[To be spoken without gesture, as if the speaker were
telling a friend his experience.]
Did you ever see an eclipse? No? Well, you _did_ miss a sight, got up
for the especial benefit of darkies, perhaps, but every white man, of
good _standing_, could enjoy it--_if_ he was up. I'll tell you _my_
experience, and you may judge what you have lost by not seeing the
eclipse.
Well, I got up at three o'clock Wednesday morning. Looked for the sun,
but couldn't find it. Concluded that I was up too early. Went to bed.
Got up again at half-past five. Saw something they called the sun.
Looked red. Went down town. Sun looked whiter and bright as a tin pan.
Thought I would go home and get breakfast. Noticed the breakfast-room
looked dark. Opened the blinds when it looked lighter.
Seven o'clock. Went down town again. Sun shining very bright. Tried
to look at it but couldn't. Thought I would take a glass. Took one.
Smoked it. Thought that I could see better, but wasn't satisfied.
Didn't see any eclipse.
Eight o'clock. Took another glass, thinking it might be a better one.
Smoked. Could see a patch on the sun's face. Grew bigger. Took another
glass--smoked. Looked first-rate.
Half-past eight. Things didn't look right, but could see something.
Thought the trouble might be in the last glass. Took another. Saw the
biggest kind of an eclipse. Saw the sun and moon. Took another glass
and looked again. Saw two suns. Smoked and took another glass. Saw two
suns and two moons. Took another glass. Five or six suns and ten or
fifteen moons all mixed up and seemed to be drunk.
Nine o'clock. Couldn't see much of any thing. Concluded I must be
sun-struck. Thought I would go home. Saw an omnibus, and thought I
would get in. Turned out to be one of Swartz's what-d'ye-call-it.
Tried another, and got in. Went home in a coal cart. Think eclipses
are humbugs, besides making people have headaches.