7 Mrs. S--mm--ns.
~320~~In the evening it was proposed to visit the libraries; but as
these places of public resort are not always eligible for the appearance
of a star, Crony and myself were despatched first to reconnoitre
and report to the Countess our opinions of the assembled group. The
association of society has perhaps undergone a greater change in
England within the last thirty years than any other of our peculiar
characteristics; at least, I should guess so from Crony's descriptions
of the persons who formerly honoured the libraries with their presence;
but whose names (if they now condescend to subscribe) are entered in
a separate book, that they may not be defiled by appearing in the same
column with the plebeian host of the three nations who form the united
family of Great Britain. "Ay, sir," said Crony, with a sigh that bespoke
the bitterness of reflection, "I remember when this spot (Luccombe's
library) was the resort of all the beauty and brilliancy that once
illumined the hemisphere of Calton palace,--the satellites of the
heir apparent, the brave, the witty, and the gay,--the soul-inspiring,
mirthful band, whose talents gave a splendid lustre to the orb of
royalty, far surpassing the most costly jewel in his princely coronet.
But they are gone, struck to the earth by the desolating hand of the
avenger Death, and have left no traces of their genius upon the minds of
their successors."
Of the motley assemblage which now surrounds us it would be difficult
to attempt a picture. The pencil of a Cruikshank or a Rowlandson might
indeed convey some idea; but all weaker hands would find the subject
overpowering. A mob of manufacturers, melting hot, elbowing one
another into ill-humour, by their anxiety to teach their offspring the
fashionable vice of gaming; giving the pretty innocents a taste for
_loo_, which generally ends in _loo_-sening what little purity of
principle the prejudice of education has left upon their intellect.
In our more fashionable _hells_, wine and choice _liqueurs_ are the
stimulants ~321~~to vice; here, the seduction consists in the strumming
of an ill-toned piano, to the squeaking of some poor discordant whom
poverty compels to public exposure; and who, generally being of the
softer sex, pity protects from the severity of critical remark. I need
not say our report to the Dalmaines was unfavourable; and the divine
little countess, frustrated in her intentions of honouring the libraries
with her presence, determined upon promenading up the West Cliff,
attended by old Crony and myself. The bright-eyed goddess of the night
emitted a ray of more than usual brilliancy, and o'er the blue waters of
the deep spread forth a silvery and refulgent lustre, that lent a charm
of magical inspiration to the rippling waves. For what of nature's
mighty works can more delight, than
'----Circling ocean, when the swell
By zephyrs borne from off the main,
Heaves to the breeze, and sinks again?'
The deep murmuring of the hollow surge as it rolls over the pebble
beach, the fresh current of saline air that braces and invigorates, and
the uninterrupted view of the watery expanse, are attractions of delight
and contemplation which are nowhere to be enjoyed in greater perfection
than at Brighton. The serenity of the evening induced us to pass the
barrier of the chain-pier, and bend our steps towards the projecting
extremity of that ingenious structure. An old Welsh harper was touching
his instrument with more than usual skill for an itinerant professor,
while the plaintive notes of the air he tuned accorded with the
solemnity of the surrounding scene. "I could pass an evening here,"
said the countess, in a somewhat contemplative mood, "in the society of
kindred spirits, with more delightful gratification than among the giddy
throng who meet at Almack's." Crony bowed to the ground, overpowered by
the ~322~~compliment; while your humble servant, less obsequious,
but equally conscious of the flattering honour, advanced my left foot
sideways, drew up my right longitudinally, and touched my beaver with a
_congee_, that convinced me I had not forgotten the early instructions
of our old Eton posture-master, the all-accomplished Signor Angelo. "A
__wery hextonishing vurk, this here pier," said a fat, little squab of
a citizen, sideling up to Crony like a full-grown porpoise; "_wery
hexpensive_, and _wery huseless, I thinks_" continued the intruder.
Crony reared his crest in silent indignation, while his visage betokened
an approaching storm; but a significant look from the countess gave him
the hint that some amusement might be derived from the _animal_; who,
without understanding the contempt he excited, proceeded--"_Vun_ of the
new _bubble_ companies' _specks, I supposes, vat old daddy Boreas vill
blow avay sum night in a hurrikin_. It puts me _wery_ much in mind of
a two bottle man." "Why so?" said Crony. "Bekause it's only half seas
_hover_." This little civic _jeu d'esprit_ made his peace with us by
producing a hearty laugh, in which he did not fail to join in unison.
"But are you aware of the usefulness and national importance of the
projector's plans? said Crony. "Not I," responded the citizen: "I hates
all projections of breweries, bridges, buildings, and boring companies,
from the Golden-lane speck to the Vaterloo; from thence up to the new
street, and down to the tunnel under the Thames, vich my banker, Sir
William Curtis, says, is the greatest bore in London." "But humanity,
sir," said Crony, "has, I hope, some influence with you; and this
undertaking is intended not only for the healthful pleasure of the
Brighton visitors, but for the convenience of vessels in distress, and
the landing of passengers in bad weather." "Ay, there it is,--that's
hexactly vat I thought; to help our rich people more easily out of
~323~~the country, and bring a set of poor half-starved foreigners in:
vy, I'm told it's to be carried right across the channel in time, and
then the few good ones ve have left vill be marching off to the enemy."
This conceit amused the countess exceedingly, and was followed by many
other equally strange expressions and conjectures; among which, Crony
contrived to persuade him that great amusement was to be derived in
bobbing for mackerel and turbot with the line: a pleasure combining so
much of profit in expectancy that the old citizen was, at last, induced
to admit the utility of the chain-pier.
Retracing our steps towards the Steyne, we had one more good laugh at
our companion's credulity, who expressed great anxiety to know what the
huge wheel was intended for, which is at the corner by the barrier, and
throws up water for the use of the town; but which, Crony very promptly
assured him, was the grand action of the improved roasting apparatus
at the York hotel. We now bade farewell to our amusing companion, and
proceeded to view the new plunging bath at the bottom of East-street,
built in the form of an amphitheatre, and surrounded by dressing-rooms,
with a fountain in the centre, from which a continued supply of
salt-water is obtained. The advantages may be great in bad weather; but
to my mind there is nothing like the open sea, particularly as confined
water is always additionally cold. On our arrival at home, a parcel from
London brought the enclosed from Tom Echo, upon whom the sentence of
rustication has, I fear, been productive of fresh follies.
[Illustration: page323]
Dear Heartily,
Having cut college for a _bolt_ to the _village_,{8} I expected to
have found you in the _bay of condolence_,{9} but hear you left your
_moorings_ lately
8 London, so called at Oxford.
9 The consolation afforded by friends when _plucked_ or
rusticated.
~324~~to _waste the ready_ among the _sharks_ at Brighton. Though not
quite at _point nonplus_, I am very near the _united kingdoms_ of _Sans
Souci and Sans Sixsous_,{10} and shall bring to, and wait for company,
in the province of Bacchus. I have only just quitted _AEager Haven_, and
been very near the _Wall_{11}; have sustained another dreadful fire from
_Convocation Castle,_{12} which had nigh shattered my _fore-lights_,
and was very near being _blown up_ in attempting to pass the _Long
Hope_.{13} If you wish to save an old Etonian from _east jeopardy_,{14}
set sail directly, and tow me out of the _river Tick_ into the _region
of rejoicing_; then will we get _bosky_ together, sing old songs, tell
merry tales, and _spree_ and _sport_ on the _states of Independency_.
Yours truly,
The _Oxford rustic_,
London.
TOM ECHO.
P. S. I should not have cut so suddenly, but joined Bob Transit and
Eglantine in giving two of the old big wigs a flying leap t'other
evening, as they left Christ Church Hall, in return for rusticating
me:--to escape suspicion, broke away by the mail. I know your affection
for a good joke, so induced Bob to book it, and let me have the sketch,
which I here enclose.
10 Riddance of cares, and, ultimately, of sixpences.
11 The depot of invalids; Dr. Wall being a celebrated
surgeon, whose skill is proverbial in the cure of the
Headington or Bagley fever. For a view of poor Tom during
his suffering--_(see plate by Bob Transit.)_
12 The House of Convocation in Oxford, when the twenty-five
heads of Colleges and the masters meet to transact and
investigate university affairs.
13 The symbol of long expectation in studying for a degree.
14 Terrors of anticipation. The remaining phrases have all
been explained in an earlier part of the Work.
~325~~
[Illustration: page325]
Mad as the D'Almaine's must think me for obeying such a summons, I have
just bade them adieu, and am off to-morrow, by the earliest coach,
for London. The only place I have omitted to notice, in my sketches
of Brighton, is the Club House on the Steyne Parade, where a few _old
rooks_ congregate, to keep a sharp look-out for an unsuspecting _green
one_, or a wealthy _pigeon_, who, if once _netted_, seldom succeeds in
quitting the trap without being plucked of a few of his feathers. The
greatest improvement to a place barren of foliage and the agreeable
retirement of overshadowed walks, is the Royal Gardens, on the level at
the extremity of the town, in a line with the Steyne enclosures as
you enter from the London road. The taste, variety, and accommodation
displayed in this elegant place of amusement, renders it certainly the
most attractive of public gardens, while the arrangements are calculated
to gratify all ~326~~classes of society without the danger of too
crowded an assemblage. Let us see you when term ends; and in the interim
expect a long account of sprees and sports in the village.
Horatio Heartly.
[Illustration: page326]
METROPOLITAN SKETCHES.
_Heartly, Echo, and Transit start for a Spree--Scenes by
Daylight, Starlight, and Gaslight--Black Mon-day at
Tattersall's--The first Meeting after the Great St. Leger--
Heroes of the Turf paying and receiving--Dinner at
Fishmongers' Hall--Com-mittee of Greeks--The Affair of the
Cogged Dice--A regular Break-down--Rules for the New Club--
The Daffy Club, or a musical Muster of the Fancy: striking
Portraits--Counting the Stars--Covent Garden, what it was,
and what it is--The Finish--Anecdotes of Characters--The
Hall of Infamy, alias the Covent Garden Hell._
Of all the scenes where rich and varied character is to be found in the
metropolis and its environs, none can exceed that emporium for sharps
and flats, famed Tattersall's, whether for buying a good horse, betting
a round sum, or, in the sporting phrase, learning how to make the best
of every thing. "Shall we take a _tooddle_ up to Hyde-park corner?"
said Echo; "this is the settling day for all bets made upon the great
Doncaster St. Leger, when the _swells book up_, and the knowing ones
_draw_ their _bussel_:--_Black_ Monday, as Sir John Lade terms it,
when the event has not come off right." "A noble opportunity," replied
Transit, "for a picture of turf curiosities. Come, Heartly, throw
philosophy aside, and let us set forth for a day's enjoyment, and then
to finish with a night of frolic. An occasional spree is as necessary to
the relaxation of the mind, as exercise is to ~328~~ensure health. The
true secret to make life pleasant, and study profitable, is to be able
to throw off our cares as we do our morning gowns, and, when we sally
forth to the world, derive fresh spirit, vigour, and information from
cheerful companions, good air, and new objects. High 'Change among
the heroes of the turf presents ample food for the humorist; while
the strange contrast of character and countenance affords the man of,
feeling and discernment subject for amusement and future contemplation."
It was in the midst of one of the most numerous meetings ever remembered
at Tattersall's, when Barefoot won the race, contrary to the general
expectation of the knowing ones, that we made our _entre_. With Echo
every sporting character was better known than his college tutor, and
not a few kept an eye upon the boy, with hopes, no doubt, of hereafter
benefiting by his inexperience, when, having got the whip-hand of his
juvenile restrictions, he starts forth to the world a man of fashion
and consequence, with an unencumbered property of fifteen thousand per
annum, besides expectancies. "Here's a game of chess for you, Transit,"
said Echo; "why, every move upon the board is a character, and not
one but what is worth booking. Observe the arch slyness of the jockey
yonder, ear-wigging his patron, a young blood of the fancy, into a
_good thing_; particularising all the capabilities and qualities of the
different horses named, and making the event (in his own estimation)
as _sure as the Bank of England_:--how finely contrasted with the easy
indifference of the dignified sportsman near him, who leaves all to
chance, spite of the significant nods and winks from a regular _artiste_
near him, who never suffers him to make a bet out of the ring, if it
is possible to prevent him, by throwing in a little suspicion, in
order that he and his friends may have the plucking of their victim
exclusively. The portly-looking man in the left-hand corner _(see
~329~~plate)_ is Mr. Tanfield, one of the greatest betting men on the
turf; who can lose and pay twenty thousand without moving a muscle, and
pocket the like sum without indulging in a smile; always steady as old
Time, and never giving away a chance, but carefully keeping his eye upon
Cocker (i. e. his book), to see how the odds stand, and working away by
that system which is well understood under the term management. In front
of him is the sporting Earl of Sefton, and that highly-esteemed son of
Nimrod, Colonel Hilton Joliffe,--men of the strictest probity, and hence
often appointed referees on matters in dispute.
[Illustration: page329]
Lawyer L----, and little Wise-man, are settling their differences with
_bluff_ Bland, who carries all his bets in his memory till he reaches
home, because a book upon the spot would be useless. In the right-hand
corner, just in front of old General B----n, is John Gully, once
the pugilist, but now a man of considerable property, which has been
principally acquired by his knowledge of calculation, and strict
attention to honourable conduct: there are few men on the turf more
respected, and very few among those who keep _betting_ books whose
conduct will command the same approbation. The old beau in the corner
is Sir Lumley S----n, who, without the means to bet much, still loves
to linger near the scene of former extravagance." "A good disciple of
Lavater," said Transit, "might tell the good or ill fortunes of those
around him, by a slight observance of their countenances. See
that merry-looking, ruby-faced fellow just leaving the door of the
subscription-room: can any body doubt that he has _come off all
right_?--or who would dispute that yon pallid-cheeked gentleman, with
a long face and quivering lip, betrays, by the agitation of his nerves,
the extent of his sufferings? The peer with a solemn visage tears out
his last check, turns upon his heel, whistles a tune, and sets against
the gross amount of his losses another mortgage of ~330~~the family
acres, or a _post obit_ upon some expectancy: the regular sporting man,
the out and outer, turns to his book--
'For there he finds, _no matter who has won_,{1}
Whichever animal, or mare, or colt;
Nay, though each horse that started for't should bolt,
Or all at once fall lame, or die, or stray,
He yet must pocket hundreds by the day.'"
Two or three amusing scenes took place among those who wanted, and those
who had nothing to give, but yet were too honourable to _levant_: many
exhibited outward and visible signs of inward grief. A man of metal
dropped his last sovereign with a sigh, but chafed a little about
false reports of chaunting up a losing horse, doing the _thing neatly_,
keeping the secret, and other such like delicate innuendoes, which among
sporting men pass current, provided the losers pay promptly. Several,
who had gone beyond their depth, were recommended to the consideration
of the humane, in hopes that time might yet bring them about. We had
now passed more than two hours among the motley group, when Tom, having
exchanged the time o'day with most of his sporting friends, proposed an
adjournment to _Fishmongers' Hall_, or, as he prefaced it, with a visit
to the New Club in St. James's-street; to which resort of Greeks and
gudgeons we immediately proceeded.
[Illustration: page331]
We had just turned the corner of St. James's-street, and were preparing
to ascend the steps which lead to the New Club, as Crockford's
establishment is termed, when old Crony accosted me.
1 To all but betting men, this must appear impossible; but
management is every thing; and with a knowledge of the
secret, according to turf logic, it is one hundred to one
against calculation, and, by turf mathematics, five hundred
to one against any event coming right upon the square. In
the sporting phrase, 'turf men never back any thing to win;'
they have no favourites, unless there is a X; and their
common practice is to accommodate all, by taking the odds,
till betting is reduced to a _certainty_.
~331~~He had it seems come off by the Brighton ten o'clock coach,
and was now, "according to his usual custom i' the afternoon," on the
look-out for an _invite_ to a good dinner and a bottle. As I knew he
would prove an agreeable, if not a very useful companion in our present
enterprise, I did not hesitate to present him to Echo and Transit, who,
upon my very flattering introduction, received him graciously; although
Bob hinted he was rather _too old_ for a _play-fellow_, and Echo
whispered me to keep a _sharp lookout_, as he strongly suspected he was
a _staff officer_ of the _new Greek corps of Sappers and Miners_. In
London you can neither rob nor be robbed genteelly without a formal
introduction: how Echo had contrived it I know not, but we were very
politely ushered into the grand club-room, a splendid apartment of
considerable extent, with a bow-window in front, exactly facing White's.