GR.-RE. Here we are at last; but, sir, if I might be so bold, I should
like you to tell me one thing.
LEL. Well, speak.
GR.-RE. Are you possessed by some devil or other, that you do not sink
under such fatigues as these? For eight whole days we have been riding
long stages, and have not been sparing of whip and spur to urge on
confounded screws, whose cursed trot shook us so very much that, for my
part, I feel as if every limb was out of joint; without mentioning a
worse mishap which troubles me very much in a place I will not mention.
And yet, no sooner are you at your journey's end, than you go out well
and hearty, without taking rest, or eating the least morsel.
LEL. My haste may well be excused, for I am greatly alarmed about the
report of Celia's marriage. You know I adore her, and, before
everything, I wish to hear if there is any truth in this ominous rumour.
GR.-RE. Ay, sir, but a good meal would be of great use to you to
discover the truth or falsehood of this report; doubtless you would
become thereby much stronger to withstand the strokes of fate. I judge
by my own self, for, when I am fasting, the smallest disappointment gets
hold of me and pulls me down; but when I have eaten sufficiently my soul
can resist anything, and the greatest misfortunes cannot depress it.
Believe me, stuff yourself well, and do not be too cautious. To fortify
you under whatever misfortune may do, and in order to prevent sorrow
from entering your heart, let it float in plenty of wine.
[Footnote: This is an imitation of Plautus' _Curculio, or the
Forgery_. The Parasite of Phaeaedromus, who gave his name to the
piece, says (ii. 3):--"I am quite undone. I can hardly see; my mouth is
bitter; my teeth are blunted; my jaws are clammy through fasting; with
my entrails thus lank with abstinence from food, am I come... Let's cram
down something first; the gammon, the udder, and the kernels; these are
the foundations for the stomach, with head and roast-beef, a good-sized
cup and a capacious pot, that council enough may be forthcoming."]
LEL. I cannot eat.
GR.-RE. (_Aside_). I can eat very well indeed; If it is not true
may I be struck dead! (_Aloud_). For all that, your dinner shall be
ready presently.
LEL. Hold your tongue, I command you.
GR.-RE. How barbarous is that order!
LEL. I am not hungry, but uneasy.
GR.-RE. And I am hungry and uneasy as well, to see that a foolish
love-affair engrosses all your thoughts.
[Footnote: Shakespeare, in _The Two Gentlemen of Verona_
(Act ii., Sc. I), has the following:
_Speed_. ...Why muse you, sir? 'tis dinner-time.
_Val_. I have dined.
_Speed_. Ay, but hearken, sir; though the chameleon, love, can
feed on the air, I am one that am nourished by my victuals, and would
fain have meat. O, be not like your mistress; be moved, be moved.]
LEL. Let me but get some information about my heart's delight, and
without troubling me more, go and take your meal if you like.
GR.-RE. I never say nay when a master commands.