The last farewells were said, friends hurried ashore,--
The screw threshed foam, and jarred; the pier slid by;
Hands went to ears to still the siren’s roar,
Handkerchiefs waved, and there was call and cry;
Over it all, austere and pure and high,
Glittering snow and gold, the towers looked down,--
Serene and cold, regardless of the town.
The wind blew north; and gravely on it came
The trolling of the Metropolitan bells,
First the four chimes, softly as puffs of flame,
Then the deep five ... Slow, gentle gleaming swells
Came glancing in the sun, with ocean smells,
Up from the harbor and the further sea;
Over the stern poised white gulls, giddily.
Over the stern they poised and dipped and glanced,
Now dull in shade, now shining in bright sun,
And one youth watched them as they whirled and danced,
And noticed how they circled, one by one;
To have those wings, that freedom,--God, what fun!--
And watching them he felt youth in him, strong,
Wings in his blood, and in his heart a song.
Autumn! Already now the keen wind nipped,
The skies arched cold bright blue, the leaves were turning;
Whitely over the waves the cold squalls whipped;
Scarlet and pale, the maple trees were burning,
Tossing in gusts, and whirling and returning,
On Staten Island, wonderfully afire;
In bacchic song they flamed, with mad desire.
Autumn! bringing to old adventures death,
Sadness at all things past, things passing still,
Touching all earth with strange and mystic breath,
Veiling all earth in fire ere winter kill;
Even this youth felt now his deep heart fill
With a grey tide of mystery and sadness,
Poignant sorrow for all past hours of gladness....
Those times--would others come as keen as they?
Was life to come as living as life past?--
Ah, he was youth, life could not say him nay,--
The blood sang swift in him, doubt could not last;
Let all life dead beneath his feet be cast
And he would trample it, divinely singing:
Life lay before, more rapturous music bringing!
More lusts, more shining eyes, more dizzy laughter,
More, madder music, flute and violin,
With drums before and roses showered after,
Always in new bliss drowning his old sin;
Sin?--Was it that?--And straight in merry din
Of song and shout and laugh this thought was lost;
It was no sin to live, whate’er the cost!...
High overhead the Brooklyn bridges passed,
Span upon span and rumorous with cars,
Their shadows on the deck a moment cast,
With dizzy thunder from their traffic’s wars;
Those grey stone piers would soon be crowned with stars,--
Even now their brows were soft with waning sun;
The homeward march of armies was begun.
Good-bye, old bridges! And New York, good-bye!
Northward the engines took him; now no more
His gaze hung here; he watched the western sky
Blazing with vision-isles and faery shore;
Northward the vibrant ship beneath him bore;
The Sound spread out before them, wide and blue,
Clean came the wind whereon the sea-gulls flew....
Soft fields, the flaming trees, a twilight farm ...
New York was gone. He drew deep breaths of air,
Keen as keen fire it was; then slow and calm,
He turned to walk ... when lo, a girl came there,
Deep sunset in her eyes and on her hair,
Her white dress clinging to her knees, one hand
Rising to shade her blue eyes; as she scanned
The swiftly gliding shore, the passing ships,
The bell-buoys, bobbing and tolling in the tide....
A moment, breath hung lifeless on his lips,
His heart froze quiet; no one was at her side;
Faintly, he smiled; he thought her eyes replied,
Remote lights meeting in them,--quickening;
He passed, and all his body seemed to sing....
He passed, then turned; and, as he turned, she turned,--
Her eyes met his eyes shyly, then again
She looked away, and all her soft face burned,
And all her virgin heart was big with pain.
From the saloon below came soft a strain
Of some new rag-time, bidding feet to move,
Imploring hands to cling, young hearts to love....
Sweetly it came, seductive, soft bizarre,
Huddled and breathless now, now note by note
Crying its separate pain ... now near, now far ...
Mingled with all the throbbing of the boat.
How beautiful! the first star came, to float
Impalpable in dusk, low in the east;
It seemed to sing on when the music ceased.
Herald of love, lo, love itself it seemed,
Singing into the twilight of her soul....
How beautiful!... across dark waters gleamed
Red lights and green, she heard a bell-buoy toll
Suddenly caught in the after-wash’s roll;
A smell of autumn fires came down the wind;
Beauty so keen it seemed it must have sinned....
What was this night, what did it bring to her,
What flower unfolded in its darkness now?
She was this night; she felt her deep soul stir,
The slow strange stir of blossoms in the bough....
How beautiful! She watched the forefoot plough
Sheer through the foaming black, the white waves gliding
Dizzily past, now swelling, now subsiding....
O Youth, O music, O sweet wizardry
Of young life sung like fire through beating veins!
O covering darkness and persuasive sea!
O night of stars, of blisses and of pains!
But most, O Youth, that but an hour remains,--
Be fierce, be sweet with us before you go;
For, knowing you, the best of life we know.
Enchanted so she watched dark waters slipping
Swiftly and dizzily past the sheer black side,
Watched the fierce wind in sudden flurries whipping
The torn spray from the waves, against the tide;
High among stars she saw the mast-head glide,--
Steadily now, now swinging slowly, slightly,
There the high mast-head lantern burning brightly....
O Youth, O music, O sweet wizardy,--
O covering darkness of mysterious night!--
She turned; along the dark deck, quietly,
He came again; an open door shed light
Strongly across him for a space, then fright
Suddenly set her wild heart beating, beating,--
Suddenly set her endlessly repeating
“I mustn’t speak! I mustn’t speak!”--And then
He stood beside her, close and warm and strong,
And she knew sudden the beauty that’s in men,
And all her blood flew musical with song....
“--Beautiful, isn’t it?--Have you known it long?”--
Calmly he looked at her, and gently spoke.
She nodded, lightly; then the warm words broke
Easily, quickly, fervently from her heart,
All the restraint of all her youth was gone,
She felt a thousand warm new instincts start
Out of her soul, birds taking wing with dawn,
Singing their hearts out ... With a deep breath drawn,
“Yes! I’ve known it for years, and loved it, too;
Beautiful!--This--is this the first for you?”
They talked, in low tones; and the sound of sea,
Falling of foam and swish of dropping spray,
Encircled them with song, incessantly;--
They felt alone, the world seemed far away.
They two! they two! so seemed the night to say;
A darkness and a stealing fragrance came
Spreading through all their souls, silent as flame....
O beauty of being a living thing, she thought,--
Of drawing breath beneath these stars, this sky!--
O beautiful fire that from his eyes she caught,
That made her breath rise quick, her lips burn dry!
What was this thing? Dread came, she scarce knew why,--
Impulsively she went; yet she had given
Her word to dine with him, her earth was heaven.
He watched her go, and smiled,--her white dress blowing,
Softly in dark,--so young, so sweet, so brave!
She was so pure! by God, there was no knowing,--
And he had half a mind, still, to behave....
No, though: far better take what fortune gave,--
Dance to the music that was played for him;
Smiling he mused of her, his eyes grew dim,--
And he could feel her warmness by his side,
And all his body flushed with sweet desire
To take her shining loveliness for bride,
To kiss, to fuse with her in single fire....
O youth, O young heart musical as a lyre!
O covering darkness of mysterious night!
He knew these things; his heart was filled with light....
What was one more? Pah, how he scorned this qualm!
Innocent? Such girls seem--but never are.
No, he was not her first.... And cold and calm
He turned and sought the brightly-lighted bar....
The music rose, through shut doors, faint and far,
Wailful.... Down in her stateroom mirror there
A young girl eyed herself, with frightened stare.