"NEW YORK, _July 15, 1839_.
"MY DEAR HETTY,--Why don't you answer my letter? If the ring does not
suit send it and I can easily change it; if it does, send it that I may
have your name put in it--unless, indeed, you conclude to come with Pa,
which I much wish you would, and, since you are not in school, I see
nothing to prevent....
"I am uncomfortably situated in many respects. I perfectly abhor this
mode of life. The social slavery of the family to any scapegrace, man
or woman, the latter worse, who may choose to sojourn here is really
intolerable. And the whole routine of such an upon-the-town life is
opposed to every good habit and in favor of every bad habit. I did hope
that when one family left, the burden would be lightened; but it has
proved to be only a change of riders. These and other petty annoyances
vex me more than they used to; perhaps my temper is at fault; but I
assure you they are numerous. And it is unpleasant to me, as you can
well understand, to see a disease so full of terror fastening itself
gradually but surely upon J.; to see not one thing in the circumstances
to which she is subjected that gives the least hope of counteraction;
and to feel myself without power, in the slavish routine of the
house, to remedy or prevent. I do not often speak of troubles when I
have them, and would do so now only to you; so you must preserve my
confidence.[1]
"As to myself, it is only the condition of things at home that
prevents me, if I could make the necessary arrangements, from going
abroad. It is the only thing to which I look with any confidence or
much hope to act upon my own constitution; and would separate me from
circumstances not calculated to lessen the weight of an inevitable
misfortune to which I have been long subject.
"I think that if you are able to come now, your visit will be more
pleasant than last year.
"Write to me.
"Aff. y'rs,
"S. J. TILDEN."