XXVI. Neither do I believe above half that is said, of the neglect that
is shewn to merit, and the abandoned situation it finds itself in at
court; for the number of candidates for preferment that may be found
there, who have no merit at all, would upon enquiry appear to be very
considerable, and that among them, you will meet with mischief-makers,
together with crafty, deceitful, and treacherous people, whose bad
practices and characters, it is almost beyond the power of language to
describe; who are a sort of imps of Satan, that for the most part serve
the Devil without pay; and are a kind of galley slaves upon earth, who
join to that slavery, being the galley boatswains mates, or drivers
of each other, whose oar, and whose scourge, are never out of their
hands, for fear of their not being the first to arrive at the desired
port, and to accomplish what they had in view. They are a species of
idolaters of Fortune, who sacrifice as victims to that deity, their
companions, their relations, their friends, and their benefactors; and
in the end themselves also, or their own souls. What have we not to
expect, or what have we not to fear from men of this character?
XXVII. I have been three times at court, but either from my natural
incuriosity, or because my stay there each time was but short, I came
away as ignorant of the practices of a court, as I went; and only
took particular notice of one circumstance, which is relative to
the subject I am now treating of. I saw there, as in other places,
Urbanity degenerate into that fulsome kind of ceremony, which may be
termed cringing complaisance. Accident furnished me with numberless
opportunities of seeing such things; and I have frequently observed
two people who have usually met together in their walks, and who, as
I have been informed, had a tolerable indifference for each other,
and even looked upon one another with reciprocal contempt; I say I
have seen these people upon their meeting, strive which should excel
in expressions of the love, veneration and respect they bore to each
other. There was scarce a word came out of their mouths, which was not
accompanied with some affected gestures. Their eyes cast glances of
tender devotion on each other, and milk and honey flowed from their
lips; but at the same time their affectation was so palpable, that any
man of the least discernment, might have perceived the disagreement
there was, between their hearts and their appearances. I laughed
inwardly at them both, and I believe they also in their hearts, laughed
mutually at each other.
XXVIII. I saw once two lawyers accost each other, with such extreme
expressions of tenderness, that a Portuguese might have learned from
them, phrases and gestures for feats of gallantry. Both these people
had places at court, on which account they could not avoid seeing each
other pretty frequently; and there was no friendship between them;
notwithstanding which, their expressions were like those of the most
cordial friends, who had met together after a long absence.
XXXIX. Having expressed to some people who were used to the court, how
disgusting this appeared to me, they answered that this was behaving
in the court stile; but would not any one who hears this, conclude the
court was nothing but a comic theatre, where all the world act the part
of enamoratos; although to speak the truth, it was only in spirits of
inferior order, that I noted this amorous kind of farrago. In those of
more elevated hearts and minds, if they don’t owe the thing to their
own genius and disposition, the education of a court produces a better
effect, and exhibits people of a more noble behaviour, and such as is
proper to, and expressive of true urbanity. I say I have observed in
such, affability, sweetness, expressions of benevolence, and offers
of kind services; all which were tendered with propriety, and in a
decent generous manner, free from affected exaggerations, but animated
at the same time, and expressed with so natural an air, that the
articulations of the tongue, were indications of the emotions of the
mind, and the feelings of the heart.
XXX. Cato, as Tully tells us, said, he wondered how two augurs whenever
they met, could refrain from laughing at each other; as they both well
knew, that their whole art was a mere imposture. I think the saying may
be applied to two fulsomely complaisant courtiers; for I do not see how
those who have once saluted each other in this cringing and affected
way, can upon meeting again, forbear laughing in each others faces, as
they both know, that all the hyperbolical professions of their esteem,
affection, and readiness to oblige, mean nothing, and that this is all
a mere common-place farrago or rhapsody, quite destitute of truth or
reality.
XXXI. I have said, that in the lesser towns I have visited, I have
not observed so much by a great deal, of this ridiculous parade. It
is true, that you will find in them, some few people who walk about
the streets with incense in their hands, to offer up to, and idolize
all those, whom they fancy can be of any service to them; but they
are looked upon like what they are, not as men of worth, but as men
of craft, whose incense smells savoury in the nostrils of none but
fools. This sort of behaviour about the court, frequently passes for
good-breeding; but in these other places it is condemned as meanness.