precedented violence among a large portion of his Majesty's
liege subjects, gave the "John Bull" a glorious opportunity
for one of their witty satires, in which the poet has very
humorously described the
BUBBLES OF 1825.
Tune--"Run, neighbours, run."
Run, neighbours, run, you're just in time to get a share
In all the famous projects that amuse John Bull;
Run, take a peep on 'Change, for anxious crowds beset us there,
Each trying which can make himself the greatest gull.
No sooner are they puff'd, than a universal wish there is
For shares in mines, insurances in foreign loans and fisheries.
~121~~
No matter where the project lies, so violent the mania,
In Africa, New Providence, Peru, or Pennsylvania!
Run, neighbours, run, you're just in time to get a share
In all the famous bubbles that amuse John Bull.
Few folks for news very anxious at this crisis are,
For marriages, and deaths, and births, no thirst exists;
All take the papers in, to find out what the prices are
Of shares in this or that, upon the broker's lists.
The doctor leaves his patient--the pedagogue his Lexicon,
For mines of Real Monte, or for those of Anglo-Mexican:
E'en Chili bonds don't cool the rage, nor those still more romantic, sir,
For new canals to join the seas, Pacific and Atlantic, sir.
Run, neighbours, run, you're just in time to get a share
In all the famous bubbles that amuse John Bull.
At home we have projects too for draining surplus capital,
And honest Master Johnny of his cash to chouse;
Though t'other day, Judge Abbott gave a rather sharpish slap at all.
And Eldon launched his thunder from the upper House.
Investment banks to lend a lift to people who are undone--
Proposals for Assurance--there's no end of that, in London;
And one amongst the number, who in Parliament now press their Bills,
For lending cash at eight per cent, on coats and inexpressibles.
Run, neighbours, run, you're just in time to get a share
In all the famous bubbles that amuse John Bull.
No more with her bright pails the milkman's rosy daughter works,
A company must serve you now with milk and cream;
Perhaps they've some connexion with the advertising water-works,
That promise to supply you from the limpid stream.
Another body corporate would fain some pence and shillings get,
By selling fish at Hungerford, and knocking up old Billingsgate:
Another takes your linen, when it's dirty, to the suds, sir,
And brings it home in carriages with four nice bits of blood, sir.
Run, neighbours, run, you're just in time to get a share
In all the famous bubbles that amuse John Bull.
~122
When Greenwich coaches go by steam on roads of iron railing, sir,
How pleasant it will be to see a dozen in a line;
And ships of heavy burden over hills and valleys sailing, sir,
Shall cross from Bristol's Channel to the Tweed or Tyne.
And Dame Speculation, if she ever fully hath her ends,
Will give us docks at Bermondsey, St. Saviour's, and St. Catherine's;
While side long bridges over mud shall fill the folks with wonder, sir,
And lamp-light tunnels all day long convey the Cocknies under, sir.
Run, neighbours, run, you're just in time to get a share
In all the famous bubbles that amuse John Bull.
A tunnel underneath the sea, from Calais straight to Dover, sir,
That qualmish folks may cross by land from shore to shore,
With sluices made to drown the French, if e'er they would come over, sir,
Has long been talk'd of, till at length 'tis thought a monstrous bore.
Amongst the many scheming folks, I take it he's no ninny, sir,
Who bargains with the Ashantees to fish the coast of Guinea, sir;
For, secretly, 'tis known, that another brilliant view he has,
Of lighting up the famous town of Timbuctoo with oil gas.
Run, neighbours, run, you're just in time to get a share
In all the famous bubbles that amuse John Bull.
Then a company is form'd, though not yet advertising,
To build, upon a splendid scale, a large balloon,
And send up tools and broken stones for fresh Mac-Adamizing
The new discover'd turnpike roads which cross the moon.
But the most inviting scheme of all is one proposed for carrying
Large furnaces to melt the ice which hems poor Captain Parry in;
They'll then have steam boats twice a week to all the newly-seen land,
And call for goods and passengers at Labrador and Greenland!
Run, neighbours, run, you're just in time to get a share
In all the famous bubbles that amuse John Bull,
~123~~High 'Change was a subject full of the richest materials for
my friend Bob, who, without knowing more of the characters than their
exterior appearances of eccentricity and costume exhibited, proceeded to
_book_, as he termed it, the leading features. Every now and then there
was a rush to different parts of the arena, and an appearance of
great anxiety among the crowd to catch the attention of a person who
flourished a large parchment above their heads with all the pride and
importance of a field marshal's baton. This was, I found, no other than
the leading agent of some newly projected company, who took this method
of _indulging_ the subscribers with shares, or letting the fortunate
applicants know how many of these speculative chances the committee had
allowed them to possess. The return of little Principal afforded me a
key to the surrounding group, without which their peculiar merits would
have been lost to the world, or have remained individually unknown, like
the profit of many of the modern speculations. "You must not suppose,"
said Principal, "that great talents make great wealth here, or that
honourable conduct and generous feelings command respect--no such thing;
men are estimated upon 'Change in proportion to the supposed amount
of their property, and rise or fall in the worldly opinion of their
associates as prosperity or adversity operates upon the barometer
of their fortunate speculations; a lucky hit will cause a dolt to
be pointed out as a clever fellow, when, the next turn of the market
proving unsuccessful, he is despised and insulted: so much are the
frequenters of 'Change influenced by the most sordid and mercenary
feelings, that almost all of them are the willing dupes of riches and
good fortune. However, as you are strangers here, gentlemen, I will
introduce you, _entre nous_, to a few of the characters who thrive by
the destruction of thousands of their fellow-creatures. The bashaw in
black yonder, who rests his elephantic trunk against a pillar of the
Exchange, with his hands thrust into his breeches pockets, is the Hebrew
star--the Jewish luminary, a very Shiloh among the peoples of his own
persuasion, and, I am sorry to say, much too potent ~124~~with the
orthodox ministers of George the Fourth. The fellow's insolence is
intolerable, and his vulgarity and ignorance quite unbearable.
He commenced his career in Manchester by vending trinkets and
spectacle-cases in the streets of that town, from which station he
gradually rose to the important occupation of a dealer in _fag ends_,
from which he ascended to the dignity of a bill-broker, when, having
the command of money, and some wealthy Hebrew relatives conveniently
distributed over the Continent for the transaction of business, he took
up his abode in London, and towards the termination of the late war,
when a terrible smash took place among some of his tribe, he found means
to obtain their confidence, and having secured, by the aid of spies, the
earliest foreign intelligence, he rapidly made a colossal fortune in the
British funds, without much risk to himself. It is said he can scarcely
write his own name, and it only requires a minute's conversation to
inform you of the general ignorance of his mind; in short, he is one of
Hazlitt's men, with only one idea, but that one entirely directed to
the accumulation of gold. A few years since some of the more respectable
members of the Stock Exchange, perceiving the thraldom in which the
public funds of the country were held by the tricks and manouvres of the
Jew party, determined to make a stand against them: among these was a
highly respected member of parliament, a great sporting character, and
a very worthy man. His losses proved excessive, but they were promptly
paid. In order to weaken his credit, and, if possible, shake his
confidence and insult his feelings, the Jew took an opportunity, during
High 'Change, of telling him, 'Dat he had got his cote and vaistcote,
and he should very soon have his shirt into de bargain:' in this
prophecy, however, Mr. Mordecai was mistaken; for the market took a
sudden turn, and the gentleman alluded to recovered all his losses in a
short time, to the great discomfiture ~125~~of the high priest and the
Jews. In private life he is equally abrupt and vulgar, as the following
anecdote will prove, at his own table: A christian broker solicited some
trifling favour, observing, he had granted what he then requested to
another member of the house, who was his brother-in-law. 'Vary true,
vary true,' said Solomon Gruff, as he is sometimes called, 'but then you
do not shleep vid my shister, my boy; dat makes all de differance.' At
present this fellow's influence is paramount at most of the courts
of Europe, at some of which his family enjoy considerable honours; in
short, he is the head of the locust tribe, and the leader of that class
of speculators whom a witty writer has well described in the following
lines, addressed to the landholders:
'The National Debt may be esteemed a mass
Of filth which grows corrupter every day;
And in this heap, as always comes to pass,
Reptiles and vermin breed, exist, decay.
'Tis now so huge, that he must be an ass
Who thinks it ever can be clear'd away:
And the time's quickly coming, to be candid,
When funded men will swallow up the landed.
'Then will these debt-bred reptiles, hungry vermin,
Fed from the mass corrupt of which I spoke,
Usurp your place. A Jew, a dirty German,
Who has grown rich by many a lucky stroke,
Shall rule the Minister, and all determined
To treat your bitter sufferings as a joke.
Said I, he shall! It will be nothing new;
The Treasury now is govern'd by a Jew.'
[Illustration: page125]
The tall dandy-looking youth standing near the great man is a scion of
the former head of the Hebrew family: his father possessed very superior
talents, but was too much attached to splendid society to die rich; his
banquets were often graced by royalty, and his liberality and honourable
conduct proverbial, until misfortune produced a catastrophe that will
not bear ~126~~repeating. The very name of the sire causes a feeling of
dislike in the breast of the Colossus, and consequently the son is no
partaker in the good things which the great man has to dispose of. The
three tall Jews standing together are brothers, and all members of the
Stock Exchange; their affinity to the high priest, more than their
own talents, renders their fortunes promising. Observe the pale-faced
genteel-looking man.on the right hand side of the arena--that is Major
G--s, an unsuccessful speculator in the funds, but a highly honourable
officer, who threw away the proceeds of his campaigns in the Peninsula
among the sharks of the Stock Exchange and the lesser gamblers of St.
James's: he has lately given to the world a sketch of his own life,
under the assumed name of 'Ned Clinton, or the Commissary,' in which
he has faithfully narrated scenes and characters. The little, jolly,
fresh-coloured gentleman near him is Tommy B--h, a great speculator in
the funds, a lottery contractor, and wine merchant, and quite at home in
the tea trade. The immense fat gent behind him is called the dinner
man and M. C. of Vaux hall, of which place Tommy B--h holds a principal
share; his office is to write lyrics for the lottery, and gunpowder
puffs for the Genuine Tea Company, paragraphs for Vauxhall, and spirited
compositions in praise of spiritless wines: amid all these occupations
it is no wonder, considering his bulk, that he invariably falls asleep
before the dinner cloth is removed, and snores most mellifluously
between each round of the bottle. The sharp-visaged personage to the
left of him is the well known Count Bounce---------"--"Excuse me, Mr.
Principal," said I, "but I happen to know that worthy well myself;
that is, I believe, Sam Dixon, the _coper_ of Barbican, a jobber in the
funds, it would appear, as well as in horses, coaches, and chaises:
of the last named article I have had a pretty good specimen from his
emporium myself, ~127~~which, I must ever remember, was at the risk of
my life.--"Do you observe that stout-looking gentleman yonder with large
red whiskers, in a drab surtout, like a stage coachman? that is the
Marquis of H-----------, one of the most fortunate gamblers (i.e.
speculators) of the present day: during the war his lordship acquired
considerable sums of money by acting on his priority of political
information, his policy being to make one of the party in power, without
holding office, and by this means be at liberty to act in the money
market as circumstances required: among the _roues_ of the west he
has not been less successful in games of chance, until his coffers
are crammed with riches; but it must be admitted he is liberal in
his expenditure, and often-times generous to applicants, particularly
sporting men, who seek his favours and assistance. The little club of
sage personages who are mustered together comparing notes, in the corner
of the Dutch Walk, are the paragraph-writers for the morning and evening
press; very potent personages here, I assure you, for without their kind
operation the public could never be gulled to any great extent. The
most efficient of the group is the elegant-looking tall man who has
just moved off to consult his patron, the Hebrew star, who gives all his
foreign information exclusively to the Leviathan of the press, of
which paper Mr. A-----------r is the representative. Next to him in
importance, information, and talent, is the reporter for the Globe
and Traveller, G--------s M--------e, a shrewd clever fellow, with
considerable tact for business. Mr. F--------y, of the Courier, stands
near him on his left; and if he does but little with the stocks, he does
that little well. The sandy-haired laddie with the high cheek bones and
hawk-like countenance is M'C-----------h, of the Chronicle, but a wee
bit of a _wastrell_ in Stock Exchange affairs; and the mild-looking
young gentleman who is in ~128~~conversation with him represents the
mighty little man of the Morning Herald. The rest of the public prints
are mostly supplied with Stock Exchange information by a bandy-legged
Jew, a very Solomon in funded wisdom, who pens paragraphs at a penny a
line for the papers, and puts into them whatever the projectors dictate,
in the shape of a puff, at per agreement. The knot of swarthy-looking
athletic fellows, many of whom are finger-linked together, and wear
rings in their ears, are American captains, and traders from the shores
of the Atlantic. That jolly-looking ruby-faced old gentleman in black,
who is laughing at the puritanical tale of his lank brother, Alderman
Shaw, is the celebrated grand city admiral, Sir W. Curtis, a genuine
John Bull, considered worth a _plum_ at least, and the author of a
million of good jokes. Observe that quiet-looking pale-faced gentleman
now crossing the arena: from the smartness of his figure and the agility
with which he bustles among the crowd, you would suppose him an active
young man of about five-and-twenty, while, in fact, about sixty summers
have rolled over his head; such are the good effects of temperance,
system, and attention to diet. Here he is known by the designation of
Mr. Evergreen; a name, perhaps, affixed to him with a double meaning,
combining in view the freshness of his age and his known attachment to
theatricals, of which pursuits, as a recreation, he is devotedly fond.
As a broker, lottery contractor, and a man of business, Mr. D-----1
stands No. One for promptitude, probity, and the strictest sense of
honour; wealthy without pride, and learned without affectation, his
company is eagerly sought for by a large circle of the literati of the
day, with whom, from his anecdotal powers, he is in high repute:
on stage affairs he is a living 'Biographia Dramatica,' and Charles
Mathews, it is said, owes much of his present celebrity to the early
advice and persevering friendship of this worthy man. The pair ~120~~of
tall good-looking gentlemen on the French Walk are Messrs. J. and
H------S***h, merchants in the city, and authors at the west end of the
town: here they have recently been designated by the title of their
last whimsical production, and now figure as Messrs. Gaiety and Gravity,
cognomens by no means inapplicable to the temper, feeling, and talent
of the witty brothers. But come," said Principal, "the 'Change is now
becoming too full to particularize, and as this is _settling_ day at the
Stock Exchange, suppose we just walk across to the Alley, take a look
at the market, and see how the _account_ stands."--In passing down
Saint Bartholomew Lane, accident threw in our way the respected
chief magistrate of the city, John Garrett, Esq. of whose sire little
Principal favoured us with some entertaining anecdotes.--"Old Francis
Garrett, who began business in the tea trade without cash, but with
great perseverance and good credit, _cut up_ at his death for near four
hundred thousand pounds, and left his name in the firm to be retained
for seven years after his decease, when his posthumous share of the
profits was to be divided among his grand-children. As he generally
travelled for orders himself, he was proverbial for despatch; and has
been known to call a customer up in the morning at four o'clock to
settle his account, or disturb his repose in the night, if old Francis
was determined to make a lamp of the moon, and pursue his route. A very
humorous story is related of him. Arriving at Benson, near Henley, on a
Sunday morning, just as his customer, a Mr. Newberry, had proceeded
to Church, old Francis was very importunate to prevail upon the
servant-maid to call him out, in order that he might proceed to Oxford
that night: after much persuasion she was induced to accompany him to
the church, to point out the pew where her master sat. At their entrance
the eccentric figure of the tea-broker caused a general movement of
recognition among the congregation; but Francis, ~130~~nothing abashed,
was proceeding up the aisle with his cash instead of prayer-book in his
hand, when his attention was arrested by the clergyman's text, 'Paul we
know, and Silas we know, but who art thou?' The singular coincidence
of the words, added to the authoritative style of the pastor, quite
staggered Francis Garrett, who, however, quickly recovering, made a low
bow, and then, in a true business-like style, proceeded to, apologize to
the reverend and congregation for this seeming want of respect, adding
he was only old Francis Garrett, of Thames-street, the tea broker, whom
every body knew, come to settle a small account with his friend Mr.
Newberry. The eccentricity of the man was notorious, and this, perhaps,
better than the apology, induced the clergyman to overlook the offence;
but the story will long be remembered by the good people of Benson,
and never fail to create a laugh in the commercial room among the merry
society of gentlemen travellers. The son, who has deservedly risen to
the highest civic honours, is a worthy and highly honourable man, whose
conduct since he has been elected lord mayor reflects great credit upon
his fellow citizens' choice."--We had now mounted the steps which lead
to the Stock Exchange, or, as Principal, who, though one among them, may
be said not to be one of them, observed, we had arrived at the _wolves'
den_, "the secret arcana of which place, with its curious intricacies
and perplexing paradoxical systems and principles, I shall now,"
continued our friend, "endeavour to explain; from which exposition the
public will be able to see the monster that is feeding on the vitals
of the country, while smiling in its face and tearing at its heart,
yet cherished by it, as the Lacedemonian boy cherished the wolf that
devoured him. I am an enemy to all monopolies," said Principal, "and
this is one of the worst the country is infested with. "A private or
exclusive market, that is, a market ~131~~into which the public have
not the liberty or privilege of either going to make, or to see made,
bargains in their own persons, is one where the most sinister arts
are likely to prevail. The Stock Exchange is of this description, and
accordingly is one where the public are continually gulled out of their
money by a system of the most artful and complicated traffic--a traffic
calculated to raise the hopes of novices, to puzzle the wits of out-door
speculators, and sure to have the effect of diminishing the property of
those who are not members of the fraternity.{15}
"One of the principles of the Stock Exchange is, that the public assist
against themselves, which is not the less true than paradoxical. It is
contrary to the generally-received opinion that stocks should either
be greatly elevated or depressed, without some apparent cause: it is
contrary to natural inference that they should rise,--not from the
public sending in to purchase, or to buy or sell, which however
frequently happens. It follows, therefore, that the former is occasioned
by the arts of the interested stock-jobbers, and the latter by out-door
speculators, who have the market price _banged down_ upon them by those
whose business and interest it is to fleece them all they can. In the
language of the Stock Exchange, you must be either a _bull or a bear,_
a _buyer or a seller_: now as it is not necessary you should have one
shilling of property in the funds to embark in this speculation, but
may just as well sell a hundred thousand pounds of stock as one pound,
according to the practice of time bargains, which is wagering contrary
to law--so neither party can be compelled to complete their agreement,
or to pay whatever the difference of the amount may be upon the stock
when the account closes: all transactions
15 The mode of exchanging stock in France is in public. A
broker stands in the situation of an auctioneer, and offers
it to the best bidder.
~132~~are, therefore, upon honour; and whoever declines to pay his loss
is posted upon a black board, declared a defaulter, shut out of the
association, and called by the community a _lame duck_.
"It is not a little extraordinary, while the legislature and the judges
are straining every nerve to suppress low gambling and punish its
professors, they are the passive observers of a system pregnant with
ten times more mischief in its consequences upon society, and infinitely
more vicious, fraudulent, and base than any game practised in the hells
westward of Temple Bar; but we are too much in the practice of gaping at
a gnat and swallowing a camel, or the great subscription-houses, such
as White's, Brooke's, and Boodle's, would not have so long remained
uninterrupted in this particular, while the small fry that surround
them, and which are, by comparison, harmless, are persecuted with the
greatest severity. As there is a natural disposition in the human
mind for gambling, and as it is visible to all the world that many men
(cobblers, carpenters, and other labourers), by becoming stock-jobbers,
are suddenly raised from fortunes of a few pounds to hundreds of
thousands, therefore every falling shop-keeper or merchant flies to this
disinterested seminary with the same hope: but the jobbers, perceiving
their transactions interrupted by these persons intruding, in order to
keep them at a distance, formed themselves into a body, and established
a market composed of themselves, excluding every person not regularly
known to the craft.{16} As the brokers found difficulty always to meet
with people that would accommodate them either to buy or sell without
waiting in the regular
16 An article in their by-laws expresses, that no new member
shall be admitted who follows any other trade or business,
or in any wise is subject to the bankrupt laws: at the same
time it is curious to observe, that most of them are either
_soi-disant_ merchants or shopkeepers.