I never enjoyed better health in any of my journeys, but this has been
the most irksome, the most gloomy and melancholy I ever made. I cannot
with all my philosophy and Christian resignation keep up my spirits. The
dismal prospect before me, my family, and my country, is too much for my
fortitude.
"Bear me, some god! Oh quickly bear me hence,
To wholesome solitude, the nurse of sense;
Where Contemplation prunes her ruffled wings,
And the free soul looks down to pity kings."
The day before yesterday a gentleman came and spoke to me, asked me to
dine with him on Saturday; said he was very sorry I had not better
lodgings in town; desired, if I came to town again, I would take a bed
at his house and make his house my home; I should always be very
welcome. I told him I had not the pleasure of knowing him. He said his
name was Codman. I said I was very much obliged to him, but I was very
well accommodated where I lodged. I had a clean bed and a very neat
house, a chamber to myself, and everything I wanted.
Saturday, I dined with him, in company with Brigadier Preble, Major
Freeman and his son, etc., and a very genteel dinner we had. Salt fish
and all its apparatus, roast chickens, bacon, pease, as fine a salad as
ever was made, and a rich meat pie. Tarts and custards, etc., good wine,
and as good punch as ever you made. A large, spacious, elegant house,
yard, and garden; I thought I had got into the palace of a nobleman.
After dinner, when I was obliged to come away, he renewed his invitation
to me to make his house my home whenever I shall come to town again.
Friday I dined with Colonel, Sheriff, alias Bill Tyng.[31] Mrs. Ross and
her daughter Mrs. Tyng dined with us, and the court and clerk, and some
of the bar. At table we were speaking about Captain MacCarty, which led
to the African trade. Judge Trowbridge said, "That was a very humane and
Christian trade, to be sure, that of making slaves." "Aye," says I, "it
makes no great odds; it is a trade that almost all mankind have been
concerned in, all over the globe, since Adam, more or less, in one way
and another." This occasioned a laugh.
At another time Judge Trowbridge said, "It seems, by Colonel Barre's
speeches, that Mr. Otis has acquired honor by releasing his damages to
Robinson." "Yes," says I, "he has acquired honor with all generations."
Trowbridge; "He did not make much profit, I think."[32] Adams: "True,
but the less profit, the more honor. He was a man of honor and
generosity, and those who think he was mistaken will pity him."
Thus you see how foolish I am. I cannot avoid exposing myself before
these high folks; my feelings will at times overcome my modesty and
reserve, my prudence, policy, and discretion. I have a zeal at my heart
for my country and her friends, which I cannot smother or conceal; it
will burn out at times and in companies where it ought to be latent in
my breast. This zeal will prove fatal to the fortune and felicity of my
family, if it is not regulated by a cooler judgment than mine has
hitherto been. Colonel Otis's phrase is, "The zeal-pot boils over."
I am to wait upon brother Bradbury to meeting to-day, and to dine with
brother Wyer. When I shall get home, I know not, but if possible, it
shall be before next Saturday night. I long for that time to come, when
my dear wife and my charming little prattlers will embrace me.