_On Cycling_
Street Scene of the Future
Ordinance: Every foot passenger will carry a visible number and will ring
a bell on approaching a cycler. Riding and driving strictly forbidden.
Luck
Cycler (passing a carriage on the road):—“And still there are
cabs—to-day, when the cycle rules the world! They are a funny sight!...
Of course an old woman is in it; who else would use one of those
antediluvian vehicles?”
(Half an hour later, he and his wheel have been picked up by the occupant
of that carriage, both badly bruised and battered):—“What luck, that this
cab came along! I wonder how I would have gotten home without it!”
Lies Elsewhere
Lady (on her wheel, meeting the Herr Förster, an acquaintance):—“Please,
Herr Förster, in what direction does Lahnberg lie? I am riding there to
meet my husband who is on his new wheel.”
“Lahnberg lies about two miles from here on the road to the right—your
husband lies to the left.”
A Pair of Them
A:—“How is your wife?”
B:—“I see her very seldom now.”
A:—“Why, how is that?”
B:—“Well, you see, she always sits behind me on the tandem.”
Effect
Piano repairer:—“It’s strange that every week a pedal gets broken on this
piano.”
Footman:—“It’s because our young lady rides a wheel all day.”
Too Early to Talk
(Two wheelmen, one of whom is a beginner, pass each other.)
A:—“I see you are getting on very well!”
B:—“Oh yes, for so short a time, I—(falls from his wheel)—you know, my
friend, I ought not to talk yet!”
Wouldn’t Appear Ridiculous
Policeman (to a cycler):—“In this street cycling is forbidden; get off at
once!”
Cycler:—“My name is Meyer, policeman, and I live Tulpenplatz 277. Send
for the fine—but don’t make me look ridiculous before all these people. I
can neither mount nor get off by myself; I can only ride.”
Each to His Need
Waitress (calling into the kitchen at a country tavern):—“For the
gentleman vegetarian a little green fodder, and for his steel horse a
drop of oil!”
What Papa Brought Home from His Trip
Papa (bringing his wheel in):—“Come here, wifey, and bring all the
children! Now, all of you open your mouths wide, I am going to open the
pneumatic tubes, that I filled on the Arlberg with delicious mountain air
for you!”
A New Word
A:—“Who is that gentleman in that sporty costume?”
B:—“That is a teacher of cycling.”
A:—“Oh, a sort of velocipedagogue.”