PORTHOS' PLAN OF ACTION.
The numerous individuals we have introduced into this long story is the
cause of each of them being obliged to appear only in his own turn, and
according to the exigencies of the recital. The result is, that our
readers have had no opportunity of again meeting our friend Porthos
since his return from Fontainebleau. The honors which he had received
from the king had not changed the easy, affectionate character of that
excellent-hearted man; he may, perhaps, have held up his head a little
higher than usual, and a majesty of demeanor, as it were, may have
betrayed itself since the honor of dining at the king's table had been
accorded him. His majesty's banqueting-room had produced a certain
effect upon Porthos. Le Seigneur de Bracieux et de Pierrefonds delighted
to remember that, during that memorable dinner, the numerous array of
servants, and the large number of officials, who were in attendance upon
the guests, gave a certain tone and effect to the repast, and seemed to
furnish the room. Porthos undertook to confer upon Mouston a position of
some kind or other, in order to establish a sort of hierarchy among his
other domestics, and to create a military household, which was not
unusual among the great captains of the age, since, in the preceding
century, this luxury had been greatly encouraged by Messieurs de
Treville, de Schomberg, de la Vieuville, without alluding to M. de
Richelieu, M. de Conde, and De Bouillon-Turenne! And, therefore, why
should not he, Porthos, the friend of the king, and of M. Fouquet, a
baron, an engineer, etc., why should not he, indeed, enjoy all the
delightful privileges which large possessions and unusual merit
invariably confer? Slightly neglected by Aramis, who, we know, was
greatly occupied with M. Fouquet; neglected, also, on account of his
being on duty, by D'Artagnan; tired of Trüchen and Planchet, Porthos was
surprised to find himself dreaming, without precisely knowing why; but
if any one had said to him, "Do you want anything, Porthos?" he would,
most certainly, have replied, "Yes." After one of those dinners, during
which Porthos attempted to recall to his recollection all the details of
the royal banquet, half joyful, thanks to the excellence of the wines;
half melancholy, thanks to his ambitious ideas, Porthos was gradually
falling off into a gentle doze, when his servant entered to announce
that M. de Bragelonne wished to speak to him. Porthos passed into an
adjoining room, where he found his young friend in the disposition of
mind we are already aware of. Raoul advanced toward Porthos, and shook
him by the hand; Porthos, surprised at his seriousness of aspect,
offered him a seat. "Dear M. de Valon," said Raoul, "I have a service to
ask of you."
"Nothing could happen more fortunately, my young friend," replied
Porthos; "I have had eight thousand livres sent me this morning from
Pierrefonds; and if you want any money--"
"No, I thank you; it is not money."
"So much the worse, then. I have always heard it said that that is the
rarest service, but the easiest to render. The remark struck me; I like
to cite remarks that strike me."
"Your heart is as good as your mind is sound and true."
"You are too kind, I'm sure. You will dine here, of course?"
"No; I am not hungry."
"Eh! not dine! What a dreadful country England is."
"Not too much so, indeed--but--"
"Well. If such excellent fish and meat were not to be procured there, it
would hardly be endurable."
"Yes; I came to--"
"I am listening. Only just allow me to take something to drink. One gets
thirsty in Paris:" and he ordered a bottle of champagne to be brought;
and, having first filled Raoul's glass, he filled his own, drank it down
at a gulp, and then resumed; "I needed that, in order to listen to you
with proper attention. I am now quite at your service. What have you to
ask me, dear Raoul? What do you want?"
"Give me your opinion upon quarrels in general, my dear friend."
"My opinion! Well--but---- Explain your idea a little," replied Porthos,
rubbing his forehead.
"I mean--you are generally good-humored, or good-tempered, whenever any
misunderstanding may arise between a friend of yours and a stranger, for
instance?"
"Oh! in the best of tempers."
"Very good; but what do you do in such a case?"
"Whenever any friend of mine has a quarrel, I always act upon one
principle."
"What is that?"
"That all lost time is irreparable, and that one never arranges an
affair so well as when everything has been done to embroil the dispute
as much as possible."
"Ah! indeed, that is the principle on which you proceed."
"Thoroughly; so as soon as a quarrel takes place, I bring the two
parties together."
"Exactly."
"You understand that by this means it is impossible for an affair not to
be arranged."
"I should have thought that, treated in this manner, an affair would, on
the contrary--"
"Oh! not the least in the world. Just fancy now, I have had in my life
something like a hundred and eighty to a hundred and ninety regular
duels, without reckoning hasty encounters or chance meetings."
"It is a very handsome number," said Raoul, unable to resist a smile.
"A mere nothing; but I am so gentle. D'Artagnan reckons his duels by
hundreds. It is very true he is a little too hard and sharp--I have
often told him so."
"And so," resumed Raoul, "you generally arrange the affairs of honor
your friends confide to you."
"There is not a single instance in which I have not finished by
arranging every one of them," said Porthos, with a gentleness and
confidence which surprised Raoul.
"But the way in which you settle them is at least honorable, I suppose?"
"Oh! rely upon that; and at this stage, I will explain my other
principle to you. As soon as my friend has confided his quarrel to me,
this is what I do: I go to his adversary at once, armed with a
politeness and self-possession which are absolutely requisite under such
circumstances."
"That is the way, then," said Raoul, bitterly, "that you arrange the
affairs so safely."
"I believe you. I go to the adversary, then, and say to him: 'It is
impossible, monsieur, that you are ignorant of the extent to which you
have insulted my friend.'" Raoul frowned at this remark.
"It sometimes happens--very often, indeed," pursued Porthos--"that my
friend has not been insulted at all; he has even been the first to give
offense; you can imagine, therefore, whether my language is not well
chosen." And Porthos burst into a peal of laughter.
"Decidedly," said Raoul to himself, while the formidable thunder of
Porthos' laughter was ringing in his ears, "I am very unfortunate. De
Guiche treats me with coldness, D'Artagnan with ridicule, Porthos is too
tame; no one will settle this affair in my way. And I came to Porthos
because I wished to find a sword instead of cold reasoning at my
service. How my ill-luck follows me."
Porthos, who had recovered himself, continued: "By a simple expression,
I leave my adversary without an excuse."
"That is as it may happen," said Raoul, distractedly.
"Not at all, it is quite certain. I have not left him an excuse; and
then it is that I display all my courtesy, in order to attain the happy
issue of my project. I advance, therefore, with an air of great
politeness, and, taking my adversary by the hand, I say to him: 'Now
that you are convinced of having given the offense, we are sure of
reparation; between my friend and yourself, the future can only offer an
exchange of mutual courtesies of conduct, and, consequently, my mission
is to give you the length of my friend's sword.'"
"What!" said Raoul.
"Wait a minute. 'The length of my friend's sword. My horse is waiting
below; my friend is in such and such a spot, and is impatiently awaiting
your agreeable society; I will take you with me; we can call upon your
second as we go along;' and the affair is arranged."
"And so," said Raoul, pale with vexation, "you reconcile the two
adversaries on the ground."
"I beg your pardon," interrupted Porthos. "Reconcile! What for?"
"You said that the affair was arranged."
"Of course! since my friend is waiting for him."
"Well! what then? If he is waiting--"
"Well! if he is waiting, it is merely to stretch his legs a little. The
adversary, on the contrary, is stiff from riding; they place themselves
in proper order, and my friend kills his opponent, and the affair is
ended."
"Ah! he kills him, then?" cried Raoul.
"I should think so," said Porthos. "Is it likely I should ever have as a
friend a man who allows himself to get killed? I have a hundred and one
friends: at the head of the list stand your father, Aramis, and
D'Artagnan, all of whom are living and well, I believe."
"Oh! my dear baron," exclaimed Raoul, delightedly, as he embraced
Porthos.
"You approve of my method, then?" said the giant.
"I approve of it so thoroughly, that I shall have recourse to it this
very day, without a moment's delay--at once, in fact. You are the very
man I have been looking for."
"Good; here I am, then; you want to fight, I suppose?"
"Absolutely so."
"It is very natural. With whom?"
"With M. de Saint-Aignan."
"I know him--a most agreeable man, who was exceedingly polite to me the
day I had the honor of dining with the king. I shall certainly
acknowledge his politeness in return, even if it had not happened to be
my usual custom. So, he has given you offense?"
"A mortal offense."
"The deuce! I can say so, I suppose?"
"More than that, even, if you like."
"That is a very great convenience."
"I may look upon it as one of your arranged affairs, may I not?" said
Raoul, smiling.
"As a matter of course. Where will you be waiting for him?"
"Ah! I forgot; it is a very delicate matter. M. de Saint-Aignan is a
very great friend of the king's."
"So I have heard it said."
"So that if I kill him--"
"Oh! you will kill him, certainly; you must take every precaution to do
so. But there is no difficulty in these matters now; if you had lived in
our early days, oh! that was something like!"
"My dear friend, you have not quite understood me. I mean, that, M. de
Saint-Aignan being a friend of the king, the affair will be more
difficult to manage, since the king might learn beforehand--"
"Oh! no; that is not likely. You know my method: 'Monsieur, you have
injured my friend, and--'"
"Yes, I know it."
"And then: 'Monsieur, I have horses below,' I carry him off before he
can have spoken to any one."
"Will he allow himself to be carried off like that?"
"I should think so! I should like to see it fail. It would be the first
time, if it did. It is true, though, that the young men of the present
day--Bah! I would carry him off bodily, if that were all," and Porthos,
adding gesture to speech, lifted Raoul and the chair he was sitting on
off the ground, and carried them round the room.
"Very good," said Raoul, laughing. "All we have to do is to state the
grounds of the quarrel to M. de Saint-Aignan."
"Well, but that is done, it seems."
"No, my dear M. de Valon, the usage of the present day requires that the
cause of the quarrel should be explained."
"Very good. Tell me what it is, then."
"The fact is--"
"Deuce take it! see how troublesome this is. In former days, we never
had any occasion to say anything about the matter. People fought then
for the sake of fighting; and I, for one, know no better reason than
that."
"You are quite right, M. de Valon."
"However, tell me what the cause is."
"It is too long a story to tell; only as one must particularize to some
extent, and as, on the other hand, the affair is full of difficulties,
and requires the most absolute secrecy, you will have the kindness
merely to tell M. de Saint-Aignan that he has, in the first place,
insulted me by changing his lodgings."
"By changing his lodgings? Good," said Porthos, who began to count on
his fingers--"next?"
"Then in getting a trap-door made in his new apartments."
"I understand," said Porthos; "a trap-door; upon my word this is very
serious; you ought to be furious at that. What the deuce does the fellow
mean by getting trap-doors made without first consulting you?
Trap-doors! mordioux! I haven't got any, except in my dungeons at
Bracieux."
"And you will add," said Raoul, "that my last motive for considering
myself insulted is, the portrait that M. de Saint-Aignan well knows."
"Is it possible? A portrait, too! A change of residence, a trap-door,
and a portrait! Why, my dear friend, with but one of those causes of
complaint there is enough, and more than enough, for all the gentlemen
in France and Spain to cut each other's throats, and that is saying but
very little."
"Well, my dear friend, you are furnished with all you need, I suppose?"
"I shall take a second horse with me. Select your own rendezvous, and
while you are waiting there you can practice some of the best passes, so
as to get your limbs as elastic as possible."
"Thank you. I shall be waiting for you in the wood of Vincennes, close
to Minimes."
"All's right, then. Where am I to find this M. de Saint-Aignan?"
"At the Palais Royal."
Porthos rang a huge handbell. "My court suit," he said to the servant
who answered the summons, "my horse, and a led horse to accompany me."
Then, turning to Raoul as soon as the servant had quitted the room, he
said, "Does your father know anything about this?"
"No; I am going to write to him."
"And D'Artagnan?"
"No, nor D'Artagnan, either. He is very cautious, you know, and might
have diverted me from my purpose."
"D'Artagnan is a sound adviser, though," said Porthos, astonished that,
in his own loyal faith in D'Artagnan, anyone could have thought of
himself, so long as there was a D'Artagnan in the world.
"Dear M. de Valon," replied Raoul, "do not question me any more, I
implore you. I have told you all that I had to say; it is prompt action
that I now expect, as sharp and decided as you know how to arrange it.
That, indeed, is my reason for having chosen you."
"You will be satisfied with me," replied Porthos.
"Do not forget, either, that except ourselves, no one must know anything
of this meeting."
"People always find these things out," said Porthos, "when a dead body
is discovered in a wood. But I promise you everything, my dear friend,
except concealing the dead body. There it is, and it must be seen, as a
matter of course. It is a principle of mine not to bury bodies. That has
a smack of the assassin about it. Every risk must run its own risk."
"To work, then, my dear friend."
"Rely upon me," said the giant, finishing the bottle, while the servant
spread out upon a sofa the gorgeously-decorated dress trimmed with lace.
Raoul left the room, saying to himself, with a secret delight,
"Perfidious king! traitorous monarch! I cannot reach thee. I do not wish
it; for kings are sacred objects. But your friend, your accomplice, your
panderer--the coward who represents you--shall pay for your crime. I
will kill him in thy name, and afterward we will think of Louise."