One should never be confident beforehand how a matter will turn out;
especially, one should never make free with the devil, for he is apt to
come when he is called, and often appears uninvited. The guests whom
Haeuning advised Pomuchelskopp to invite, were standing before the gate
of Gurlitz waiting for their host and hostess. All the villagers and
Pomuchelskopp's day-laborers stood there together, as the summer
morning began to dawn, before the court-yard gate, to give their master
a reception.
"Children," said Ruhrdanz, "what must be, must, but do everything with
regularity!"
"Out with your regularity!" cried Willgans. "Has he treated us with
regularity?"
"No matter," said Ruhrdanz, "we cannot get our rights out of hand. That
is where you are mistaken. When we go to the grand-duke about it
afterwards, and that is no more than proper, and he asks, 'Willgans,
what did you do?' and you tell him, 'Why, Herr, we first gave the old
man and his wife a good beating, and then we took them over the
boundary,' how will that sound? What will the man say to that?"
"Yes," said old Brinkmann, "Ruhrdanz is right? If we take him over the
boundary then we are rid of him, and there is no need of our doing
anything more."
This was finally resolved upon. Behind the men stood the women and
children, and the great, strong woman of yesterday morning was there
also, and she said, "Now we have things, so far, as we want them. If
you don't do it though, and get rid of the fellow and his wife, I will
beat my man till he cries for mercy."
"Yes, gossip," said another woman, "we must, _we must!_ I went to the
pastor's yesterday,--well, the Frau Pastorin gave me something, and he
preached patience. What? Patience? Has hunger patience?"
"Johann Schmidt," said a tall, slender girl, "just run up the hill, and
see if they are coming. Fika, how will our two mamsells look, when they
are sent packing?"
"Shall we tell the pastor about the matter?" inquired the day-laborer
Zorndt of Brinkmann. "It might be well that he should know about it."
"I don't think there is any use in it, Zorndt, he knows nothing about
business. If the old pastor were only alive!"
"They are coming!" cried Johann Schmidt, running back.
"Come, who is to speak?" said Willgans, "I will hold the horses."
"Eh, Ruhrdanz," went from mouth to mouth.
"Well, if you are contented, why should not I speak?" said Ruhrdanz.
Then all was quiet.
The coachman, Johann Jochen, drove up, and was going to turn in at the
gate; then Willgans seized the two leaders by the heads, and turned
them aside a little, saying, "Johann Jochen, stop here for a moment."
Pomuchelskopp looked out of the carriage, and saw the whole village
assembled: "What does this mean?"
Ruhrdanz, and the rest of the company, stood at the door of the
carriage, and he said, "Herr, we have made up our minds that we will
not consider you our master any longer, for you have not treated us as
a master ought, and no more have you other people before us, for you
wear a ring around your neck, and we cannot suffer a master with a ring
around his neck."
"You robbers! You rascals!" cried Pomuchelskopp, as he became aware of
the meaning of this performance. "What do you want? Will you lay hands
on me and mine?"
"No, we will not do that," said old Brinkmann, "we will only take you
over the boundary."
"Johann Jochen!" cried Pomuchelskopp, "drive on! Cut them with your
whip!"
"Johann Jochen," said Willgans, "so sure as you touch the whip, I will
knock you off the horse. Turn about! So! to the right!" and carriage
and horses were headed towards Rahnstadt. Salchen and Malchen were
screeching at the top of their voices, Gustaving had sprung down from
the box, and placed himself between his father and the laborers, to
keep them off; all was in confusion, only our brave old Haeuning sat
stiff and stark, and said not a word.
"What do you want of me? You pack of robbers!" exclaimed Pomuchelskopp.
"We are not that," cried Schmidt, "we would not take a pin-head from
you, and Gustaving can stay here and manage, and tell us what to do."
"But the wife, and the two girls, we cannot stand any longer," said
Kapphingst, "they must go too."
"Hush, children!" said Ruhrdanz, "everything with regularity. Merely to
take them over the boundary amounts to nothing; we must give them up to
our magistrate, the Rahnstadt burgomeister. That is the right thing to
do."
"Ruhrdanz is right," said the others, "and Gustaving, you go quietly
home, nobody will hurt you. And you, Johann Jochen, just drive at a
steady pace," and they placed themselves, some on one side, some on the
other, and the procession started, at a regular parade step.
Pomuchelskopp had resigned himself, but he was not resigned to his
destiny; he sat wringing his hands and lamenting to himself: "Oh, Lord!
Oh, Lord! what will become of me? what will they do?" and then, putting
his head out of the door, "Good people, I have always been a kind
master to you."
"You have been a regular skinner!" cried a voice from the crowd.
Salchen and Malchen wept, Haeuning sat there, stiff as a thermometer
tube, but if the day-laborers had understood that sort of thermometer,
they would have seen that the mercury was far above boiling point, and
Willgans, who was close by the door, would have been more careful, for
suddenly, without saying a word, she made a grab at him, and got fast
hold of his curly, chestnut hair, and pulled it to her heart's content,
and her eyes gleamed and sparkled out of the dusky carriage, as if she
had been transformed into an owl, and had taken him for a young hare.
"Thunder and lightning! Look at the carrion!" cried Willgans. "Strike
at her, Duesing! See the devil! Strike her on the knuckles! ye, ya! ye,
ya!"
Before Duesing could rescue him, Haeuning banged his nose, a couple of
times, against the door-handle, and the blood ran in streams.
"Thunder and lightning! I say! Such deviltry is not to be put up with!
Hold on, I will----"
"Hold!" cried Ruhrdanz, "you must not blame her for that, it is only
her natural wickedness; you must let it go for this time; but you can
tell the grand-duke about it and show him your nose, if you like, that
he may see how they have treated you."
Haeuning said nothing, and the procession moved on; at the boundary the
laborers sent home their wives and children, who had followed so far,
behind the carriage, and about seven o'clock they marched, slowly and
solemnly, into Rahnstadt.
Uncle Braesig lay by the window, smoking his pipe, and thinking over his
heroic deeds of the previous evening. Kurz, although he had not
attended the fraternity ball, was fearfully cross, and went scolding
about his shop: "The stupid dunce! the harlequin! Only wait! Only come
home!" and, although he intended to be in such different circumstances
afterwards, he must at length come home, that is to say, Herr Suessmann.
Herr Suessmann danced over the threshold. Kurz braced his two hands
against the counter, and looked at him, as if he would spring over the
counter in his wrath, and meet Herr Suessmann in the hall; he let him,
however, come into the shop first.
"Morning, principal, principaelchen, principaelchen!" cried Herr
Suessmann, staggering about the shop, and finally seating himself on the
rim of a herring cask, with his hat cocked on one side: "Morning,
Kurzchen, Schurzchen, Wurzchen----" but he had not time to finish his
variations, Kurz had his hands in his hair, knocked off his hat into
the herring-cask, and began dragging him about the shop by his
ambrosial locks. Herr Suessmann groped blindly about him for something
to lay hold of, and caught at the stop-cock of the oil-cask; the cock
came out, and the oil poured out in a stream.
"Good heavens!" cried Kurz, "my oil! my oil!" and he let go of Herr
Suessmann, and stuck his right fore-finger into the hole. Herr Suessmann
held up the cock in triumph, and, as it often happens that crazy or
intoxicated people do uncommonly clever things, the bright idea
occurred to Herr Suessmann that he would do his work thoroughly. So he
pulled out the cock from the vinegar barrel.
"Oh, good gracious! my vinegar!" cried Kurz, and he stuck his left
fore-finger into the vinegar barrel. And as he was now fairly caught,
and stooping over, the opportunity was too tempting for Herr Suessmann
to neglect. "Principaelchen! Kurzchen!"--whack! "Leben sie wohl, Tuten
dreherchen!"--whack, whack! "Johannageht, und nimmer kehrt sie
wieder!"--whack, whack, whack! Then he fished his hat out of the
herring-cask, put it on, as much askew as possible, laid the two cocks
on the counter, about twenty feet from Kurz, and danced, laughing, out
of the door.
"Help!" screamed Kurz, "help! he-l-p!" But his people were not in the
house, and his good old advocate was in the back garden, cutting
asparagus, and the only one who heard him was Uncle Braesig. "Karl,"
said he, "it seems to me, as if Kurz were yelling. I will go over, and
see if anything has happened."
"He-l-p!" cried Kurz.
"Preserve us!" said Braesig, "what an uproar you are making here, at
seven o'clock in the morning!"
"Infamous rascal!"
"How? Is that the way you greet me?"
"Good-for-nothing scamp!"
"You are a rude fellow!"
"Give me those cocks, that lie on the counter!"
"Get your dirty cocks yourself, you donkey, you!"
"I cannot, the oil and the vinegar will run out, and I don't mean you,
I mean Suessmann."
"That is another thing," said Braesig, perching himself on the counter,
and swinging his legs, "what is the matter with you?"
Kurz related how he had got into this situation.
"You strike me very comically, Kurz, but let this be a warning to you;
a man is always punished in the members in which he has sinned."
"I beg you----"
"Quiet, Kurz! You have always sinned in oil and vinegar, since you have
emptied the quart measure with a jerk, so that often two or three
spoonfuls would be left in it. Will you always give right measure
hereafter? Will you never look at the cards again, when we are playing
Boston?"
"Good heavens! yes, yes!"
"Well, then, I will release you," and with that he brought the cocks.
Hardly was Kurz free when he darted out of the door, as if he expected
to find Herr Suessmann waiting for him outside. Braesig followed, and
they came out just as Pomuchelskopp and his escort were passing.
"Preserve us! What is this? Ruhrdanz, what does this mean?"
"Don't take it ill, Herr Inspector, we have turned out our Herr."
Braesig shook his head: "You have done a very foolish thing!" and he
fell into the procession, and many people who were in the street
followed to the burgomeister's house. Here the laborers took out the
horses, and Ruhrdanz and Willgans and Brinkmann, and several others
went in to see the burgomeister.
"Well, Herr," said Ruhrdanz, "we have got him here."
"Whom?"
"Eh, our Herr Pomuchelskopp."
"What? What is that?"
"Oh, nothing, only that we won't have him for our Herr any longer."
"Good heavens, people, what have you done."
"Nothing but what is right, Herr Burgomeister."
"Have you laid hands on your master?"
"Not a finger; but the old woman there, she laid hands on Willgans, for
she----"
But the burgomeister had gone out of the room, and stood by the
carriage, and begged the company to get out; they did so, and he
brought the family into his living room.
"Oh, what will become of us! what will become of us!" moaned Pomuchel.
"Herr Burgomeister, you know, I have always been a good master to my
people."
"Kopp, for shame!" interposed Haeuning.
"No," said the burgomeister, paying no attention to Haeuning, and
looking the Herr Proprietor firmly in the eye, "you have not been a
good master. You know I have often remonstrated with you, on this
account, and you know that, because of your behavior to your people, I
have declined to act as your magistrate. I have nothing to do with the
business, and if I were to concern myself in it, merely as a private
citizen, I should not take your side, but that of your poor, oppressed
people. You must excuse me, therefore----"
"But you can at least give me your advice," begged Pomuchelskopp. "What
shall I do?"
"You cannot go back to Gurlitz, at least not at present, it might give
occasion for violent deeds; you must wait the result, here. But wait a
moment; I will speak to the people again."
Well, what good could that do? The people were firmly resolved in the
matter; the bad fellows among them had yielded to the decision of the
older, more peaceable laborers and villagers, and now they were all so
fully persuaded that they were in the right, that they were not to be
moved from their purpose.
"No, Herr," said Ruhrdanz, "we will never take him back; that is
settled."
"You are guilty of a great offence, and it may go hard with you."
"Yes, that may be; but if you talk of offences, Herr Pomuchelskopp has
been guilty of worse offences against us."
"Those foolish people at the Reformverein, have filled your heads with
their silly ideas."
"Don't take it ill, Herr Burgomeister; that is what everybody says, but
it isn't true. What? Our Herr Pomuchelskopp belongs to the
Reformverein, and has made a speech there; but, Herr, he told nothing
but lies, and we know better."
"Well, what do you intend to do?"
"Herr Gustaving is there, and when he tells us to do this or that, we
shall do it; but Willgans and I will go to the grand-duke, and give him
an account of the matter, and that is what I wanted to ask you, if you
would give us some papers to take with us."
"What do you want with papers?"
"Well, Herr Burgomeister, don't take it ill, there is no harm in it.
You see, I went to the old railroad, without any papers, and they
turned me out, of course; but the grand-duke is no railroad, and he
would not act so inconsiderately, and if we have no papers to show you
can show your nose, Willgans, how the old woman has treated you, and I
will show my honest hands, which have never been in any unjust
business."
Upon that, the old man went out, and the laborers crowded around him,
and felt in their pockets, and produced the few shillings and groschens
they had by them: "There, now go! The shortest road to Schwerin!" and
"Neighbor, don't forget Kapphingst's girl!" and "Neighbor, if he asks
what we have lived on, you may say honestly we have stolen nothing from
our master; but we have helped ourselves to a few of Frau Nuessler's
potatoes, because she never minded it."
The two set out for Schwerin, the other day-laborers went home; Johann
Jochen drove the empty carriage behind them; the people, who had
assembled in quite a crowd before the burgomeister's door,--for the
business had spread through the town like wildfire,--dispersed to their
homes, and Uncle Braesig said to Habermann, "Karl, he is getting his
deserts. I went in a moment, not on his account, but for those poor
fellows, the laborers; but when he came in, I went away, for I didn't
want to see him in his disgrace."
Pomuchelskopp had gone to Grammelin's, with his dear family, and he sat
now, in misery and distress, by the bedside of the Herr Notary; for
Slusuhr had gone directly to bed, after his beating, in order that the
business might appear to be very serious.
"I have sent for the doctor, and shall have myself examined, so that I
can catch the inspector nicely. Strump is not at home, but the other
one will be here directly."
"Ah, how fortunate you are!" said Pomuchel.
"I should not have supposed," said the Herr Notary, turning on his
other side, "that it was a particular piece of good fortune to get a
jacket full of blows from a buckthorn staff, as thick as your thumb."
"You can avenge yourself, but I,--poor man that I am,--what can I do?"
"You can get a detachment of soldiers, and then you can punish the
rascals, within an inch of their lives, and if you are too much of a
milksop to do it yourself, employ your wife, she will do it finely."
"God bless you! no! no! I have enough on my hands! I can do nothing
about Pumpelhagen yet, and I dare not go back to Gurlitz, they will
tear my house down over my head. No, no! I shall sell, I shall sell!"
"Shall I tell you some news?" said David, who came into the room, in
time to hear the last words, "you are right, sell; I will look out for
you, I know----"
"Infamous Jew rascal!" said Slusuhr, shifting his position again,--"aw!
thunder!--do you think we cannot manage that for ourselves? Yes, Herr
Pomuchelskopp, I would sell, for if they don't tear your house down
they might get at the barns, and the potato middens."
"Well, Herr Notary, what will you do?" asked David. "You have some
money; you might manage a farm-house, or a mill, but for an estate like
that? You must come to my father."
"Your father? When he hears that it is for Pomuchelskopp, he will say:
'Cash down!' We three are not in very high credit with him."
"If I tell him----" began David, but just then the doctor came in, the
father of the little assessor.
"Good morning! You sent for me?" turning to Slusuhr, "you wanted to see
me?"
"Ah, Herr Doctor, you were at the ball last night. Oh, my bruises! You
must surely have heard----"
"He got a beating," said David, "I am a witness he was dreadfully
abused."
"Will you hold your cursed tongue?" cried Slusuhr. "Herr Doctor, I wish
you would examine me medically; I fear I shall never recover the use of
my limbs."
Without more words, the doctor went up to the patient, and removed the
shirt from his shoulders, and there was much to be read there which is
not usually seen on a pair of shoulders, and the inscription was
written in red ink, in the largest capitals. Pomuchelskopp sat there,
with folded hands, in the deepest melancholy, but when he saw the
inscription on the notary's back, a very comfortable expression dawned
in his face, and David sprung up, exclaiming, "Good heavens! How he
looks! Herr Doctor, I will let you examine me too; carpenter Schultz
dragged me out from under the table, and tore my new dress-coat."
"Send for the tailor!" said the doctor quietly, and turning to the
notary: "I will leave a certificate for you, with Grammelin. Good
morning, gentlemen!"
Then he went down-stairs, and after a little while, Grammelin's
waiting-maid brought up the paper, which the doctor had left for the
Herr Notary. Slusuhr opened it, and read:
"As in duty bound, I hereby testify that the Herr Notary Slusuhr has
received a good, sound flogging, as is clearly evident from the
suggillations upon his back. It has done him no harm, however. So and
So, Dr. Med."
"Has the fellow the insolence to say that?" screamed Slusuhr. "It has
done him no harm? Well, just wait, we will talk about that, by and by."
"Good heavens!" cried David, "isn't it better that it has done you no
harm, than if had hurt you?"
"You are an idiot! But what am I lying here for?" said Slusuhr. "You
will excuse me, I must go out, I must thank the Herr Inspector for his
flogging--with a little writ."
"Don't forget me, my dear friend," said Pomuchel. "You must write for
me to Pumpelhagen to-day."
"Rely upon me. I feel spiteful enough, to-day, to get out writs against
the whole world. Haven't you something to write, David?"
"If I have anything to write, I can write it, if I have nothing to
write, I shall write nothing," said David, and he went out with
Pomuchelskopp.