THE COURTSHIP OF MAN
Speaking of the male and female reproductive cells of plants, Professor
Sachs remarks that, wherever we are able to observe an external
difference between the two, the male cell behaves actively in the
union, the female passively.[917] In this respect there is an analogy
between plants and many of the lower animals. In the case of some
lowly-organised animals, which are permanently affixed to the same
spot, the male element is invariably brought to the female. There are
other instances in which the females alone are fixed, and the males
must be the seekers. Even when the males and females of a species
are both free, it is almost always the males that first approach the
females.[918]
As Mr. Darwin points out, we can see the reason why, in the first
instance, the male plays the active part:—“Even if the ova were
detached before fertilisation, and did not require subsequent
nourishment or protection, there would yet be greater difficulty in
transporting them than the male element because, being larger than
the latter, they are produced in far smaller numbers.”[919] He adds,
however, that, with respect to forms of which the progenitors were
primordially free, it is difficult to understand why the males should
invariably have acquired the habit of approaching the females, instead
of being approached by them. Perhaps the explanation may be that the
seeker is more exposed to danger than the one sought after, and that
the death of a male at the pairing time is less disadvantageous for
the existence of the species than the death of a female. At any rate,
we may say with Mr. Darwin that it is necessary that the males should
be endowed with strong passions in order that they may be efficient
seekers; and the acquirement of such passions would naturally follow
from the more eager males leaving a larger number of offspring than the
less eager.[920]
The rule holds good for the human race, the man generally playing a
more active, the woman a more passive, part in courtship. The latter,
as it has been said, “requires to be courted.” Yet, curiously enough,
there are a few peoples among whom the reverse seems to be the case,
just as, among the lower animals also, there are some species of which
the females are the courters.[921] Among the Moquis in New Mexico,
according to Dr. Broeck, “instead of the swain asking the hand of the
fair one, she selects the young man who is to her fancy, and then her
father proposes the match to the sire of the lucky youth.”[922] In
Paraguay, we are told, the women were generally endowed with stronger
passions than the men,[923] and were allowed to make proposals;[924]
and among the Garos, according to Colonel Dalton, it is not only
the privilege but even the duty of the girl to speak first, any
infringement of this rule being summarily and severely punished. “If
a male makes advances to a girl,” he says, “and the latter, rejecting
them, chooses also to tell her friends that such tenders of affection
have been made to her, it is looked on as an insult to the whole
‘mahári’ (motherhood) to which the girl belongs, a stain only to be
obliterated by the blood of pigs, and liberal libations of beer at the
expense of the ‘mahári’ to which the man belongs.”[925] According
to Mr. Batchelor, it constantly occurs among the Ainos that the
proposal of marriage comes in the first place from the girl;[926] and
in Polynesia,[927] as also among the Kafirs of Natal[928] and certain
tribes in Oregon,[929] the same is sometimes the case.
It often happens that the parents of both parties make up the match;
and among several peoples the man pays his suit by proxy. But these
instances are of no particular importance.
* * * * *
In most animal species courtship takes place in nearly the same way.
During the season of love, the males even of the most timid animals
engage in desperate combats with each other for the possession of the
female, and she, although comparatively passive, nevertheless often
exercises a choice, selecting one of the rivals. This fighting for a
female occurs even among insects,[930] and is of universal prevalence
in the order of the Vertebrata. We may, with Haeckel, regard it as a
modification and a special kind of the struggle for existence.[931]
There can be no doubt that our primeval human ancestors had, in the
same way, to combat for their brides. Even now this kind of courtship
is far from being unknown. Speaking of the Northern Indians, Hearne
states that “it has ever been the custom among those people for the men
to wrestle for any woman to whom they are attached; and, of course, the
strongest party always carries off the prize. A weak man, unless he
be a good hunter and well-beloved, is seldom permitted to keep a wife
that a stronger man thinks worth his notice.... This custom prevails
throughout all their tribes, and causes a great spirit of emulation
among their youth, who are upon all occasions, from their childhood,
trying their strength and skill in wrestling.[932] Richardson also saw,
more than once, a stronger man assert his right to take the wife of a
weaker countryman. “Any one,” he says, “may challenge another to
wrestle, and, if he overcomes, may carry off his wife as the prize....
The bereaved husband meets his loss with the resignation which custom
prescribes in such a case, and seeks his revenge by taking the wife
of another man weaker than himself.”[933] With reference to the Slave
Indians, Mr. Hooper says, “If a man desire to despoil his neighbour of
his wife, a trial of strength of a curious nature ensues: they seize
each other by the hair, which is worn long and flowing, and thus strive
for the mastery, until one or another cries _peccavi_. Should the
victor be the envious man, he has to pay a certain number of skins for
the husband-changing woman.”[934]
Among the Californians also, conflicting claims sometimes arise
between two or more men in regard to a woman; and, among the Patwin,
it occasionally happened that men who had a quarrel about a woman
fought a duel with bows and arrows at long distances.[935] In Mexico,
a duel often decided the conflict between two competing suitors.[936]
Among the Guanas, according to Azara, the men frequently do not marry
till they are twenty years old or more, as before that age they cannot
conquer their rivals.[937] Among the Muras, the wives are most commonly
gained in a combat with fists between all the lovers of the girl; and
the same is the case with the Passés.[938]
Among the Australian aborigines, quarrels are perhaps for the most
part occasioned by “the fair sex.”[939] Speaking of the natives near
Herbert Vale, Northern Queensland, Herr Lumholtz says that, “if a
woman is good-looking, all the men want her, and the one who is most
influential, or who is the strongest, is accordingly generally the
victor.”[940] Hence, the majority of the young men must wait a long
time before they get wives, as they have not the courage to fight the
requisite duel for one with an older man.[941] In the tribes of Western
Victoria, described by Mr. Dawson, a young chief who cannot get a wife,
and falls in love with one belonging to a chief who has more than two,
can, with her consent, challenge the husband to single combat, and, if
the husband is defeated, the conqueror makes her his legal wife.[942]
Narcisse Peltier, who, during seventeen years, was detained by a tribe
of Queensland Australians, states that the men “not unfrequently fight
with spears for the possession of a woman.”[943]
In New Zealand, if a girl had two suitors with equal pretensions, a
kind of “pulling match” was arranged in which the girl’s arms were
dragged by each of the suitors in opposite directions, the stronger
man being the victor;[944] and, according to the Rev. R. Taylor, there
is in the Maori language even a special term for denoting such a
struggle.[945] In Samoa, as also in the Fiji Islands, women have always
been one of the chief causes of fighting;[946] and of the natives of
Makin, of the Kingsmill Group, Mr. Wood assures us that “they have
no wars, and very few arms, and seldom quarrel except about their
women.”[947]
Among the South African Bushmans, the “stronger man will sometimes
take away the wife of the weaker.”[948] The people of Wadaï are
notorious for their desperate fights for women; and, among the young
men of Baghirmi, bloody feuds between rivals are far from being of rare
occurrence.[949]
In the islands outside Kamchatka there prevailed formerly a very
curious custom, as reported by Steller. If a husband found that a rival
had been with his wife, he would admit that the rival had at least an
equal claim to her. “Let us try, then,” he would say, “which of us
has the greater right, and shall have her.” After that they would take
off their clothes and begin to beat each other’s backs with sticks;
and he who first fell to the ground, unable to bear any more blows,
lost his right to the woman.[950]
Among the ancient Hindus, says Mr. Samuelson, “it was a custom in
royal circles, when a princess became marriageable, for a tournament
to be held, and the victor was chosen by the princess as her husband.”
This custom was known as the “Swayamvara,” or “Maiden’s Choice,” and
it is often mentioned in the ancient legends.[951]
In Greek legends and myths, we meet with several instances of fighting
or emulation for women. Pausanias tells us that Danaus established a
race for his daughters, and that “he that outran all the rest was to
have the first choice, and take her whom he most approved; he that was
next in order was to have the second choice, and so on to the last; and
those who had no suitors were ordered to wait till new ones came to
the course.”[952] According to Pindar, Antæus, father of a fair-haired
and greatly-praised daughter, who had many suitors, stationed the
whole company of them at the end of the race-course, saying that he
should have her for his bride who should prove foremost in the race and
first touch her garments.[953] Icarus likewise proposed a race for the
suitors of Penelope;[954] and, as Mr. Hamilton remarks, “the triumph
of Odysseus over the Suitors is the real end of the Odyssey.”[955]
According to Dr. Krauss, the South Slavonian youths on Palm Sunday,
the day for presentiments of love, wrestle with each other, believing
that he who proves the stronger will get the prettier wife.[956] Arthur
Young informs us of the following strange custom which prevailed in
the interior of Ireland in his time:—“There is a very ancient custom
here,” he says, “for a number of country neighbours among the poor
people to fix upon some young woman that ought, as they think, to be
married; they also agree upon a young fellow as a proper husband for
her; this determined, they send to the fair one’s cabin to inform her
that on the Sunday following ‘she is to be horsed,’ that is, carried
on men’s backs. She must then provide whisky and cider for a treat, as
all will pay her a visit after mass for a hurling match. As soon as
she is horsed the hurling begins, in which the young fellow appointed
for her husband has the eyes of all the company fixed on him: if he
comes off conqueror, he is certainly married to the girl; but if
another is victorious, he as certainly loses her, for she is the prize
of the victor.... Sometimes one barony hurls against another, but a
marriageable girl is always the prize.”[957]
* * * * *
The sexual struggle in the animal kingdom is not always of a violent
kind. As Mr. Darwin has pointed out, males often try by peaceful
emulation to charm the female. In many species of birds the male seems
to endeavour to gain his bride by displaying his colours and ornaments
before her, or exciting her by his love-notes, songs, and antics. But
among the lower Mammals he wins her, apparently, much more through
the law of battle than through the display of his charms.[958] There
can scarcely be any doubt that the same was the case with primitive
men; but we need not mount many steps of human progress to find that
courtship involves something more than a mere act of strength or
courage on the part of the male. It is not only in civilized countries
that it often means a prolonged making of love to the woman. Mariner’s
words with reference to the women of Tonga hold true for a great many,
not to say all, savage and barbarous races now existing. “It must
not be supposed,” he says, “that these women are always easily won;
the greatest attentions and most fervent solicitations are sometimes
requisite, even though there be no other lover in the way. This happens
sometimes from a spirit of coquetry, at other times from a dislike to
the party, &c.”[959]
Though generally playing the less active part in courtship, the woman
does not by any means indulge in complete passivity. Mr. Hooper tells
us that, among the Indians at James’s Bay, “two young Indian women
were observed some years ago in violent conflict.... After a lengthened
and determined struggle the weakest succumbed to the superior prowess
of her fortunate adversary. It appeared that these girls were in love
with the same man, and had self-instituted this mode of deciding their
claims.”[960] Among the Wintun of California, according to Mr. Powers,
when any man other than a chief attempts to introduce into his wigwam a
second partner of his bosom, the two women dispute for the supremacy,
often in a desperate pitched battle with sharp stones; “they maul each
other’s faces with savage violence, and if one is knocked down her
friends assist her to regain her feet, and the brutal combat is renewed
until one or the other is driven from the wigwam.”[961] Peltier states
that, in the Australian tribe already referred to, the women, of whom
from two to five commonly belong to each man, fight among themselves
about him, “their weapons being heavy staves, with which they beat one
another about the head till the blood flows.”[962] In the Kingsmill
Islands, women sometimes, from jealousy, carry a small weapon, watching
an opportunity of making an attack upon their rivals, desperate
fights being the consequence;[963] and, among the Kamchadales also,
the females are said to have fought for the males.[964] But far more
commonly women try to secure men’s love by coquetry or the display of
their charms. Finally, whilst the men are generally the courters, the
women may in many, perhaps most cases, accept or refuse their proposals
at pleasure.
The next chapter will be devoted to an account of some of the most
common means by which the sexes endeavour, or formerly endeavoured,
to make themselves attractive to one another, and to stimulate each
other’s passions. Then we shall see how far woman has the liberty of
disposing of her own hand, and, at the same time, note cases in which
the man also, with regard to his marriage, has to submit to some
other’s will.