Dated From Adelaide.
Imagine my wonder! Uncle Jack has just been with me, and--But hear the
dialogue.
Uncle Jack.--"So you are positively going back to that smoky, fusty Old
England, just when you are on your high road to a plum,--a plum, sir, at
least! They all say there is not a more rising young man in the colony.
I think Bullion would take you into partnership. What are you in such a
hurry for?"
Pisistratus.--"To see my father and mother and Uncle Roland, and--" (was
about to name some one else, but stops). "You see, my dear uncle, I came
out solely with the idea of repairing my father's losses in that
unfortunate speculation of 'The Capitalist'!"
Uncle Jack (coughs and ejaculates).--"That villain Peck!"
Pisistratus.--"And to have a few thousands to invest in poor Roland's
acres. The object is achieved: why should I stay?"
Uncle Jack.--"A few paltry thousands, when in twenty years more, at the
farthest, you would wallow in gold!"
Pisistratus.--"A man learns in the Bush how happy life can be with
plenty of employment and very little money. I shall practise that
lesson in England."
Uncle Jack.--"Your mind's made up?"
Pisistratus.--"And my place in the ship taken."
Uncle Jack.--"Then there's no more to be said." (Hums, haws, and
examines his nails,--filbert-nails, not a speck on them. Then suddenly,
and jerking up his head) "That 'Capitalist'! it has been on my
conscience, nephew, ever since; and, somehow or other, since I have
abandoned the cause of my fellow-creatures, I think I have cared more
for my relations."
Pisistratus (smiling as he remembers his father's shrewd predictions
thereon).--"Naturally, my dear uncle; any child who has thrown a stone
into a pond knows that a circle disappears as it widens."
Uncle Jack.--"Very true,--I shall make a note of that, applicable to my
next speech in defence of what they call the 'land monopoly.' Thank
you,--stone, circle! [Jots down notes in his pocket-book.] But to
return to the point: I am well off now, I have neither wife nor child,
and I feel that I ought to bear my share in your father's loss,--it was
our joint speculation. And your father--good, dear Austin!--paid my
debts into the bargain. And how cheering the punch was that night, when
your mother wanted to scold poor Jack! And the L300 Austin lent me when
I left him: nephew, that was the remaking of me,--the acorn of the oak I
have planted. So here they are [added Uncle Jack, with a heroical
effort, and he extracted from the pocket-book bills for a sum between
three and four thousand pounds]. There, it is done; and I shall sleep
better for it!" With that Uncle Jack got up, and bolted out of the
room.
Ought I to take the money? Why, I think yes,--it is but fair. Jack
must be really rich, and can well spare the money; besides, if he wants
it again, I know my father will let him have it. And, indeed, Jack
caused the loss of the whole sum lost on "The Capitalist," etc.: and
this is not quite the half of what my father paid away. But is it not
fine in Uncle Jack? Well, my father was quite right in his milder
estimate of Jack's scalene conformation, and it is hard to judge of a
man when he is needy and down in the world. When one grafts one's ideas
on one's neighbor's money, they are certainly not so grand as when they
spring from one's own.
Uncle Jack (popping his head into the room).--"And, you see, you can
double that money if you will just leave it in my hands for a couple of
years,--you have no notion what I shall make of the Tibbets' Wheal! Did
I tell you? The German was quite right; I have been offered already
seven times the sum which I gave for the land. But I am now looking out
for a company: let me put you down for shares to the amount at least of
those trumpery bills. Cent per cent,--I guarantee cent per cent!" And
Uncle Jack stretches out those famous smooth hands of his, with a
tremulous motion of the ten eloquent fingers.
Pisistratus.--"Ah! my dear uncle, if you repent--"
Uncle Jack.--"Repent, when I offer you cent per cent, on my personal
guarantee!"
Pisistratus (carefully putting the bills into his breast coat-pocket).--
"Then if you don't repent, my dear uncle, allow me to shake you by the
hand and say that I will not consent to lessen my esteem and admiration
for the high principle which prompts this restitution, by confounding it
with trading associations of loans, interests, and copper-mines. And,
you see, since this sum is paid to my father, I have no right to invest
it without his permission."
Uncle Jack (with emotion). "'Esteem, admiration, high principle!'--these
are pleasant words from you, nephew. [Then, shaking his head, and
smiling] You sly dog! you are quite right; get the bills cashed at
once. And hark ye, sir, just keep out of my way, will you? And don't
let me coax from you a farthing." Uncle Jack slams the door and rushes
out. Pisistratus draws the bills warily from his pocket, half
suspecting they must already have turned into withered leaves, like
fairy money; slowly convinces himself that the bills are good bills; and
by lively gestures testifies his delight and astonishment. Scene
changes.