I cooeyed to him, but he would not hear. I ran after him, but he had
got too good a start. Then I sat down on a stone and thought the matter
carefully over. It was plain that Chowbok had designedly attempted to
keep me from going up this valley, yet he had shown no unwillingness to
follow me anywhere else. What could this mean, unless that I was now
upon the route by which alone the mysteries of the great ranges could
be revealed? What then should I do? Go back at the very moment when it
had become plain that I was on the right scent? Hardly; yet to proceed
alone would be both difficult and dangerous. It would be bad enough to
return to my master’s run, and pass through the rocky gorges, with no
chance of help from another should I get into a difficulty; but to
advance for any considerable distance without a companion would be next
door to madness. Accidents which are slight when there is another at
hand (as the spraining of an ankle, or the falling into some place
whence escape would be easy by means of an outstretched hand and a bit
of rope) may be fatal to one who is alone. The more I pondered the less
I liked it; and yet, the less could I make up my mind to return when I
looked at the saddle at the head of the valley, and noted the
comparative ease with which its smooth sweep of snow might be
surmounted: I seemed to see my way almost from my present position to
the very top. After much thought, I resolved to go forward until I
should come to some place which was really dangerous, but then to
return. I should thus, I hoped, at any rate reach the top of the
saddle, and satisfy myself as to what might be on the other side.
I had no time to lose, for it was now between ten and eleven in the
morning. Fortunately I was well equipped, for on leaving the camp and
the horses at the lower end of the valley I had provided myself
(according to my custom) with everything that I was likely to want for
four or five days. Chowbok had carried half, but had dropped his whole
swag—I suppose, at the moment of his taking flight—for I came upon it
when I ran after him. I had, therefore, his provisions as well as my
own. Accordingly, I took as many biscuits as I thought I could carry,
and also some tobacco, tea, and a few matches. I rolled all these
things (together with a flask nearly full of brandy, which I had kept
in my pocket for fear lest Chowbok should get hold of it) inside my
blankets, and strapped them very tightly, making the whole into a long
roll of some seven feet in length and six inches in diameter. Then I
tied the two ends together, and put the whole round my neck and over
one shoulder. This is the easiest way of carrying a heavy swag, for one
can rest one’s self by shifting the burden from one shoulder to the
other. I strapped my pannikin and a small axe about my waist, and thus
equipped began to ascend the valley, angry at having been misled by
Chowbok, but determined not to return till I was compelled to do so.
I crossed and recrossed the stream several times without difficulty,
for there were many good fords. At one o’clock I was at the foot of the
saddle; for four hours I mounted, the last two on the snow, where the
going was easier; by five, I was within ten minutes of the top, in a
state of excitement greater, I think, than I had ever known before. Ten
minutes more, and the cold air from the other side came rushing upon
me.
A glance. I was _not_ on the main range.
Another glance. There was an awful river, muddy and horribly angry,
roaring over an immense riverbed, thousands of feet below me.
It went round to the westward, and I could see no farther up the
valley, save that there were enormous glaciers which must extend round
the source of the river, and from which it must spring.
Another glance, and then I remained motionless.
There was an easy pass in the mountains directly opposite to me,
through which I caught a glimpse of an immeasurable extent of blue and
distant plains.
Easy? Yes, perfectly easy; grassed nearly to the summit, which was, as
it were, an open path between two glaciers, from which an
inconsiderable stream came tumbling down over rough but very possible
hillsides, till it got down to the level of the great river, and formed
a flat where there was grass and a small bush of stunted timber.
Almost before I could believe my eyes, a cloud had come up from the
valley on the other side, and the plains were hidden. What wonderful
luck was mine! Had I arrived five minutes later, the cloud would have
been over the pass, and I should not have known of its existence. Now
that the cloud was there, I began to doubt my memory, and to be
uncertain whether it had been more than a blue line of distant vapour
that had filled up the opening. I could only be certain of this much,
namely, that the river in the valley below must be the one next to the
northward of that which flowed past my master’s station; of this there
could be no doubt. Could I, however, imagine that my luck should have
led me up a wrong river in search of a pass, and yet brought me to the
spot where I could detect the one weak place in the fortifications of a
more northern basin? This was too improbable. But even as I doubted
there came a rent in the cloud opposite, and a second time I saw blue
lines of heaving downs, growing gradually fainter, and retiring into a
far space of plain. It was substantial; there had been no mistake
whatsoever. I had hardly made myself perfectly sure of this, ere the
rent in the clouds joined up again and I could see nothing more.
What, then, should I do? The night would be upon me shortly, and I was
already chilled with standing still after the exertion of climbing. To
stay where I was would be impossible; I must either go backwards or
forwards. I found a rock which gave me shelter from the evening wind,
and took a good pull at the brandy flask, which immediately warmed and
encouraged me.
I asked myself, Could I descend upon the river-bed beneath me? It was
impossible to say what precipices might prevent my doing so. If I were
on the river-bed, dare I cross the river? I am an excellent swimmer,
yet, once in that frightful rush of waters, I should be hurled
whithersoever it willed, absolutely powerless. Moreover, there was my
swag; I should perish of cold and hunger if I left it, but I should
certainly be drowned if I attempted to carry it across the river. These
were serious considerations, but the hope of finding an immense tract
of available sheep country (which I was determined that I would
monopolise as far as I possibly could) sufficed to outweigh them; and,
in a few minutes, I felt resolved that, having made so important a
discovery as a pass into a country which was probably as valuable as
that on our own side of the ranges, I would follow it up and ascertain
its value, even though I should pay the penalty of failure with life
itself. The more I thought, the more determined I became either to win
fame and perhaps fortune, by entering upon this unknown world, or give
up life in the attempt. In fact, I felt that life would be no longer
valuable if I were to have seen so great a prize and refused to grasp
at the possible profits therefrom.
I had still an hour of good daylight during which I might begin my
descent on to some suitable camping-ground, but there was not a moment
to be lost. At first I got along rapidly, for I was on the snow, and
sank into it enough to save me from falling, though I went forward
straight down the mountain side as fast as I could; but there was less
snow on this side than on the other, and I had soon done with it,
getting on to a coomb of dangerous and very stony ground, where a slip
might have given me a disastrous fall. But I was careful with all my
speed, and got safely to the bottom, where there were patches of coarse
grass, and an attempt here and there at brushwood: what was below this
I could not see. I advanced a few hundred yards farther, and found that
I was on the brink of a frightful precipice, which no one in his senses
would attempt descending. I bethought me, however, to try the creek
which drained the coomb, and see whether it might not have made itself
a smoother way. In a few minutes I found myself at the upper end of a
chasm in the rocks, something like Twll Dhu, only on a greatly larger
scale; the creek had found its way into it, and had worn a deep channel
through a material which appeared softer than that upon the other side
of the mountain. I believe it must have been a different geological
formation, though I regret to say that I cannot tell what it was.
I looked at this rift in great doubt; then I went a little way on
either side of it, and found myself looking over the edge of horrible
precipices on to the river, which roared some four or five thousand
feet below me. I dared not think of getting down at all, unless I
committed myself to the rift, of which I was hopeful when I reflected
that the rock was soft, and that the water might have worn its channel
tolerably evenly through the whole extent. The darkness was increasing
with every minute, but I should have twilight for another half-hour, so
I went into the chasm (though by no means without fear), and resolved
to return and camp, and try some other path next day, should I come to
any serious difficulty. In about five minutes I had completely lost my
head; the side of the rift became hundreds of feet in height, and
overhung so that I could not see the sky. It was full of rocks, and I
had many falls and bruises. I was wet through from falling into the
water, of which there was no great volume, but it had such force that I
could do nothing against it; once I had to leap down a not
inconsiderable waterfall into a deep pool below, and my swag was so
heavy that I was very nearly drowned. I had indeed a hair’s-breadth
escape; but, as luck would have it, Providence was on my side. Shortly
afterwards I began to fancy that the rift was getting wider, and that
there was more brushwood. Presently I found myself on an open grassy
slope, and feeling my way a little farther along the stream, I came
upon a flat place with wood, where I could camp comfortably; which was
well, for it was now quite dark.
My first care was for my matches; were they dry? The outside of my swag
had got completely wet; but, on undoing the blankets, I found things
warm and dry within. How thankful I was! I lit a fire, and was grateful
for its warmth and company. I made myself some tea and ate two of my
biscuits: my brandy I did not touch, for I had little left, and might
want it when my courage failed me. All that I did, I did almost
mechanically, for I could not realise my situation to myself, beyond
knowing that I was alone, and that return through the chasm which I had
just descended would be impossible. It is a dreadful feeling that of
being cut off from all one’s kind. I was still full of hope, and built
golden castles for myself as soon as I was warmed with food and fire;
but I do not believe that any man could long retain his reason in such
solitude, unless he had the companionship of animals. One begins
doubting one’s own identity.
I remember deriving comfort even from the sight of my blankets, and the
sound of my watch ticking—things which seemed to link me to other
people; but the screaming of the wood-hens frightened me, as also a
chattering bird which I had never heard before, and which seemed to
laugh at me; though I soon got used to it, and before long could fancy
that it was many years since I had first heard it.
I took off my clothes, and wrapped my inside blanket about me, till my
things were dry. The night was very still, and I made a roaring fire;
so I soon got warm, and at last could put my clothes on again. Then I
strapped my blanket round me, and went to sleep as near the fire as I
could.
I dreamed that there was an organ placed in my master’s wool-shed: the
wool-shed faded away, and the organ seemed to grow and grow amid a
blaze of brilliant light, till it became like a golden city upon the
side of a mountain, with rows upon rows of pipes set in cliffs and
precipices, one above the other, and in mysterious caverns, like that
of Fingal, within whose depths I could see the burnished pillars
gleaming. In the front there was a flight of lofty terraces, at the top
of which I could see a man with his head buried forward towards a
key-board, and his body swaying from side to side amid the storm of
huge arpeggioed harmonies that came crashing overhead and round. Then
there was one who touched me on the shoulder, and said, “Do you not
see? it is Handel”;—but I had hardly apprehended, and was trying to
scale the terraces, and get near him, when I awoke, dazzled with the
vividness and distinctness of the dream.
A piece of wood had burned through, and the ends had fallen into the
ashes with a blaze: this, I supposed, had both given me my dream and
robbed me of it. I was bitterly disappointed, and sitting up on my
elbow, came back to reality and my strange surroundings as best I
could.
I was thoroughly aroused—moreover, I felt a foreshadowing as though my
attention were arrested by something more than the dream, although no
sense in particular was as yet appealed to. I held my breath and
waited, and then I heard—was it fancy? Nay; I listened again and again,
and I _did_ hear a faint and extremely distant sound of music, like
that of an AEolian harp, borne upon the wind which was blowing fresh
and chill from the opposite mountains.
The roots of my hair thrilled. I listened, but the wind had died; and,
fancying that it must have been the wind itself—no; on a sudden I
remembered the noise which Chowbok had made in the wool-shed. Yes; it
was that.
Thank Heaven, whatever it was, it was over now. I reasoned with myself,
and recovered my firmness. I became convinced that I had only been
dreaming more vividly than usual. Soon I began even to laugh, and think
what a fool I was to be frightened at nothing, reminding myself that
even if I were to come to a bad end it would be no such dreadful matter
after all. I said my prayers, a duty which I had too often neglected,
and in a little time fell into a really refreshing sleep, which lasted
till broad daylight, and restored me. I rose, and searching among the
embers of my fire, I found a few live coals and soon had a blaze again.
I got breakfast, and was delighted to have the company of several small
birds, which hopped about me and perched on my boots and hands. I felt
comparatively happy, but I can assure the reader that I had had a far
worse time of it than I have told him; and I strongly recommend him to
remain in Europe if he can; or, at any rate, in some country which has
been explored and settled, rather than go into places where others have
not been before him. Exploring is delightful to look forward to and
back upon, but it is not comfortable at the time, unless it be of such
an easy nature as not to deserve the name.