1. _Bacon à la Dormitory._ Procure a piece of bacon, and cut it into
strips. Impale these, one at a time, on a penholder, and frizzle them
slowly over the dormitory gas. (Care should be taken that the tutor
is out, as the fragrance caused by the bacon is considerable.) When
sufficiently done, chop up with penknives, and serve hot. Condensed
milk should be drunk with this dish.
2. _Marrons à la Poppleton._ Place some chestnuts between the bars of
the fireplace. Do not break the skins. Presently the roasted nuts will
fly into the room with a loud report, and much amusement will be caused
if they happen to hit anybody on the face. They may then be picked up
and eaten. Sherbet is an appropriate drink with which to accompany them.
Yours ever,
WILLIAM.