I have waited with great patience, restraining, as much as possible,
every anxious idea for three months. But now every vessel which arrives
sets my expectation upon the wing, and I pray my guardian genius to waft
me the happy tidings of your safety and welfare. Hitherto my wandering
ideas have roved, like the son of Ulysses, from sea to sea, and from
shore to shore, not knowing where to find you; sometimes I fancied you
upon the mighty waters, sometimes at your desired haven, sometimes upon
the ungrateful and hostile shore of Britain, but at all times, and in
all places, under the protecting care and guardianship of that Being who
not only clothes the lilies of the field, and hears the young ravens
when they cry, but hath said, "Of how much more worth are ye than many
sparrows;" and this confidence, which the world cannot deprive me of, is
my food by day and my rest by night, and was all my consolation under
the horrid ideas of assassination,--the only event of which I had not
thought, and in some measure prepared my mind.
When my imagination sets you down upon the Gallic shore, a land to which
Americans are now bound to transfer their affections, and to eradicate
all those national prejudices which the proud and haughty nation whom we
once revered craftily instilled into us, whom they once styled their
children, I anticipate the pleasure you must feel, and, though so many
leagues distant, share in the joy of finding the great interest of our
country so generously espoused and nobly aided by so powerful a monarch.
Your prospects must be much brightened; for when you left your native
land they were rather gloomy. If an unwearied zeal and persevering
attachment to the cause of truth and justice, regardless of the
allurements of ambition on the one hand or the threats of calamity on
the other, can entitle any one to the reward of peace, liberty, and
safety, a large portion of those blessings are reserved for my friend in
his native land.
"Oh, wouldst thou keep thy country's loud applause,
Loved as her father, as her God adored,
Be still the bold asserter of her cause,
Her voice in council; (in the fight her sword;)
In peace, in war, pursue thy country's good:
For her, bare thy bold breast and pour thy generous blood."
Difficult as the day is, cruel as this war has been, separated as I am,
on account of it, from the dearest connection in life, I would not
exchange my country for the wealth of the Indies, or be any other than
an American, though I might be queen or empress of any nation upon the
globe. My soul is unambitious of pomp or power. Beneath my humble roof,
blessed with the society and tenderest affection of my dear partner, I
have enjoyed as much felicity and as exquisite happiness as falls to the
share of mortals. And, though I have been called to sacrifice to my
country, I can glory in my sacrifice and derive pleasure from my
intimate connection with one who is esteemed worthy of the important
trust devolved upon him.
Britain, as usual, has added insult to injustice and cruelty, by what
she calls a conciliatory plan. From my soul I despise her meanness; but
she has long ago lost that treasure which, a great authority tells us,
exalteth a nation, and is receiving the reproaches due to her crimes. I
have been much gratified with the perusal of the Duke of Richmond's
speech. Were there ten such men to be found, I should still have some
hopes that a revolution would take place in favor of the virtuous few,
"and the laws, the rights, the generous plan of power delivered down
from age to age by our renowned forefathers" be again restored to that
unhappy island.
I hope by the close of this month to receive from you a large packet. I
have written twice before this. Some opportunities I may miss by my
distance from the capital. I have enjoyed a good share of health since
you left me. I have not mentioned my dear son, though I have often
thought of him since I began this letter, because I propose writing to
him by this opportunity. I omit many domestic matters because I will not
risk their coming to the public eye. I shall have a small bill to draw
upon you in the month of June. I think to send it to Mr. McCreery, who,
by a letter received since you went away, is, I find, settled in
Bordeaux in the mercantile way, and I dare say will procure for me
anything I may have occasion for. I wish you would be so good as to
write him a line requesting the favor of him to procure me such things,
and, in addition to the bills which may be drawn, let him add ten pounds
sterling at a time, if I desire it. The bills will be at three different
times in a year. If they should arrive safe they would render me
essential service.
Our public finances are upon no better footing than they were when you
left us. Five hundred dollars is now offered by this town, per man, for
nine months, to recruit the army. Twelve pounds a month for farming
labor is the price, and it is not to be procured under. Our friends are
all well and desire to be remembered to you. So many tender sentiments
rush upon my mind, when about to close this letter to you, that I can
only ask you to measure them by those which you find in your own bosom
for