JOLLYING PEE-WEE
That’s the reason I’ll never trust a gentle breeze. In books you find
all kinds of nice things about gentle breezes, but look out for them,
that’s what I say. Whenever I leave my bathing suit on the grass to dry,
I lay a good big rock on it, you can bet. I’d trust Skinny with a
hundred dollars, I would, and Westy too, but gentle breezes—Nix.
They’re so plaguy sly and sneaky like.
Westy and I went and bought a dandy copy of _Treasure Island_ for the
library. It cost us a quarter more than my two dollars, but we should
worry.
Now I have to tell you one other thing that happened before we got
started on our cruise, especially because it has a lot to do with our
cruise.
The next morning we all went back to Northside Woods to tie up the
saplings and drag them over to the river. Then we were going to use a
rowboat and tow them down and maybe float some of them down. I told you
about our old launch, but it’s too shallow to use a launch up as far as
Northside Woods.
[Illustration: “WE TOWED THE SAPLINGS AND STARTED DOWN STREAM.”]
All the fellows were there except Skinny, because the doctor made him
stay home on account of being all played out. I bet that doctor had some
scrap with him. One thing sure, Westy and I stuck together. By noontime
we had all the stuff hauled over to the river and some odds and ends of
kindling wood besides, to take in the house-boat.
We filled the rowboat with the small stuff and towed the saplings and
started downstream that way. The tide was running up and it was almost
full and we had some job bucking it. Some of the fellows wanted to wait
till it turned and come down with it. But I said that would be an hour
maybe and that if the tide didn’t want to turn and go with us, we should
worry.
Now that there wasn’t anything left to do, but tow the stuff down, all
the fellows except Westy and I and Pee-wee started to hike it home. We
said we’d take him with us in the boat so that he could bail, because
that boat is built like a sieve.
“If it keeps on leaking like that,” I said, “there won’t be any water
left in the river—it’ll all be in the boat.”
“It’s pretty hard bucking the tide,” Westy said.
“And we’re going up hill besides, too,” I told him; “remember that.”
Well, you should have seen Pee-wee. “What are you talking about—up
hill!” he shouted.
“When we begin going down hill,” I said, all the while winking at Westy,
“she’ll go easier, thank goodness.”
“We’ll have to put on the brakes,” Westy said. “Do you know why they
talk about _towing_ lumber?” I asked Pee-wee; “because it’s measured by
the _foot_.”
“You’re crazy!” he shouted.
“Just the same as when they use it for back fences, it’s measured by the
_yard_,” Westy said, all sober like.
“Sure—back—yard,” I said.
“You think you can jolly me, don’t you?” Pee-wee shouted.
“You just keep on bailing,” I said, “and don’t stop. When the tide
begins turning you won’t have to bail so fast.”
Jiminy, Pee-wee didn’t know what to think—whether I was kidding him or
not. “Why won’t I?” he wanted to know.
“Because it will be going the other way,” I said, “see? It’ll be flowing
away from the boat.”
Oh, boy! Pee-wee just emptied the bailing can down my neck.
And that’s the way it was all the way down. Cracky, but we had Pee-wee
so crazy that he’d bail up a can of water out of one end of the boat and
empty it in the other end.
“What’s the difference whether it’s inside or outside?” Westy said, “as
long as it’s there. I bet there’s a lot of canned salmon in this river.”
“Canned what?” Pee-wee shouted.
“Keep on bailing,” I said; “canned salmon is what he said, but I think
there are more pickled herrings. There’s lots of pickled herrings in the
Hudson, I know that.”
“You mean smoked herring,” Westy said, all the while rowing and looking
around very sober like at me.
Oh, boy, didn’t Pee-wee open his eyes and stare! He didn’t know whether
to take it for a joke or not—we were so serious.
“I suppose it’s on account of the smoke from the big Hudson River
boats,” I said, “just the same as Oyster Bay.”
“What about Oyster Bay?” Pee-wee shouted.
“When the water gets all stewed up in rough weather, they get stewed
oysters.”
“Not always,” Westy said.
“No, but most of the time,” I said.
“Oh, sure,” Westy said, “but I’ve seen lots of red lobsters that didn’t
come from Red Bank——”
“It’s boiling makes them red; you big galook!” Pee-wee yelled.
“Oh, sure,” I said, not paying any attention to him, but all the while
rowing hard and looking around very sober like at Westy, “because I know
there are lots of bluefish caught near Greenland and you’d think by
rights they ought to be green.”
“Sure,” Westy said, “just the same as the fish caught in American River
out west, are red, white and blue.”
“And stars,” I said.
“Sure the river’s full of starfish and striped mackerel—stars and
stripes. That’s why you have to stand up in the boat if you’re rowing on
that river.”
“Oh, sure,” Westy said, “that’s why so many boats get upset.”
Good night! you should have seen Pee-wee.
“Keep on bailing, kiddo,” I said, “keep plenty of water in the river.”
“Maybe it would be better to let a little more come into the boat,”
Westy said, “so as to lower the water in the river, so we can get under
the bridge.”
“The both of you make me tired!” Pee-wee yelled; “do you think I believe
all that stuff?”
Good night, some circus! It’s always that way when Westy and I get out
with Pee-wee.
Pretty soon we heard a loud whistling and we wondered what it was,
because it didn’t sound like a train and it sure wasn’t on a motor-boat.
Then Westy began asking what we were going to do about power after we
got our stanchions and bumper-sticks and all that fixed. I said we’d
have to get Jake Holden to tow us down around into the Hudson and then
get somebody to tow us up. Westy said Mr. Ellsworth thought it would be
cheaper to take our little three horsepower engine out of our launch and
install it in the houseboat.
I said, “That would be all right, only it would kick us along so slow
that we’d spend all our vacation on the trip and wouldn’t have any time
at camp.” Cracky, I didn’t want to start back as soon as we got there.
“Well, then, there’s only one thing to do,” Westy said, “and that’s for
us to get towed and that costs a lot of money.”
All the while the whistling kept up and it was awful loud and shrill,
sort of, as if it was mad—you know how I mean.
“I know what it is,” I said; “it’s somebody waiting for the bridge to be
opened.”
“Good night, they stand a tall chance,” Westy said.
“It’s a tug, that’s what it is,” Pee-wee said; “I can see the smoke.
It’s going up in a big column.”
“It’s more than a column, its a whole volume,” Westy said, looking
around. “There must be books on that boat; the smoke is coming out in
volumes.”
All the while we were getting nearer to the bridge and it was easier
rowing, because the tide was on the turn.
Now maybe if you fellows that read this don’t live in the country where
there’s a river, you won’t understand about tides and bridges and all
that. So I’ll tell you how it is, because, gee, we’re used to all that,
us fellows.
Jimmy Van Dorian, he lives right near the bridge in a little shanty and
he’s lame and he’s a bridge tender. You don’t get much for being a
bridge tender and mostly old veterans are bridge tenders. Anyway, they
don’t get much out our way, because big boats don’t come up and they
don’t have to open the bridge often.
When we got down to the bridge we saw that the tide was right up so we
even had to duck our heads to get under, and right on the other side of
the bridge was a tugboat standing facing upstream and its whistle was
screeching and screeching just like a dog stands and barks when he’s
mad. It seemed awful funny because it was a small tug and it made so
much noise.
“It ought to be named the Pee-wee,” Westy said.
“Nobody’s paying much attention to it,” I told him.
Just as we came under the bridge we could see a big fat man, oh,
Christopher, wasn’t he fat, standing up in the pilot house pulling and
pulling the whistle rope, for the bridge to open. Sometimes he’d pull it
very fast, just like you do with the receiver on the telephone when
you’re good and mad because Central don’t answer. And it was pretty near
as bad as the telephone, too, because he went on tooting and tooting and
tooting and nobody paid any attention to him.