Start for Caerfili—Johanna Colgan—Alms-Giving—The Monstrous Female—The
Evil Prayer—The Next Day—The Aifrionn—Unclean
Spirits—Expectation—Wreaking Vengeance—A Decent Alms.
I left Merthyr about twelve o’clock for Caerfili. My course lay along
the valley to the south-east. I passed a large village called Troed y
Rhiw, or the foot of the slope, from its being at the foot of a lofty
elevation, which stands on the left-hand side of the road, and was
speeding onwards fast, with the Taf at some distance on my right, when I
saw a strange-looking woman advancing towards me. She seemed between
forty and fifty, was bare-footed and bare-headed, with grizzled hair
hanging in elf locks, and was dressed in rags and tatters. When about
ten yards from me, she pitched forward, gave three or four grotesque
tumbles, heels over head, then standing bolt upright, about a yard before
me, she raised her right arm, and shouted in a most discordant
voice—“Give me an alms, for the glory of God.”
I stood still, quite confounded. Presently, however, recovering myself,
I said:—“Really, I don’t think it would be for the glory of God to give
you alms.”
“Ye don’t! Then, Biadh an taifronn—however, I’ll give ye a chance yet.
Am I to get my alms or not?”
“Before I give you alms I must know something about you. Who are you?”
“Who am I? Who should I be but Johanna Colgan, a bedivilled woman from
the county of Limerick?”
“And how did you become bedevilled?”
“Because a woman something like myself said an evil prayer over me for
not giving her an alms, which prayer I have at my tongue’s end, and
unless I get my alms will say over you. So for your own sake, honey,
give me my alms, and let me go on my way.”
“O, I am not to be frightened by evil prayers! I shall give you nothing
till I hear all about you.”
“If I tell ye all about me will ye give me an alms?”
“Well, I have no objection to give you something if you tell me your
story.”
“Will ye give me a dacent alms?”
“O, you must leave the amount to my free will and pleasure. I shall give
you what I think fit.”
“Well, so ye shall, honey; and I make no doubt ye will give me a dacent
alms, for I like the look of ye, and knew ye to be an Irishman
half-a-mile off. Only four years ago, instead of being a bedivilled
woman, tumbling about the world, I was as quiet and respectable a widow
as could be found in the county of Limerick. I had a nice little farm at
an aisy rint, horses, cows, pigs, and servants, and, what was better than
all, a couple of fine sons, who were a help and comfort to me. But my
black day was not far off. I was a mighty charitable woman, and always
willing to give to the bacahs and other beggars that came about. Every
morning, before I opened my door, I got ready the alms which I intended
to give away in the course of the day to those that should ask for them,
and I made so good a preparation that, though plenty of cripples and
other unfortunates wandering through the world came to me every day, part
of the alms was sure to remain upon my hands every night when I closed my
door. The alms which I gave away consisted of meal; and I had always a
number of small measures of male standing ready on a board, one of which
I used to empty into the poke of every bacah or other unfortunate who
used to place himself at the side of my door and cry out ‘Ave Maria!’ or
‘In the name of God!’ Well, one morning I sat within my door spinning,
with a little bit of a colleen beside me who waited upon me as servant.
My measures of meal were all ready for the unfortunates who should come,
filled with all the meal in the house; for there was no meal in the house
save what was in those measures—divil a particle, the whole stock being
exhausted; though by evening I expected plenty more, my two sons being
gone to the ballybetagh, which was seven miles distant, for a fresh
supply, and for other things. Well, I sat within my door, spinning, with
my servant by my side to wait upon me, and my measures of male ready for
the unfortunates who might come to ask for alms. There I sat, quite
proud, and more happy than I had ever felt in my life before; and the
unfortunates began to make their appearance. First came a bacah on
crutches; then came a woman with a white swelling; then came an
individual who had nothing at all the matter with him, and was only a
poor unfortunate, wandering about the world; then came a far cake, {591}
a dark man, who was led about by a gossoon; after him a simpley, and
after the simpleton somebody else as much or more unfortunate. And as
the afflicted people arrived and placed themselves by the side of the
door and said ‘Ave Mary,’ or ‘In the name of God,’ or crossed their arms,
or looked down upon the ground, each according to his practice, I got up
and emptied my measure of male into his poke, or whatever he carried
about with him for receiving the alms which might be given to him; and my
measures of male began to be emptied fast, for it seemed that upon that
day, when I happened to be particularly short of meal, all the
unfortunates in the county of Limerick had conspired together to come to
ask me for alms. At last every measure of meal was emptied, and there I
sat in my house with nothing to give away provided an unfortunate should
come. Says I to the colleen: ‘What shall I do provided any more come,
for all the meal is gone and there will be no more before the boys come
home at night from the ballybetagh.’ Says the colleen: ‘If any more
come, can’t ye give them something else?’ Says I: ‘It has always been my
practice to give in meal, and loth should I be to alter it; for if once I
begin to give away other things, I may give away all I have.’ Says the
colleen: ‘Let’s hope no one else will come: there have been thirteen of
them already.’ Scarcely had she said these words, when a monstrous
woman, half-naked, and with a long staff in her hand, on the top of which
was a cross, made her appearance; and placing herself right before the
door, cried out so that you might have heard her for a mile, ‘Give me an
alms for the glory of God.’
“‘Good woman,’ says I to her, ‘you will be kind enough to excuse me: all
the preparation I had made for alms has been given away, for I have
relieved thirteen unfortunates this blessed morning—so may the Virgin
help ye, good woman!’ ‘Give me an alms,’ said the Beanvore, with a
louder voice than before, ‘or it will be worse for you.’ ‘You must
excuse me, dear mistress,’ says I, ‘but I have no more meal in the house.
Those thirteen measures which you see there empty were full this morning,
for what was in them I have given away to unfortunates. So the Virgin
and Child help you.’ ‘Do you choose to give me an alms?’ she shrieked,
so that you might have heard her to Londonderry. ‘If ye have no male
give me something else.’ ‘You must excuse me, good lady,’ said I: ‘it is
my custom to give alms in meal, and in nothing else. I have none in the
house now; but if ye come on the morrow ye shall have a triple measure.
In the meanwhile may the Virgin, Child, and the Holy Trinity assist ye!’
Thereupon she looked at me fixedly for a moment, and then said, not in a
loud voice, but in a low, half-whispered way, which was ten times more
deadly—
“‘Biaidh an taifrionn gan sholas duit a bhean shalach!’
Then turning from the door she went away with long strides. Now, honey,
can ye tell me the meaning of those words?”
“They mean,” said I, “unless I am much mistaken: ‘May the Mass never
comfort ye, you dirty quean!’”
“Ochone! that’s the maning of them, sure enough. They are cramped words,
but I guessed that was the meaning, or something of the kind. Well,
after hearing the evil prayer, I sat for a minute or two quite stunned;
at length recovering myself a bit I said to the colleen: ‘Get up, and run
after the woman and tell her to come back and cross the prayer.’ I meant
by crossing that she should call it back or do something that would take
the venom out of it. Well, the colleen was rather loth to go, for she
was a bit scared herself, but on my beseeching her, she got up and ran
after the woman, and being rather swift of foot, at last, though with
much difficulty, overtook her, and begged her to come back and cross the
prayer, but the divil of a woman would do no such thing, and when the
colleen persisted she told her that if she didn’t go back, she would say
an evil prayer over her too. So the colleen left her, and came back
crying and frightened. All the rest of the day I remained sitting on the
stool speechless, thinking of the prayer which the woman had said, and
wishing I had given her everything I had in the world, rather than she
should have said it. At night came home the boys, and found their mother
sitting on the stool, like one stupefied. ‘What’s the matter with you,
mother?’ they said. ‘Get up and help us to unpack. We have brought home
plenty of things on the car, and amongst others a whole boll of meal.’
‘You might as well have left it behind you,’ said I; ‘this morning a
single measure of male would have been to me of all the assistance in the
world, but I quistion now if I shall ever want meal again.’ They asked
me what had happened to me, and after some time I told them how a
monstrous woman had been to me, and had said an evil prayer over me,
because having no meal in the house I had not given her an alms. ‘Come,
mother,’ said they, ‘get up and help us to unload! never mind the prayer
of the monstrous woman—it is all nonsense.’ Well, I got up and helped
them to unload, and cooked them a bit and sat down with them, and tried
to be merry, but felt that I was no longer the woman that I was. The
next day I didn’t seem to care what became of me, or how matters went on,
and though there was now plenty of meal in the house, not a measure did I
fill with it to give away in the shape of alms; and when the bacahs, and
the liprous women, and the dark men, and the other unfortunates placed
themselves at the side of the door, and gave me to understand that they
wanted alms, each in his or her particular manner, divil an alms did I
give them, but let them stand and took no heed of them, so that at last
they took themselves off grumbling and cursing. And little did I care
for their grumblings and cursings. Two days before I wouldn’t have had
an unfortunate grumble at me, or curse me, for all the riches below the
sun; but now their grumblings and curses didn’t give me the slightest
uneasiness, for I had an evil prayer spoken against me in the Shanna
Gailey by the monstrous woman, and I knew that I was blighted in this
world and the next. In a little time I ceased to pay any heed to the
farming business, or to the affairs of the house, so that my sons had no
comfort in their home. And I took to drink and induced my eldest son to
take to drink too—my youngest son, however, did not take to drink, but
conducted himself well, and toiled and laboured like a horse, and often
begged me and his brother to consider what we were about, and not to go
on in a way which would bring us all to ruin, but I paid no regard to
what he said, and his brother followed my example, so that at last seeing
things were getting worse every day, and that we should soon be turned
out of house and home, for no rint was paid, every penny that could be
got being consumed in waste, he bade us farewell and went and listed for
a sodger. But if matters were bad enough before he went away, they
became much worse after; for now when the unfortunates came to the door
for alms, instead of letting them stand in pace till they were tired, and
took themselves off, I would mock them and point at them, and twit them
with their sores and other misfortunes, and not unfrequently I would
fling scalding water over them, which would send them howling and honing
away, till at last there was not an unfortunate but feared to come within
a mile of my door. Moreover, I began to misconduct myself at chapel,
more especially at the Aifrionn or Mass, for no sooner was the bell rung,
and the holy corpus raised, than I would shout and hoorah, and go
tumbling and toppling along the floor before the holy body, as I just now
tumbled along the road before you, so that the people were scandalised,
and would take me by the shoulders and turn me out of doors, and began to
talk of ducking me in the bog. The priest of the parish, however, took
my part, saying that I ought not to be persecuted, for that I was not
accountable for what I did, being a possessed person, and under the
influence of divils. ‘These, however,’ said he, ‘I’ll soon cast out from
her, and then the woman will be a holy cratur, much better than she ever
was before.’ A very learned man was Father Hogan, especially in casting
out divils, and a portly good-looking man too, only he had a large
rubicon nose, which people said he got by making over free with the
cratur in sacret. I had often looked at the nose, when the divil was
upon me, and felt an inclination to seize hold of it, jist to see how it
felt. Well, he had me to his house several times, and there he put holy
cloths upon me, and tied holy images to me, and read to me out of holy
books, and sprinkled holy water over me, and put questions to me, and at
last was so plased with the answers I gave him, that he prached a sermon
about me in the chapel, in which he said that he had cast six of my
divils out of me, and should cast out the seventh, which was the last, by
the next Sabbath, and then should present me to the folks in the chapel
as pure a vessel as the blessed Mary herself—and that I was destined to
accomplish great things, and to be a mighty instrument in the hands of
the Holy Church, for that he intended to write a book about me describing
the miracle he had performed in casting the seven divils out of me, which
he should get printed at the printing-press of the blessed Columba, and
should send me through all Ireland to sell the copies, the profits of
which would go towards the support of the holy society for casting out
unclane spirits, to which he himself belonged. Well, the people showed
that they were plased by a loud shout, and went away longing for the next
Sunday when I was to be presented to them without a divil in me. Five
times the next week did I go to the priest’s house, to be read to, and be
sprinkled, and have cloths put upon me, in order that the work of casting
out the last divil, which it seems was stronger than all the rest, might
be made smooth and aisy, and on the Saturday I came to have the last
divil cast out, and found his riverince in full canonicals, seated in his
aisy chair. ‘Daughter,’ said he when he saw me, ‘the work is nearly
over. Now kneel down before me, and I will make the sign of the cross
over your forehead, and then you will feel the last and strongest of the
divils, which have so long possessed ye, go out of ye through your eyes,
as I expect you will say to the people assembled in the chapel
to-morrow.’ So I put myself on my knees before his reverence, who after
muttering something to himself, either in Latin or Shanna Gailey—I
believe it was Latin, said, ‘Look me in the face, daughter!’ Well, I
looked his reverence in the face, and there I saw his nose looking so
large, red, and inviting that I could not resist the temptation, and
before his reverence could make the sign of the cross, which doubtless
would have driven the divil out of me, I made a spring at it, and seizing
hold of it with fore-finger and thumb, pulled hard at it. Hot and
inctious did it feel. O, the yell that his reverence gave! However, I
did not let go my hold, but kept pulling at the nose, till at last to
avoid the torment his reverence came tumbling down upon me, causing me by
his weight to fall back upon the floor. At the yell which he gave, and
at the noise of the fall, in came rushing his reverence’s housekeeper and
stable-boy, who seeing us down on the floor, his reverence upon me and my
hand holding his reverence’s nose, for I felt loth to let it go, they
remained in astonishment and suspense. When his reverence, however,
begged them, for the Virgin’s sake, to separate him from the divil of a
woman, they ran forward, and having with some difficulty freed his
reverence’s nose from my hand, they helped him up. The first thing that
his reverence did, on being placed on his legs, was to make for a
horsewhip, which stood in one corner of the room, but I guessing how he
meant to use it, sprang up from the floor, and before he could make a cut
at me, ran out of the room, and hasted home. The next day, when all the
people for twenty miles round met in the chapel, in the expectation of
seeing me presented to them a purified and holy female, and hearing from
my mouth the account of the miracle which his reverence had performed,
his reverence made his appearance in the pulpit with a dale of
gould-bater’s leaf on his nose, and from the pulpit he told the people
how I had used him, showing them the gould-bater’s leaf on his feature as
testimony of the truth of his words, finishing by saying that if at first
there were seven devils there were now seven times seven within me.
Well, when the people heard the story, and saw his nose with the bater’s
leaf upon it, they at first began to laugh, but when he appealed to their
consciences, and asked them if such was fitting tratement for a praist,
they said it was not, and that if he would only but curse me, they would
soon do him justice upon me. His reverence then cursed by book, bell,
and candle, and the people, setting off from the chapel, came in a crowd
to the house where I lived, to wrake vengeance upon me. Overtaking my
son by the way, who was coming home in a state of intoxication, they bate
him within an inch of his life, and left him senseless on the ground, and
no doubt would have served me much worse, only seeing them coming, and
guessing what they came about, though I was a bit intoxicated myself, I
escaped by the back of the house out into the bog, where I hid myself
amidst a copse of hazels. The people coming to the house, and not
finding me there, broke and destroyed every bit of furniture, and would
have pulled the house down, or set fire to it, had not an individual
among them cried out that doing so would be of no use, for that the house
did not belong to me, and that destroying it would merely be an injury to
the next tenant. So the people, after breaking my furniture and
ill-trating two or three dumb beasts, which happened not to have been
made away with, went away, and in the dead of night I returned to the
house, where I found my son, who had just crawled home covered with blood
and bruises. We hadn’t, however, a home long, for the agents of the
landlord came to seize for rent, took all they could find, and turned us
out upon the wide world. Myself and son wandered together for an hour or
two, then, having a quarrel with each other, we parted, he going one way
and I another. Some little time after I heard that he was transported.
As for myself, I thought I might as well take a leaf out of the woman’s
book, who had been the ruin of me. So I went about bidding people give
me alms for the glory of God, and threatening those who gave me nothing
that the mass should never comfort them. It’s a dreadful curse that,
honey; and I would advise people to avoid it even though they give away
all they have. If you have no comfort in the mass, you will have comfort
in nothing else. Look at me: I have no comfort in the mass, for as soon
as the priest’s bell rings I shouts and hoorahs, and performs tumblings
before the blessed corpus, getting myself kicked out of chapel, and as
little comfort as I have in the mass have I in other things, which should
be a comfort to me. I have two sons who ought to be the greatest comfort
to me, but are they so? We’ll see—one is transported, and of course is
no comfort to me at all. The other is a sodger. Is he a comfort to me?
not a bit. A month ago when I was travelling through the black north,
tumbling and toppling about, and threatening people with my prayer,
unless they gave me alms, a woman, who knew me, told me that he was with
his regiment at Cardiff, here in Wales, whereupon I determined to go and
see him, and crossing the water got into England, from whence I walked to
Cardiff asking alms of the English in the common English way, and of the
Irish, and ye are the first Irish I have met, in the way in which I asked
them of you. But when I got to Cardiff did I see my son? I did not, for
the day before he had sailed with his regiment to a place ten thousand
miles away, so I shall never see his face again nor derive comfort from
him. Oh, if there’s no comfort from the mass there’s no comfort from
anything else, and he who has the evil prayer in the Shanna Gailey
breathed upon him, will have no comfort from the mass. Now, honey, ye
have heard the story of Johanna Colgan, the bedivilled woman. Give her
now a dacent alms and let her go!”
“Would you consider sixpence a decent alms?”
“I would. If you give me sixpence, I will not say my prayer over ye.”
“Would you give me a blessing?”
“I would not. A bedivilled woman has no blessing to give.”
“Surely if you are able to ask people to give you alms for the glory of
God, you are able to give a blessing.”
“Bodderation! are ye going to give me sixpence?”
“No! here’s a shilling for you! Take it and go in peace.”
“There’s no pace for me,” said Johanna Colgan, taking the money. “What
did the monstrous female say to me? Biadh an taifrionn gan sholas duit a
bhean shalach.’ {599} This is my pace—hoorah! hoorah!” then giving two
or three grotesque topples she hurried away in the direction of Merthyr
Tydvil.