn't?"
"You are right, Dumergue. Mr. Jason, you were at the ball."
"But, sir, I--I don't know anything about the ball."
"It was just like other balls--other _masked_ balls," said Dumergue.
"Perhaps a little more so," added the prince, lighting a cigarette.
"There was a scandal at the last one," Dumergue continued, "and the king
strictly forbade anyone connected with the court to go, under pain of
his severe displeasure. There had been a rumor that a royal prince was
at the one before, and consequently----"
"That royal prince was specially commanded not to go to this one," said
the prince.
"It was bad enough," resumed Dumergue, "that it should be discovered
that the princess' favorite lady-in-waiting, the Countess von
Hohstein----"
"Who bore such a high character," interjected the prince.
"Did go, and, moreover, went under the escort of an unknown gentleman--a
gentleman whose name she refused to give."
"Was that discovered?" said I.
"It was. This baron detected her, and, with a view, as we have reason
to believe, to compelling her companion to declare himself, publicly
insulted her."
"Whereupon," said the prince, "you very properly knocked him down, Mr.
Jason."
"I beg your pardon, sir?"
"The princess," continued Dumergue, "was terribly agitated and annoyed
at the scandal and the duel which followed. And of course the countess
left the court, and returned to England."
"To England?"
"Yes; she was a Miss Mason. The king ennobled her at the princess'
request."
I smiled and said:
"And now there is a question about who her escort was?"
"There is," said Dumergue. "It is believed that the baron entertains an
extraordinary idea that the gentleman in question was no other than----"
"Myself," said the prince, throwing away his cigarette.
I remembered the baron's strange questions before the duel.
"Dispose of me as you please, sir," said I.
"Then you were at the ball, and knocked the baron down!" exclaimed
Dumergue.
"A thousand thanks," said the prince.
"But what are we to do with him now, sir?" asked Dumergue. "The princess
will be expecting him."
"I will go and tell the princess of Mr. Jason's confession. You go with
Mr. Jason, and tell the baron that the princess cannot receive him. I
want him to see Mr. Jason."
"But, sir," said I, "I didn't fight under my own name."
The prince was already gone, and Dumergue was halfway down the stairs. I
followed the latter.
We found the baron in the smoking room, taking a cup of coffee. A couple
of men sat talking on a settee near him; otherwise the room was empty.
Dumergue went up to the baron, I following a step or two behind him. The
baron rose and bowed coldly.
"I am charged," said Dumergue, "to express His Royal Highness' regrets
that Her Royal Highness cannot have the pleasure of receiving you. She
has retired to her apartments."
"The servant told me she was at supper."
"He was misinformed."
"I'm not to be put off like that. I'll have a refusal from the princess
herself."
"I will inform His Royal Highness."
The baron was about to answer, when he caught sight of me.
"Ah, there's the jackal!" he said, with a sneer.
I stepped forward.
"Do you refer to me?" I asked.
"Unless I am wrong in recognizing my former antagonist, Colonel
Despard."
This was just what I had anticipated. Dumergue did not seem surprised
either.
"Of course it is Colonel Despard," he said. "You would not be likely to
forget him, baron."
We had been speaking in a low tone, but at Dumergue's sneer, the baron
lost his temper. Raising his voice, he said, almost in a shout:
"Then I tell Colonel Despard that he is a mean hound."
If I assumed the colonel's name, I felt I must at least defend it from
imputations. I began:
"Once before, baron, I chastised----"
I was interrupted. One of the men on the settee interposed, rising as he
spoke.
"I beg pardon, gentlemen, but is it Colonel Despard of the Hussars to
whom you refer?"
"Yes," said the baron.
"Then that gentleman is not Colonel Despard," announced our new friend.
"I am Colonel Despard's brother-in-law."
For a moment I was at a loss; things were falling out so very
unfortunately. Dumergue turned on the stranger fiercely:
"Pray, sir, was your interposition solicited?"
"Certainly not. But if this gentleman says he is Colonel Despard, I take
leave to contradict him."
"I should advise you to do nothing of the sort," said I. "M. Dumergue
knows me very well."
"This person," said the baron, "passed himself off as Colonel Despard,
and, by that pretext, obtained from me the honor of a duel with me. It
appears that he is a mere impostor."
The other man on the settee called out cheerfully, "Bob, send for the
police!"
Dumergue looked rather sheepish; his invention failed him.
"Do either or both of these gentlemen," said I, indicating the baron and
the colonel's brother-in-law, "call me an impostor?"
"I do," said the baron, with a sneering laugh.
"I am compelled to assert it," said the other, with a bow.
I had edged near the little table, on which the baron's coffee had been
served. I now took up the coffee-pot and milk-jug. The coffee I threw
in the baron's face, and the milk in that of his ally. Both men sprang
forward with an oath. At the same moment, the electric light went out,
and I was violently pulled back toward the door, and someone whispered,
"Vanish as quick as you can. Go home--go anywhere."
"All right, sir," said I, for I recognized the prince's voice. "But what
are they doing?"
"Never mind; be off." And the prince handed me a hat.
I walked quickly to the door, and hailed a hansom. As I drove off, I
saw the prince skip upstairs, and a _posse_ of waiters rush toward the
smoking room. I went home to bed.
The next morning, as I was breakfasting, my man told me two gentlemen
were below, and wished to see me. I told him to show them up, and the
prince and Dumergue came in, the former wrapped up in a fur coat, with
a collar that hid most of his face.
"The prince would like some brandy in a little soda water," said
Dumergue.
I administered the cordial. The prince drank it, and then turned to me.
"Did you get home all right?" he asked.
"Perfectly, sir."
"After you took leave of us, we had an explanation. Mr. Wetherington--it
was Mr. Wetherington at whom you threw the milk--was very reasonable. I
explained the whole matter, and he said he was sure his brother-in-law
would pardon the liberty."
"I'm afraid I took rather a liberty with him."
"Oh," said Dumergue, "we made him believe the milk was meant for
the baron, as well as the coffee. I said we took it _au lait_ at
Glottenberg."
"It's lucky I thought of turning out the light," said the prince. "I was
looking on, and it seemed about time."
"What did the hotel people say, sir?"
"They are going to sue the electric company," said the prince, with a
slight smile. "It seems there is a penalty if the light doesn't work
properly."
"And the baron, sir?"
"We kicked the baron out as a blackmailer," said Dumergue. "He is going
to bring an action."
"I return to Glottenberg to-day," concluded the prince; "accompanied by
the princess and M. Dumergue."
I thought this course very prudent, and said so. "But," I added, "I
shall be called as a witness."
"No; Colonel Despard will."
"Well, then----"
"He will establish an _alibi_. _Voilà tout!_"
"I am glad it all ends so happily, sir."
"Well, there is one matter," said the prince. "I had to tell the
princess of your indiscretion in taking Mme. Vooght----"
"Who, sir?"
"Mr. Jason," put in Dumergue, "has not heard that the countess and
Vooght are married."
"Yes," said the prince, "they are married, and will settle in America.
Vooght is a loss; but we can't have everything in this world."
"I hope Herr Vooght will be happy," said I.
"I should think it very unlikely," said the prince. "But, to return. The
princess is very angry with you. She insists----"
"That I should never be presented to her again?"
"On the contrary; that you should come and apologize in person. Only on
condition of bringing you again could I make my peace for bringing you
once."
I was very much surprised, but of course I said I was at the princess'
commands.
"You don't mind meeting us in Paris? We stay there a few days," said
Dumergue.
"You see," added the prince, "Dumergue says there are things called
writs, and----"
"I will be in Paris to-morrow, sir."
"I shall be there to-day," said the prince, rising.