REMORSE OF SÚCHÍ.
Argument. Remorse of Karkatí at her transformation to a Needle from her
former gigantic form.
Vasishtha continued:—After the carnivorous fiend—Karkatí, had feasted
for a long period on the flesh and blood of human kind; she found her
insatiable voracity to know no bounds, and never to be satisfied with
anything.
2. She used to be satisfied erewhile, with a drop of blood in her form
of the needle; and she now became sorry, at the loss of the insatiable
thirst and appetite of her former state.
3. She thought in herself, O pity it is! that I came to be a vile
needle; with so weak and slender a body, that I can take nothing for my
food.
4. How foolish I have been to forego my former gigantic form, and change
my dark cloudy figure for something as the dry leaf of a forest tree.
5. O wretch that I am, to have foregone my dainty food of flesh
flavoured with fat. (The Ráskshasa cannibals are raw flesh-eaters and
feeders on the fat of animals).
6. I am doomed to dive in dirt, and drop down on the ground; to be
trodden and trampled over under the feet of people, and soiled and
sullied in the filth.
7. O me miserable, helpless and hopeless thing, and without any support
or status of mine; from one woe I fall to another, and one danger is
succeeded by another unto me!
8. I have no mistress nor maidservant, nor my father nor mother; I have
got no son nor brother, nor any one to serve or befriend me.
9. I have no body nor abode, nor any refuge nor asylum anywhere; nor
have I a fixed dwelling in any spot, but am driven about, like the
fallen leaves of forest trees by the driving winds.
10. I am subject to all accidents, and exposed to every kind of
calamity; I wish for my extinction, but it wishes not to approach unto
me. (Death flies from the destitute).
11. What else have I done to have given away my own big body, in the
foolishness of my heart; than parted like a madman, with a precious
jewel for a paltry piece of glass.
12. One calamity is enough to turn the brain out of order; but what will
be my case when it is followed by other calamities in endless
succession.
13. I am hung up (with the cloth) to be suffocated by the smoke, and
dropped down in the streets to be trodden under foot; I am cast away
with the dirt, and hid under the grass to my great distress.
14. I serve at another’s will, and am guided by my guide; I am stark
naked while I sew for others, and am ever a dependant on another’s
guidance.
15. Long do I drudge and trudge for a paltry gain, and stitching alone
is all the work that I have to perform for life. O unlucky that I am,
that my ill luck even is so very luckless.
16. I see the demon of despair rising before me, upon my penitence of
this day; and threatening to make an end of this body, of which I have
made an offering to him.
17. What better fate can await on me, after my loss of so big and bulky
a body by my foolishness; than to be annihilated into nothing, rather
than be a thing which is good for nothing.
18. What man will pick me up, who am as lean as a mollusk (or thread
worm); from the heap of ashes, under which I lie buried by the wayside.
19. No keensighted man will take into his consideration a wretched and a
forlorn being; as nobody living on a high hill, ever stoops to take
notice of the grass growing on the ground below.
20. I cannot expect to raise myself higher, while I am lying in the sea
of ignorance; what blind man can perceive the glorious sun-light, who is
guided by the flash of fireflies?
21. I know not therefore how long I shall have to labour under my
difficulties, when I find myself already drowned in a sea of misery.
22. When shall I be restored again to the form of the daughter of
Anjanágiri mountain; and will stand as a pillar over the ruins of the
nether and upper worlds?
23. When shall I have my arms reaching to the clouds, and my eyes
flashing as lightning; my garb becoming as white as snow, and my hairs
touching the sky.
24. My big belly resembling a huge cloud, and my long breasts hanging
below as pillows; shaking with the motion of my body, in its dancing
like the pinions of a peacock.
25. The ash-white light emitted by my laughter, cast the light of the
sun into the shade; and my former high stature, threatened to devour the
terrible god of death.
26. My hollow sockets deep as the holes of mortars, flashed erewhile
with living fire; like the rays of the sun; and my large legs moved as
two monumental pillars in my rambling.
27. When shall I have my big belly, with its large cavity like a
pot-belly; and when shall I have again my soft black nails, resembling
the dark and humid clouds of autumn.
28. When will those tender smiles return to me, whereby I moved the
great Rákshasas to my favour; and when shall I dance in my giddy
circles, at the music of the tabor amidst the forests.
29. When will that big belly of mine, be filled with potfuls of fattened
liquor; and be fed with heaps of the flesh and bones of dead bodies.
30. When shall I get me drunk, with drinking the blood of human gores;
and become merry and giddy, until I fall fast asleep.
31. It was I who destroyed my former brilliant body, by my bad choice of
austerities, and accepted this petty needlish form, like one taking the
sulphate of gold, instead of that precious metal.
32. Ah! where is that huge body which filled all sides, and shone as the
sable hill of Anjanágiri; and what is this puny and pinny form of the
shape of a spider’s leg, and as thin and lean as a tender blade of
grass.
33. The ignorant are found to throw away a golden jewel, as useless on
the ground as a piece of glass; and so have I cast aside my shining
body, for a bit of this blackest needle.
34. O great Vindhyá with thy hollow and snow covered caves! why dost
thou not destroy thy dull elephants by thy native lions? It is I that am
as silly as an elephant—_gaja múrkha_.
35. O my arms! which used to break down mountain peaks, why do ye fail
to pluck the butter-like moon with thy moony nails?
36. O my breast! which was as fair as the side of the snowy mountain,
even without my glassy ornaments; why dost thou not show thy hairs,
which were as large as leeches that feed on lion’s flesh?
37. O my eyes! that used to dispel the darkness of the darkest night,
and kindle the dry fuel with your glaring fire; why do ye cease to
lighten the air with your effulgence?
38. O my shoulder blades! are ye broken down and levelled with the
earth? or are ye crushed and smashed or mouldered and worn out by age?
39. O my moonbright face! why dost thou not shine over me with thy
bright beams; resembling the everlasting light of the orb of the moon,
now at an end for ever?
40. O my hands! where is your strength fled today? See ye not, how I am
transformed to an ignoble needle, that is moved about by the touch of
the foot of a fly?
41. Alas! the cavity of my navel, which was as deep as a well, and beset
by hairs resembling rows of beautiful plants about it; and my
protuberant posteriors, which likened to the bottom of the Vindhyá
hills.
42. Where is that towering stature reaching to the sky, and what is this
new earned contemptible form of the needle; where is that mouth, hollow
as the vault of the sky, and what is this hole of the needle? Where is
that heap of my flesh meat, and what is this drop of watery food? Ah!
how lean have I grown, but who is to be blamed for an act of my own
doing?