We are in a position to state that the efficiency of Germany's new
submersible Zeppelins has been greatly exaggerated.
***
Many schemes for coping with our £2,100,000,000 War indebtedness are
before the authorities, and at least one dear old lady has written
suggesting that they should hold a bazaar.
***
It is stated that the monkey market at Constantinople, which for
hundreds of years has supplied the baboons found in Turkish harems, has
closed down. German competition is said to be responsible for the
incident.
***
The Government's indifference to the balloon type of aircraft has
received a further illustration. They have rejected Highgate's fat
conscript.
***
German scientists are now making explosives out of heather. Fortunately
the secret of making Highlanders out of the same material still remains
in our hands.
***
Deference to one's superiors in rank is all very well up to a point, but
we should never go so far as to allow an article by a titled
war-correspondent to be headed "The Great Offensive at Verdun."
***
British songsters, says a writer in _The Daily Chronicle_, are now being
illegally used to regale the wealthy gourmets of the West End in place
of the foreign varieties, which can no longer be imported. For
ourselves, who are nothing if not British, we are glad of any sign that
native musicians are coming by their own.
***
The practice of interning travellers in Tube and other stations during
the progress of Zeppelin raids on the North-East Coast having become
extremely popular, it is suggested that some much-needed revenue might
be obtained by imposing a small tax--a penny, say, per hour--upon those
who thus enjoy the protection and hospitality of our railways.
***
It is officially announced that Oxford is to have no more Rhodes
Kolossals.
***
Lord ROBERT CECIL admitted in Parliament last week that the contraband
list is to be enlarged, and it is rumoured that, notwithstanding the
serious effect the step may have in the United States and elsewhere, the
list will be extended to include munitions of war.
***
A prominent City barber points out to an _Evening News_ correspondent
that it would be most unfortunate if the high cost of shaves should
result in a discontinuance of the practice of tipping the operator, and
adds that only two of the services have increased in price. He means, of
course, to draw attention to the fact that sporting chatter, dislocation
of the neck, and the removal of superfluous portions of the ears are
still provided free of charge.
* * * * *
Anti-Climax.
From a _feuilleton_ (showing what our serial fictionists have to put up
with):--
"'To-morrow?' repeated Rosalie, dully. 'I'm afraid I can't
to-morrow.'
To-morrow----!
There will be another fine instalment to-morrow."--_Daily
Mirror._
* * * * *