XLV. Although Urbanity, with respect to the most brilliant and
beautiful parts of it, which we describe by the term gracefulness, as
we have before observed, depends very little upon study or instruction,
still in all its substantial and essential parts, it admits of precepts
and rules; so that any man who has been taught, or has made himself
acquainted with them, may perfectly understand in what this appearance
of Urbanity consists.
XLVI. People very frequently, and in many ways offend against the laws
of Urbanity; and I have seen those, who have had a reasonable good
education, who have notwithstanding that, been frequently guilty of
offending against the rules of good-breeding. All those imperfections,
are the very reverse of Urbanity, which tend to make people
disagreeable in their conversation, and when in company with other men
troublesome or disgusting in their behaviour; and this explanation,
suits well with the definition we at first gave of Urbanity. But which
are these imperfections? To this I shall answer, that they are many,
and that I will proceed to point some of the most striking ones out,
which I apprehend will be the most instructive part of this essay, as
enumerating the most glaring imperfections that tend to make people
disagreeable and troublesome in conversation, will have the same
effect, as prescribing rules that should be observed, to render their
company pleasing and desirable to society. As I proceed, the reader
may accompany me, and examine his political conscience as we go on, in
order to discover whether any of the faults or failings I point out,
are applicable to himself.