Queer John has sung, how money goes,
But how it comes, who knows? Who knows?
Why every Yankee mother's son
Can tell you how "the thing" is done.
It comes by honest toil and trade;
By wielding sledge and driving spade,
And building ships, balloons, and drums;
And that's the way the money comes.
How does it come? Why, as it goes,
By spinning, weaving, knitting hose,
By stitching shirts and coats for Jews,
Erecting churches, renting pews,
And manufacturing boots and shoes;
For thumps and twists, and cuts and hues,
And _heads_ and _hearts_, tongues, lungs, and thumbs
And that's the way the money comes.
How does it come? The way is plain--
By raising cotton, corn, and _cane_;
By wind and steam, lightning and rain;
By guiding ships across the main;
By building bridges, roads, and dams,
And sweeping streets, and digging clams,
With whistles, hi's! ho's! and hums!
And that's the way the money comes.
The money comes--how did I say?
Not _always_ in an _honest_ way.
It comes by _trick_ as well as toil,
But how is that? why, slick as oil,--
By putting peas in coffee-bags;
By swapping watches, knives, and nags,
And peddling _wooden clocks_ and _plums_;
And that's the way the money comes.
How does it come?--wait, let me see,
It very seldom comes to me;
It comes by _rule_ I guess, and _seale_,
Sometimes by riding on a _rail_,
But oftener, that's the way it goes
From silly belles and fast young beaux;
It comes in big, nay, _little sums_,
Ay! that's the way the money comes.