"Now, Anne, don't start in that way. You know it won't work. If this
furnishing is her taste and she begins to 'take an interest' in you and
tries 'to make you comfortable' you'll only blow up in the end. Take
those orange shades down and tell her in the morning that you don't
want anything added to your rooms. You needn't be sharp about it, but
you can be firm."
Anne smiled with a wistfulness that escaped Belle, touring the room in
inspection of the ugly steel engravings hung exactly in the center of
each wall. The first hour in her new home, and already she knew that
there would be many nights when she would be grateful for even the
terrible green glass vase that held the flowers, if it meant any one's
caring for her comfort.
"Don't worry, Belle. When this wall paper gets too much for my nerves
I'll go down and sit awhile in 'the parlor.' You should see that."
"Worse?"
"Three horsehair chairs with red velvet trimmings; one rocker to match.
An onyx and brass stand with a pink silk drape. A floor lamp with a
red shade and a white marble mantel, over a grate that has never had a
fire. Oh, yes--a 'good body-Brussels' rug, and the floor-border painted
cherry!"
"Heavens! Well, you'll never have to sit in it. And that back room
you're going to use for a sitting-room can be made cheerful in time
with just a few softening things round. Besides, there's the fireplace.
I've a good mind to light a fire, Anne, just to see how it looks. I
believe I'd feel better about leaving you alone with this wall paper
and that what-not if I got the effect of a fire."
"I'm not afraid of the what-not--wouldn't those ghastly statuettes in
the Niche fit perfectly?--but I would rather like a fire. I wonder if
Mrs. Jeffries could let us have a little wood."
"I'll ask her." In a moment Belle was back and while Anne undressed
Rogie, lit a fire in the back room. When Anne heard the cheerful
crackle, her eyes filled with tears but she brushed them angrily away.
"Now see here," she whispered brusquely to herself, "you're not going
to get weepy, every time you look at the Bay or hear a fog-whistle or
light an open fire."
"Are you coming, Anne? This kindling won't last forever." Belle had not
lit the gas and the kindly darkness hid the brown and red wall paper
and stiff chairs.
"It's not going to be bad, Belle. It's really wonderfully still, almost
as still as the mountains. When the fog-whistles don't go, there'll be
hardly a sound outside."
"Nor inside either. Does that women ever laugh, do you suppose?"
"I don't know. Mary Potter never really laughed outright. I think,
perhaps, Mrs. Jeffries has only forgotten how."
Belle shrugged. "Well, I hope she'll remember again soon. If she
doesn't, Rogie will forget too."
"Now, Belle, can you honestly imagine Rogie a solemn baby?"
"It does take some stretching of the imagination. But--when I look at
this wall paper and those chairs I can imagine almost anything. I can
even imagine Roger losing faith in----"
"Yes? Go on, Belle, don't be silly; as if Roger's name mustn't be
mentioned. I--I don't feel that way at all. Besides, even if I did, I
couldn't avoid Roger--because of Rogie. He has just as much right to
him as I, and as soon as I feel a little more settled, I'm going to
make some regular arrangement for his seeing him, having--him--part--of
the time if he wants to."
Belle looked down at the small figure gazing earnestly into the fire
and her hand moved toward her sister's shoulder, then drew back without
touching.
"Yes, of course, he ought to see him if he wants to," she said in her
brusque, impersonal way as if she were agreeing in some physician's
instruction concerning a patient.
"I wish," Anne went on, "that Roger had been seeing him right along.
I really don't understand, Belle, why you didn't let him. He must
think it was my wish that he shouldn't and believe that I was being
deliberately mean about it. He must think I am awfully narrow and
ungenerous and--and vindictive and----'
"I don't know why he should think that. Naturally he would suppose that
Rogie was with you. Besides, how did a poor blunderbuss like myself
know what mood you would come back in? If I had let Roger make his
own arrangements for seeing him I might have set up a precedent you
wouldn't have wanted to keep. Then there was moms and papa. You've
grown so calm and sure in the mountains, Anne, you don't realize that
the rest of us are pretty jumpy yet. Moms ranted along for days after
you'd gone. I don't know but what she might have refused to let Roger
look at him even if he had come. Under the circumstances I did what
seemed best. You know the family channels aren't the easiest to steer
in safely."
Anne smiled. "No, I know they're not. And I didn't mean to be unfair,
Belle. You've all been terribly dear to me. I don't believe I ever
understood any of you--or--any one--else--before I went away."
Again Belle looked at her sharply, changed her mind about speaking,
and put the last piece of kindling on the fire. Together they stood
silently watching it flare, then crumble, char and drop to gray ash.
When the last faint glow had died from the embers, Anne brought Belle's
things from the room where Rogie was now fast asleep. But even after
they were on, Belle lingered as if reluctant to go.
"If there's anything you want, you'll let me know, won't you, kiddie?"
"Yes, I'll let you know, but there won't be anything, I'm sure. The
hours at the office aren't bad at all and I believe Mrs. Jeffries will
take wonderful care of Rogie. It's--a little strange now--but I'll get
it homied up in time. I've got a few ideas about this room already."
"You can have anything of mine out of storage that you want. Do you
remember that heavy tapestry stuff I had a mania for once? It didn't
go in a small modern apartment, but it would be great with these high
ceilings. You'll ask me, won't you?"
"Yes, I promise. But for the present I'll just go on like this till I
get the feel of the place."
"Don't go on too long or you'll get to feel like the place. I know you,
Anne, better than you know yourself."