I was alone again. I sought company in my books. They were friends whom
I could trust, and would not leave or betray me. I also busied myself in
my garden, and in looking after my property. I often went to my
villages. There was nothing that gave me so much satisfaction as to see
the happiness and prosperity of those people. They were not all good, or
without faults by any means, but what people are? I had found more
sinners than saints among the upper class of society, so why should I
expect anything more from these ignorant villagers? I say upper class. I
don’t know why, except it is the fashion, good form, or something of
that style. They may be upper, that is, ahead in shameless dishonesty,
in gilded fashion, deceptive force, in skillful lying, willful seduction
and foul unchastity. If that is the meaning of the term, I accept it,
but the real genuine upper class of the world is what are called the
common people.
I doubt if anywhere on the globe the same number of people could have
been found making up a community, as in my villages, who were more
industrious, honest, truthful, grateful and virtuous than were these
people. They were not allured by ambition to be something above their
lot. They had not learned anything of the follies, fashions, intrigues,
deceptions, seductions and vices of the civilized Christian world. Their
natures had never been distorted and deformed by coming in contact with
civilized society.
I often doubt if so much education and knowledge is not more of a curse
than a blessing. Eve got to knowing too much, and Adam followed her, and
their knowledge has made liars and seducers for us ever since.
I doubt, no I know it, that it would have been utterly impossible for
any leading man in either of the villages to have conceived, planned,
and accomplished such a villainous crime as that of the distinguished
Christian Commissioner Sahib. They could not, and would not have done
it, for their high moral, or high animal sense, if you like it better,
would have revolted at it. The highest sense of chastity is in brutes,
and the very lowest in the upper classes of human society. I am a liar
if this is not true. But what is the use of talking?
I sometimes went to the club, as I did not like to exclude myself from
all mankind. There were many newcomers, who looked askance at me. To
some of them I was introduced, and they proved to be very pleasant and
agreeable companions, for though I have had my grievances, and may be a
little cynical at times, yet I would not have it understood, that I
think all people are bad, or that there may not be some people, even of
the “upper classes,” and in every grade of society who are good and
trying to do good. Yet, I was not comfortable. The general company was
not to my taste. The conversation was usually horsey or vicious among
the men, or made up of gossip and slander among the women. Frequently on
going home, I tried to recall some idea, some information that I had
acquired, but there was absolutely nothing worth carrying home.
One evening, as I approached a company, I was introduced to several, but
one quickly and deliberately turned his back upon me. A friend told me
later on, that he was one of the new magistrates, who had just come to
the station, and that he gave as his reason for snubbing me, that he had
a preference in his acquaintance, and did not care to know that
“Eurasian.” I recalled him as the downy youth, who had made a similar
remark when I was at the engineering college, and further that he was a
son of the Commissioner of Jalalpur. Worthy scion of a noble sire!
I concluded that the game was not worth the candle, so I paid up all my
dues and withdrew from the club, for my own good, and probably to the
satisfaction of Mr. Smith and others.
Mr. Jasper frequently called. His conversation always set me to
thinking. This is a good sign of conversation, as well as of a book. In
my experience the best books are those which lie open in my hand, while
my thoughts are pursuing some ideas suggested by something just read.
The only real use of books is to make a man think for himself. Reading
that does not set the mind to work, not only wastes the time but weakens
the faculty for thought.
If a book will not set one thinking for himself, it is not worth
shelf-room. The same with men. One might be with some a week or month,
and all they have to give is talk, mere words, while they are enamored
by their own verbosity. I also dislike a man who always agrees with me,
and never goes beyond my depth. Mr. Jasper was always climbing, reaching
out for something higher than himself, and exciting one to go with him.
One morning I abruptly asked him, “Do you believe in God?” I cannot tell
why I asked the question, as we cannot always give a reason for our
doings.
He exclaimed, “Why do you ask such a question? Believe in God! How can I
help it? How can any thinking being do otherwise? I see, you have got
the impression from something I have said, that because I do not believe
everything in the Bible, the church, the creeds, as some do, I must be
an atheist. It is so easy for some to use that epithet against any one
who is not willing to swallow everything that people wish to force down
his throat. Some one has said, I forget who, that ‘if some mortal steps
on the world’s platform and announces a few salient truths which do not
conform to the stereotyped systems of the religious community, he is
overwhelmed with hisses and objurgations, denounced as a heretic or
ostracized as an agnostic or an infidel.’
“I am profoundly a theist. I can say, with Voltaire, that if there is
not a God it would be necessary to invent one. He was also very orthodox
in his belief in hell, for, when a friend wrote to him, ‘I have
succeeded in getting rid of the idea of hell,’ Voltaire replied, ‘I
congratulate you; I am very far from that.’
“But to the question. I doubt if there is really an atheist in the
world. There are infidels, as every one is an infidel in regard to
something. There are different views about God, as many as there are
people. You never saw two faces exactly alike. I have often thought of
this, that of the fifteen hundred millions of people in the world, we
can recognize every one from another. It seems incredible. If then, all
these faces are different, so are the minds, and each one has his
conception of God. Who will presume to say that any one kind of face is
more acceptable to God than another? Or who is to tell us that all the
rest must make theirs conform to a certain type, or to lay down a law
that such is the will of God?
“He that did it would be laughed at as a fool for his presumption. The
white man, in his arrogance, sneers at all the rest, and thinks that his
complexion is the one above all others. How does he know but what God
prefers the ebony black to his white leprous skin?
“The different races uphold their own color, as they should. If then, we
cannot determine the type of face or color, how, then, can we fix the
type of mind to be preferred? Who shall lay down a law that all men
shall think alike, in a certain groove, and in a particular manner, and
believe the same things in the same way, as one man or a set of men, in
their assumed superiority, think the best! Why should you, or any class
of men, dictate to me how I shall think about God, or in fact about
anything, any more than you or they should tell me how to have my hair
cut, or to select a certain pattern for my clothes?
“I go into your garden, and may make suggestions about your walks, or
your flowers, and you may act upon them or not, but what right have I to
insist and command you to do according to my views with your own
property? What right, then, have I to step into your mind, and tell you
to think as I do, and believe what I tell you, or be damned? When men
cannot make two faces alike, how can they expect to fashion the minds of
men to one pattern? This has been attempted in all ages, and mainly by
the Church, and what was the result? Persecution, imprisonment,
crucifixion, burning at the stake, pouring molten lead into the ears,
bursting people with water poured into their mouths, tearing them limb
from limb, in short, no tortures that devilish ingenuity could invent
but were inflicted, and the wars, desolating countries, the destruction
of cities, the outrage and murder of helpless women and children, fire
and the sword, the fiendish passions of men unrestrained, a greater
destruction of property and human life by the Christian religious wars,
than in all the wars of the world put together, and for what purpose? To
make men think alike. Did they succeed? Not at all. Mankind will think
as it pleases, fire or no fire, and in spite of the direst persecution.
The attempt was so absurd and outrageous that any one, half mad or an
idiot, ought to have seen the folly of it. The scientists might, with as
much reason, call a convocation and pass a resolution that after a
certain date all mankind should be of a certain height, and of a
particular color. Yet, notwithstanding the horrible failure, the same
old spirit exists, and the dungeon, the rack, fire and sword would come
into use again for the same old hellish purpose if it were possible.
“This is the era of another method, until in the revolution of time, the
old system may again appear, as the affairs of men have their cycles and
their seasons, as the spheres and all things in nature. In ancient times
the religious believed in knocking unbelief on the head with battle
axes. Now it is the use of offensive epithets, caricature, sarcasm,
virulent attacks, denunciation, differing from the former methods, but
with the same old spirit and the same purpose in view.
“Yet, to be candid and reasonable, I am glad to admit that there has
been great improvement. There is now a wide liberty and more generosity,
simply because the world has grown wiser by experience, and the number
of free thinkers, those people who think as they choose, have increased,
and can show that they also have rights which the others are compelled
to respect.
“One thing I cannot abide. It is that any man, or set of men, should
organize a church, patch up a creed, formulate some ordinances and make
claims that they are right and all others are wrong. They have divine
authority, they say, and so say they all, each batch of them.
“But who are they? Men, all, every one of them, and all of them very
fallible men, too. Can any one set of them have any superiority or right
over all other men?
“If Peter, who denied his master, and cursed, and a very fallible man he
was, could found a church, why not each of the other apostles, or why
not anybody, for that matter? If a Roman Church, why not an English
Church, an American, an African, a Chinese, a Hottentot Church? No one
could assert that the African Church might not be as acceptable to God
as the African face, and there might be as much difference between these
churches as in the color of the different peoples. So many get up
schemes to assist Providence, as if He was incapable of conducting His
own affairs.
“Suppose a being from another world, or not to go so far, say a heathen,
should begin the study of the different beliefs of the different
churches and at the same time study the actions of those who profess
belief in them. What would be his inevitable conclusion?
“That Jesus was the Prince of Peace? And that all the people of these
different creeds are his true followers?
“No more, than that the sheep and tiger, the hare and the cat are of the
same family. He might believe that the tiger and the lamb might be
together, but the lamb would be inside the tiger, and that there would
be peace among the churches only when all the others would be in the
bowels of one.
“There is a great deal made of that scripture phrase of the lion and the
lamb lying down together, but each sect wishes to be the lion.
“This may be a crude way of stating the case, but is it not a fact that
the Roman church will never rest until it has devoured all the others?
The Anglican church and its infant in America are always crying out for
unity, but is not this ever the cry, ‘Come into me?’ It ill becomes the
adherents of the Church of England, that dissented from the Church of
Rome, to throw stones at those who dissent from them. Each of the sects,
and they all are sects, claims to be the body of Christ. What a
wonderful number of bodies he must have! If they are all in one body,
what a disturbed condition it must be in! If Jesus was divine, it is
sacrilegious to think of all the discordant elements shut up in him, or
if he was only human, still it is mortifying to think that his teaching
and example should produce such a variety of beliefs and actions.
“The Roman church, to begin with, regards all others as schismatic,
heretic, their clergy as lacking lawful orders, their sacraments and
ordinances as null and void. The Roman church declares that its
restoration to civil power is necessary, ‘that when the temporal
government of the apostolic see is at stake the security and well being
of the entire human family is also in jeopardy.’ This church insists
that the state has no rights over anything which it declares to be
within its domain, and that Protestantism being a mere rebellion, has no
rights at all; that even in Protestant communities the Catholic bishop
is the only lawful spiritual pastor. She claims everything.
“The Anglican church would like to affiliate with the mother church, be
considered as a branch or offshoot, but the mother church will none of
it. She will have no bastard children in her family. She must be all
over all. The Anglican after such a snub comes with his apostolic
succession and assumed divine rights, treats others as the Roman serves
him. Both have their different creeds and rituals, ceremonies,
millinery, exclusive consecrated churches and graveyards, in which none
of the outside world may be laid to rest.
“None even can enjoy the last inheritance of mankind unless he happens
to belong to their folds, they making death a sort of human judgment
day, in trying to forestall the Almighty by keeping their sheep from the
goats.
“And as we go on, the separations continue in almost endless variety,
each sect attacking the other. Their papers or organs are full of sneers
and slurs, bitter acrimonious attacks on each other, while they all
assume to be of Christ. Yet they wonder that the churches do not reach
the masses. What would the masses get by going into them?
“Another view. A church established by law or by some means may be
considered a very respectable, proper and orthodox thing and all that,
but what can it do to relieve me of my individual responsibility to God?
I am not answerable to the church for the eternal welfare of my soul. I
myself must look to that. Go to church, believe in the church, accept
its creeds. Some of this may be a help to me, to quicken my thoughts,
enlarge my understanding, but I deny any divine power or authority in it
over me. Will the church take my place and be judged for me, relieving
me of any final judgment? If not, how can I rely on it when there is a
final settlement between God and myself? At last I am to stand naked and
alone. This is the truth. ‘Thou wast alone at the time of thy birth;
thou wilt be alone in the moment of death; alone thou must answer at the
bar of the inexorable Judge.’
“Nothing can come between me and God. I am what I am, and so shall I
remain forever.
“If I could get some one to do my thinking, to believe for me and to
relieve me of all mental and moral responsibility in the end; if any one
of these ecclesiastical leaders, from the self styled infallible pope
down to the street Salvation Army shouter, could give me a quittance
from sin and a sure deed to an inheritance in heaven, it would be well
to trust them. Not one of them is sure of heaven himself. Yet they
uphold their different creeds as if the Almighty had written and signed
them with His own hand. Their assurance is only equaled by their
impudence, when they demand of every one, ‘Believe as I tell you,’ as if
the eternal destiny of human souls was in their say so.
“The church can be a kind of a human mutual aid society, and has its
place in the world, but nothing more. I must live my own life, die my
own death and remain what I make myself; and I cannot see how God, or
angels, or men can change this inevitable condition for me.
“If I could sell out, deliver myself over to the church or some body,
get rid of life, of myself, but I do not know how it can be done, nor do
I know of anyone who could make the purchase and give me a release from
all further responsibility.
“The fact is, everything in the world is so desperately human. All
humanity is on the same level plane. None can rise higher than the rest.
Yes, it is true that some claim to know, to have entered into the secret
councils of the Almighty and to understand all His plans, and so are
able to dictate to the rest, but when investigated they really know no
more than others. They have evolved a lot of theories from their inner
consciousness, nothing more; most frequently the less they really know,
the more bold and dogmatical they are.
“A young man—and generally they are below the average in natural
ability—goes to a school where he is taught some particular belief, how
to preach it, defend it; then he is set apart, ordained by the laying on
of hands of men little wiser and better than himself, and he goes forth
to uphold or disseminate his creed with the voice of an infallible
trumpet. By what right does he assume to have the ability or the
authority to know all about the purposes of God or dominate over his
fellow men?
“I grant his right to bray like an ass if he chooses, but I deny his
power to anathematize me for not believing his bray to be the roar of a
lion. Many a time have I sat in church and heard a beardless stripling
of a youth, just from school, make his statements about Providence with
an air of authority as if he had just been appointed prime minister to
the Almighty. What did he know more than his audience? Much less than
most of them. Take an old priest or clergyman. Who is he? Only a man as
I am. What is he? Only a student as I am. Where has he been that I have
not gone? What advantages has he had more than I? None. Is God nearer to
him than to me? I trust not. We are the same in every way, men. Yet when
he takes his place in the pulpit he assumes that he knows everything,
and presumes that I know nothing; preaches to me, dictates to me and
denounces me for not agreeing with him and accepting all his talk, his
sublimated drivel as God’s truth. Charles Kingsley, a most sensible
priest, says, ‘Youths who hide their crass ignorance and dullness under
the cloak of church infallibility, and having neither tact, manners,
learning, humanity or any other dignity whereon to stand, talk loudly
_pour pis aller_ about the dignity of the priesthood.’
“The churches assume to be invested by God with power to regulate our
belief without taking upon themselves any responsibility for our
miscarriage; they teach that the spiritual direction and salvation of a
man’s soul is wholly in the power of somebody else than himself.
“The priest declares that the bible says so, and therefore it must be
true. Who made the bible? Men, such as we are, and therefore of no final
authority. He says the church teaches so and so. But who made the
church? Men. So on all through the gamut. We start with man and man made
things. We never get away from men and never rise any higher than men
can go.
“I put nothing in the place of Almighty God or between Him and myself. I
defy the authority of any to impose upon me what they are not willing
that I should impose upon them. Why should a man attempt to bind my
conscience when he is not willing to allow me to bind his? I refuse to
accept pope or priest as having any authority to direct me in religious
matters. God is as near to me as to them. If they can get power from Him
so can I. If they can presume to use upon me what they assume to have
received, why can I not act in the same way toward them? The pope
assumes to direct me; why not I in turn direct him? He has his
authority, so he says, from heaven; so might I say of mine. What then is
the difference? Only this. He is a big pope, inheriting his power by
tradition; I am but a little pope, just starting. In himself he is no
greater or better a man than I am. He has only power and wealth acquired
by other men. A man, as Buddha, Jesus, Muhamed, starts alone as the
founder of a new religion. The movement continues until the followers of
each are numbered by millions. A priest commences a schismatic, and as
the years pass on, one thing after another is assumed, culminating in
papal infallibility, and the pope is considered as a god upon earth.
“Religious tyranny is worse than political tyranny. In the one the
highest aspirations of the soul are fettered and enslaved, while by the
other the body only is in subjugation.
“Charlemagne converted an ecclesiastical fiction into a political fact.
The sword compelled the people to acknowledge the pope as the vicegerent
of God. The popes were the confederates of cruelty and crime. There was
not an enormity so great in the political world but would be consecrated
by the popes and priests, if it was for their interest to do so. History
tells what this church has done for its own aggrandizement. The Roman
has been more bold and defiant, as it had the political power, but the
other sects, each in its own way, has sought to dominate the opinions of
mankind.
“But enough of this. The time must come when the world will worship only
one God and do away with the idolatry of the bible, of Jesus, of Mary,
of the innumerable saints, the adulation of rites, rituals, ceremonies,
and make righteousness and holiness consist in obeying the laws of God,
as written in the hearts of men, and in maintaining clean, upright
lives.
“We need a natural, not an artificial religion, one in harmony with the
nature of God, not something manufactured by councils or religious
tinkerers. I am well aware that most if not all the people in the
churches would deny my right to have any opinion at all on these
subjects except what they hold. I have known Christian ministers shocked
at the suggestion of a doubt about any of the tenets of their faith, and
yet I have heard these same men, well versed in Hinduism, attack it with
such virulence and ridicule that the very heathen in front of them
begged them for shame to desist.
“If Christian ministers in the bazars can preach against Muhamedanism
and Hinduism; if they can write books to destroy these religions, why
should they object to an investigation of their own creeds? They talk of
the intolerance and bigotry of the Muhamedans, but who so intolerant as
the Christians? Let one of their number leave their ranks with all
honesty and good intention. He is then shunned as a leper, avoided as if
he were a dangerous animal and treated with contempt, and reflections
are made on his motives, until he is at length obliged in self defense,
and for his own self respect, to give his reasons and make attacks in
return, when but for the uncharitable treatment he received would have
remained silent.”
I had asked frequent questions during the conversation, but do not
consider them worth repeating. This accounts for the apparent breaks in
Mr. Jasper’s remarks. It was no fault of his that he did not answer my
first question, as I diverted him from it by a question. I again
referred to it, and he said:
“Believe in God? Most emphatically I do. I came to conclude in the
existence of God in this way. I see about me a world of matter. It is
inert, dead, incapable of motion in itself or of moving other things. It
could not therefore come into existence by itself. I observe that
vegetable and animal life is above matter and has a certain power over
it, yet I am conscious that this life did not create itself. Then comes
man, supreme over all, with his varied powers and faculties. I know from
my own experience, that though he can do much he is only a transformer.
He cannot create anything, so he could not be his own creator. So on,
from the lowest to the highest life I see no power of creating. I see
what man can do, the transcendant harmony and adaptation of the things
his mind can arrange but not create. I see the wonderful things in
nature, their beauty and the universal harmony of all things, not only
of the earth but of the heavenly bodies. Everything I see is according
to law, nothing by chance. I see nothing on earth that can create the
smallest thing, and that nothing is moved or transferred but by life,
mind; and hence I infer that there must be a mind above all this to
start it and continue it, and this mind I call God. I do not know what
you think of my theory, but it is satisfactory to myself, and this is
sufficient for me. It may not satisfy you or any other being on earth. I
am not thinking for others; only for myself. I must believe and act for
myself.
“This mind, spirit, Being above, I revere, I worship, I love. He is my
light, my life, my peace and joy. I cannot but think Him infinitely
wise, for I see proofs of His wisdom everywhere. I see His goodness in
all He gives me to enjoy. I judge Him to be Almighty, for I see his
power displayed everywhere. I know of His mercy, for if it were not for
that I would not be permitted to live, violating what I cannot but see
are His righteous laws. I see it is the evident purpose of life to be
and enjoy. Should I wantonly wound a bird, I ask, what if some one
should torture me in the same way? Should a man wrong my sister or my
daughter, how would I feel? How then could I injure his sister? Why
should I do anything which I would not have done to me? I believe in
Providence, one who upholds and directs this universal all, from the
largest planets, down to the drop of dew on a rose leaf. I see and feel
all this, that as matter cannot act of itself, it must be acted upon,
and with what wisdom, power and love!
“When I obey the laws of nature, and of my being, there is a
satisfaction. When I violate the laws there is a sense of wrong, a
knowledge that I have sinned, and remorse follows, warning me not to do
the like again. If I fail to listen to the requests of the poor, the
question always comes: ‘If you were in their place, how would you like
to be treated in that way?’
“What more? I pray for light, for forgiveness, for strength, for wisdom.
I thank God for all things, and when I come to Him in humility, when I
make confession of my sins, throw myself upon Him, into His merciful
arms, and feel that this mind, this Infinite being is my God, my Father,
what a peace and joy comes into my life! I often like to sit in silence,
not to think, but to feel with my whole being, after God. This is Heaven
to me, to be in harmony with the Divine One above, around and within me,
and I am supremely happy. I have no fears, no doubts, for I have done
the best I know.
“Now you have read the thoughts of my soul. Good night, Mr. Japhet.”
He said all this with so much sincerity that I could not but believe
that he had let me read “the thoughts of his soul.”