HOW COULD HE HELP IT?
When he returned she was out in the garden with her hat on and a mallet
in her hand; but she was seated on one of a cluster of garden-chairs
under a great cedar tree. "I think it's almost too hot to play," she
said. It was an August afternoon, and the sun was very bright in the
heavens. Jack was of course quite willing to sit under the cedar-tree
instead of playing croquet. He was prepared to do whatever she wished.
If he could only know what subjects she would prefer, he would talk
about them and nothing else. "How do you think papa is looking?" she
asked.
"He always looks well."
"Ah; he was made dreadfully unhappy by that affair up in London. He
never would talk about it to me; but he was quite ill while he thought
the Marquis was in danger."
"I don't believe the Marquis was much the worse for it."
"They said he was, and papa for some time could not get over it. Now he
is elated. I wish he would not be so glad because that poor little boy
has died."
"It makes a great difference to him, Lady George;--and to you."
"Of course it makes a difference, and of course I feel it. I am as
anxious for my husband as any other woman. If it should come fairly, as
it were by God's doing, I am not going to turn up my nose at it."
"Is not this fairly?"
"Oh yes. Papa did not make the little boy die, of course. But I don't
think that people should long for things like this. If they can't keep
from wishing them, they should keep their wishes to themselves. It is
so like coveting other people's goods. Don't you think we ought to keep
the commandments, Captain De Baron?"
"Certainly--if we can."
"Then we oughtn't to long for other people's titles."
"If I understand it, the Dean wanted to prevent somebody else from
getting a title which wasn't his own. That wouldn't be breaking the
commandment."
"Of course I am not finding fault with papa. He would not for worlds
try to take anything that wasn't his,--or mine. But it's so sad about
the little boy."
"I don't think the Marquis cared for him."
"Oh, he must have cared! His only child! And the poor mother;--think
how she must feel."
"In spite of it all, I do think it's a very good thing that he's dead,"
said Jack, laughing.
"Then you ought to keep it to yourself, sir. It's a very horrid thing
to say so. Wouldn't you like to smoke a cigar? You may, you know. Papa
always smokes out here, because he says Mr. Groschut can't see him."
"Mr. Groschut is at Rudham," said Jack, as he took a cigar out of his
case and lit it.
"At Rudham? What promotion!"
"He didn't seem to me to be a first-class sort of a fellow."
"Quite a last-class sort of fellow, if there is a last class. I'll tell
you a secret, Captain De Baron. Mr. Groschut is my pet abomination. If
I hate anybody, I hate him. I think I do really hate Mr. Groschut. I
almost wish that they would make him bishop of some unhealthy place."
"So that he might go away and die?"
"If the mosquitoes would eat him day and night, that would be enough.
Who else was there at Rudham?"
"Mrs. Montacute Jones."
"Dear Mrs. Jones. I do like Mrs. Jones."
"And Adelaide Houghton with her husband." Mary turned up her nose and
made a grimace as the Houghtons were named. "You used to be very fond
of Adelaide."
"Very fond is a long word. We were by way of being friends; but we are
friends no longer."
"Tell me what she did to offend you, Lady George? I know there was
something."
"You are her cousin. Of course I am not going to abuse her to you."
"She's not half so much my cousin as you are my friend,--if I may say
so. What did she do or what did she say?"
"She painted her face."
"If you're going to quarrel, Lady George, with every woman in London
who does that, you'll have a great many enemies."
"And the hair at the back of her head got bigger and bigger every
month. Papa always quotes something about Dr. Fell when he's asked why
he does not like anybody. She's Dr. Fell to me."
"I don't think she quite knows why you've cut her."
"I'm quite sure she does, Captain De Baron. She knows all about it. And
now, if you please, we won't talk of her any more. Who else was there
at Rudham?"
"All the old set. Aunt Ju and Guss."
"Then you were happy."
"Quite so. I believe that no one knows all about that better than you
do."
"You ought to have been happy."
"Lady George, I thought you always told the truth."
"I try to; and I think you ought to have been happy. You don't mean to
tell me that Miss Mildmay is nothing to you?"
"She is a very old friend."
"Ought she not to be more? Though of course I have no right to ask."
"You have a right if any one has. I haven't a friend in the world I
would trust as I would you. No; she ought not to be more."
"Have you never given her a right to think that she would be more?"
He paused a moment or two before he answered. Much as he wished to
trust her, anxious as he was that she should be his real friend he
could hardly bring himself to tell her all that had taken place at
Rudham Park during the last day or two. Up to that time he never had
given Miss Mildmay any right. So, at least, he still assured himself.
But now,--it certainly was different now. He desired of all things to
be perfectly honest with Lady George,--to be even innocent in all that
he said to her; but--just for this once--he was obliged to deviate into
a lie. "Never!" he said.
"Of course it is not for me to enquire further."
"It is very hard to describe the way in which such an intimacy has come
about. Guss Mildmay and I have been very much thrown together; but,
even had she wished it, we never could have married. We have no means."
"And yet you live like rich people."
"We have no means because we have lived like rich people."
"You have never asked her to marry you?"
"Never."
"Nor made her think that you would ask her? That comes to the same
thing, Captain De Baron."
"How am I to answer that? How am I to tell it all without seeming to
boast. When it first came to pass that we knew ourselves well enough to
admit of such a thing being said between us, I told her that marriage
was impossible. Is not that enough?"
"I suppose so," said Lady George, who remembered well every word that
Gus Mildmay had said to herself. "I don't know why I should enquire
about it, only I thought----"
"I know what you thought."
"What did I think?"
"That I was a heartless scoundrel."
"No, never. If I had, I should not have,--have cared about it. Perhaps
it has been unfortunate."
"Most unfortunate!" Then again there was a pause, during which he went
on smoking while she played with her mallet. "I wish I could tell you
everything about it;--only I can't. Did she ever speak to you?"
"Yes, once."
"And what did she say?"
"I cannot tell you that either."
"I have endeavoured to be honest; but sometimes it is so difficult. One
wants sometimes to tell the whole truth, but it won't come out. I am
engaged to her now."
"You are engaged to her!"
"And two days since I was as free as ever."
"Then I may congratulate you."
"No, no. It makes me miserable. I do not love her. There is one other
person that I care for, and I never can care for any one else. There is
one woman that I love, and I never really loved any one else."
"That is very sad, Captain De Baron."
"Is it not? I can never marry Miss Mildmay."
"And yet you have promised?"
"I have promised under certain circumstances which can never, never
come about."
"Why did you promise if you do not love her?"
"Cannot you understand without my telling you? I cannot tell you that.
I am sure you understand."
"I suppose I do. Poor Miss Mildmay!"
"And poor Jack De Baron!"
"Yes; poor Jack De Baron also! No man should talk to a girl of marrying
her unless he loves her. It is different with a girl. She may come to
love a man. She may love a man better than all the world, though she
hardly knew him when she married him. If he is good to her, she will
certainly do so. But if a man marries a woman without loving her, he
will soon hate her."
"I shall never marry Miss Mildmay."
"And yet you have said you would?"
"I told you that I wanted to tell you everything. It is so pleasant to
have some one to trust, even though I should be blamed as you are
blaming me. It simply means that I can marry no one else."
"But you love some one?" She felt when she was asking the question that
it was indiscreet. When the assertion was made she had not told herself
that she was the woman. She had not thought it. For an instant she had
tried to imagine who that other one could be. But yet, when the words
were out of her mouth, she knew that they were indiscreet. Was she not
indiscreet in holding any such conversation with a man who was not her
brother or even her cousin? She wished that he were her cousin, so that
she might become the legitimate depository of his secrets. Though she
was scolding him for his misdoings, yet she hardly liked him the less
for them. She thought that she did understand how it was, and she
thought that the girl was more in fault than the man. It was not till
the words had passed her mouth and the question had been asked that she
felt the indiscretion. "But you love some one else?"
"Certainly I do; but I had not meant to speak about that."
"I will enquire into no secrets."
"Is that a secret? Can it be a secret? Do you not know that ever since
I knew you I have had no pleasure but in being with you, and talking to
you, and looking at you?"
"Captain De Baron!" As she spoke she rose from her seat as though she
would at once leave him and go back into the house.
"You must hear me now. You must not go without hearing me. I will not
say a word to offend you."
"You have offended me."
"How could I help it? What was I to do? What ought I to have said? Pray
do not go, Lady George."
"I did not think you would have insulted me. I did trust you."
"You may trust me. On my honour as a gentleman, I will never say
another word that you can take amiss. I wish I could tell you all my
feelings. One cannot help one's love."
"A man may govern his words."
"As I trust in heaven, I had determined that I would never say a
syllable to you that I might not have spoken to my sister. Have I asked
you to love me? I have not thought it possible that you should do so. I
know you to be too good. It has never come within my dreams."
"It is wicked to think of it."
"I have not thought of it. I will never think of it. You are like an
angel to me. If I could write poetry, I should write about you. If ever
I build castles in the air and think what I might have been if things
had gone well with me, I try to fancy then that I might have had you
for a wife. That is not wicked. That is not a crime. Can you be angry
with me because, having got to know you as I do, I think you better,
nicer, jollier, more beautiful than any one else? Have you never really
loved a friend?"
"I love my husband with all my heart,--oh, better than all the world."
Jack did not quite understand this. His angel was an angel. He was sure
of that. And he wished her to be still an angel. But he could not
understand how any angel could passionately love Lord George
Germain,--especially this angel who had been so cruelly treated by him.
Had she loved him better than all the world when he walked her out of
Mrs. Jones' drawing-room, reprimanding her before all the guests for
her conduct in dancing the Kappa-kappa? But this was a matter not open
to argument. "I may still be your friend?" he said.
"I think you had better not come again."
"Do not say that, Lady George. If I have done wrong, forgive me. I
think you must admit that I could hardly help myself."
"Not help yourself!"
"Did I not tell you that I wanted you to know the whole truth? How
could I make you understand about Miss Mildmay without telling it all?
Say that you will forgive me."
"Say that it is not so, and then I will forgive you."
"No. It is so, and it must be so. It will remain so always, but yet you
will surely forgive me, if I never speak of it again. You will forgive
me and understand me, and when hereafter you see me as a middle-aged
man about town, you will partly know why it is so. Oh dear; I forgot to
tell you. We had another old friend of yours at Rudham,--a very
particular friend." Of course she had forgiven him and now she was
thankful to him for his sudden breach of the subject; but she was not
herself strong enough immediately to turn to another matter. "Who do
you think was there?"
"How can I tell?"
"The Baroness."
"No?"
"As large as life."
"Baroness Banmann at Mr. De Baron's."
"Yes;--Baroness Banmann. Aunt Julia had contrived to get permission to
bring her, and the joke was that she did us all out of our money. She
got a five-pound note from me."
"What a goose you were."
"And ten from Lord Brotherton! I think that was the greatest triumph.
She was down on him without the slightest compunction. I never saw a
man so shot in my life. He sent me to look for the money, and she never
left me till I had got it for her."
"I thought Aunt Ju had had enough of her."
"I should think she has now. And we had Lord Giblet. Lord Giblet is to
marry Miss Patmore Green after all."
"Poor Lord Giblet!"
"And poor Miss Patmore Green. I don't know which will have the worst of
it. They can practise the Kappa-kappa together for consolation. It is
all Mrs. Jones' doing, and she is determined that he shan't escape. I'm
to go down to Killancodlem and help."
"Why should you have anything to do with it?"
"Very good shooting, and plenty to eat and drink,--and Giblet is a
friend of mine; so I'm bound to lend a hand. And now, Lady George, I
think I'll go to the hotel and be back to dinner. We are friends."
"Yes; if you promise not to offend me."
"I will never offend you. I will never say a word that all the world
might not hear,--except this once,--to thank you." Then he seized her
hand and kissed it. "You shall always be a sister to me," he said.
"When I am in trouble I will come to you. Say that you will love me as
a brother."
"I will always regard you as a friend."
"Regard is a cold word, but I will make the most of it. Here is your
father."
At this moment they were coming from a side path on to the lawn, and as
they did so the Dean appeared upon the terrace through the deanery room
window. With the Dean was Lord George, and Mary, as soon as she saw
him, rushed up to him and threw her arms round his neck. "Oh George,
dear, dearest George, papa said that perhaps you would come. You are
going to stay?"
"He will dine here," said the Dean.
"Only dine!"
"I cannot stay longer to-day," said Lord George, with his eye upon
Captain De Baron. The Dean had told him that De Baron was there; but,
still, when he saw that the man had been walking with his wife, a
renewed uneasiness came upon him. It could not be right that the man
from whose arms he had rescued her on the night of the ball should be
left alone with her a whole afternoon in the Deanery Garden! She was
thoughtless as a child;--but it seemed to him that the Dean was as
thoughtless as his daughter. The Dean must know what people had said.
The Dean had himself seen that horrid dance, with its results. The
awful accusation made by the Marquis had been uttered in the Dean's
ears. Because that had been wicked and devilishly false, the Dean's
folly was not the less. Lord George embraced his wife, but she knew
from the touch of his arm round her waist that there was something
wrong with him.
The two men shook hands of course, and then De Baron went out,
muttering something to the Dean as to his being back to dinner. "I
can't say I like that young man," said Lord George.
"I like him very much," replied the Dean. "He is always good-humoured,
and I think he's honest. I own to a predilection for happy people."
Mary was of course soon upstairs with her husband. "I thought you would
come," she said, hanging on him.
"I did not like not to see you after the news. It is important. You
must feel that."
"Poor little boy! Don't you grieve for them."
"Yes, I do. Brotherton has treated me very badly, but I do feel for
him. I shall write to him and say so. But that will not alter the fact.
Popenjoy is dead."
"No; it will not alter the fact." He was so solemn with her that she
hardly knew how to talk to him.
"Popenjoy is dead,--if he was Popenjoy. I suppose he was; but that does
not signify now."
"Not in the least I suppose."
"And if you have a son----"
"Oh, George?"
"He won't be Popenjoy yet."
"Or perhaps ever."
"Or perhaps ever;--but a time will probably come when he will be
Popenjoy. We can't help thinking about it, you know."
"Of course not."
"I'm sure I don't want my brother to die."
"I am sure I don't."
"But the family has to be kept up. I do care about the family. They all
think at Manor Cross that you should go over at once."
"Are you going to stay there, George. Of course I will go if you are
going to stay there."
"They think you should come, though it were only for a few days."
"And then? Of course I will go, George, if you say so. I have had my
visit with papa,--as much as I had a right to expect. And, oh George, I
do so long to be with you again." Then she hung upon him and kissed
him. It must have been impossible that he should be really jealous,
though Captain De Baron had been there the whole day. Nor was he
jealous, except with that Caesarian jealousy lest she should be
unfortunate enough to cause a whisper derogatory to his marital
dignity.
The matter had been fully discussed at Manor Cross; and the Manor Cross
conclave, meaning of course Lady Sarah, had thought that Mary should be
brought to the house, if only for a day or two, if only that people in
Brothershire might know that there had been no quarrel between her and
her husband. That she should have visited her father might be
considered as natural. It need not be accounted as quite unnatural that
she should have done so without her husband. But now,--now it was
imperative that Brothershire should know that the mother of the future
Lord Popenjoy was on good terms with the family. "Of course her
position is very much altered," Lady Susanna had said in private to
Lady Amelia. The old Marchioness felt a real longing to see "dear
Mary," and to ask becoming questions as to her condition. And it was
quite understood that she was not to be required to make any cloaks or
petticoats. The garments respecting which she must be solicitous for
the next six months would, as the Marchioness felt, be of a very august
nature. Oh, that the future baby might be born at Manor Cross! The
Marchioness did not see why Lord George should leave the house at all.
Brotherton couldn't know anything about it in Italy, and if George must
go, Mary might surely be left there for the event. The Marchioness
declared that she could die happy if she might see another Popenjoy
born in the purple of Manor Cross.
"When am I to go?" asked Mary. She was sitting now close to him, and
the question was asked with full delight.
"I do not know whether you can be ready to-morrow."
"Of course I can be ready to-morrow. Oh George, to be back with you!
Even for ten days it seems to be a great happiness. But if you go, then
of course you will take me with you." There was a reality about this
which conquered him, even in spite of Captain De Baron, so that he came
down to dinner in good-humour with the world.