_Disgusting or unseasonable Jocoseness._
LXV. But excessive gravity, is perhaps not more repugnant to true
Urbanity, than unseasonable jocoseness. Pleasantry in conversation, can
be disagreeable but in three ways; by exceeding in the quantity of it,
by indecency in the quality of it, and by its being deficient in point
of nature.
LXVI. He who is always laughing and upon the gog, may be more properly
termed a buffoon, than a man of good-breeding. No person makes himself
more ridiculous, than one who is always laughing, and he who is always
affecting to be gay, is ever disgusting; and a man likewise who acts
the jack-pudding all his life, is a mere jack-pudding and nothing more.
LXVII. Cheerfulness may be also reprehensible, by degenerating into
ribaldry, or by being over satyrical. The first, is properly the
language of stables and tippling houses, and as I don’t write for
lacqueys, grooms, and coachmen, we shall pass this over, and proceed
on to the second point. Those who have a high opinion of their own
talents, are very frequently guilty of this fault. I mean to speak of
those who set themselves up for dictators, but who ought more properly
to be termed babblers and praters, but I do not mean to enumerate in
this catalogue, such, as may be truly termed men of understanding,
but such only as Horace spoke of, when he said, that if opportunities
occurred for indulging their satyrical vein, they made no scruple of
lashing their most intimate friends.
_Dummodo risum_
_Excutiat sibi, non hic cuiquam parcet amico._
Of those, who according to the description given of them by Ennius,
could more easily retain in their mouths a hot iron, than a keen
saying; these are a sort of people, who seem to claim a right of making
error pass for sterling gold, of converting comedy into tragedy,
injurious treatment into good behaviour, and of converting honey also
into poison. Their tongues may be compared to those of the lions, which
are so rough and sharp, that wherever they lick they take the skin off.
They are also called hummers; and so they are, for like wasps, hornets,
flies, and all other vile insects of the humming kind, they the instant
they have hummed, implant their sting.
LXVIII. But let them make what parade they will of their abilities,
they can never escape being noted for malignant or troublesome people;
and whether they are one or the other, all honest men should either
discard them from their company, or restrain them by threatenings. The
Count de Amayuelas, whom I became acquainted with in my youth, said
to a gentleman of this kind, who had taken frequent occasions to say
rude and ill-natured things to him, under the pretence of being jocose,
Friend Don N. I have bore with several indelicacies from you, and
you may vent as many more upon me as you think proper, but let it be
understood between us from henceforward, that for every indelicacy you
must expect a stab. By which intimation, he took the sting out of the
tail of the hummer.
LXIX. There is a serious fault in hummers, and one that they very
frequently commit, which is their exercising their banter upon
common-place things, and general topics, and pointing their sneers,
for example, against the rank, or nation of the person they attack.
I am obliged for this observation, to that great master of Urbanity
Quintilian; these are his words: _Male etiam dicitur quod in plures
convenit: si, aut nationes totæ incessantur, aut ordines, aut conditio,
aut studia multorum._ People of steril geniuses, are the most apt to
fall into this absurdity, who being at a loss what to say concerning
men’s actions or personal qualities, fall upon some common-place
observations, respecting their condition, country, &c.
LXX. The reason why this should be avoided is, because among the
multitude of those who are comprehended in common-place and general
observations, there may be more than a few of them, who may construe
the hum into an affront; and although they may not have been present at
the conversation in which this happened, upon hearing afterwards what
passed in it, may be excited to shew their resentment against what they
have been told was said, which is a thing I have often experienced. And
I have also seen this attended with not a little injury to common-place
hummers, who have drawn on themselves resentments they were not aware
of. But although there should be no danger attending this practice,
it should be avoided from motives of equity; for notwithstanding
pleasantry is in its own simple nature innocent, it is not right to
exercise it towards him, who may fancy himself injured by it. Those who
are so tender and delicate, that they would feel as a hard blow, what
to others would only seem a playful pat with the hand, should never be
so much as lightly touched with the finger, for if the lightest touch
goes to their hearts, whoever touches them can’t fail to wound them. It
not being possible then, for those who deal in general or common-place
humour and banter, to avoid giving offence to many people, every one
who would be thought a man of urbanity or good-breeding, should abstain
from that practice entirely.
LXXI. Finally, all pleasantry that is not natural is disgusting. Those
who without genius attempt to be witty, soon grow tiresome, and make
themselves appear ridiculous. There is nothing more insipid, than a
man who is desirous of making himself seem entertaining, by venting
studied conceits, and by aukward and forced endeavours to imitate
people of natural humour. It is true, that they succeed in part of
what they aim to accomplish, which is the making other men laugh, but
then they themselves, and not their wit, stand as the object of their
laughter. If there happens to be a man in a town, who is remarkable and
celebrated for his humour, and saying of good things, twenty or thirty
others, will attempt to imitate and set themselves in competition with
him; but all their endeavours, will never enable them to exhibit more
than a ridiculous mock copy of that person. Mankind don’t care to be
convinced, that in this and all other such endowments, nature not only
furnishes the means, but does the whole executive part of the business
herself. It is for the want of making this reflection, that those who
are the least qualified for it by nature, attempt to imitate others, on
whom she has with a bountiful hand bestowed the choicest qualities. The
exceeding likeness there is between a man and a monkey, seems to me to
be greater still, if in making the comparison between them, we begin
with the man first. It has been insisted, that both in Asia and Africa,
there have been apes or monkeys found, who have the exact appearance of
men; and I insist, that in Africa, Asia, and Europe, and in all other
places, there are men who have the exact appearance of monkeys, and in
effect, that they put on, or wear this appearance, by their attempting
to imitate each other. There never starts up an excellent original
in our species, of which you will not see innumerable affected
copies; but then these are a sort of copies, that never exceed a mock
scare-crow imitation.