HOW IT WAS LOST.

Among green New England hills stood an ancient house, many-gabled,

mossy-roofed, and quaintly built, but picturesque and pleasant to the

eye; for a brook ran babbling through the orchard that encompassed it

about, a garden-plot stretched upward to the whispering birches on the

slope, and patriarchal elms stood sentinel upon the lawn, as they had

stood almost a century ago, when the Revolution rolled that way and

found them young.

One summer morning, when the air was full of country sounds, of mowers

in the meadow, blackbirds by the brook, and the low of kine upon the

hill-side, the old house wore its cheeriest aspect, and a certain

humble history began.

"Nan!"

"Yes, Di."

And a head, brown-locked, blue-eyed, soft-featured, looked in at the

open door in answer to the call.

"Just bring me the third volume of 'Wilhelm Meister,'--there's a dear.

It's hardly worth while to rouse such a restless ghost as I, when I'm

once fairly laid."

As she spoke, Di pushed up her black braids, thumped the pillow of the

couch where she was lying, and with eager eyes went down the last page

of her book.

"Nan!"

"Yes, Laura," replied the girl, coming back with the third volume for

the literary cormorant, who took it with a nod, still too intent upon

the "Confessions of a Fair Saint" to remember the failings of a

certain plain sinner.

"Don't forget the Italian cream for dinner. I depend upon it; for it's

the only thing fit for me this hot weather."

And Laura, the cool blonde, disposed the folds of her white gown more

gracefully about her, and touched up the eyebrow of the Minerva she

was drawing.

"Little daughter!"

"Yes, father."

"Let me have plenty of clean collars in my bag, for I must go at

three; and some of you bring me a glass of cider in about an hour;--I

shall be in the lower garden."

The old man went away into his imaginary paradise, and Nan into that

domestic purgatory on a summer day,--the kitchen. There were vines

about the windows, sunshine on the floor, and order everywhere; but it

was haunted by a cooking-stove, that family altar whence such varied

incense rises to appease the appetite of household gods, before which

such dire incantations are pronounced to ease the wrath and woe of the

priestess of the fire, and about which often linger saddest memories

of wasted temper, time, and toil.

Nan was tired, having risen with the birds,--hurried, having many

cares those happy little housewives never know,--and disappointed in a

hope that hourly "dwindled, peaked, and pined." She was too young to

make the anxious lines upon her forehead seem at home there, too

patient to be burdened with the labor others should have shared, too

light of heart to be pent up when earth and sky were keeping a blithe

holiday. But she was one of that meek sisterhood who, thinking humbly

of themselves, believe they are honored by being spent in the service

of less conscientious souls, whose careless thanks seem quite reward

enough.

To and fro she went, silent and diligent, giving the grace of

willingness to every humble or distasteful task the day had brought

her; but some malignant sprite seemed to have taken possession of her

kingdom, for rebellion broke out everywhere. The kettles would boil

over most obstreperously,--the mutton refused to cook with the meek

alacrity to be expected from the nature of a sheep,--the stove, with

unnecessary warmth of temper, would glow like a fiery furnace,--the

irons would scorch,--the linens would dry,--and spirits would fail,

though patience never.

Nan tugged on, growing hotter and wearier, more hurried and more

hopeless, till at last the crisis came; for in one fell moment she

tore her gown, burnt her hand, and smutched the collar she was

preparing to finish in the most unexceptionable style. Then, if she

had been a nervous woman, she would have scolded; being a gentle girl,

she only "lifted up her voice and wept."

"Behold, she watereth her linen with salt tears, and bewaileth herself

because of much tribulation. But, lo! help cometh from afar: a strong

man bringeth lettuce wherewith to stay her, plucketh berries to

comfort her withal, and clasheth cymbals that she may dance for joy."

The voice came from the porch, and, with her hope fulfilled, Nan

looked up to greet John Lord, the house-friend, who stood there with a

basket on his arm; and as she saw his honest eyes, kind lips, and

helpful hands, the girl thought this plain young man the comeliest,

most welcome sight she had beheld that day.

"How good of you, to come through all this heat, and not to laugh at

my despair!" she said, looking up like a grateful child, as she led

him in.

"I only obeyed orders, Nan; for a certain dear old lady had a motherly

presentiment that you had got into a domestic whirlpool, and sent me

as a sort of life-preserver. So I took the basket of consolation, and

came to fold my feet upon the carpet of contentment in the tent of

friendship."

As he spoke, John gave his own gift in his mother's name, and bestowed

himself in the wide window-seat, where morning-glories nodded at him,

and the old butternut sent pleasant shadows dancing to and fro.

His advent, like that of Orpheus in Hades, seemed to soothe all

unpropitious powers with a sudden spell. The fire began to slacken,

the kettles began to lull, the meat began to cook, the irons began to

cool, the clothes began to behave, the spirits began to rise, and the

collar was finished off with most triumphant success. John watched the

change, and, though a lord of creation, abased himself to take

compassion on the weaker vessel, and was seized with a great desire to

lighten the homely tasks that tried her strength of body and soul. He

took a comprehensive glance about the room; then, extracting a dish

from the closet, proceeded to imbrue his hands in the strawberries'

blood.

"Oh, John, you needn't do that; I shall have time when I've turned the

meat, made the pudding, and done these things. See, I'm getting on

finely now;--you're a judge of such matters; isn't that nice?"

As she spoke, Nan offered the polished absurdity for inspection with

innocent pride.

"Oh that I were a collar, to sit upon that hand!" sighed

John,--adding, argumentatively, "As to the berry question, I might

answer it with a gem from Dr. Watts, relative to 'Satan' and 'idle

hands,' but will merely say, that, as a matter of public safety, you'd

better leave me alone; for such is the destructiveness of my nature,

that I shall certainly eat something hurtful, break something

valuable, or sit upon something crushable, unless you let me

concentrate my energies by knocking off these young fellows' hats, and

preparing them for their doom."

Looking at the matter in a charitable light, Nan consented, and went

cheerfully on with her work, wondering how she could have thought

ironing an infliction, and been so ungrateful for the blessings of her

lot.

"Where's Sally?" asked John, looking vainly for the energetic

functionary who usually pervaded that region like a domestic

police-woman, a terror to cats, dogs, and men.

"She has gone to her cousin's funeral, and won't be back till Monday.

There seems to be a great fatality among her relations; for one dies,

or comes to grief in some way, about once a month. But I don't blame

poor Sally for wanting to get away from this place now and then. I

think I could find it in my heart to murder an imaginary friend or

two, if I had to stay here long."

And Nan laughed so blithely, it was a pleasure to hear her.

"Where's Di?" asked John, seized with a most unmasculine curiosity all

at once.

"She is in Germany with 'Wilhelm Meister'; but, though 'lost to sight,

to memory dear'; for I was just thinking, as I did her things, how

clever she is to like all kinds of books that I don't understand at

all, and to write things that make me cry with pride and delight. Yes,

she's a talented dear, though she hardly knows a needle from a

crowbar, and will make herself one great blot some of these days, when

the 'divine afflatus' descends upon her, I'm afraid."

And Nan rubbed away with sisterly zeal at Di's forlorn hose and inky

pocket-handkerchiefs.

"Where is Laura?" proceeded the inquisitor.

"Well, I might say that _she_ was in Italy; for she is copying some

fine thing of Raphael's, or Michel Angelo's, or some great creature's

or other; and she looks so picturesque in her pretty gown, sitting

before her easel, that it's really a sight to behold, and I've peeped

two or three times to see how she gets on."

And Nan bestirred herself to prepare the dish wherewith her

picturesque sister desired to prolong her artistic existence.

"Where is your father?" John asked again, checking off each answer

with a nod and a little frown.

"He is down in the garden, deep in some plan about melons, the

beginning of which seems to consist in stamping the first proposition

in Euclid all over the bed, and then poking a few seeds into the

middle of each. Why, bless the dear man! I forgot it was time for the

cider. Wouldn't you like to take it to him, John? He'd love to consult

you; and the lane is so cool, it does one's heart good to look at it."

John glanced from the steamy kitchen to the shadowy path, and answered

with a sudden assumption of immense industry,--

"I couldn't possibly go, Nan,--I've so much on my hands. You'll have

to do it yourself. 'Mr. Robert of Lincoln' has something for your

private ear; and the lane is so cool, it will do one's heart good to

see you in it. Give my regards to your father, and, in the words of

'Little Mabel's' mother, with slight variations,--

'Tell the dear old body

This day I cannot run,

For the pots are boiling over

And the mutton isn't done.'"

"I will; but please, John, go in to the girls and be comfortable; for

I don't like to leave you here," said Nan.

"You insinuate that I should pick at the pudding or invade the cream,

do you? Ungrateful girl, leave me!" And, with melodramatic sternness,

John extinguished her in his broad-brimmed hat, and offered the glass

like a poisoned goblet.

Nan took it, and went smiling away. But the lane might have been the

Desert of Sahara, for all she knew of it; and she would have passed

her father as unconcernedly as if he had been an apple-tree, had he

not called out,--

"Stand and deliver, little woman!"

She obeyed the venerable highway-man, and followed him to and fro,

listening to his plans and directions with a mute attention that quite

won his heart.

"That hop-pole is really an ornament now, Nan; this sage-bed needs

weeding,--that's good work for you girls; and, now I think of it,

you'd better water the lettuce in the cool of the evening, after I'm

gone."

To all of which remarks Nan gave her assent; though the hop-pole took

the likeness of a tall figure she had seen in the porch, the sage-bed,

curiously enough, suggested a strawberry ditto, the lettuce vividly

reminded her of certain vegetable productions a basket had brought,

and the bob-o-link only sung in his cheeriest voice, "Go home, go

home! he is there!"

She found John--he having made a freemason of himself, by assuming her

little apron--meditating over the partially spread table, lost in

amaze at its desolate appearance; one half its proper paraphernalia

having been forgotten, and the other half put on awry. Nan laughed

till the tears ran over her cheeks, and John was gratified at the

efficacy of his treatment; for her face had brought a whole harvest of

sunshine from the garden, and all her cares seemed to have been lost

in the windings of the lane.

"Nan, are you in hysterics?" cried Di, appearing, book in hand. "John,

you absurd man, what are you doing?"

"I'm helpin' the maid of all work, please marm." And John dropped a

curtsy with his limited apron.

Di looked ruffled, for the merry words were a covert reproach; and

with her usual energy of manner and freedom of speech she tossed

"Wilhelm" out of the window, exclaiming, irefully,--

"That's always the way; I'm never where I ought to be, and never think

of anything till it's too late; but it's all Goethe's fault. What does

he write books full of smart 'Phillinas' and interesting 'Meisters'

for? How can I be expected to remember that Sally's away, and people

must eat, when I'm hearing the 'Harper' and little 'Mignon'? John, how

dare you come here and do my work, instead of shaking me and telling

me to do it myself? Take that toasted child away, and fan her like a

Chinese mandarin, while I dish up this dreadful dinner."

John and Nan fled like chaff before the wind, while Di, full of

remorseful zeal, charged at the kettles, and wrenched off the

potatoes' jackets, as if she were revengefully pulling her own hair.

Laura had a vague intention of going to assist; but, getting lost

among the lights and shadows of Minerva's helmet, forgot to appear

till dinner had been evoked from chaos and peace was restored.

At three o'clock, Di performed the coronation-ceremony with her

father's best hat; Laura re-tied his old-fashioned neck-cloth, and

arranged his white locks with an eye to saintly effect; Nan appeared

with a beautifully written sermon, and suspicious ink-stains on the

fingers that slipped it into his pocket; John attached himself to the

bag; and the patriarch was escorted to the door of his tent with the

triumphal procession which usually attended his out-goings and

in-comings. Having kissed the female portion of his tribe, he ascended

the venerable chariot, which received him with audible lamentation, as

its rheumatic joints swayed to and fro.

"Good-bye, my dears! I shall be back early on Monday morning; so take

care of yourselves, and be sure you all go and hear Mr. Emerboy preach

to-morrow. My regards to your mother, John. Come, Solon!"

But Solon merely cocked one ear, and remained a fixed fact; for long

experience had induced the philosophic beast to take for his motto the

Yankee maxim, "Be sure you're right, then go ahead!" He knew things

were not right; therefore he did not go ahead.

"Oh, by-the-way, girls, don't forget to pay Tommy Mullein for bringing

up the cow: he expects it to-night. And, Di, don't sit up till

daylight, nor let Laura stay out in the dew. Now, I believe, I'm off.

Come, Solon!"

But Solon only cocked the other ear, gently agitated his mortified

tail, as premonitory symptoms of departure, and never stirred a hoof,

being well aware that it always took three "comes" to make a "go."

"Bless me! I've forgotten my spectacles. They are probably shut up in

that volume of Herbert on my table. Very awkward to find myself

without them ten miles away. Thank you, John. Don't neglect to water

the lettuce, Nan, and don't overwork yourself, my little 'Martha.'

Come"----

At this juncture, Solon suddenly went off, like "Mrs. Gamp," in a sort

of walking swoon, apparently deaf and blind to all mundane matters,

except the refreshments awaiting him ten miles away; and the benign

old pastor disappeared, humming "Hebron" to the creaking accompaniment

of the bulgy chaise.

Laura retired to take her _siesta_; Nan made a small _carbonaro_ of

herself by sharpening her sister's crayons, and Di, as a sort of

penance for past sins, tried her patience over a piece of knitting, in

which she soon originated a somewhat remarkable pattern, by dropping

every third stitch, and seaming _ad libitum_. If John had been a

gentlemanly creature, with refined tastes, he would have elevated his

feet and made a nuisance of himself by indulging in a "weed"; but

being only an uncultivated youth, with a rustic regard for pure air

and womankind in general, he kept his head uppermost, and talked like

a man, instead of smoking like a chimney.

"It will probably be six months before I sit here again, tangling your

threads and maltreating your needles, Nan. How glad you must feel to

hear it!" he said, looking up from a thoughtful examination of the

hard-working little citizens of the Industrial Community settled in

Nan's work-basket.

"No, I'm very sorry; for I like to see you coming and going as you

used to, years ago, and I miss you very much when you are gone, John,"

answered truthful Nan, whittling away in a sadly wasteful manner, as

her thoughts flew back to the happy times when a little lad rode a

little lass in the big wheelbarrow, and never spilt his load,--when

two brown heads bobbed daily side by side to school, and the favorite

play was "Babes in the Wood," with Di for a somewhat peckish robin to

cover the small martyrs with any vegetable substance that lay at hand.

Nan sighed, as she thought of these things, and John regarded the

battered thimble on his fingertip with increased benignity of aspect

as he heard the sound.

"When are you going to make your fortune, John, and get out of that

disagreeable hardware concern?" demanded Di, pausing after an exciting

"round," and looking almost as much exhausted as if it had been a

veritable pugilistic encounter.

"I intend to make it by plunging still deeper into 'that disagreeable

hardware concern'; for, next year, if the world keeps rolling, and

John Lord is alive, he will become a partner, and then--and then"----

The color sprang up into the young man's cheek, his eyes looked out

with a sudden shine, and his hand seemed involuntarily to close, as if

he saw and seized some invisible delight.

"What will happen then, John?" asked Nan, with a wondering glance.

"I'll tell you in a year, Nan,--wait till then." And John's strong

hand unclosed, as if the desired good were not to be his yet.

Di looked at him, with a knitting-needle stuck into her hair, saying,

like a sarcastic unicorn,--

"I really thought you had a soul above pots and kettles, but I see you

haven't; and I beg your pardon for the injustice I have done you."

Not a whit disturbed, John smiled, as if at some mighty pleasant fancy

of his own, as he replied,--

"Thank you, Di; and as a further proof of the utter depravity of my

nature, let me tell you that I have the greatest possible respect for

those articles of ironmongery. Some of the happiest hours of my life

have been spent in their society; some of my pleasantest associations

are connected with them; some of my best lessons have come to me from

among them; and when my fortune is made, I intend to show my gratitude

by taking three flat-irons rampant for my coat of arms."

Nan laughed merrily, as she looked at the burns on her hand; but Di

elevated the most prominent feature of her brown countenance, and

sighed despondingly,--

"Dear, dear, what a disappointing world this is! I no sooner build a

nice castle in Spain, and settle a smart young knight therein, than

down it comes about my ears; and the ungrateful youth, who might fight

dragons, if he chose, insists on quenching his energies in a saucepan,

and making a Saint Lawrence of himself by wasting his life on a series

of gridirons. Ah, if _I_ were only a man, I would do something better

than that, and prove that heroes are not all dead yet. But, instead of

that, I'm only a woman, and must sit rasping my temper with

absurdities like this." And Di wrestled with her knitting as if it

were Fate, and she were paying off the grudge she owed it.

John leaned toward her, saying, with a look that made his plain face

handsome,--

"Di, my father began the world as I begin it, and left it the richer

for the useful years he spent here,--as I hope I may leave it some

half-century hence. His memory makes that dingy shop a pleasant place

to me; for there he made an honest name, led an honest life, and

bequeathed to me his reverence for honest work. That is a sort of

hardware, Di, that no rust can corrupt, and which will always prove a

better fortune than any your knights can achieve with sword and

shield. I think I am not quite a clod, or quite without some

aspirations above money-getting; for I sincerely desire that courage

which makes daily life heroic by self-denial and cheerfulness of

heart; I am eager to conquer my own rebellious nature, and earn the

confidence of innocent and upright souls; I have a great ambition to

become as good a man and leave as green a memory behind me as old John

Lord."

Di winked violently, and seamed five times in perfect silence; but

quiet Nan had the gift of knowing when to speak, and by a timely word

saved her sister from a thunder-shower and her stocking from

destruction.

"John, have you seen Philip since you wrote about your last meeting

with him?"

The question was for John, but the soothing tone was for Di, who

gratefully accepted it, and perked up again--with speed.

"Yes; and I meant to have told you about it," answered John, plunging

into the subject at once. "I saw him a few days before I came home,

and found him more disconsolate than ever,--'just ready to go to the

Devil,' as he forcibly expressed himself. I consoled the poor lad as

well as I could, telling him his wisest plan was to defer his proposed

expedition, and go on as steadily as he had begun,--thereby proving

the injustice of your father's prediction concerning his want of

perseverance, and the sincerity of his affection. I told him the

change in Laura's health and spirits was silently working in his

favor, and that a few more months of persistent endeavor would conquer

your father's prejudice against him, and make him a stronger man for

the trial and the pain. I read him bits about Laura from your own and

Di's letters, and he went away at last as patient as Jacob, ready to

serve another 'seven years' for his beloved Rachel."

"God bless you for it, John!" cried a fervent voice; and, looking up,

they saw the cold, listless Laura transformed into a tender girl, all

aglow with love and longing, as she dropped her mask, and showed a

living countenance eloquent with the first passion and softened by the

first grief of her life.

John rose involuntarily in the presence of an innocent nature whose

sorrow needed no interpreter to him. The girl read sympathy in his

brotherly regard, and found comfort in the friendly voice that asked,

half playfully, half seriously,--

"Shall I tell him that he is not forgotten, even for an Apollo? that

Laura the artist has not conquered Laura the woman? and predict that

the good daughter will yet prove the happy wife?"

With a gesture full of energy, Laura tore her Minerva from top to

bottom, while two great tears rolled down the cheeks grown wan with

hope deferred.

"Tell him I believe all things, hope all things, and that I never can

forget."

Nan went to her and held her fast, leaving the prints of two loving,

but grimy hands upon her shoulders; Di looked on approvingly, for,

though rather stony-hearted regarding the cause, she fully appreciated

the effect; and John, turning to the window, received the

commendations of a robin swaying on an elm-bough with sunshine on its

ruddy breast.

The clock struck five, and John declared that he must go; for, being

an old-fashioned soul, he fancied that his mother had a better right

to his last hour than any younger woman in the land,--always

remembering that "she was a widow, and he her only son."

Nan ran away to wash her hands, and came back with the appearance of

one who had washed her face also: and so she had; but there was a

difference in the water.

"Play I'm your father, girls, and remember it will be six months

before 'that John' will trouble you again."

With which preface the young man kissed his former playfellows as

heartily as the boy had been wont to do, when stern parents banished

him to distant schools, and three little maids bemoaned his fate. But

times were changed now; for Di grew alarmingly rigid during the

ceremony; Laura received the salute like a grateful queen; and Nan

returned it with heart and eyes and tender lips, making such an

improvement on the childish fashion of the thing, that John was moved

to support his paternal character by softly echoing her father's

words,--"Take care of yourself, my little 'Martha.'"

Then they all streamed after him along the garden-path, with the

endless messages and warnings girls are so prone to give; and the

young man, with a great softness at his heart, went away, as many

another John has gone, feeling better for the companionship of

innocent maidenhood, and stronger to wrestle with temptation, to wait

and hope and work.

"Let's throw a shoe after him for luck, as dear old 'Mrs. Gummage' did

after 'David' and the 'willin' Barkis!' Quick, Nan! you always have

old shoes on; toss one, and shout, 'Good luck!'" cried Di, with one of

her eccentric inspirations.

Nan tore off her shoe, and threw it far along the dusty road, with a

sudden longing to become that auspicious article of apparel, that the

omen might not fail.

Looking backward from the hill-top, John answered the meek shout

cheerily, and took in the group with a lingering glance: Laura in the

shadow of the elms, Di perched on the fence, and Nan leaning far over

the gate with her hand above her eyes and the sunshine touching her

brown hair with gold. He waved his hat and turned away; but the music

seemed to die out of the blackbird's song, and in all the summer

landscape his eye saw nothing but the little figure at the gate.

"Bless and save us! here's a flock of people coming; my hair is in a

toss, and Nan's without her shoe; run! fly, girls! or the Philistines

will be upon us!" cried Di, tumbling off her perch in sudden alarm.

Three agitated young ladies, with flying draperies and countenances of

mingled mirth and dismay, might have been seen precipitating

themselves into a respectable mansion with unbecoming haste; but the

squirrels were the only witnesses of this "vision of sudden flight,"

and, being used to ground-and-lofty tumbling, didn't mind it.

When the pedestrians passed, the door was decorously closed, and no

one visible but a young man, who snatched something out of the road,

and marched away again, whistling with more vigor of tone than

accuracy of tune, "Only that, and nothing more."

* * * * *

The Atlantic Monthly, Volume 06, No. 36, October, 1860 A Magazine Of Literature, Art, And Politics · 第 14 / 44 题