A Lost Hymn
The next morning, when the mother lay still and pale on her bed, Erick
woke up; Marianne, who had watched for his wakening, came to his couch
and said:
"Dear Erick, your mother has gone, last night, to heaven, and now she
feels very happy, and looks down on you and watches to see whether you
stay good and honest so that sometime you may come to her."
First he had answered quite quietly: "Yes, I know, Mother has told me
that it would come so." But when he went to his mother and looked at her
for a long, long time and she did not open her eyes, then he sat down on
a footstool and cried quietly. As long as his mother lay there he could
not be made to leave her, and when she was carried out, then he sat down
in the spot where she always had sat, and did not go away the whole day.
But he was quite still, and although he wept, he did it so quietly that
no sound could be heard.
The day after the officials had been there and Marianne had taken Erick
from the empty room upstairs to her little home, she thought that it
would be best if he were to go to school and again come in contact with
other children, so that he might become happy again and make a little
noise with them; for this quiet weeping seemed sadder to Marianne than
if he had sobbed aloud. So she told him on that morning, that it would
be best for him if he were to go to school. In an instant Erick obeyed,
took out his books, packed them in his bag and started on his way to
school. So it went on from day to day, and gradually it seemed to
Marianne that Erick grew more and more as he used to be; but the sunny,
joyous face which he used to have had not yet returned, and something
like shyness had come to him, which never before had been noticed in
him. It seemed as if a safe, strong wall, which formerly had protected
him, had fallen down, and as though he looked for the first time on
things and people which surrounded him and which were strange to him.
The safe wall had been the great love of his mother, which had encircled
him everywhere.
Two weeks had passed since Erick had again gone to school. When lessons
were over, he had never waited until the scholars of the Middle Lot had
gathered to make a noisy journey home, but he had run away at once and
had walked the long way alone. When he came home, he found his piece of
bread and his cup of milk ready on the table if Marianne was not there
to give it to him. When she was there, she often said: "Go out a little
to play with the children, Erick, it will be good for you and you will
have time afterwards to do your lessons." Erick had always gone out, as
far as the hedge before the house, and had stopped and watched how here
and there the children were running about and playing all kinds of
games; but he had never joined them.
So also today, he stood there and looked with surprised eyes across at
the freshly mown meadow, where a crowd of Middle Lot children were
playing with much noise "Catch me if you can." Big Churi was running
after Kaetheli and as she knew what heavy blows from those big fists
would fall upon her back if she should be caught, she rushed over the
field toward the hedge and into Marianne's little garden, almost
throwing down Erick on her way. At this instant the quick-running Churi
would have caught Kaetheli; but quick as a deer, Erick rushed forth,
opened his arms wide and so stopped Churi until Kaetheli had shot around
the cottage, fleet as an arrow, and again to her goal on the meadow,
where she could get her breath without fear of being caught.
Churi grumbled: "Another time you leave me alone, or--" With this he
shook his fist at Erick and then ran away, for he hoped to catch
Kaetheli before she should reach her goal. When the latter had rested a
little she came running back again, for she indeed had felt Erick's
chivalrous service and she was very grateful to him. She therefore could
not see him standing so alone, but ran up to him and said cheeringly:
"Come and play with us, you must not always stand so alone, that is
lonesome."
"No," said Erick, "I cannot play with you. I do not want to shout so
terribly."
"You need not scream, that does not belong to the game. Come along!"
Saying this, Kaetheli took Erick's hand firmly in hers and pulled him
along.
Erick played with the rest, and now he had begun he played with all his
might. They had stopped the game of "Catch" and were playing a circle
game. The children had formed a large circle and held each other's
hands. In the middle of the circle stood the excluded child. This child
had to strike someone's hand at random and then there was a race around
the circle to see who would first get in the open space inside. This
game was played with the greatest zeal; but suddenly Erick pulled his
hands away from his neighbors' and ran away, so that great confusion
arose.
"We will not let him play any more," cried Churi, much angered.
"Indeed we will," maintained Kaetheli firmly, "perhaps a wasp has stung
him, or perhaps they play the same game where he used to live. When he
returns he can take my hand. Now we will go on."
So it was done, and soon after they were playing again with great glee,
and Erick was forgotten.
Not far from their playground stood a blind man with a barrel-organ
playing his melodies. When Erick had heard the first notes, he had freed
himself and had run away. Now he stood at a little distance from the
organ grinder and listened with strained attention to all the melodies.
When the man left, the boy went quietly toward the cottage, and when
Marianne saw him come, she said to herself: "I had hoped that the
children would make him merry again, and now it seems to me that he is
sadder than he was before."
From that time on Kaetheli looked every evening, when the games began,
to see whether Erick was standing near the hedge, and when she saw him
there she ran to get him. Erick now played every day with the children
and when he was in the spirit of the game, he looked quite happy. But
almost every evening the same thing occurred as on the first. In the
midst of the game Erick stopped, ran away and did not return. Once a
number of wandering journeymen had passed by; they had sung loud and
joyously their wander-songs, one after the other. Away was Erick, and
one could see him far away, quietly following the singing men. Once
trumpet blasts sounded across the meadow to the playing children--for
one of Middle Lot was with the players in the army and was practising
his marches--at once Erick ran away in the direction of the sounds.
Another time a boy with a harmonica had approached the playing children;
it was Erick's turn just then to seek the hiders, but threatenings and
pleadings were of no avail, he did not seek any more. He placed himself
in front of the boy and listened to him; there he remained standing and
did not stir.
Churi in his hiding-place was about to burst with anger because Erick
stopped seeking. He had hoped that Erick would exhaust himself looking
for him, for Churi had climbed up the high pear-tree which stood in the
centre of their playground, and from there he could overlook Erick's
inactivity and his stubborn resistance to being moved. Kaetheli too had
become impatient, for in the farthest corner of the goat-shed, whither
she had crawled, she felt herself secure from being found, and now, all
at once, she discovered that there was no more seeking, and she could
easily guess the cause. With a good deal of trouble she crawled out
again, with many signs of her hiding-place on her dress for she had been
obliged to sit crouched. She ran to Erick, who was still in the same
spot, near the harmonica player.
"I should like to know what is the matter with you," she called out.
"Every evening, just when we have the greatest fun, all at once you run
away like a hare, or you stand there like a statue and let everything go
as it will. But that will not do! Come and seek us. But first I must
hide again."
The tones of the harmonica had just stopped and the boy had gone. Erick
took a deep breath and said: "I cannot play any more. I must go home."
He turned away and went; but that annoyed Kaetheli. She ran after him
and talked angrily at him. "That is not nice of you, Erick; you need not
have done that. You have spoiled the game now four or five times--that
is surely not kind of you, do you think it is?" They had by this time
arrived at Marianne's cottage. Erick stopped at the hedge and turned
round. He said, quite friendly: "Do not be angry, Kaetheli, you see I
have to act so."
"Yes, but why? Tell me now, what you do and why you have to spoil
everything?" demanded Kaetheli, rather huffed, for she could not yet get
over the fact that she had crawled all for nothing into the incomparable
hiding-place in the goat-shed.
"I will tell you, Kaetheli, for you must not think that I purposely
spoil everything for you. I did not think of that," said Erick, excusing
himself. "Do you see, there is a beautiful song which my mother sang
every day, and also on the last day, and I should so much like to hear
that song again. But no one sings it, and I may listen wherever I like,
I hear only other things. Oh, if I could only hear that song again, just
once!"
Now Kaetheli saw how Erick's eyes filled with big tears, and in an
instant her anger turned into pity. "You must not be sad on that
account, for I can help you," she said readily. "I know so many songs;
tell me what the name of yours is, then I will say it to you right
away."
"I try to remember it all the time, but I cannot get the words together;
but I remember well the melody. Do you think you could guess the words,
if I sing the melody?"
"Of course I can, you just sing on," encouraged Kaetheli, with
confidence.
Erick sang a line, and then another, and still a bit, then he could not
go further. Kaetheli, surprised, shook her head. "I never have heard
that song, but perhaps we sing it, only a little differently. I am sure
I shall find it. Tell me what it is about, about people or animals?"
"At the beginning about flowers, green trees, you know, with those
beautiful branches and--"
"Stop, I know all," Kaetheli interrupted him; "now I am going to sing it
to you." And with a firm voice and full tones Kaetheli began seriously:
"'Three roses in the garden,
Three birds are in the wood,
In summer it is lovely
In winter it is good.'
"Is that it?" she now asked, full of confidence that it must be it. But
Erick shook his head decidedly, and said:
"No, no, that is not my song, there is no similarity between it and what
you sing."
Kaetheli was much surprised. "But the flowers and the trees are in the
song," she said, "or perhaps, Erick, you have forgotten the song and do
not know how it goes?"
"Indeed, indeed I know," the latter assured her. "You see, first there
is a great feast, where they all come and throw down many flowers and
wreaths because a great lord is coming and--"
"Perhaps a count," Kaetheli interposed.
"Perhaps so."
"Oh! now I know it! If you only had spoke of the count right away; now
listen!" And again Kaetheli began with full tones:
"'I stood on a high mountain
And looked into a vale,
A little ship came swimming
Three counts did hoist the sail.'
"Well, Erick?"
But Erick shook his head even more and said sadly: "Not at all, not a
bit like it! Perhaps the song is lost and no one knows anything about
it."
"I know something else to help you," said helpful Kaetheli, whose tender
heart was filled with compassion. "To be sure, it is a little late, but
I can still do it."
Then she ran away, and Erick looked after her with great surprise, and
wondered where she was going to look for the song.
Running all the way, Kaetheli had reached the bottom of the hill in a
quarter of an hour. On the garden wall stood Ritz. "Get Sally, Ritz, but
be quick," Kaetheli called up to him. That just suited Ritz, for he
hoped that something particular was in store, and before Kaetheli
reached the wall, Sally was brought out.
Breathlessly Kaetheli told her what she wanted and now expected, since
Sally knew so many songs that she would bring out the desired one on the
spot. But it was not accomplished so quickly and there followed a long
explanation, for Sally must know all that was to be found in the song,
whether it was joyous or sad, and then she began to guess and to try
whether it could be this one or that, but none seemed to fit according
to the descriptions, and suddenly Kaetheli jumped up and exclaimed: "The
evening bells are ringing; I have to go home. I am afraid that father
will be at supper before me and then he'll scold. I thought you would
know it much quicker, Sally, such a simple song! Think it over and bring
it to me at school, but sure, for else Erick will be sad again. Good
night!"
Kaetheli was away like a shot, and Sally went thoughtfully back to the
house. Very soon the sitting-room was lighted up, where mother and aunt
were seated at the table, and now the father also sat down. Edi had long
since waited with his book to see whether the lamp would be lighted in
the room, for his mother had forbidden him to read in the twilight. Ritz
sat down to finish, with many a sigh, a delayed arithmetic lesson. Now
Sally entered the room; under each arm she carried four or five books of
different sizes and makeup. Panting under the heavy load she threw
them on the table.
"Oh, for heaven's sake," cried Auntie, frightened, "now Sally will turn
into a historical searcheress."
"No, no," cried Sally, "only give me a little room, I am obliged to look
for something." She sat down at once behind the heap of books and began
her work in earnest. But she did not remain undisturbed for long, for
the large amount of reading material which she had brought in attracted
the eyes of all, and all at once the father, who had looked at the books
from over his paper, said:
"Sally, I see a book which is little suited for you to read. Where did
you get the Niebelungen song?"
"I was just going to ask," said the mother, "what you intended to do
with A.M. Arndt's war songs?"
Sally had taken along from all tables and book-cases what seemed to her
a collection of songs. These two books she had found in her father's
study and now she explained that she had to find Erick's lost song, and
what Kaetheli had told her about what was in it.
"Aha," said Edi, and giggled a little, "on that account you took that
book from the piano. Erick will be pleased with the words you will get
from this."
He held the book before his sister and pointed with his finger to the
title: "Songs Without Words". Sally was not as thorough in her thinking
as her brother was. She had, in the zeal of her intention, thought that
these were some particular kind of songs, and she now looked with some
confusion at the book in which only black notes were to be found. Ritz,
too, was now roused to interest in the doings. He too had taken up a
book and read rather laboriously: "Battle Sonnets" from--
"What! You have also been to my table, Sally?" the aunt interrupted the
reader. "You children are really terrible! At any rate you ought to have
been in bed long ago; it is high time, pack together."
But this time Sally showed herself unusually obstinate. She assured them
that she could not sleep, not for the whole night, if she had not found
the song. She must bring it to Kaetheli, as she had promised to do so,
and from fear that she should not find the song Sally worked herself
into such a state of excitement that the mother interfered. She
explained to the child that they were not the kind of books where such a
song could be found, and that the descriptions which Kaetheli had given
were much too uncertain to find any song. Sally herself should speak
with Erick about what he still knew of his song, and then they would
search for it together, for she too would gladly help the poor boy to
keep in memory the song his mother had loved.
These words pacified Sally and so she willingly packed together her
books and put each in its place.