"And God saw everything that He had made, and, behold, it was
very good." These words of Holy Scripture immediately following
the statement: "And God created man in His image, male and female
created He them," contain the divine verdict regarding the social
relation that we call matrimony or marriage. Declared the all-wise
God: "It was very good."
That, however, was in the holy and happy days of Paradise, in
the midst of righteousness, purity, and bliss. Sin entered, and
things changed; the image of the divine Maker was forfeited, that
purity effaced, over that bliss was written in indelible letters:
"Paradise Lost." What, then, became of the marriage relation? Was
it, too, dissolved, forfeited, lost? Wonderful Providence! From
that universal wreck,--of the few things which God permitted man to
carry with him, remains, to insure him happiness and welfare in the
midst of a world otherwise steeped in misery and tears, the marriage
estate. It was not lost.
The Gospel-lesson of to-day presents the Savior as being present
at a marriage feast, and records that on that occasion He changed
water into wine and manifested forth His glory. By His presence and
by that miracle He also manifested forth, endorsed, sanctioned,
and placed His divine approbation upon matrimony, as He once did
amid the scenes of Eden's creation and loveliness. Nothing could
be more significant than that, when the God-man came to found His
kingdom upon earth, and entered upon His Messianic work, His first
work should have been wrought in honor of the wedding tie. And so
God's Word speaks of marriage throughout. When the Apostle desires
a comparison to set forth the holy and pure relation between Christ
and His Church, he knows none more sublime and noble than the union
that exists between man and woman in wedlock, for which reason the
Church is called Christ's bride--Christ is called her Bridegroom.
To raise one's tongue or pen in impiety or censure against marriage
is to raise them against heaven and Christ. To set up in its place
the teaching and practice of celibacy, by which men and women are
divested, in the name of religion, from the ties and duties of
family; to turn away, or in any manner to advocate what may break
down the proper relation between the sexes, is casting reproach upon
God's institution, and a perversion of true religion, as it is of
nature's laws. To speak depreciatingly, disparagingly of marriage,
to arch the brow, to puck the lips up in a smile, when it is called
"holy" matrimony, and in any way to entertain light and derogatory
views concerning it and family life, is to get oneself into conflict
with, and to invite the ill favor of, Him who has thrown a sacred
hedge around the institution, when on Sinai's mountain, in His Ten
Commandments, He commanded how we should regard this estate.
"Marriage," says the Apostle in our text, "is honorable in all."
There is nothing concerning it that is unworthy, unholy, hindersome
to piety and salvation. The Son of God would not have graced with
His presence and miracle those Galilean nuptials if it had not been
holy throughout. Concerning the honorableness of that estate would I
speak at this time a few words of plainness and truth. May He who is
called the God of families bless them to our instruction!
Among the views concerning matrimony, there is also this one, taught
by men sitting in professors' chairs and senselessly repeated by
the ungodly multitude, that, as man has evolved from a lower to a
higher form of existence, so morality and also matrimony have only
gradually, in the course of many centuries, yes, thousands of
years, evolved to what it now is. Originally man knew as little of
matrimony as the beasts of the field. Little by little, pride and
self-interest induced especially strong men to take unto themselves,
and keep with themselves, one or a few of the other sex, and so it
eventually grew into a custom and rule that one man and one woman
should form a union for life, and in evidence of that they will even
point to the Bible, the instance of Abraham, who beside his wife,
Sarah, had her maid, Hagar, and Jacob had two, really four wives,
and David, Solomon, in fact, all the Jews among the Old Testament
kings practiced polygamy,--it was only with the introduction of
Christianity that monogamy, the union of one man and one woman, and
the indissolubleness of the marriage-tie, became general rule. What
folly of folly, contrary to all sacred and secular story!
Without entering too explicitly upon this subject, do we not read
in the chapters of Genesis that when Pharaoh of Egypt had cast his
eyes upon Sarah, thinking she was Abraham's sister, that after he
had been rightly informed, he at once desisted from his advances and
made explanation? And did not Abimelech, when about to fall into
a like error, offer apology and make restitution? Is it not plain
from these cases that they well knew that the marriage relation was
not to be broken, that one man was not to take another man's wife?
Moreover, it never occurred to Abraham, or any of the patriarchs,
to put away from themselves their wives, for any reasons, and these
men lived nearly two thousand years before Christ. How absurd the
contention that men originally lived without a knowledge of the
sanctity of marriage! Turning to secular history, we have record
of the same. Rome, for instance, was founded in the eighth century
before Christ. Its first citizens were robbers, and such as had
been banished for gross offenses from other cities of Italy. But
concerning the marriage relation--they did not live as brutes.
Every physically able inhabitant was legally required to wed, and
for several centuries not a solitary case of divorce occurred.
Such a thing was regarded simply impossible. It was not until late
centuries, when effeminacy had taken hold upon the city, that we
hear of those social abominations. The same may be said of our
heathen forefathers, the German and Teutonic tribes; marriage, with
them, was held in highest respect.
This, then, is the true view according to Bible and history. God
instituted marriage at creation, and God ordained that it should
be a union between one man and one woman, and that this union is
indissoluble and inseparable. As everything else, however, suffered
by the fall of man into sin, so also this divine regulation. The
corruption at the time of the flood was such that God destroyed the
world on that very account. "They took them wives of all that they
chose," is the sacred account. It is with regret that we read of
men like Abraham, Jacob, David, who were not found strong enough
to resist the common corruption, but were deplorably drawn into
looseness of the marriage ties.
How was it at the time of the Savior? The teaching of the synagogue
was, that "whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a
writing of divorcement." When it entered a man's mind to get rid
of his wife, all he needed to do was to write upon a piece of
parchment: "I divorce myself from my wife," have it signed by two
or three witnesses, and the wife had to go; or if it occurred to
a woman to sever herself from her husband, she demanded a writing
of divorcement from him, and if he refused, life became miserable,
or she would simply run away, as Herodias did from her husband,
Philip, and married her husband's brother, Herod Antipas. And these
occurrences were not done with blushing reserve, those guilty of it
boasted of it. Beloved, are we not rapidly falling upon such times?
The miserable revelations that come from our courts are veritable
cesspools reeking with stench and bestial filth. As one eminent
jurist has expressed it: "Broken marriages are as common as broken
window-panes." Divorce, what is it practically, in effect, but
enabling men and women to live in successive polygamy? Now, over
against this and all like influences and evils that would break
down the honor of marriage, our Lord clearly and emphatically
laid down God's Law. Here it is: "They are no more twain, but one
flesh." "What, therefore, God has joined together, let not man put
asunder," and again, "Whosoever shall put away his wife and marry
another, committeth adultery, and whosoever marrieth her that is
put away committeth adultery." These words are as clear as language
can be. Only one exception does Christ give to the rule, Matt. 5,
32: "Whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of
fornication." Fornication means unfaithfulness to each other in
the marriage relation. Illicit intercourse with another person,
that is given as the exception, as a just cause for severance. As
for other causes, the Bible recognizes not one. And even in cases
of fornication it does not _demand_ a divorce. That, then, is the
position of the Scripture and of our church. This is the practice of
her clergy.
Again, another particular that tends to the honorableness of the
marriage state, as pointed out in the text, is the high purpose
which it is intended to serve according to the will of God. The
family life is the foundation of human society. Married life,
without seeking to fulfill its first purpose, the perpetuating of
the human race and the bringing up of one's offspring in the proper
manner, is to undermine, frustrate, that foundation of the state.
This leads me to refer to an evil which I hardly know how to speak
of, which should be named in the blackest of evils,--I mean the
willful intention and resolve to defeat the first of those purposes
for which matrimony was instituted by God. It comes looming up
on the view of this generation as a great, a growing, an almost
national crime. The foundation of a home is the first thing intended
in matrimony. But some deliberately resolve that there shall be
no home, or at least that it shall be as narrow, as limited, as
possible. Be it to avoid pain, be it to shrink the duty of the
parent, be it to remain free to enjoy the world,--arts base and
black, devices which in the Old Testament were punished by death,
are used to carry out these ungodly and absurd resolves; ungodly,
because it would not be possible more grossly to outrage God's law
than in this way; absurd, because a marriage contracted with that
understanding and intention is a contradiction, a misnomer, a fraud
on society and on the Church. And so I say, as God's minister and
in His name, as we who must speak fearlessly, that this act of
deliberately preventing the formation of a home is a crime, and
one which brings down curses from a God of justice, who knows and
who rewards according to our deeds. "Marriage," be it noted, "is
honorable in all"; it is a holy and pure estate, and holiness must
prevail therein.
And now let us regard the other part of our discourse: If marriage
is a holy estate, then it must be entered honorably and must be
continued honorably.
Marriage ought to be entered honorably. There is something appalling
in the thoughtlessness, the irresponsibility with which young people
will contract marriage; there seems to be often no apparent sense
of the gravity of the act, no reflection upon what is involved. A
pleasant face, captivating demeanor, money, or position are not
infrequently the flimsy threads that tie the conjugal knot.
But how can any one who is a Christian enter upon that relation
which, more than any other, affects the whole life, without
consulting and seeking the blessing of the divine Author? Yet it
is done, and alas! done only too often by those who ought to know
better. Some contract acquaintanceship, keep company, and have an
interchange of hearts, and never think of their God and Savior in
connection with it. Religion, in fact, seems unwelcome and out of
place to many at such a time, whilst one heart-felt prayer to Him
in connection with such an acquaintance would in thousands of cases
have prevented anguish of souls from which there is no refuge but
the grave.
In other words, whether you will be happy or unhappy in the marriage
life depends largely upon the companion of your choice. Therefore,
when choosing a life's companion, ask God for His counsel to give
you the spouse of His choice; and when you marry, marry honorably.
The contracting parties in to-day's Gospel-lesson were not a runaway
couple, or Jesus would not have honored their wedding feast with
His presence. Nor did they marry from sheer necessity to hide the
results of sin. Their relatives and friends, and, if still living,
their parents were there; they had asked for and received the honest
and unqualified consent of the latter. It is not an idle service
or the mere acknowledgment of a civil contract, but a proper and
significant Christian act to have marriage solemnized by a religious
ceremony, conducted by a minister of the church, and blessed in the
name of the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.
No Christian man or woman should ever think of contracting a
marriage alliance at which a servant of God is not present to invoke
the Savior's blessing. Marriage should be entered into reverently,
discreetly, and in the fear of God. Nor can I in this connection
refrain from calling attention to the good old church custom called
in English "publishing the banns," the persons asking for the prayer
of a Christian congregation upon their union. Thus, in the ways
indicated, does a Christian enter upon marriage "honorably."
And having entered upon it thus, it ought to be so continued. There
is one thing that married couples ought ever to remember, this: that
they are both sinners. If they bear that in mind, they will not
look for imaginary perfections in their life's partner, and will,
conscious of their own shortcomings, bear with the shortcomings of
the other. And where there is this conviction that both are sinners,
they will find their balance in the Savior of sinners. It is well
enough to bring into married life an amiable disposition, the happy
faculty of controlling one's temper, but, believe me, the best
thing to bring along, the most effective safeguard against discord
and estrangement, is the fear of the Lord, the mutual respect for
God's law and authority. Temporary differences, quarrels even, may
arise in that home, but cannot remain. The husband has been hard
and unkind, but will be prompt to make amends. If the wife has been
contrary, quarrelsome, or has in other ways angered her husband, the
love of Christ will not let her rest, but to acknowledge and seek
reconciliation. There is nothing like genuine religion to regulate
the household, to take off the frictions of daily life, to educate
us in self-denial, in bearing and forbearing with one another.
Let us, then, keep before us the dignity of the estate, and conduct
ourselves honorably therein, until God shall summon us from this
earthly relation to the marriage feast of the Lamb on high. Amen.