From _Saturday, Jan. 7_, to _Tuesday, Jan. 10, 1709-10_.
Lusisti satis, edisti satis atque bibisti;
Tempus abire tibi....--HOR., 2 Ep. ii. 214.
* * * * *
_From my own Apartment, January 8._
I thought to have given over my prosecution of the dead for this season,
having by me many other projects for the reformation of mankind; but I
have received so many complaints from such different hands, that I shall
disoblige multitudes of my correspondents, if I do not take notice of
them. Some of the deceased, who I thought had been laid quietly in their
graves, are such hobgoblins in public assemblies, that I must be forced
to deal with them as Evander did with his triple-lived adversary, who,
according to Virgil, was forced to kill him thrice over before he could
despatch him.
"_Ter leto sternendus erat._"[15]
I am likewise informed, that several wives of my dead men have, since
the decease of their husbands, been seen in many public places without
mourning, or regard to common decency.
I am further advised, that several of the defunct, contrary to the
Woollen Act,[16] presume to dress themselves in lace, embroidery, silks,
muslins, and other ornaments forbidden to persons in their condition.
These and other the like informations moving me thereunto, I must
desire, for distinction-sake, and to conclude this subject for ever,
that when any of these posthumous persons appear, or are spoken of,
their wives may be called "widows"; their houses, "sepulchres"; their
chariots, "hearses"; and their garments, "flannel": on which condition,
they shall be allowed all the conveniences that dead men can in reason
desire.
* * * * *
As I was writing this morning on this subject, I received the following
letter:
"MR. BICKERSTAFF, _From the Banks of Styx_.
"I must confess I treated you very scurrilously when you first sent
me hither; but you have despatched such multitudes after me to keep
me in countenance, that I am very well reconciled both to you and
my condition. We live very lovingly together; for as death makes
us all equal, it makes us very much delight in one another's
company. Our time passes away much after the same manner as it did
when we were among you: eating, drinking, and sleeping, are our
chief diversions. Our quidnuncs between whiles go to a
coffee-house, where they have several warm liquors made of the
waters of Lethe, with very good poppy tea. We that are the
sprightly geniuses of the place, refresh ourselves frequently with
a bottle of mum,[17] and tell stories till we fall asleep. You
would do well to send among us Mr. Dodwell's[18] book against the
immortality of the soul, which would be of great consolation to our
whole fraternity, who would be very glad to find that they are dead
for good and all, and would in particular make me rest for ever,
"Yours,
"JOHN PARTRIDGE.
"P.S.--Sir James[19] is just arrived here in good health."
The foregoing letter was the more pleasing to me, because I perceive
some little symptoms in it of a resuscitation; and having lately seen
the predictions of this author, which are written in a true Protestant
spirit of prophecy, and a particular zeal against the French king, I
have some thoughts of sending for him from the Banks of Styx, and
reinstating him in his own house, at the sign of the Globe in Salisbury
Street. For the encouragement of him and others, I shall offer to their
consideration a letter which gives me an account of the revival of one
of their brethren:
"SIR, _December 31._
"I have perused your _Tatler_ of this day,[20] and have wept over
it with great pleasure: I wish you would be more frequent in your
family pieces. For as I consider you under the notion of a great
designer, I think these are not your least valuable performances. I
am glad to find you have given over your face painting for some
time, because, I think, you have employed yourself more in
grotesque figures, than in beauties; for which reason, I would
rather see you work upon history pieces, than on single portraits.
Your several draughts of dead men appear to me as pictures of still
life, and have done great good in the place where I live. The
squire of a neighbouring village, who had been a long time in the
number of nonentities, is entirely recovered by them. For these
several years past, there was not a hare in the county that could
be at rest for him; and I think, the greatest exploit he ever
boasted of, was, that when he was high sheriff of the county, he
hunted a fox so far, that he could not follow him any farther by
the laws of the land. All the hours he spent at home, were in
swilling[21] himself with October, and rehearsing the wonders he
did in the field. Upon reading your papers, he has sold his dogs,
shook off his dead companions, looked into his estate, got the
multiplication table by heart, paid his tithes, and intends to take
upon him the office of churchwarden next year. I wish the same
success with your other patients, and am, &c."
_Ditto, January 9._
When I came home this evening, a very tight middle-aged woman presented
to me the following petition:
"_To the Worshipful Isaac Bickerstaff, Esq., Censor of Great
Britain._
"The humble petition of Penelope Prim, widow;
"Sheweth,
"That your petitioner was bred a clear-starcher and sempstress, and
for many years worked to the Exchange; and to several aldermen's
wives, lawyers' clerks, and merchants' apprentices.
"That through the scarcity caused by regraters of bread-corn (of
which starch is made) and the gentry's immoderate frequenting the
operas, the ladies, to save charges, have their heads washed at
home, and the beaus put out their linen to common laundresses, so
that your petitioner hath little or no work at her trade: for want
of which she is reduced to such necessity, that she and her seven
fatherless children must inevitably perish, unless relieved by your
worship.
"That your petitioner is informed, that in contempt of your
judgment pronounced on Tuesday the third instant against the
new-fashioned petticoat, or old-fashioned farthingale,[22] the
ladies design to go on in that dress. And since it is presumed your
worship will not suppress them by force, your petitioner humbly
desires you would order, that ruffs may be added to the dress; and
that she may be heard by her counsel, who has assured your
petitioner, he has such cogent reasons to offer to your court, that
ruffs and farthingales are inseparable; and that he questions not
but two-thirds of the greatest beauties about town will have
cambric collars on their necks before the end of Easter Term next.
He further says, that the design of our great-grandmothers in this
petticoat, was to appear much bigger than the life; for which
reason, they had false shoulder-blades, like wings, and the ruff
above mentioned, to make their upper and lower parts of their
bodies appear proportionable; whereas the figure of a woman in the
present dress, bears (as he calls it) the figure of a cone, which
(as he advises) is the same with that of an extinguisher, with a
little knob at the upper end, and widening downward, till it ends
in a basis of a most enormous circumference.
"Your petitioner therefore most humbly prays, that you would
restore the ruff to the farthingale, which in their nature ought to
be as inseparable as the two Hungarian twins.[23]
"And your Petitioner shall ever pray."
I have examined into the allegations of this petition, and find, by
several ancient pictures of my own predecessors, particularly that of
Dame Deborah Bickerstaff, my great-grandmother, that the ruff and
farthingale are made use of as absolutely necessary to preserve the
symmetry of the figure; and Mrs. Pyramid Bickerstaff, her second sister,
is recorded in our family-book, with some observations to her
disadvantage, as the first female of our house that discovered, to any
besides her nurse and her husband, an inch below her chin or above her
instep. This convinces me of the reasonableness of Mrs. Prim's demand;
and therefore I shall not allow the reviving of any one part of that
ancient mode, except the whole is complied with. Mrs. Prim is therefore
hereby empowered to carry home ruffs to such as she shall see in the
above-mentioned petticoats, and require payment on demand.
* * * * *
Mr. Bickerstaff has under consideration the offer from the Corporation
of Colchester of four hundred pounds per annum, to be paid quarterly,
provided that all his dead persons shall be obliged to wear the baize of
that place.
[Footnote 14: Nichols suggests that Addison was at least partly
responsible for this paper.]
[Footnote 15: "AEneid," viii. 566.]
[Footnote 16: The Act "for burying in wool" (30 Charles II. cap. 3) was
intended to protect homespun goods. Sometimes a fine was paid for
allowing a person of position to be "buried in linen, contrary to the
Act of Parliament." The widow in Steele's "Funeral" (act v. sc. 2) says:
"Take care I ain't buried in flannel; 'twould never become me, I'm
sure." See, too, Pope's "Moral Essays," i. 246:
"'Odious! in woollen! 'twould a saint provoke,'
Were the last words that poor Narcissa spoke."
]
[Footnote 17: Ale brewed with wheat. John Philips ("Cyder," ii. 231)
speaks of "bowls of fattening mum."]
[Footnote 18: Henry Dodwell, the nonjuror, died in 1711, in his
seventieth year. He tried to prove that immortality was conferred on the
soul only at baptism, by the gift of God, through the hands of the
ordained clergy. The title of the book alluded to is "An Epistolary
Discourse concerning the Soul's Immortality."]
[Footnote 19: Sir James Baker. See No. 115.]
[Footnote 20: No. 114.]
[Footnote 21: The original editions read "swelling."]
[Footnote 22: See No. 116.]
[Footnote 23: Helen and Judith, two united twin-sisters, were born at
Tzoni, in Hungary, October 26, 1701; lived to the age of twenty-one, and
died in a convent at Petersburg, February 23, 1723. The mother, it is
said, survived their birth, bore another child afterwards, and was alive
when her singular twins were shown here, at a house in the Strand, near
Charing Cross, in 1708. The writers of a periodical publication at that
time seem to have examined them carefully, with a view to enable
themselves to answer the many questions of their correspondents
concerning them. See "The British Apollo," vol. i, Nos. 35, 36, 37, &c.
(1708), and the Royal Society's "Phil. Transact." vol. I. part 1, for
the year 1757, art. 39. Nothing more can be well said of the Hungarian
twins here, but that they were well shaped, had beautiful faces, and
loved each other tenderly; they could read, write, and sing very
prettily; they spoke the Hungarian, High and Low Dutch, and French
languages, and learnt English when they were in this country (Nichols).]
No. 119. [ADDISON.
From _Tuesday, Jan. 10_, to _Thursday, Jan. 12, 1709-10_.
In tenui labor.--VIRG., Georg. iv. 6.
* * * * *
_Sheer Lane, January 11._
I have lately applied myself with much satisfaction to the curious
discoveries that have been made by the help of microscopes, as they are
related by authors of our own and other nations. There is a great deal
of pleasure in prying into this world of wonders, which Nature has laid
out of sight, and seems industrious to conceal from us. Philosophy had
ranged over all the visible creation, and began to want objects for her
inquiries, when the present age, by the invention of glasses, opened a
new and inexhaustible magazine of rarities, more wonderful and amazing
than any of those which astonished our forefathers. I was yesterday
amusing myself with speculations of this kind, and reflecting upon
myriads of animals that swim in those little seas of juices that are
contained in the several vessels of a human body. While my mind was thus
filled with that secret wonder and delight, I could not but look upon
myself as in an act of devotion, and am very well pleased with the
thought of the great heathen anatomist,[24] who calls his description of
the parts of a human body, "A Hymn to the Supreme Being." The reading of
the day produced in my imagination an agreeable morning's dream, if I
may call it such; for I am still in doubt, whether it passed in my
sleeping or waking thoughts. However it was, I fancied that my good
genius stood at my bed's head, and entertained me with the following
discourse; for upon my rising, it dwelt so strongly upon me, that I
wrote down the substance of it, if not the very words.
"If," said he, "you can be so transported with those productions of
nature which are discovered to you by those artificial eyes that are the
works of human invention, how great will your surprise be, when you
shall have it in your power to model your own eye as you please, and
adapt it to the bulk of objects, which, with all these helps, are by
infinite degrees too minute for your perception. We who are unbodied
spirits can sharpen our sight to what degree we think fit, and make the
least work of the creation distinct and visible. This gives us such
ideas as cannot possibly enter into your present conceptions. There is
not the least particle of matter which may not furnish one of us
sufficient employment for a whole eternity. We can still divide it, and
still open it, and still discover new wonders of Providence, as we look
into the different texture of its parts, and meet with beds of
vegetables, mineral and metallic mixtures, and several kinds of animals
that lie hid, and as it were lost in such an endless fund of matter. I
find you are surprised at this discourse; but as your reason tells you
there are infinite parts in the smallest portion of matter, it will
likewise convince you, that there is as great a variety of secrets, and
as much room for discoveries, in a particle no bigger than the point of
a pin, as in the globe of the whole earth. Your microscopes bring to
sight shoals of living creatures in a spoonful of vinegar; but we who
can distinguish them in their different magnitudes, see among them
several huge leviathans, that terrify the little fry of animals about
them, and take their pastime as in an ocean, or the great deep." I could
not but smile at this part of his relation, and told him, I doubted not
but he could give me the history of several invisible giants,
accompanied with their respective dwarfs, in case that any of these
little beings are of a human shape. "You may assure yourself," said he,
"that we see in these little animals different natures, instincts and
modes of life, which correspond to what you observe in creatures of
bigger dimensions. We descry millions of species subsisted on a green
leaf, which your glasses represent only in crowds and swarms. What
appears to your eye but as hair or down rising on the surface of it, we
find to be woods and forests, inhabited by beasts of prey, that are as
dreadful in those their little haunts, as lions and tigers in the
deserts of Libya." I was much delighted with his discourse, and could
not forbear telling him, that I should be wonderfully pleased to see a
natural history of imperceptibles, containing a true account of such
vegetables and animals as grow and live out of sight. "Such
disquisitions," answered he, "are very suitable to reasonable creatures;
and you may be sure, there are many curious spirits amongst us who
employ themselves in such amusements. For as our hands, and all our
senses, may be formed to what degree of strength and delicacy we please,
in the same manner as our sight, we can make what experiments we are
inclined to, how small soever the matter be in which we make them. I
have been present at the dissection of a mite, and have seen the
skeleton of a flea. I have been shown a forest of numberless trees,
which has been picked out of an acorn. Your microscope can show you in
it a complete oak in miniature; and could you suit all your organs as we
do, you might pluck an acorn from this little oak, which contains
another tree; and so proceed from tree to tree, as long as you would
think fit to continue your disquisitions. It is almost impossible,"
added he, "to talk of things so remote from common life, and the
ordinary notions which mankind receive from blunt and gross organs of
sense, without appearing extravagant and ridiculous. You have often seen
a dog opened, to observe the circulation of the blood, or make any other
useful inquiry; and yet would be tempted to laugh if I should tell you,
that a circle of much greater philosophers than any of the Royal
Society, were present at the cutting up of one of those little animals
which we find in the blue of a plum: that it was tied down alive before
them; and that they observed the palpitations of the heart, the course
of the blood, the working of the muscles, and the convulsions in the
several limbs, with great accuracy and improvement." "I must confess,"
said I, "for my own part, I go along with you in all your discoveries
with great pleasure; but it is certain, they are too fine for the gross
of mankind, who are more struck with the description of everything that
is great and bulky. Accordingly we find the best judge of human nature
setting forth his wisdom, not in the formation of these minute animals
(though indeed no less wonderful than the other) but in that of the
leviathan and behemoth, the horse and the crocodile."[25] "Your
observation," said he, "is very just; and I must acknowledge for my own
part, that although it is with much delight that I see the traces of
Providence in these instances, I still take greater pleasure in
considering the works of the creation in their immensity, than in their
minuteness. For this reason, I rejoice when I strengthen my sight so as
to make it pierce into the most remote spaces, and take a view of those
heavenly bodies which lie out of the reach of human eyes, though
assisted by telescopes. What you look upon as one confused white in the
Milky Way, appears to me a long tract of heavens, distinguished by stars
that are ranged in proper figures and constellations. While you are
admiring the sky in a starry night, I am entertained with a variety of
worlds and suns placed one above another, and rising up to such an
immense distance, that no created eye can see an end of them."
The latter part of his discourse flung me into such an astonishment,
that he had been silent for some time before I took notice of it; when
on a sudden I started up and drew my curtains, to look if any one was
near me, but saw nobody, and cannot tell to this moment whether it was
my good genius or a dream that left me.
[Footnote 24: Galen, "De Usu Partium."]
[Footnote 25: See Job, chaps. 39-41.]
No. 120. [ADDISON.
From _Thursday, Jan. 12_, to _Saturday, Jan. 14, 1709-10_.
----Velut silvis, ubi passim
Palantes error certo de tramite pellit;
Ille sinistrorsum, hic dextrorsum abit.
HOR., 2 Sat. iii. 48.
* * * * *
_Sheer Lane, January 13._
Instead of considering any particular passion or character in any one
set of men, my thoughts were last night employed on the contemplation of
human life in general; and truly it appears to me, that the whole
species are hurried on by the same desires, and engaged in the same
pursuits, according to the different stages and divisions of life. Youth
is devoted to lust, middle age to ambition, old age to avarice. These
are the three general motives and principles of action both in good and
bad men; though it must be acknowledged, that they change their names,
and resign their natures, according to the temper of the person whom
they direct and animate. For with the good, lust becomes virtuous love;
ambition, true honour; and avarice, the care of posterity. This scheme
of thought amused me very agreeably till I retired to rest, and
afterwards formed itself into a pleasing and regular vision, which I
shall describe in all its circumstances, as the objects presented
themselves, whether in a serious or ridiculous manner.
I dreamed that I was in a wood, of so prodigious an extent, and cut into
such a variety of walks and alleys, that all mankind were lost and
bewildered in it. After having wandered up and down some time, I came
into the centre of it, which opened into a wide plain, that was filled
with multitudes of both sexes. I here discovered three great roads, very
wide and long, that led into three different parts of the forest. On a
sudden, the whole multitude broke into three parts, according to their
different ages, and marched in their respective bodies into the three
great roads that lay before them. As I had a mind to know how each of
these roads terminated, and whither it would lead those who passed
through them, I joined myself with the assembly that were in the flower
and vigour of their age, and called themselves, "The Band of Lovers." I
found to my great surprise, that several old men besides myself had
intruded into this agreeable company; as I had before observed, there
were some young men who had united themselves to the Band of Misers, and
were walking up the path of avarice; though both made a very ridiculous
figure, and were as much laughed at by those they joined, as by those
they forsook. The walk which we marched up, for thickness of shades,
embroidery of flowers, and melody of birds, with the distant purling of
streams, and falls of water, was so wonderfully delightful, that it
charmed our senses, and intoxicated our minds with pleasure. We had not
been long here, before every man singled out some woman to whom he
offered his addresses and professed himself a lover; when on a sudden we
perceived this delicious walk to grow more narrow as we advanced in it,
till it ended in many intricate thickets, mazes and labyrinths, that
were so mixed with roses and brambles, brakes of thorns, and beds of
flowers, rocky paths and pleasing grottoes, that it was hard to say,
whether it gave greater delight or perplexity to those who travelled in
it.
It was here that the lovers began to be eager in their pursuits. Some of
their mistresses, who only seemed to retire for the sake of form and
decency, led them into plantations that were disposed into regular
walks; where, after they had wheeled about in some turns and windings,
they suffered themselves to be overtaken, and gave their hands to those
who pursued them. Others withdrew from their followers into little
wildernesses, where there were so many paths interwoven with each other
in so much confusion and irregularity, that several of the lovers
quitted the pursuit, or broke their hearts in the chase. It was
sometimes very odd to see a man pursuing a fine woman that was following
another, whose eye was fixed upon a fourth, that had her own game in
view in some other quarter of the wilderness. I could not but observe
two things in this place which I thought very particular, that several
persons who stood only at the end of the avenues, and cast a careless
eye upon the nymphs during their whole flight, often caught them, when
those who pressed them the most warmly through all their turns and
doubles, were wholly unsuccessful: and that some of my own age, who were
at first looked upon with aversion and contempt, by being well
acquainted with the wilderness, and by dodging their women in the
particular corners and alleys of it, caught them in their arms, and took
them from those they really loved and admired. There was a particular
grove, which was called, "The Labyrinth of Coquettes"; where many were
enticed to the chase, but few returned with purchase. It was pleasant
enough to see a celebrated beauty, by smiling upon one, casting a glance
upon another, beckoning to a third, and adapting her charms and graces
to the several follies of those that admired her, drawing into the
labyrinth a whole pack of lovers, that lost themselves in the maze, and
never could find their way out of it. However, it was some satisfaction
to me, to see many of the fair ones who had thus deluded their
followers, and left them among the intricacies of the labyrinth, obliged
when they came out of it, to surrender to the first partner that
offered himself. I now had crossed over all the difficult and perplexed
passages that seemed to bound our walk, when on the other side of them,
I saw the same great road running on a little way, till it was
terminated by two beautiful temples. I stood here for some time, and saw
most of the multitude who had been dispersed amongst the thickets,
coming out two by two, and marching up in pairs towards the temples that
stood before us. The structure on the right hand was (as I afterwards
found) consecrated to virtuous love, and could not be entered but by
such as received a ring, or some other token, from a person who was
placed as a guard at the gate of it. He wore a garland of roses and
myrtles on his head, and on his shoulders a robe like an imperial
mantle, white and unspotted all over, excepting only, that where it was
clasped at his breast, there were two golden turtle-doves that buttoned
it by their bills, which were wrought in rubies. He was called by the
name of Hymen, and was seated near the entrance of the temple, in a
delicious bower, made up of several trees, that were embraced by
woodbines, jessamines, and amaranths, which were as so many emblems of
marriage, and ornaments to the trunks that supported them. As I was
single and unaccompanied, I was not permitted to enter the temple, and
for that reason am a stranger to all the mysteries that were performed
in it. I had however the curiosity to observe how the several couples
that entered were disposed of; which was after the following manner.
There were two great gates on the back side of the edifice, at which the
whole crowd was let out. At one of these gates were two women, extremely
beautiful, though in a different kind, the one having a very careful and
composed air, the other a sort of smile and ineffable sweetness in her
countenance. The name of the first was Discretion, and of the other
Complacency, All who came out of this gate, and put themselves under the
direction of these two sisters, were immediately conducted by them into
gardens, groves, and meadows, which abounded in delights, and were
furnished with everything that could make them the proper seats of
happiness. The second gate of this temple let out all the couples that
were unhappily married, who came out linked together by chains, which
each of them strove to break, but could not. Several of these were such
as had never been acquainted with each other before they met in the
great walk, or had been too well acquainted in the thicket. The entrance
to this gate was possessed by three sisters, who joined themselves with
these wretches, and occasioned most of their miseries. The youngest of
the sisters was known by the name of Levity, who with the innocence of a
virgin, had the dress and behaviour of a harlot. The name of the second
was Contention, who bore on her right arm a muff made of the skin of a
porcupine; and on her left carried a little lap-dog, that barked and
snapped at every one that passed by her.
The eldest of the sisters, who seemed to have a haughty and imperious
air, was always accompanied with a tawny Cupid, who generally marched
before her with a little mace on his shoulder, the end of which was
fashioned into the horns of a stag. Her garments were yellow, and her
complexion pale. Her eyes were piercing, but had odd casts in them, and
that particular distemper, which makes persons who are troubled with it,
see objects double. Upon inquiry, I was informed that her name was
Jealousy.
Having finished my observations upon this temple, and its votaries, I
repaired to that which stood on the left hand, and was called, "The
Temple of Lust." The front of it was raised on Corinthian pillars, with
all the meretricious ornaments that accompany that order; whereas that
of the other was composed of the chaste and matronlike Ionic. The sides
of it were adorned with several grotesque figures of goats, sparrows,
heathen gods, satyrs, and monsters made up of half-man half-beast. The
gates were unguarded, and open to all that had a mind to enter. Upon my
going in, I found the windows were blinded, and let in only a kind of
twilight, that served to discover a prodigious number of dark corners
and apartments, into which the whole temple was divided. I was here
stunned with a mixed noise of clamour and jollity: on one side of me, I
heard singing and dancing; on the other, brawls and clashing of swords.
In short, I was so little pleased with the place, that I was going out
of it; but found I could not return by the gate where I entered, which
was barred against all that were come in, with bolts of iron, and locks
of adamant. There was no going back from this temple through the paths
of pleasure which led to it: all who passed through the ceremonies of
the place, went out at an iron wicket, which was kept by a dreadful
giant called Remorse, that held a scourge of scorpions in his hand, and
drove them into the only outlet from that temple. This was a passage so
rugged, so uneven, and choked with so many thorns and briars, that it
was a melancholy spectacle to behold the pains and difficulties which
both sexes suffered who walked through it. The men, though in the prime
of their youth, appeared weak and enfeebled with old age: the women
wrung their hands, and tore their hair; and several lost their limbs
before they could extricate themselves out of the perplexities of the
path in which they were engaged. The remaining part of this vision, and
the adventures I met with in the two great roads of ambition and
avarice, must be the subject of another paper.