CHAPTER XXXII

At the beginning of October, news reached the Court, which was at

Fontainebleau, that M. de Duras was at the point of death. Upon hearing

this, Madame de Saint-Simon and Madame de Lauzun, who were both related

to M. Duras, wished to absent themselves from the Court performances that

were to take place in the palace that evening. They expressed this wish

to Madame de Bourgogne, who approved of it, but said she was afraid the

King would not do the same. He had been very angry lately because the

ladies had neglected to go full dressed to the Court performances. A few

words he had spoken made everybody take good care not to rouse his anger

on this point again. He expected so much accordingly from everybody who

attended the Court, that Madame de Bourgogne was afraid he would not

consent to dispense with the attendance of Madame de Saint-Simon and

Madame de Lauzun on this occasion. They compromised the matter,

therefore, by dressing themselves, going to the room where the

performance was held, and, under pretext of not finding places, going

away; Madame de Bourgogne agreeing to explain their absence in this way

to the King. I notice this very insignificant bagatelle to show how the

King thought only of himself, and how much he wished to be obeyed; and

that that which would not have been pardoned to the nieces of a dying

man, except at the Court, was a duty there, and one which it needed great

address to escape from, without seriously infringing the etiquette

established.

After the return of the Court from Fontainebleau this year, Puysieux came

back from Switzerland, having been sent there as ambassador. Puysieux

was a little fat man, very agreeable, pleasant, and witty, one of the

best fellows in the world, in fact. As he had much wit, and thoroughly

knew the King, he bethought himself of making the best of his position;

and as his Majesty testified much friendship for him on his return, and

declared himself satisfied with his mission in Switzerland, Puysieux

asked if what he heard was not mere compliment, and whether he could

count upon it. As the King assured him that he might do so, Puysieux

assumed a brisk air, and said that he was not so sure of that, and that

he was not pleased with his Majesty.

"And why not?" said the King.

"Why not?" replied Puysieux; "why, because although the most honest man

in your realm, you have not kept to a promise you made me more than fifty

years ago."

"What promise?" asked the King.

"What promise, Sire?" said Puysieux; "you have a good memory, you cannot

have forgotten it. Does not your Majesty remember that one day, having

the honour to play at blindman's buff with you at my grandmother's, you

put your cordon bleu on my back, the better to hide yourself; and that

when, after the game, I restored it to you, you promised to give it me

when you became master; you have long been so, thoroughly master, and

nevertheless that cordon bleu is still to come."

The King, who recollected the circumstance, here burst out laughing, and

told Puysieux he was in the right, and that a chapter should be held on

the first day of the new year expressly for the purpose of receiving him

into the order. And so in fact it was, and Puysieux received the cordon

bleu on the day the King had named. This fact is not important, but it

is amusing. It is altogether singular in connection with a prince as

serious and as imposing as Louis XIV.; and it is one of those little

Court anecdotes which are curious.

Here is another more important fact, the consequences of which are still

felt by the State. Pontchartrain, Secretary of State for the Navy, was

the plague of it, as of all those who were under his cruel dependence.

He was a man who, with some-amount of ability, was disagreeable and

pedantic to an excess; who loved evil for its own sake; who was jealous

even of his father; who was a cruel tyrant towards his wife, a woman all

docility and goodness; who was in one word a monster, whom the King kept

in office only because he feared him. An admiral was the abhorrence of

Pontchartrain, and an admiral who was an illegitimate son of the King,

he loathed. There was nothing, therefore, that he had not done during

the war to thwart the Comte de Toulouse; he laid some obstacles

everywhere in his path; he had tried to keep him out of the command of

the fleet, and failing this, had done everything to render the fleet

useless.

These were bold strokes against a person the King so much loved, but

Pontchartrain knew the weak side of the King; he knew how to balance the,

father against the master, to bring forward the admiral and set aside the

son. In this manner the Secretary of State was able to put obstacles in

the way of the Comte de Toulouse that threw him almost into despair, and

the Count could do little to defend himself. It was a well-known fact at

sea and in the ports where the ships touched, and it angered all the

fleet. Pontchartrain accordingly was abhorred there, while the Comte de

Toulouse, by his amiability and other good qualities, was adored.

At last, the annoyance he caused became so unendurable, that the Comte de

Toulouse, at the end of his cruise in the Mediterranean, returned to

Court and determined to expose the doings of Pontchartrain to the King.

The very day he had made up his mind to do this, and just before he

intended to have his interview with the King, Madame Pontchartrain,

casting aside her natural timidity and modesty, came to him, and with

tears in her eyes begged him not to bring about the ruin of her husband.

The Comte de Toulouse was softened. He admitted afterwards that he could

not resist the sweetness and sorrow of Madame de Pontchartrain, and that

all his resolutions, his weapons, fell from his hands at the thought of

the sorrow which the poor woman would undergo, after the fall of her

brutal husband, left entirely in the hands of such a furious Cyclops.

In this manner Pontchartrain was saved, but it cost dear to the State.

The fear he was in of succumbing under the glory or under the vengeance

of an admiral who was son of the King determined him to ruin the fleet

itself, so as to render it incapable of receiving the admiral again.

He determined to do this, and kept to his word, as was afterwards only

too clearly verified by the facts. The Comte de Toulouse saw no more

either ports or vessels, and from that time only very feeble squadrons

went out, and even those very seldom. Pontchartrain, had the impudence

to boast of this before my face.

When I last spoke of Madame des Ursins, I described her as living in the

midst of the Court, flattered and caressed by all, and on the highest

terms of favour with the King and Madame de Maintenon. She found her

position, indeed, so far above her hopes, that she began to waver in her

intention of returning to Spain. The age and the health of Madame de

Maintenon tempted her. She would have preferred to govern here rather

than in Spain. Flattered by the attentions paid her, she thought those

attentions, or, I may say, rather those servile adorations, would

continue for ever, and that in time she might arrive at the highest point

of power. The Archbishop of Aix and her brother divined her thoughts,

for she did not dare to avow them, and showed her in the clearest way

that those thoughts were calculated to lead her astray. They explained

to her that the only interest Madame de Maintenon had in favouring her

was on account of Spain. Madame des Ursins--once back in that country,

Madame de Maintenon looked forward to a recommencement of those relations

which had formerly existed between them, by which the government of Spain

in appearance, if not in reality, passed through her hands. They

therefore advised Madame des Ursins on no account to think of remaining

in France, at the same time suggesting that it would not be amiss to stop

there long enough to cause some inquietude to Madame de Maintenon, so as

to gain as much advantage as possible from it.

The solidity of these reasons persuaded Madame des Ursins to follow the

advice given her. She resolved to depart, but not until after a delay by

which she meant to profit to the utmost. We shall soon see what success

attended her schemes. The terms upon which I stood with her enabled me

to have knowledge of all the sentiments that had passed through her mind:

her extreme desire, upon arriving in Paris, to return to Spain; the

intoxication which seized her in consequence of the treatment she

received, and which made her balance this desire; and her final

resolution. It was not until afterwards, however, that I learnt all the

details I have just related.

It was not long before Madame de Maintenon began to feel impatient at the

long-delayed departure of Madame des Ursins. She spoke at last upon the

subject, and pressed Madame des Ursins to set out for Spain. This was

just what the other wanted. She said that as she had been driven out of

Spain like a criminal, she must go back with honour, if Madame de

Maintenon wished her to gain the confidence and esteem of the Spaniards.

That although she had been treated by the King with every consideration

and goodness, many people in Spain were, and would be, ignorant of it,

and that, therefore, her return to favour ought to be made known in as

public and convincing a manner as was her disgrace. This was said with

all that eloquence and persuasiveness for which Madame des Ursins was

remarkable. The effect of it exceeded her hopes.

The favours she obtained were prodigious. Twenty thousand livres by way

of annual pension, and thirty thousand for her journey. One of her

brothers, M. de Noirmoutiers, blind since the age of eighteen or twenty,

was made hereditary duke; another, the Abbe de la Tremoille, of exceeding

bad life, and much despised in Rome, where he lived, was made cardinal.

What a success was this! How many obstacles had to be overcome in order

to attain it! Yet this was what Madame des Ursins obtained, so anxious

was Madame de Maintenon to get rid of her and to send her to reign in

Spain, that she might reign there herself. Pleased and loaded with

favour as never subject was before, Madame des Ursins set out towards the

middle of July, and was nearly a month on the road. It may be imagined

what sort of a reception awaited her in Spain. The King and the Queen

went a day's journey out of Madrid to meet her. Here, then, we see again

at the height of power this woman, whose fall the King but a short time

since had so ardently desired, and whose separation from the King and

Queen of Spain he had applauded himself for bringing about with so much

tact. What a change in a few months!

The war continued this year, but without bringing any great success to

our arms. Villars, at Circk, outmanoeuvred Marlborough in a manner that

would have done credit to the greatest general. Marlborough, compelled

to change the plan of campaign he had determined on, returned into

Flanders, where the Marechal de Villeroy was stationed with his forces.

Nothing of importance occurred during the campaign, and the two armies

went into winter quarters at the end of October.

I cannot quit Flanders without relating another instance of the pleasant

malignity of M. de Lauzun. In marrying a daughter of the Marechal de

Lorges, he had hoped, as I have already said, to return into the

confidence of the King by means of the Marechal, and so be again

entrusted with military command. Finding these hopes frustrated, he

thought of another means of reinstating himself in favour. He determined

to go to the waters of Aix-la-Chapelle, not, as may be believed, for his

health, but in order to ingratiate himself with the important foreigners

whom he thought to find there, learn some of the enemy's plans, and come

back with an account of them to the King, who would, no doubt, reward him

for his zeal. But he was deceived in his calculation. Aix-la-Chapelle,

generally so full of foreigners of rank, was this year, owing to the war,

almost empty. M. de Lauzun found, therefore, nobody of consequence from

whom he could obtain any useful information. Before his return, he

visited the Marechal de Villeroy, who received him with all military

honours, and conducted him all over the army, pointing out to him the

enemy's post; for the two armies were then quite close to each other.

His extreme anxiety, however, to get information, and the multitude of

his questions, irritated the officers who were ordered to do the honours

to him; and, in going about, they actually, at their own risk, exposed

him often to be shot or taken. They did not know that his courage was

extreme; and were quite taken aback by his calmness, and, his evident

readiness to push on even farther than they chose to venture.

On returning to Court, M. de Lauzun was of course pressed by everybody to

relate all he knew of the position of the two armies. But he held

himself aloof from all questioners, and would not answer. On the day

after his arrival he went to pay his court to Monseigneur, who did not

like him, but who also was no friend to the Marechal de Villeroy.

Monseigneur put many questions to him upon the situation of the two

armies, and upon the reasons which had prevented them from engaging each

other. M. de Lauzun shirked reply, like a man who wished to be pressed;

did not deny that he had well inspected the position of the two armies,

but instead of answering Monseigneur, dwelt upon the beauty of our

troops, their gaiety at finding themselves so near an enemy, and their

eagerness to fight. Pushed at last to the point at which he wished to

arrive, "I will tell you, Monseigneur," said he, "since you absolutely

command me; I scanned most minutely the front of the two armies to the

right and to the left, and all the ground between them. It is true there

is no brook, and that I saw; neither are there any ravines, nor hollow

roads ascending or descending; but it is true that there were other

hindrances which I particularly remarked."

"But what hindrance could there be," said Monseigneur, "since there was

nothing between the two armies?"

M. de Lauzun allowed himself to be pressed upon this point, constantly

repeating the list of hindrances that did not exist, but keeping silent

upon the others. At last, driven into a corner, he took his snuff-box

from his pocket.

"You see," said he, to Monseigneur, "there is one thing which much

embarrasses the feet, the furze that grows upon the ground, where M. le

Marechal de Villeroy is encamped. The furze, it is true, is not mixed

with any other plant, either hard or thorny; but it is a high furze, as

high, as high, let me see, what shall I say?"--and he looked all around

to find some object of comparison--"as high, I assure you, as this

snuffbox!"

Monseigneur burst out laughing at this sally, and all the company

followed his example, in the midst of which M. de Lauzun turned on his

heel and left the room. His joke soon spread all over the Court and the

town, and in the evening was told to the King. This was all the thanks

M. de Villeroy obtained from M. de Lauzun for the honours he had paid

him; and this was M. de Lauzun's consolation for his ill-success at Aix-

la-Chapelle.

In Italy our armies were not more successful than elsewhere. From time

to time, M. de Vendome attacked some unimportant post, and, having

carried it, despatched couriers to the King, magnifying the importance

of the exploit. But the fact was, all these successes led to nothing.

On one occasion, at Cassano, M. de Vendome was so vigorously attacked by

Prince Louis of Baden that, in spite of his contempt and his audacity,

he gave himself up for lost. When danger was most imminent, instead of

remaining at his post, he retired from the field of battle to a distant

country-house, and began to consider how a retreat might be managed.

The Grand Prieur, his brother, was in command under him, and was ordered

to remain upon the field; but he was more intent upon saving his skin

than on obeying orders, and so, at the very outset of the fight, ran away

to a country-house hard by. M. de Vendome strangely enough had sat down

to eat at the country-house whither he had retired, and was in the midst

of his meal when news was brought him that, owing to the prodigies

performed by one of his officers, Le Guerchois, the fortunes of the day

had changed, and Prince Louis of Baden was retiring. M. Vendome had

great difficulty to believe this, but ordered his horse, mounted, and,

pushing on, concluded the combat gloriously. He did not fail, of course,

to claim all the honours of this victory, which in reality was a barren

one; and sent word of his triumph to the King. He dared to say that the

loss of the enemy was more than thirteen thousand; and our loss less than

three thousand--whereas, the loss was at least equal. This exploit,

nevertheless, resounded at the Court and through the town as an advantage

the most complete and the most decisive, and due entirely to the

vigilance, valour, and capacity of Vendome. Not a word was said of his

country-house, or the interrupted meal. These facts were only known

after the return of the general officers. As for the Grand Prieur, his

poltroonery had been so public, his flight so disgraceful--for he had

taken troops with him to protect the country-house in which he sought

shelter--that he could not be pardoned. The two brothers quarrelled upon

these points, and in the end the Grand Prieur was obliged to give up his

command. He retired to his house at Clichy, near Paris; but, tiring of

that place, he went to Rome, made the acquaintance there of the Marquise

de Richelieu, a wanderer like himself, and passed some time with her at

Genoa. Leaving that city, he went to Chalons-sur-Saone, which had been

fixed upon as the place of his a exile, and there gave himself up to the

debaucheries in which he usually lived. From this time until the Regency

we shall see nothing more of him. I shall only add, therefore, that he

never went sober to bed during thirty years, but was always carried

thither dead drunk: was a liar, swindler, and thief; a rogue to the

marrow of his bones, rotted with vile diseases; the most contemptible and

yet most dangerous fellow in the world.

One day-I am speaking of a time many years previous to the date of the

occurrences just related-one day there was a great hunting party at Saint

Germain. The chase was pursued so long, that the King gave up, and

returned to Saint Germain. A number of courtiers, among whom was M. de

Lauzun, who related this story to me, continued their sport; and just as

darkness was coming on, discovered that they had lost their way. After a

time, they espied a light, by which they guided their steps, and at

length reached the door of a kind of castle. They knocked, they called

aloud, they named themselves, and asked for hospitality. It was then

between ten and eleven at night, and towards the end of autumn. The door

was opened to them. The master of the house came forth. He made them

take their boots off, and warm themselves; he put their horses into his

stables; and at the same time had a supper prepared for his guests, who

stood much in need of it. They did not wait long for the meal; yet when

served it proved excellent; the wines served with it, too, were of

several kinds, and excellent likewise: as for the master of the house, he

was so polite and respectful, yet without being ceremonious or eager,

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Memoirs of Louis XIV and His Court and of the Regency — Volume 04 · 第 8 / 8 章