Braintree, 22 October, 1775.
Mr. Lothrop called here this evening, and brought me yours of the 1st of
October,--a day which will ever be remembered by me, for it was the most
distressing one I ever experienced. That morning I rose, and went into
my mother's room, not apprehending her so near her exit; went to her bed
with a cup of tea in my hand, and raised her head to give it to her. She
swallowed a few drops, gasped, and fell back upon her pillow, opening
her eyes with a look that pierced my heart, and which I shall never
forget; it was the eagerness of a last look;
"And oh, the last sad silence of a friend!"
Yet she lived till five o'clock that day, but I could not be with her.
My dear father prayed twice beside her bed that day. God Almighty was
with him and supported him that day, and enabled him to go through the
services of it. It was his communion day; he had there a tender scene to
pass through--a young granddaughter, Betsey Cranch, joining herself to
the church, and a beloved wife dying, to pray for. Weeping children,
weeping and mourning parishioners all round him, for every eye streamed,
his own heart almost bursting as he spoke. How painful is the
recollection, and yet how pleasing!
I know I wound your heart. Why should I? Ought I to give relief to my
own by paining yours? Yet
"the grief, that cannot speak,
Whispers the o'erfraught heart, and bids it break."
My pen is always freer than my tongue. I have written many things to you
that I suppose I never could have talked. My heart is made tender by
repeated affliction; it never was a hard heart. The death of Patty came
very near me, having lived four years with me under my care. I hope it
will make me more continually mindful and watchful of all those who are
still committed to my charge. 'T is a great trust; I daily feel more and
more of the weight and importance of it, and of my own inability. I wish
I could have more of the assistance of my dearest friend, but these
perilous times swallow him up.
Mr. Lothrop has given me this account of the demand upon Falmouth. A
man-of-war and two tenders went down, and sent to the inhabitants to
demand their arms and require them to stand neuter. They required time
to consider; they had until nine o'clock the next day, which time they
employed in removing the women, children, and _the rest of their most
valuable effects_, out of danger, when they sent their answer in the
negative. Upon this, the enemy began a cannonade, and were continuing it
when the express came away. Hichborne[108] and another gentleman got out
of town in a small boat, one of the foggy nights we have had this week.
I have not heard what intelligence he brings. Another person says that
Howe enlarged all the prisoners but Lovell, and he would not come out.
I have since seen the Paraphrase,[109] as it is called; but 't is as low
as the mock oration, though no reflection upon your private character,
further than immoderately whipping your scholars when you kept school, a
crime any one will acquit you of who knows you. As a specimen of the wit
and humor it contained I will give you the title: "A Paraphrase upon the
Second Epistle of John the Roundhead, to James, the Prolocutor of the
Rump Parliament. Dear Devil," etc. I had it, but it was when I was in so
much distress that I cared nothing about it. I will mention, when I see
you, the foolish conjectures of some who want always to be finding out
something extraordinary in whatever happens.
I hope to hear often from you, which is all the alleviation I have in
your absence, and is, next to seeing you, the greatest comfort of your