Part VII. THE CHANGE OF LIFE.

DISEASES AND HYGIENE OF 389-404

What it is--Age when it comes--Signs and symptoms--Effects on the

character--Those who suffer most--Diseases and discomforts

attending--Precautions and remedies.

NOTES 405-420

INDEX 420-426

THE PHYSICAL LIFE OF WOMAN.

_KNOWLEDGE IS SAFETY._

'Knowledge is power,' said the philosopher. The maxim is true; but here

is a greater truth: 'Knowledge is safety,'--safety amid the physical

ills that beset us,--safety amid the moral pitfalls that environ us.

Filled with this thought, we write this book. It is the Revelation of

Science to Woman. It tells her, in language which aims at nothing but

simplicity, the results which the study of her nature, as distinct from

that of man, has attained. We may call it her physical biography.

It is high time that such a book were written. The most absorbing

question of the day is the 'Woman Question.' The social problems of

chiefest interest concern her. And nowhere are those problems more

zealously studied than in America, which has thrown aside the trammels

of tradition, and is training its free muscles with intent to grapple

the untried possibilities of social life. Who can guide us in these

experiments? What master, speaking as one having authority, can advise

us? There is such a guide, such a master. The laws of woman's physical

life shape her destiny and reveal her future. Within these laws all

things are possible; beyond them, nothing is of avail.

Especially should woman herself understand her own nature. How many

women are there, with health, beauty, merriment, ay, morality too, all

gone, lost for ever, through ignorance of themselves! What spurious

delicacy is this which would hide from woman that which beyond all else

it behooves her to know? We repudiate it; and in plain, but decorous

language,--truth is always decorous,--we purpose to divulge those

secrets hidden hitherto under the technical jargon of science.

THE DISTINCTION OF THE SEXES.

The distinction of the sexes belongs neither to the highest nor to the

lowest forms of existence. Animals and vegetables of the humblest

character have no sex. So it is with spirits. Revelation implies that

beyond this life sexual characteristics cease. On one occasion the

Sadducees put this question to Christ: There was a woman who lawfully

had seven husbands, one after the other; now, at the resurrection, which

of these shall be her husband? or shall they all have her to wife? He

replied that hereafter there shall be neither marrying nor giving in

marriage, but that all shall be 'as the angels which are in heaven.'

Sexuality implies reproduction, and that is something we do not

associate with spiritual life.

It further implies imperfection, which is equally far from our hopes of

happiness beyond the grave. The polyp, which reproduces by a division of

itself, is in one sense more complete than we are. The man is in some

respects inferior to the woman; the woman in others is subordinate to

man. A happy marriage, a perfect union, they twain one flesh, is the

type of the independent, completed being. Without the other, either is

defective. 'Marriage,' said Napoléon, 'is strictly indispensable to

happiness.'

There is, in fact, a less difference between the sexes than is generally

believed. They are but slight variations from one original plan.

Anatomists maintain, with plausible arguments, that there is no part or

organ in the one sex but has an analogous part or organ in the other,

similar in structure, similar in position. Just as the right side

resembles the left, so does man resemble woman.

Let us see what differences there really are:

The frame of woman is shorter and slighter. In the United States the men

average five feet eight inches in height, and one hundred and forty-five

pounds in weight; the women, five feet two and a half inches in height,

and one hundred and twenty-five pounds in weight. Man has broad

shoulders and narrow hips; woman has narrow shoulders and broad hips.

Her skull is formed of thinner bones, and is in shape more like that of

a child. Its capacity, in proportion to her height, is very little less

than in man,--about one-fiftieth, it is said,--which, so far as

brain-power is concerned, may readily be made up by its finer texture.

Her shoulders are set farther back than in the other sex, giving her

greater breadth of chest in front. This is brought about by the

increased length of her collar-bone; and this is the reason why she can

never throw a ball or stone with the accuracy of a man. Graceful in

other exercises, here she is awkward.

Her contour is more rounded, her neck is longer, her skin smoother, her

voice softer, her hair less generally distributed over the body, but

stronger in growth than in man. She breathes with the muscles of her

chest--he with those of his abdomen. He has greater muscular force--she

more power of endurance. Beyond all else she has the attributes of

maternity,--she is provided with organs to nourish and protect the child

before and after birth.

PERSONS OF BOTH SEXES AND OF NEITHER SEX.

Nature is very sedulous in maintaining these differences. It is the

rarest thing in the world to find a human being of doubtful sex. Many a

physician disbelieves that there ever has been a person of both sexes--a

true hermaphrodite. They are very scarce, but they do exist. There is

one now living in Germany. It bears a female name, Catherine Hohmann.

She was baptised and brought up a female; but Catherine is as much man

as woman. The learned professor of anatomy, Rokitansky, of Vienna,

asserts most positively that this is a real hermaphrodite. Her history

is sad. Born in humble circumstances, when of marriageable age she loved

a man, who wished her to emigrate with him to America. But when she

disclosed to him her deformity, he broke off the engagement and deserted

her. Then her affection became fixed on a young girl; but how could she

make her suit to one apparently of her own sex? With passions that

prompt her to seek both sexes, she belongs to neither. 'What shall I do

here on earth?' she exclaimed, in tears, to a man of science who

recently visited her. 'What am I? In my life an object of scientific

experiment, and after my death an anatomical curiosity.'

There are also persons--very few indeed--who have no sex at all. They

are without organs and without passions. Such creatures seem to have

been formed merely to show us that this much-talked-of difference of sex

is, after all, nothing inherent in the constitution of things, and that

individuals may be born, live and thrive, of both sexes, or of neither.

THE SPHERE OF WOMAN.

Our province lies within the physical sphere of woman. But we will here

allow ourselves a momentary digression. It will be seen that while these

differences are not radical, yet they are peculiarly permanent. They

hint to us the mental and intellectual character of woman. What opinion

should we hold on this much-vexed question?

To this effect: The mental faculties of man and woman are unlike, but

not unequal. Any argument to the contrary, drawn from the somewhat less

weight of the brain of woman, is met by the fact that the most able men

are often undersized, with small heads. The subordinate place which

woman occupies in most states, arises partly from the fact that the part

she plays in reproduction prevents her from devoting her whole time and

energies to the acquisition of power, and partly from the fact that

those faculties in which she is superior to man have been obscured and

oppressed by the animal vigor and selfishness of the male. As

civilisation advances, the natural rights of woman will be more and more

freely conceded, until the sexes become absolutely equal before the law;

and, finally, her superiority in many respects will be granted, and she

will reap the benefits of all the advantages it brings, without desiring

to encroach on those avocations for which masculine energy and strength

are imperatively needed.

The most peculiar features of woman's life are hers for a limited period

only. Man is man for a longer time than woman is woman. With him it is a

lifetime matter; with her it is but for a score of years or so. Her

child-bearing period is less than half her life. Within this time she

passes through all the phases of that experience which is peculiarly her

own.

And these phases, what are they? Nature herself defines them. They are

three in number,--the Maiden, the Wife, and the Mother. In one and then

another of this triad, her life passes. Each has its own duties and

dangers; each demands its own precautions; each must be studied by

itself.

Let us at once commence this important study, and proceed in the order

of time.

THE MAIDEN.

_PUBERTY._

At a certain period in the life of the female, she ceases to be a girl,

and becomes a _woman_. Hitherto she has felt no distinction between

herself and the boys, her playmates. But now a crisis takes place, which

is for ever after to hedge her round with a mysterious, invisible, but

most real barrier from all _man_kind.

This period is called _the age of puberty_. Its sign is a flow of blood

recurring every month; its meaning, that the female has entered upon

that portion of her life whose peculiar obligations are to the whole

race--no longer to herself alone. The second part of her twofold nature

is opened. Why is it that on her, the weaker sex, this extra burden is

laid? Why this weakness, these pains, this recurring loss of vital

fluid?

Perhaps, as has been observed, it is a wise provision that she is thus

reminded of her lowly duty, lest man should make her the sole object of

his worship, or lest the pride of beauty should obscure the sense of

shame. But this question concerns rather the moralist than the

physician, and we cease asking _why_ it is, and shall only inquire

_what_ it is.

To this science returns a clear reply. In the anatomy of woman there are

two small bodies, in shape and size like large almonds, called the

ovaries. They lie one on each side of the womb, and are connected with

it by tubes about four inches in length. These bodies are solid, but

contain a great number of diminutive vesicles, which, by some mysterious

law of nature, mature one at a time, every thirty days, for thirty years

of woman's life. When mature, the vesicle separates from the ovary,

traverses the tube into the womb, and is thence expelled and lost, or

becomes, by contact with the other sex, the germ of a living being. This

process is accompanied by a disturbance of the whole system. Wandering

pains are felt; a sense of languor steals over the mind; the blood

rushes with increased violence through the vessels, and more or less of

it escapes from the veins, causing that change which we term

_menstruation._

The ancients had a tradition that in the beginning of things the world

was made from an egg; the naturalists of past generations had this

maxim: Everything living comes from an egg; and science to-day says the

same. For this vesicle we have mentioned is in fact an _egg_, similar in

structure to those which birds, fish, and turtles deposit. The only

differences are, that the one is developed out of the body, the other

within; the one has a shell, the other has none.

Therefore physiologists give this definition: Menstruation is

ovulation,--it is the laying of an egg.

WHAT IS THE AGE OF PUBERTY?

This has been a matter of careful study by physicians. They have

collected great numbers of observations, and have reached this

conclusion: In the middle portion of the temperate zone, the average age

when the first period appears in healthy girls is fourteen years and six

months. If it occurs more than six months later or earlier than this,

then it is likely something is wrong, or, at least, the case is

exceptional.

Exceptional cases, where this average is widely departed from in

apparently perfect health, are rare. But they do occur. We have known

instances where the solicitude of parents has been excited by the long

delay of this constitutional change, and others in which it has taken

place at an almost tender age, without causing any perceptible injury to

the general health.

There is an instance recorded, on good authority, where a French child

but three years old underwent all the physical changes incident to

puberty, and grew to be a healthy woman. But what children can surpass

the American in precocity? This French child-woman is quite left in the

shade by one described in a recent number of a western medical journal,

who _from her birth_ had regular monthly changes, and the full physical

development which marks the perfect woman!

Thus, sometimes, a wide deviation from the average age we have stated

occurs, without having any serious meaning. Yet at no time is such a

deviation to be neglected. In nine out of ten instances it is owing to

some fault in the constitution, the health, or formation, which should

be ascertained and corrected. Otherwise years of broken health and

mental misery may be the sad results. Mothers, teachers, it is with you

this responsibility rests. The thousands of wretched wives, who owe

their wretchedness to a neglect of proper attention at this

turning-point of their lives, warn you how serious is this

responsibility.

The foundation of old age, says a distinguished author, is laid in

childhood; but the health of middle-life depends upon puberty. Never was

there a truer maxim. The two years which change the girl to the woman

often seal for ever the happiness or the hopeless misery of her whole

life. They decide whether she is to become a healthy, helpful, cheerful

wife and mother, or a languid, complaining invalid, to whom marriage is

a curse, children an affliction, and life itself a burden.

We reiterate our warning: Mothers, teachers, you to whom children are

confided at this crisis of their lives, look well to it that you

appreciate, understand, and observe the duties you have assumed. Let no

false modesty prevent you from learning and enforcing those precautions,

so necessary at this period of life.

WHAT HASTENS AND WHAT RETARDS PUBERTY?

As a rule, we find that those who develope early, fade early. A short

childhood portends a premature old age. It often foreshadows, also, a

feeble middle-life.

Having ascertained, therefore, what is the average age at which puberty

takes place with us, let us see what conditions anticipate or retard

this age.

The most important is _climate._

In hot climates, man, like the vegetation, has a surprising rapidity of

growth. Marriages are usual at twelve or fourteen years of age. Puberty

comes to both sexes as early as at ten and eleven years. We even read in

the life of Mohammed, that one of his wives, when but ten years of age,

bore him a son. Let another dozen years pass, and these blooming maidens

have been metamorphosed into wrinkled, faded old women. The beauty of

their precocious youth has withered almost literally like a flower which

is plucked.

Very different is it in the cold and barren regions of the far north.

There man, once more partaking of the nature of his surroundings, yields

as slowly to the impulses of his passions as does the ice-bound earth to

the slanting rays of the summer sun. Maturity, so quick to come, so

swift to leave in the torrid heats, arrives, chilled by the long

winters, to the girls of Lapland, Norway, and Siberia, only when they

are eighteen and nineteen years of age. But, in return for this, they

retain their vigor and good looks to a green old age.

Between these extremes, including as they do the whole second decade of

existence, this important change takes place normally in different

latitudes. We have said that in the middle temperate zone the proper age

is fourteen years and six months. Let us now see what conditions lead to

deviations from this age in our climate.

First on the list is that sacred fire handed down to us from our

ancestors, which we call, in our material language, the _constitution._

The females of certain races, certain families, it is often noticed,

mature earlier than their neighbours. Jewesses, for example, are always

precocious, earlier by one or two years. So are colored girls, and those

of creole lineage. We can guess the reasons here. No doubt these

children still retain in their blood the tropic fire which, at

comparatively recent periods, their forefathers felt under the vertical

rays of the torrid zone.

Nor is this all. It is well ascertained, from numerous observations,

that brunettes develope sooner than their blonde sisters; that those who

will grow to be large women are slower than those whose stature will be

small; that the dark-haired and black-eyed are more precocious in this

respect than the light-haired and blue-eyed; that the fat, sluggish girl

is more tardy than the slender, active one; that, in general, what is

known as the nervo-bilious temperament is ever ahead of that called the

lymphatic or phlegmatic.

It is a familiar fact, that it is not a good sign to see this change

before the usual average time. It betokens a weakly, excitable,

diminutive frame. Hard labor, vigorous, regular muscular exertion--prime

health, in other words--never tends to anticipate this epoch, but rather

to retard it.

With this warning fresh in our ears, let us now rehearse what causes

constantly incline unduly to hasten puberty, and thus to forestall wise

Nature in her plans for health and beauty. They are of two

kinds,--physical and mental.

Idleness of body, highly-seasoned food, stimulating beverages, such as

beer, wine, liqueurs, and, in a less degree, coffee and tea, irregular

habits of sleep,--these are the physical causes of premature

development. But the mental causes are still more potent.

Whatever _stimulates the emotions_ leads to an unnaturally early sexual

life. Late hours, children's parties, sensational novels, 'flashy'

papers, love stories, the drama, the ball-room, talk of beaux, love, and

marriage,--that atmosphere of riper years which is so often and so

injudiciously thrown around childhood,--all hasten the event which

transforms the girl into the woman. A particular emphasis has been laid

by some physicians on the power of music to awaken the dormant

susceptibilities to passion, and on this account its too general or

earnest cultivation by children has been objected to. Educators would do

well to bear this caution in mind.

How powerfully these causes work is evident when we compare the average

age of puberty in large cities and in country districts. The females in

the former mature from six to eight months sooner than those in the

latter. This is unquestionably owing to their mode of life,--physically

indolent, mentally over-stimulated. The result, too, is seen with

painful plainness in comparing the sturdy, well-preserved farm-wife of

thirty, with the languid, pale, faded city lady of the same age.

THE CHANGES IT WORKS.

Two short years change the awkward and angular girl of fourteen into the

trim and graceful maiden of sweet sixteen. Wonderful metamorphosis! The

magic wand of the fairy has touched her, and she comes forth a new

being, a vision of beauty to bewitch the world.

Let us analyze this change.

The earliest sign of approaching puberty is a deposit of fat in the

loose cellular tissue under the skin. This gives roundness to the form,

and grace to the movements. According to a distinguished naturalist

(Buffon), it is first observable by a slight swelling of the groins.

Thence it extends over the whole body. The breasts especially receive

additions, and develope to form the perfect bust.

Parts of the body previously free from hair become covered with a soft

growth, and that which covers the head acquires more vigor and gloss,

usually becoming one or two shades darker. The eyes brighten, and

acquire unwonted significance. These windows of the soul betray to the

close observer the novel emotions which are arising in the mind within.

The voice, too, shares in the transformation. The piping, slender

articulation of the child gives way to the rich, melodious, soft voice

of woman--the sweetest music man ever hears. To the student of humanity,

to the observant physician, nothing is more symbolical of the whole

nature than the voice. Would you witness a proof of its power? Watch

how a person born blind unerringly discriminates the character of those

he meets by this alone.

Beyond all external modifications, we find others, which indicate how

profound is the alteration now taking place. The internal organs of the

body assume new functions and new powers. The taste for food changes,

hinting that the system has demands hitherto unknown. Those organs we

have adverted to, called the ovaries, increase in size, as also does the

uterus. The very framework of the structure does not escape. The bones

increase in weight, and those around the hips expand, and give the

female her distinctive form, upon the perfection of which her life and

that of her children depend.

MENTAL CHANGES.

Such are the changes which strike the eye. But there are others which

are not less significant, and which demand far more urgently our

watchful heed. New thoughts, strange desires, are invading the soul. A

novel relation is assumed to the world. It is vague, misunderstood, but

disturbing all the same.

The once light-hearted girl inclines to reveries; she seeks solitude;

her mother surprises her in causeless tears; her teacher discovers an

unwonted inattention to her studies, a less retentive memory, a

disinclination to mental labor; her father misses her accustomed

playfulness; he, perhaps, is annoyed by her listlessness and inertia.

What does it all mean? What is the matter with the girl?

Mother, teacher, father, it is for you to know the answers to these

questions. You have guarded this girl through years of helpless infancy

and thoughtless childhood. At the peril of her life, and of what is of

more value than life, do not now relax your vigilance. Every day the

reaper Death reaps with his keen sickle the flowers of our land. The

mothers weep, indeed; but little do they realize that it is because they

have neglected to cherish them as was their duty, that the Lord of

Paradise has taken them back unto Himself.

THE COMPLETION OF PUBERTY.

The symptoms increase until at length the system has acquired the

necessary strength, and furnished itself with reserve forces enough to

complete its transformation. Then the monthly flow commences.

In thoroughly healthy girls it continues to recur at regular intervals,

from twenty-five to thirty days apart. This is true of about three out

of four. In others, a long interval, sometimes six months, occurs

between the first and second sickness. If the general health be not _in

the least_ impaired, this need cause no anxiety. Irregularities are

found in the first year or two, which often right themselves afterwards.

But whenever they are associated with the _slightest_ signs of mental or

bodily disorder, they demand instant and intelligent attention.

It used to be supposed that the periods of the monthly sickness were in

some way connected with the phases of the moon. So general is this

belief even yet in France, that a learned Academician not long since

thought it worth while carefully to compare over four thousand

observations, to see whether they did bear any relations to the lunar

phases. It is hardly worth while to add that he found none.

We have known perfectly healthy young women who were ill every sixteen

days, and others in whom a period of thirty-five or thirty-six days

would elapse. The reasons of such differences are not clear. Some

inherited peculiarity of constitution is doubtless at work. Climate is

of primary importance. Travellers in Lapland, and other countries in the

far north, say that the women there are not regulated more frequently

than three or four times a year. Hard labor and a phlegmatic temperament

usually prolong the interval between the periodical illnesses.

An equal diversity prevails in reference to the _length of time_ the

discharge continues. The average of a large number of cases observed in

healthy women, between the ages of fifteen and thirty-five, is four days

and a fraction. In a more general way, we may say from two to six days

is the proper duration. Should it diverge widely from this, then it is

likely some mischief is at work.

In relation to the _amount_ of the discharge, every woman is a law unto

herself. Usually, it is four or five ounces in all. Habits of life are

apt to modify it materially. Here, again, those exposed to prolonged

cold and inured to severe labor escape more easily than their sisters

petted in the lap of luxury. Delicate, feeble, nervous women--those, in

other words, who can least afford the loss of blood--are precisely those

who lose the most. Nature, who is no tender mother, but a stern

step-mother, thus punishes them for disregarding her laws. Soft

couches, indolent ease, highly spiced food; warm rooms, weak

muscles,--these are the infractions of her rules which she revenges with

vigorous, ay, merciless severity.

It is well known, too, that excitement of the emotions, whether of

anger, joy, grief, hatred, or love increases the discharge. Even the

vulgar are aware of this, and, misinterpreting it as half-knowledge

always does, suppose it a sign of stronger animal passions. It bears no

such meaning. But the fact reads us a lesson how important it is to

cultivate a placid mind, free from strong desire or fear, and to hold

all our emotions in the firm leash of reason.

Physicians attach great importance to the _character_ of the discharge.

It should be thin, watery, dark-coloured, and never clot. If it clots,

it is an indication that something is wrong.

THE DANGERS OF PUBERTY.

We have shown that there are constantly individual deviations, quite

consistent with health, from any given standard. They only become

significant of disease when they depart decidedly from the average,

either in the frequency of the illness, its duration, the amount of the

discharge, or the character. More or less pain, more or less prostration

and general disturbances at these epochs, are universal and inevitable.

They are part of the sentence which at the outset He pronounced upon the

woman, when He said unto her, 'I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and

thy conception.' Yet with merciful kindness He has provided means by

which the pain may be greatly lessened, and the sorrow avoided; and

that we may learn and observe these means, their neglect often increases

a hundred-fold the natural suffering.

At this critical period, the seeds of hereditary and constitutional

diseases manifest themselves. They draw fresh malignancy from the new

activity of the system. The first symptoms of tubercular consumption, of

scrofula, of obstinate and disfiguring skin diseases, of hereditary

insanity, of congenital epilepsy, of a hundred terrible maladies, which

from birth have lurked in the child, biding the opportunity of attack,

suddenly spring from their lairs, and hurry her to the grave or the

madhouse. If we ask why so many fair girls of eighteen or twenty are

followed by weeping friends to an early tomb, the answer is, chiefly

from diseases which had their origin at the period of puberty.

It is impossible for us here to rehearse all the minute symptoms, each

almost trifling in itself, which warn the practised physician of the

approach of one of these fearful foes in time to allow him to make a

defence. We can do little more than iterate the warning, that whenever,

at this momentous epoch, any disquieting change appears, be it physical

or mental, let not a day be lost in summoning _skilled_, _competent_

medical advice.

There is, however, a train of symptoms so frequent, so insidious, so

fruitful with agony of mind and body, that we shall mention them

particularly. They illustrate, at once, how all-important is close

observation, and how significant to the wise physician are trifles

seemingly light as air.

If you notice a girl of fourteen or sixteen, who, in walking, always

gives one arm in preference to the other to her companion; if, in

sleeping, she mostly lies on the same side; if, in sitting, she is apt

to prefer a chair with a low back, and throws one arm over its back; if

you perceive that she always sits with one foot a little in advance of

the other; if she, on inquiry, confesses to slight, wandering pains in

one side of her chest,--do not chide her for awkwardness. These are

ominous portents. They mean _spinal disease_, than which a more fearful

malady is hardly known to medicine.

Not less stealthy is the approach of disease of the hip-joint, of white

swelling of the knee, of consumption,--all curable if taken in hand at

the very first, all well-nigh hopeless when they have once unmasked

their real features.

Apart from these general dangers, to which those of thoroughly sound

constitutions are not exposed, there are disorders called functional, to

which all are subject.

GREEN SICKNESS.

When we speak of the 'green sickness,' we mention perhaps the most

common of all, and one of which every mother has heard. Doctors call it

_chlorosis_, which also means _greenness_; for one of its most common

and peculiar symptoms is a pale complexion with a greenish tinge.

It never occurs except at or near the age of puberty, and was long

supposed to be merely an impoverishment of the blood. Now, however, we

have learned that it is a disease of the nervous system, and one very

often confounded by physicians with other complaints.

Its attack is insidious. A distaste for exertion and society, a fitful

appetite, low spirits,--these are all the symptoms noticed at first.

Then, one by one, come palpitation of the heart, an unhealthy

complexion, irregularity, dyspepsia, depraved tastes,--such as a desire

to eat slate-pencil dust, chalk, or clay,--vague pains in body and

limbs, a bad temper; until the girl, after several months, is a peevish,

wretched, troublesome invalid.

Then, if a physician is called in, and gives her iron, and tells her

nothing is the matter, or is himself alarmed, and imagines she has heart

disease or consumption, it is a chance if she does not rapidly sink, out

of mere fright and over-much dosing, into some fatal complaint. Let it

be well understood that chlorosis, though often obstinate and obscure,

is always curable if properly and promptly treated. The remedies must be

addressed to the nervous system, and can be administered with

intelligence only by a competent medical adviser. It can be prevented by

a hygienic mode of life, and, as its most common causes are anxiety,

home-sickness, want of exercise, or overwork at school, nothing is so

salutary in its early stages as a change of air and scene, cheerful

company, a tour to the mountains or some watering-place, and regular

exercise.

Many young women suffer considerable pain during their monthly illness.

This may arise from many different causes, such as, congestion,

inflammation, malformation, or a wrong position of the parts, or

over-sensitive nerves. They can only be successfully treated when the

cause is known; and they may rest assured that this suffering, in nearly

every case, can be removed.

Sometimes a girl grows to the age of eighteen or twenty without having

her periodical changes. We have already said that this is not unusual in

some climates and in some families; so, as long as the general health is

good and the spirits cheerful,--always an important point,--it need

cause no anxiety. But if the health grow poor, and especially if there

be pains and weakness recurring monthly without discharge, then

something is wrong, and the doctor should be consulted.

HYSTERICS.

There is a disease of the nerves to which girls about the age of puberty

are very subject, particularly in the higher circles of society, where

their emotions are over-educated and their organization delicate. It is

called hysteria, and more commonly _hysterics_. Frequently it deceives

both doctor and friends, and is supposed to be some dangerous complaint.

Often it puts on the symptoms of epilepsy, or heart disease, or

consumption. We have witnessed the most frightful convulsions in girls

of fourteen or fifteen, which were brought on by this complaint.

Sometimes it injures the mind; and it should always receive prompt and

efficient attention, as it is always curable.

This disease is apt to produce a similar affection in other girls of the

same age who see the attacks. For this reason, hysterical girls should

not be sent to large schools, but cured at home. Often a strong mental

impression restores them. The anecdote is told of a celebrated surgeon

(Boerhaave) who was called to a female seminary where there was a number

of hysterical girls. He summoned them together, heated a number of iron

instruments before their eyes, and told them that the first one who had

a fit should be cauterized down the spine. They all recovered

immediately.

SECRET BAD HABITS.

We now approach a part of our subject which we would gladly omit, did

not constant experience admonish us of our duty to speak of it in no

uncertain tone. We refer to the disastrous consequences on soul and body

to which young girls expose themselves by exciting and indulging morbid

passions. Years ago, Miss Catherine E. Beecher sounded a note of warning

to the mothers of America on this secret vice, which leads their

daughters to the grave, the madhouse, or, worse yet, the brothel.

Gladly would we believe that her timely admonition had done away with

the necessity for its repetition. But though we believe such a habit is

more rare than many physicians suppose, it certainly exists to a degree

that demands attention. Surgeons have recently been forced to devise

painful operations to hinder young girls from thus ruining themselves;

and we must confess that, in its worst form, it is absolutely incurable.

The results of the constant nervous excitement which this habit produces

are bodily weakness, loss of memory, low spirits, distressing

nervousness, a capricious appetite, dislike of company and of study,

and finally, paralysis, imbecility, or insanity. Let it not be supposed

that there are many who suffer thus severely; but, on the other hand,

let it be clearly understood that any indulgence whatever in these evil

courses is attended with bad effects, especially because they create

impure desires and thoughts, which will prepare the girl to be a willing

victim to the arts of profligacy. There is no more solemn duty resting

on those who have the charge of young females than to protect them

against this vice.

But, it is exclaimed, is it not dangerous to tell them anything about

it? Such a course is unnecessary. Teach them that any handling of the

parts, any indecent language, any impure thought, is degrading and

hurtful. See that the servants, nurses, and companions with whom they

associate are not debased; and recommend scrupulous cleanliness.

If the habit is discovered, do not scold nor whip the child. It is

_often_ a result of disease, and induced by a disagreeable local

itching. Sometimes this is connected with a disorder of the womb, and

very frequently with worms in the bowels. Let the case be submitted to a

judicious, skilful medical adviser, and the girl will yet be saved. But

do not shut your eyes, and refuse to see this fact when it exists.

Mothers are too often unwilling to entertain for a moment the thought

that their daughters are addicted to such a vice, when it is only too

plain to the physician.

THE HYGIENE OF PUBERTY.

Concerning the maladies of puberty, we may broadly say, that if we are

obliged to have recourse to medicine, it is because we have neglected

hygiene. That the period requires assiduous care, we grant; but given

that care, drugs will be needless.

In a general way, we have already emphasized the danger of indolence and

the benefits of exercise or labor; the perils of exciting the emotions,

and the advantages of a placid disposition; the impropriety of premature

development, and the wisdom of simplicity and moderation. This is an old

story--a thrice-told tale. Let us go more into minutiæ.

One of the most frequent causes of disease, about the age of puberty, is

_starvation_. Many a girl is starved to death. Food is given her, but

not of the right quality, or in insufficient quantity, or at improper

hours. The system is not nourished, and, becoming feeble, it is laid

open to the attacks of disease, and to no form of disease more readily

than to consumption.

To correct this, let the food be varied, simply prepared, and abundant.

Good fresh milk should be used daily, while tea and coffee should be

withheld. Fat meats and vegetable oils, generally disliked by girls at

this age, are exactly what they need; and were they partaken of more

freely, there would be less inquiry at the druggists for cod-liver oil.

A modern writer of eminence lays it down as one of the most common

causes of consumption in young people, that just at the age when their

physical system is undergoing such important changes, that invaluable

article of diet, _milk_, is generally dropped, and nothing equally rich

in nitrogen substituted in its place.

_Exercise_, whether as games, the skipping rope, croquet, walking,

dancing, riding, and calisthenics, or as regular labor, is highly

beneficial, especially when it leads one into the fresh air, the

sunshine, and the country. A particular kind of exercise is to be

recommended for those whose chests are narrow, whose shoulders stoop,

and who have a hereditary predisposition to consumption. If it is

systematically practised along with other means of health, we would

guarantee any child, no matter how many relatives have died of this

disease, against its invasion. It is voluntary inspiration. Nothing is

more simple. Let her stand erect, throw the shoulders well back, and the

hands behind; then let her slowly inhale pure air to the full capacity

of the lungs, and retain it a few seconds _by an increased effort_; then

it may be slowly exhaled. After one or two natural inspirations, let her

repeat the act, and so on for ten or fifteen minutes, twice daily. Not

only is this simple procedure a safeguard against consumption, but, in

the opinion of some learned physicians, it can even cure it when it has

already commenced.

At first the monthly loss of blood exhausts the system. Therefore,

plenty of food, plenty of rest, plenty of sleep, are required. That

ancient prejudice in favour of early rising should be discarded now, and

the girl should retire early, and if she will, should sleep late. Hard

study, care, or anxiety should be spared her. This is not the time for

rigid discipline.

_Clothing_ is a matter of importance, and, if we were at all sure of

attention, there is much we would say of it. The thought seriously

troubles us, that so long as women consent to deform themselves and

sacrifice their health to false ideas of beauty, it is almost hopeless

to urge their fitness for, and their right to a higher life than they

now enjoy. No educated painter or sculptor is ignorant of what the model

of female beauty is; no fashionable woman is content unless she departs

from it as far as possible.

Now beauty implies health, and ugliness of form is attained not only at

the expense of æsthetics, but of comfort. The custom of fastening

growing girls in tight corsets, of flattening their breasts with pads,

of distorting their feet in small high-heeled shoes, and of teaching

them to stoop and mince in gait, is calculated to disgust every observer

of good sense and taste, and, what is of more consequence, to render

these girls, when they become women, more liable to every species of

suffering connected with child-bearing.

The monthly change is the prelude to maternity. On its healthful

recurrence depends present comfort and future health; and not these

alone, but also happiness in marriage, easy child-beds, and the

constitution of children to a degree the thoughtless girl and even the

mature woman rarely understand. She, therefore, who neglects the due

care of her own condition, violates a duty owed to others as well as

herself. We would have mothers impress this on their daughters. Let no

mistaken modesty prevent them.

Especially at their commencement should the monthly changes be carefully

watched. The mother should prepare her daughter's mind betimes for such

an expected incident in her life, thus preventing a useless fright, or

the employment of injurious means to stop what the child may look upon

as an accident.

Nor should the maternal care cease here. Such tender sympathy should

exist on the one side, such trusting confidence on the other, that the

mother should acquaint herself with every detail of each recurring

period until the function is thoroughly established. She should inquire

into the duration of each epoch, the abundance of the discharge, the

presence of pain, and its effects on the general health. She should

convince herself that all these do not vary from the standards of health

we have previously laid down. Or should they do so, she should not delay

to use the proper means to bring them to that standard.

Long observation proves that if, during the first two or three years

which follow the attainment of puberty, the health of the girl is

successfully guarded, and this, her most important physical distinction,

meets with no derangement, her life-long health is well-nigh secured;

but, on the contrary, if she commences her sexual life with pain and

disorder, she is likely to be a life-long sufferer.

We are about to approach a topic of vital importance, therefore, in

summing up as briefly as may be, the precautions necessary to attain

this end. They can most conveniently be divided into those to be

observed during the monthly changes, and those more general rules of

health to be obeyed in the intervals of the periods.

PRECAUTIONS DURING THE MONTHLY CHANGES.

At the head of all cautions and warnings which we could give about the

care of the health at these monthly periods, we put _rest_, _rest_,

bodily and mental. _Do less than usual_, we say to all, whether the

necessity for it is manifest or not. Over-exertion is a most fruitful

cause of disease. Long walks, shopping, dancing, riding, hard work

whether for pleasure or profit, should be avoided to the utmost.

The advantages of rest cannot be over-estimated. A striking example of

it occurs to our mind. Most readers are aware how toilsome are the lives

of the Indian women among our Western tribes, and also how singularly

easy and almost painless is their child-bearing. The pangs of travail

are almost unknown to them. The cause of this has puzzled even

physicians. We can tell them. It is because it is an inviolable, a

sacred rule among all those tribes, for the woman, when having her

monthly sickness, to drop all work, absent herself from the lodge, and

remain in perfect rest as long as the discharge continues.

Traces of this wide-spread custom among primitive people, extended

themselves, are discoverable among civilized lands. The famous general

council of the Christian Church held at Nice in the fourth century,

passed a rule disapproving of women coming to church at the times of

their menstrual sickness. The cold and dampness of large edifices, the

mental excitement and its unfavourable effects and the exertion

requisite for long walks to and fro, would justify this rule on purely

hygienic grounds, and such may have caused its adoption.

A moderate and uniform temperature favors health at such epochs; while

exposure to heat or cold, and the drinking freely of iced water or

stimulants should be shunned.

The popular belief that bathing is hurtful, is correct so far as either

cold or hot baths are concerned; but it is well to know, in the

interests of comfort and cleanliness, that a moderately warm-bath, about

80° Fahr., _will do no injury_. Such a bath can be taken without any

hesitation.

We sanction, also, another well-known rule, and that is, that no

purgative medicine should be taken immediately before or during the

change. If called for by some other disorder, a mild laxative is all

that should be administered, unless by the direction of a physician.

PRECAUTIONS IN THE INTERVALS OF THE MONTHLY CHANGES.

If girls suffer from irregularities in this respect, the causes can

generally be found either in some affection threatening the general

health, such as scrofula, consumption, green sickness, etc., or else in

their mode of life. For the former, the family physician must be

consulted; but if it is the latter which is at fault, the remedy is in

the hands of the parents.

Boarding-school life, city life, mental troubles--these are the three

fertile sources of disturbances in the sexual functions of girlhood.

No one rates at higher value than ourselves the training of the mind;

but we do not hesitate a moment to urge that if perturbations of the

functions become at all marked in a girl at school, she should be _taken

away_. Better live at home in seeming idleness a year at that time of

life, than become a dead-weight, through constant ill health, on her

husband in after life.

So of the unwholesome excitement of a city life. There is a poison in

crowds, and it acts in a thousand unseen ways. With the ceaseless noise,

the broken sleep, the late hours, the impure air, and the nervous

tension which all these produce, it requires no strength of imagination

to perceive that the city is not the best place for the delicate girl.

We have mentioned _mental troubles_. Perhaps there are, among those who

read this, some superficial enough to smile at the possibility of

serious mental troubles in girlhood. There are, we know, many unfeeling

enough to give them no attention when they do see them. But we have an

unfailing witness in the sympathetic heart of the mother. She has not

forgotten how bitter were the crosses of her own younger years; she

knows that the sensitive soul of woman wakes early to the keenest

appreciation of grief as well as joy. If anything, years blunt us, and

the sorrows of youth are often the bitterest of our lives.

Let the mother, therefore, read with her wondrous maternal instinct the

trials of her daughter; let her become her most intimate confidant, and

pour upon the wounded spirit that balm which none but a woman, and that

woman a mother, knows how to apply. Such a relationship of mother and

daughter is no less natural and wholesome than it is beautiful.

WHEN THE CHANGES ARE DELAYED.

In health an equal interval, or one nearly equal, elapses between the

monthly illnesses. Often in the spring, however, their appearance

anticipates the expected date of their occurrence, and in the autumn

they are frequently a day or two late. These variations are owing to the

temperature, heat accelerating and cold retarding the process of

ovulation.

Such slight irregularities need not give rise to anxiety; but if there

is an unwonted delay, combined with other symptoms of ill-health, as

headache, pain in the side and back, a sense of languor and exhaustion,

loss of appetite, and nausea, and fitful sleep, then it is important

that some steps be taken to bring on the courses. For this purpose,

soaking the feet in hot-mustard water, a tumbler of hot ginger or

camomile-tea, a brisk walk, or a gentle laxative will generally be found

sufficient. Gently kneading the lower abdomen and loins is a familiar,

and if intelligently done, a safe means for the same purpose.

More violent means than these should be eschewed. Whichever are used

subsequent to their employment, rest, in a recumbent position, in a

warm room should be secured.

WHEN THE CHANGES ARE PAINFUL.

There are wide individual differences in this respect. Some young women

suffer much from local pains, headache and languor at such epochs,

without apparently losing anything in general health; others experience

no distress whatever.

The causes of painful periods are various. Sometimes they depend on a

tendency to rheumatism or to ague. Over-work, or excessive devotion to

social duties and pleasures, is often their source. Cold and damp are

common incidental causes. Green sickness and general debility are

sometimes to blame.

Of course the treatment must depend on which one of these is present. It

is a good rule, however, always to wear flannel next the skin; also, to

avoid exposure to the weather for several days before the change is

expected. A large, hot, linseed-meal poultice, over which a

dessert-spoonful of laudanum has been sprinkled, or a large

mustard-plaster, spread on the lower abdomen, will afford much relief. A

hot brick or bottle of hot water wrapped in flannel, and applied to the

small of the back, is often of great service. Rest in bed is always to

be recommended. A tea-spoonful of sweet spirits of nitre will sometimes

bring early relief.

But if these simple means are not sufficient, it would be better to

consult a physician.

A common belief is that such troubles are cured by marriage. Sometimes

they are, but we do not approve the remedy. The state of marriage

should be entered upon in perfect health and full vigor. Upon it

depends the health of future generations, and it were better for them

did only those assume its bonds who are able to endow their children

with sound physical frames.

THE AGE OF NUBILITY.

It does not follow, because a girl is capable of marriage, that she is

fit for it. Science teaches us many valid objections to too early

unions. It goes farther, and fixes a certain age at which it is wisest

for woman to marry. This age is between twenty and twenty-five years.

Anatomists have learned that after puberty the bones of a woman's body

undergo important modifications to fit her for child-bearing. This

requires time, and before twenty the process is not completed. Until the

woman is perfect herself, until her full stature and completed form are

attained, she is not properly qualified to assist in perpetuating the

species.

We might urge that up to this moment neither does her self-knowledge

qualify her to choose a life-companion, nor can her education be

finished, nor is her experience sufficient for her to enter on the

duties of a matron. But we do not appeal to these arguments. There are

others still more forcible. If her own health, life, and good looks are

of value to her, if she has any wish for healthy, sound minded children,

she will refrain from premature nuptials.

A too youthful wife finds marriage not a pleasure but a pain. Her

nervous system is prostrated by it; she is more liable to weakness and

diseases of the womb; and if of a consumptive family, she runs great

risk of finding that fatal malady manifest itself after a year or two of

wedded life. It is very common for those who marry young to die young.

From statistics which have been carefully compiled, it is proven that

the first labors of very young mothers are much more painful, tedious,

and dangerous to life, than others. As wives, they are frequently

visited either with absolute sterility, and all their lives must bear

the reproach of barren women, or, what to many is hardly less

distasteful, they have an excessively numerous family.

What adds to their sufferings in the latter event, is that the children

of such marriages are rarely healthy. They are feeble, sickly,

undersized, often with some fault of mind or body, which is a cross to

them and their parents all their lives. They inherit more readily the

defects of their ancestors, and, as a rule, die at earlier years than

the progeny of better-timed unions.

These considerations are formidable enough, it would seem, to prevent

young girls from marrying, without the need of a law, as exists in some

countries. Moreover, they are not imaginary, but real, as many a woman

finds out to her cost.

The objections to marriage after the age of twenty-five are less cogent.

They extend only to the woman herself. She should know that the first

labors of wives over thirty are nearly _twice_ as fatal as those between

twenty and twenty-five. Undoubtedly nature points to the period between

the twentieth and twenty-fifth year as the fittest one for marriage in

the woman.

_LOVE._

ITS POWER ON HUMANITY.

Love, pure love, true love, what can we say of it? The dream of youth;

the cherished reminiscence of age; celebrated in the songs of poets;

that which impels the warrior to his most daring deeds; which the

inspired prophet chooses to typify the holiest sentiments,--what new

thing is it possible to say about this theme?

Think for a moment on the history or the literature of the world. Ask

the naturalist to reveal the mysteries of life; let the mythologist

explain the origin and meaning of all unrevealed religions; look within

at the promptings of your own spirit, and this whole life of ours will

appear to you as one grand epithalamium.

The profoundest of English poets has said--

'All thoughts, all passions, all delights,

Whatever stirs this mortal frame,

All are but ministers of Love,

And feed his sacred flame.'

That life which is devoid of love is incomplete, sterile,

unsatisfactory. It fails of its chiefest end. Nature, in anger, blots it

out sooner, and it passes like the shadow of a cloud, leaving no trace

behind. Admirable as it may be in other respects, to the eye of the

statesman, the physician, the lover of his species, it remains but a

fragment, a torso.

Love is one thing to a woman, another to a man. To him, said Madame de

Staël, it is an episode; to her, it is the whole history of life. A

thousand distractions divert man. Fame, riches, power, pleasure, all

struggle in his bosom to displace the sentiment of love. They are its

rivals, not rarely its masters. But woman knows no such distractions.

One passion only sits enthroned in her bosom; one only idol is enshrined

in her heart, knowing no rival, no successor. This passion is love! This

idol is its object.

This is not fancy, not rhetoric; it is the language of cold and exact

science, pronounced from the chair of history, from the bureau of the

statistician, from the dissecting table of the anatomist. We shall

gather up their well-weighed words, and present them, not as fancy

sketches, but as facts.

This deep, all-absorbing, single, wondrous love of woman, is something

that man cannot understand. This sea of unfathomed depth is to him a

mystery. The shallow mind sees of it nothing but the rippling waves, the

unstable foam-crests dashing hither and thither, the playful ripples of

the surface, and, blind to the still and measureless waters beneath,

calls woman capricious, uncertain,--_varium et mutabile_. But the

thinker and seer, undeceived by such externals, knows that beneath this

seeming change is stability unequaled in the stronger sex, a power of

will to which man is a stranger, a devotion and purpose which strike him

with undefined awe.

Therefore, in the myths and legends which the early races framed to

express their notions of divine things,--the Fates, who spin and snip

the thread of life; the Norns, who

Lay down laws,

And select life

For the children of time--

The destinies of men,--

are always females. The seeresses and interpreters of oracles--those

who, like the witch of Endor, could summon from the grave the shades of

the departed--were women.

Therefore, also, modern infidelity, going back, as it ever does, to the

ignorance of the past, and holding it up as something new, makes woman

the only deity. Comte and his disciples, having reasoned away all gods,

angels, and spirits, and unable to still the craving for something to

adore, agree to meet once a week to worship--woman. The French

revolutionists, having shut up the churches and abolished God by a

decree of the Convention, set up in His stead--a woman.

We could never exhaust this phase of world-history. Everywhere we see

the unexpected hand of Love moulding, fashioning all things. The

fortunes of the individual, the fate of nations, the destinies of races,

are guided by this invisible thread. Let us push our inquiries as to the

nature of this all-powerful agent.

WHAT IS LOVE?

It has a divided nature. As we have an immortal soul, but a body of

clay; as the plant roots itself in decaying earth, but spreads its

flowers in glorious sunlight,--so love has a physiological and a moral

nature. It is rooted in that unconscious law of life which bids us

perpetuate our kind; which guards over the conservation of life; which

enforces, with ceaseless admonition, that first precept which God gave

to man before the gates of Eden had been closed upon him: 'Be thou

fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth.' Nothing but a spurious

delicacy, or an ignorance of facts, can prevent our full recognition

that love looks to marriage, and marriage to offspring, as a natural

sequence.

Do we ask proofs of this? We have them in abundance. Those unfortunate

beings who are chosen by Oriental custom to guard the seraglios undergo

a mutilation which disqualifies them from becoming parents. Soon all

traces of passion, all regard for the other sex, all sentiments of love,

totally disappear. The records of medicine contain not a few cases where

disease had rendered it necessary to remove the ovaries from women. At

once a change took place in voice, appearance, and mind. They spoke like

men, a slender beard commenced on their faces, a masculine manner was

conspicuous in all their motions, and every thought of sexual love

passed away for ever. These are the results in every case. What do they

signify? Undoubtedly that the passion of love is dependent upon the

capacity of having offspring, and that such was the intention of Nature

in implanting in our bosom this all-powerful sentiment.

But this is not all. Nature, as beneficent to those who obey her

precepts as she is merciless to those who disregard them, has added to

this sentiment of love a physical pleasure in its gratification,--an

honourable and proper pleasure, which none but the hypocrite or the

ascetic will affect to condemn, none but the coarse or the lewd will

regard as the object of love. There is, indeed, a passion which is the

love of the body. We call it by its proper name of _lust_. There is

another emotion, for which the rich tongue of the ancient Greeks had a

word, to which we have nothing to correspond. Call it, if you will,

Platonic love, and define it to be an exalted friendship. But understand

that neither the one nor the other is _love_, in the true sense of the

word, and that _both_ are inferior to it.

Does the father, watching, with moistened eyes, his child at its

mother's breast; does the husband, bending with solicitude over the

sick-bed of his wife; does the wife, clinging to her husband through

evil report and good report, through broken fortunes and failing health,

indicate no loftier emotion than _lust_, no warmer sentiment than

_friendship_? What ignorance, what perversity is so gross as not to

perceive something here nobler than either? Do you say that such scenes

are, alas, rare? We deny it. We see them daily in the streets; we meet

them daily in our rounds. Admitted, by our calling, to the sacred

precincts of many houses in the trying hours of sickness and death, we

speak advisedly, and know that this is the prevailing meaning of love in

domestic life.

A warm, rich affection blesses the one who gives and the one who

receives. Character developes under it as the plant beneath the

sunlight. Happiness is an unknown word without it. Love and marriage are

the only normal conditions of life. Without them, both man and woman for

ever miss the best part of themselves. They suffer more, they sin more,

they perish sooner. These are not hasty assertions. As a social law, let

it be well understood that science pronounces that

LOVE IS A NECESSITY.

The single life is forced upon many of both sexes, in our present social

condition. Many choose it from motives of economy, from timidity, or as

a religious step, pleasing to God. The latter is a notion which probably

arose from a belief that, somehow, celibacy, strictly observed, means

chastity. It simply means continence. The chastest persons have been,

and are, not the virgins and celibates, but the married. When this truth

is known better, we shall have fewer sects and more religion.

We know women who refrain from marrying to keep out of trouble. The old

saying is, that every sigh drives a nail in one's coffin. They are not

going to worry themselves to death bearing children and nursing them! It

is too great a risk, too much suffering. How often have we been told

this! Yet how false the reasoning is! Very carefully prepared statistics

show that between the ages of twenty and forty-five years, more

unmarried women die than married, and few instances of remarkable

longevity in an old maid are known. The celebrated Dr. Hufeland,

therefore, in his treatise on the _Art_ _of Prolonging Life_, lays it

down as a rule, that to attain a great age, one must be married.

As for happiness, those who think they can best attain it outside the

gentle yoke of matrimony are quite as wide of the mark. Their selfish

and solitary pleasures do not gratify them. With all the resources of

clubs, billiard-rooms, saloons, narcotics, and stimulants, single men

make but a mock show of satisfaction. At heart every one of them envies

his married friends. How much more monotonous and more readily exhausted

are the resources of woman's single life! No matter what 'sphere' she is

in, no matter in what 'circle' she moves, no matter what 'mission' she

invents, it will soon pall on her. Would you see the result? We invoke

once more those dry volumes, full of lines and figures, on vital

statistics. Stupid as they look, they are full of the strangest stories;

and what is more, the stories are all true. Some of them are sad

stories, and this is one of the saddest: Of those unfortunates who, out

of despair and disgust of the world, jump from bridges, or take arsenic,

or hang themselves, or in other ways rush unbidden and unprepared before

the great Judge of all, _nearly two-thirds_ are unmarried, and in some

years nearly _three-fourths_. And of those other sad cases--dead, yet

living--who people the madhouses and asylums, what of them? Driven crazy

by their brutal husbands, do you suggest? Not at all! In France,

Bavaria, Prussia, Hanover, four out of every five are unmarried; and

throughout the civilised world there are everywhere three or four single

to one married woman in the establishments for the insane, in

proportion to the whole number of the two classes above twenty-one years

of age.

Other women decline to marry because they have, forsooth, a 'life work'

to accomplish. Some great project fills their mind. Perchance they

emulate Madame de Staël, and would electrify the country by their novel

views in politics; or they have a literary vein they fain would exploit;

or they feel called upon to teach the freedmen, or to keep their

position as leaders of fashion. A husband would trammel them. If they

did marry, they would take the very foolish advice of a contemporary,

and go through life with an indignant protest at its littleness. Let

such women know that they underrate the married state, its powers and

its opportunities. There are no loftier missions than can there be

carried out, no nobler games than can there be played. When we think of

these objections, coming, as they have to us, from high-spirited,

earnest girls, the queens of their sex, our memory runs back to the

famous women of history, the brightest jewels in the coronet of time,

and we find as many, ay, more, married women than single who pursued to

their ends mighty achievements.

If you speak of Judith and Joan of Arc, who delivered their fatherlands

from the enemy by a daring no man can equal, we shall recall the

peaceful victories of her, wife of the barbarian Chlodwig, who taught

the rude Franks the mild religion of Nazareth, and of her who extended

from Byzantium the holy symbol of the cross over the wilds of Russia.

The really great women of this age, are they mostly married or single?

They are mostly married, and they are good wives and tender mothers.

What we have just written, we read to an amiable woman.

'But,' she exclaimed, 'what have you to say to her whom high duties or a

hard fate condemns to a single life, and to the name of the old maid?'

Alas! what can we say to such? We feel that

'Earthlier happy is the rose distilled,

Than that which, withering on the virgin thorn,

Grows, lives, and dies in single blessedness.'

Yet there is ever a blessing in store for those who suffer here, and the

hope of the future must teach them to bear the present.

LOVE IS ETERNAL.

We have said love is a necessity in the life of either man or woman to

complete their nature. Its effects, therefore, are eternal. We do not

intend this as a figure of speech. It is a sober statement of

physiology.

From the day of marriage the woman undergoes a change in her whole

structure. She is similar to her former self, but not the same. It is

often noticed that the children of a woman in her second marriage bear a

marked resemblance to her first husband. In the inferior races and lower

animals this obscure metamorphosis is still more apparent. A negress who

has borne her first child to a white man, will ever after have children

of a color lighter than her own. Count Strzelewski, in his Travels in

Australia, narrates this curious circumstance: A native woman who has

once had offspring by a white man, can never more have children by a

male of her own race. Dr. Darwin relates that a male zebra was once

brought to England, and a hybrid race, marked by the zebra's stripes,

was produced from certain mares. Always after, the colts of those mares

bore the marks of the zebra on their skins. In some way the female is

profoundly altered throughout her whole formation, and entirely

independent of her will, by the act of marriage, and the alteration is

never effaced.

If the body is thus influenced, shall not the far more susceptible mind

and spirit be equally impressed?

Another common observation supports what we say, and extends it farther.

Not the woman alone,--the man also undergoes a change, and loses a

portion of his personality in his mate. They two are one, not merely in

a moral sense. We constantly notice a decided resemblance in old couples

who have passed, say, two score years together. They have grown to look

alike in form, feature, and expression. That for so long a time they

have breathed the same air, eaten the same fare, and been subjected to

the same surroundings, explains this to some extent. But the greater

part of the change flows from mental sources. They have laughed and wept

together; they have shared the same joys and pleasures; a smile or a

tear on the face of one has evoked a corresponding emotion and

expression on the face of the other. Their co-partnership has become a

unity. Even without speaking, they sympathize. Their souls are

constantly _en rapport_. The man is as different as the woman from his

former self.

OF SECOND MARRIAGES.

Science, therefore, seems to say to woman, 'Your first husband is your

eternal husband.' How, then, about second marriages? Are we to say that

they are not advisable?

Let us not answer hastily. It is yet to be seen whether ill-assorted

marriages produce those impressions we have mentioned. They may, indeed,

on the body, while the mind is free. One must remember, also, that the

exigencies of social life must be consulted. If a woman cannot love two

men equally,--and she cannot,--other motives, worthy of all respect,

justify her in entering the marriage life a second time. Then, the

higher refinements of the emotions are not given to all alike, nor do

they come at the same age to all. True love may first dawn upon a woman

after one or two husbands have left her a widow. Orphan children,

widow-hood, want of property, or the care of property,--these are sad

afflictions to the lonely woman. Do not blame her if she accepts a

husband as a guardian, a protector, whom she can no longer receive to

her arms as a lover. She is right.

We cherish the memory of a lady of strong character, who died past

eighty. She had survived three husbands. 'The first,' she said, 'I

married for love, the second for position, the third for friendship. I

was happy with them all.' But when, in her mortal illness, this

venerable friend sank into the delirium which preceded death, she

constantly called out the name of her first husband only. More than

half a century had not effaced the memory of those few years of early

love. This is fidelity indeed.

OF DIVORCE.

He of Nazareth laid down the law that whoever puts away his wife for any

cause except adultery, and marries again, commits adultery; and that

whatever woman puts away her husband for any cause save adultery, and

marries again, herself commits adultery.

This has been found a hard saying.

John Milton wrote a book to show that the Lawgiver did not mean what He

said, but something quite different. Modern sects, calling themselves

_Christians_, after this Lawgiver, dodge the difficulty, and refer it to

State legislatures. State legislatures, not troubling themselves at all

about any previous law or lawgiver, allow dozens of causes--scores of

them--as perfectly valid to put asunder those whom God has joined

together.

Science, which never finds occasion to disagree with that Lawgiver of

Nazareth, here makes His words her own.

Whether we look at it as a question in social life, in morals, or in

physiology, the American plan of granting absolute divorces is

dangerous, and destructive to what is best in life. It leads to hasty,

ill-assorted matches, to an unwillingness to yield to each other's

peculiarities, to a weakening of the family ties, to a lax morality.

Carry it a trifle farther than it now is in some of the Western States,

and marriage will lose all its sacredness, and degenerate into a

physical union, not nobler than the crossing of flies in the air.

Separation of bed and board should always be provided for by law; and

whether single, married, or separated, the woman should retain entire

control of her own property. But in the eyes of God and nature, a woman

or a man with two faithful spouses living, to each of whom an eternal

fidelity has been plighted, is a monster.

OF A PLURALITY OF WIVES OR HUSBANDS.

What has been said of divorce applies with tenfold force to the custom

of a woman living as wife to several men, or of a man as husband to

several women. We should not speak of these customs, but that we know

both exist in America, not among the notoriously wicked, but among those

who claim to be the peculiarly good--the very elect of God. They

prevail, not as lustful excesses, but as religious observances.

It is worth while to say that such practices lead to physical

degradation. The woman who acknowledges more than one husband is

generally sterile; the man who has several wives has usually a weakly

offspring, principally males. Nature attempts to check polygamy by

reducing the number of females, and failing in this, by enervating the

whole stock. The Mormons of Utah would soon sink into a state of Asiatic

effeminacy were they left to themselves.

COURTSHIP.

A wise provision of nature ordains that _woman shall be sought_. She

flees, and man pursues. The folly of modern reformers, who would annul

this provision, is evident. Were it done away with, man, ever prone to

yield to woman's solicitations, and then most prone when yielding is

most dangerous, would fritter away his powers at an early age, and those

very impulses which nature has given to perpetuate the race would bring

about its destruction.

To prevent such a disaster, woman is endowed with a sense of shame, an

invincible modesty, her greatest protection, and her greatest charm. Let

her never forget it, never disregard it; for without it she becomes the

scorn of her own sex and the jest of the other.

The urgency of man and the timidity of woman are tempered by the period

of courtship.

This, as it exists in the United States, is something almost peculiar to

Americans. On the continent of Europe, girls are shut up in convents or

in seminaries, or are kept strictly under the eyes of their parents

until marriage, or, at any rate, betrothal. The liberty usual in America

is something unheard-of and inconceivable there. In Spain a duenna, in

France some aunt or elderly cousin, in Germany some similar person,

makes it her business to be present at every interview which a young

lady has with an admirer. He never dreams of walking, driving, or going

out of an evening with her alone. It is taken for granted that, should

he invite her for such a purpose, the mother or aunt is included in the

party. They would look on the innocent freedom of American girls as

simply scandalous.

We have had opportunities to see society in these various countries, and

have failed to perceive that the morality of either sex is at all

superior to what it is with us, while the effect of cloister-like

education on young women is to weaken their self-reliance, and often

prepare them for greater extravagances when marriage gives them liberty.

With us, the young woman is free until her wedding day. After that

epoch, she looks forward to withdrawing more or less from society, and

confining her thoughts to family matters. In France, Spain, or Italy, in

the wealthier classes, precisely the contrary is the rule. Marriage

brings deliverance from an irksome espionage and numberless fetters; it

is the avenue to a life in public and independent action. How injurious

to domestic happiness this is, can readily be imagined.

It is true that the liberty of American girls occasionally leads to

improprieties. But, except in certain great cities, such instances are

rare. The safeguards of virtue are knowledge and self-command, not

duennas and _jalousies_. Let mothers properly instruct their daughters,

and they need have no apprehension about their conduct.

The period of courtship is one full of importance. A young woman of

unripe experience must decide from what she can see of a man during the

intercourse of a few months, whether he will suit her for a

life-companion. She has no knowledge of human nature; and what would it

avail her if she had, when at such a time a suitor is careful only to

show his eligible traits? 'Go a-courting,' said old Dr Franklin, in his

homely language, 'in your everyday clothes.' Not one man out of a

thousand is honest enough to take his advice.

It is useless for her to ask aid of another. She must judge for herself.

What, then, is she to do?

There is a mysterious instinct in a pure-minded woman which is beyond

all analysis,--a tact which men do not possess, and do not readily

believe in. At such a crisis this instinct saves her. She feels in a

moment the presence of a base, unworthy nature. An unconscious repulsion

is manifest in her eye, her voice. Where a suitor is not a man of low

motive, but merely quite incongruous in temper and disposition, this

same instinct acts, and the man, without being able to say just why,

feels that he is laboring in vain. If he blindly insists in his wooing,

he has no one to chide but himself when he is finally discarded.

But if the man is worthy, and suitable, does this blessed instinct

whisper the happy news with like promptness to the maiden's soul? Ah!

that raises another issue. It brings us face to face with that difficult

question of

LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT.

Jung Stilling, a German author of note, a religious enthusiast, and full

of queer fancies, was, when young, a tutor in a private family. On one

occasion his employer took him to a strange house, and introduced him

to a roomful of company. Stilling had not contemplated marriage; but, in

the company, he saw, for the first time, a young woman who he felt was

his destined wife. Walking across the room, he addressed her with the

utmost simplicity, telling her that an inward monitor advised him that

she, of all womankind, was his predestined helpmeet. She blushed, was

confused, but presently confessed that she had experienced the same

conviction on first beholding him. They married, and the most curious

part of the tale remains to tell,--it is, that they proved a happy,

well-matched couple.

We do not advise others to follow their example. Not many souls are

capable of such reciprocity. Choosing an associate for life is too

serious a business to be made the affair of a moment. Reason,

reflection, thought, prayer,--these are aids in such a momentous

question not to be lightly thrown aside. Many a passing fancy, many an

evanescent preference, catches for a moment the new-fledged affections.

But for the long and tedious journey of life we want a love rooted in

knowledge.

We are not blind to the fact, that often from the first interview the

maiden feels an undefined spell thrown around her by him who will become

her husband. She feels differently in his presence; she watches him with

other eyes than she has for the rest of men. She renders no account to

herself of this emotion; she attempts no analysis of it; she does not

acknowledge to herself that it exists. No matter. Sooner or later, if

true to herself, she will learn what it is, and it will be a guide in

that moment, looked forward to with mingled hopes and fears, when she

is asked to decide on the destiny, the temporal and eternal destiny, of

two human lives.

That she may then decide aright, and live free from the regrets of a

false step at this crisis of life, we shall now rehearse what medical

science has to say about

HOW TO CHOOSE A HUSBAND.

'Choose well. Your choice is

Brief, and yet endless.'

Woman holds as an inalienable right, in this country, the privilege of

choice. It is not left to notaries, or parents, to select for her, as is

the custom in some other parts of the world.

First comes the question of relationship. A school-girl is apt to see

more of her cousins than of other young men. Often some of them seek at

an early hour to institute a far closer tie than that of blood. Is she

wise to accept it?

SHALL COUSINS MARRY?

Hardly any point has been more warmly debated by medical men. It has

been said that in such marriages the woman is more apt to be sterile;

that if she have children, they are peculiarly liable to be born with

some defect of body or mind,--deafness, blindness, idiocy, or lameness;

that they die early; and that they are subject, beyond others, to fatal

hereditary diseases, as cancer, consumption, scrofula, etc.

An ardent physician persuaded himself so thoroughly of these evils

resulting from marriage of relatives, that he induced the Legislature

of Kentucky to pass a law prohibiting it within certain degrees of

consanguinity. Many a married couple have been rendered miserable by the

information that they had unwittingly violated one of nature's most

positive laws. Though their children may be numerous and blooming, they

live in constant dread of some terrible outbreak of disease. Many a

young and loving couple have sadly severed an engagement, which would

have been a prelude to a happy marriage, when they were informed of

these disastrous results.

For all such we have a word of consolation. We speak it authoritatively,

and not without a full knowledge of the responsibility we assume.

The risk of marrying a cousin, even a first cousin, is greatly

diminished, provided there is no decided hereditary taint in the family.

And when such hereditary taint does exist, the danger is little more

than in marrying into any other family where it is also found. Indeed, a

certain German author has urged the propriety of such unions, where the

family has traits of mental or physical excellence, as a means of

preserving and developing them!

So far as sterility is concerned, an examination of records shows, that

whereas in the average of unions one women in _eight_ is barren, in

those between relatives but one in _ten_ is so. And as for the early

deaths of children, while, on an average, fifteen children in a hundred

die under seven years, in the families of nearly-related parents but

twelve in a hundred is the mortality as shown by French statistics.

The investigations about idiotic and defective children are by no means

satisfactory, and are considered by some of the most careful writers as

not at all proving a greater tendency to such misfortunes in the

offspring of cousins. Among a thousand idiotic children recently

examined in Paris, not one was descended from a healthy consanguinity.

But as few families are wholly without some lurking predisposition to

disease, it is not well, as a rule, to run the risk of developing this

by too repeated unions. Stock-breeders find that the best specimens of

the lower animals are produced by crossing nearly-related individuals a

certain number of times; but that, carried beyond this, such unions lead

to degeneracy and sterility. Such, also, has been the experience of many

human families.

How slight a cause even of that most insidious disease, consumption,

such marriages are, may be judged from the fact, that of a thousand

cases inquired into by Dr. Edward Smith, in only six was there

consanguinity of parents.

THE MIXTURE OF RACES.

Mankind, say the school geographies, is divided into five races, each

distinguished by its own color. They are the white, the black, the red,

the yellow, and the brown races. In this country, practically, we have

to do with but the white and black races; and the question is constantly

asked, Shall we approve of marriages between them? Shall a white woman

choose a black man to be her husband?

We are at the more pains to answer this, because recently a writer--and

this writer a woman, and this woman one of the most widely known in our

land--has written a novel intended to advocate the affirmative of this

question. Moreover, it is constantly mooted in certain political

circles, and is one of the social problems of the day.

The very fact that it is so much discussed, shows that such a union runs

counter to a strong prejudice. Such aversions are often voices of

nature, acting as warnings against acts injurious to the species. In

this instance it is not of modern origin, created by peculiar

institutions. Three centuries ago, Shakspeare, who had probably never

seen a score of negroes in his life, with the divination of genius, felt

the repugnance which a refined woman would feel to accepting one as her

husband. The plot of one of his plays turns on it. He makes Iago say of

Desdemona:

'Not to affect many proposed matches

Of her own clime, complexion, and degree;

Whereto, we see, in all things nature tends:

Foh! one may smell in such a will most rank,

Foul disproportions, thoughts unnatural.'

It is, indeed, 'nature erring from itself' which prompts to these

marriages. They are not sterile, but the children are sickly and

short-lived. Very few mulattoes reach an old age.

Then it is well known that the black race cannot survive a northern

climate. Dr. Snow, of Providence, Rhode Island, who has given great

attention to the study of statistics, says emphatically that, in New

England, the colored population inevitably perish in a few generations,

if left to themselves. This debility no woman should wish to give to

her children.

A mental inferiority is likewise apparent. Friends of the negro are

ready to confess this, but attribute it to his long and recent period of

servitude. We deal with facts only. The inferiority is there, whatever

be its cause; and she who would willingly curse her offspring with it,

manifests indeed 'thoughts unnatural.'

The children born of a union of the black and red race, negroes and

Indians, are on the contrary, remarkable for their physical vigor and

mental acuteness; though, of course, the latter is limited to the

demands of a semi-barbarous life.

SHOULD NATIVE WOMEN MARRY FOREIGNERS?

When we narrow the question of race to that of nationality, entirely new

elements come in.

In speaking of the intermarriage of relatives, we showed that a certain

number of such unions in healthy stocks was advantageous rather than

otherwise, but that too many of them lead to deterioration. This law can

be applied to nations. Historians have often observed that the most

powerful states of the world arose from an amalgamation of different

tribes. Rome, Greece, England, are examples of this. On the other hand,

France, Russia, Spain, China, Persia, which have suffered no such

crosses of blood, are either stationary, or depend for their progress on

foreigners.

Physicians have contributed other curious testimony on this point, the

bearing of which they themselves have not understood. Marriages between

nationalities of the same race are more fertile, and the children more

vigorous, than those between descendants of the same nation. For

instance, it has been proved that if two descendants of the Pilgrim

Fathers in Massachusetts marry, they will probably have but three

children; while, if one of them marries a foreigner, the children will

number five or six.

So it is well ascertained that in the old and stationary communes of

France, where the same families have possessed their small farms for

generation after generation, the marriages have become gradually less

and less productive, until it has seriously interfered with the quota

those districts send to the army.

American women have suffered many hard words because they do not have

more children. Several New England writers have accused them of very bad

practices, which we shall mention hereafter. But the effect of the law

of production just now laid down has been quite overlooked.

As it is best that there should be four or five children in a family in

ordinary circumstances, the union of American and foreign blood is very

desirable. We need to fuse in one the diverse colonies of the white race

annually reaching our shores. A century should efface every trace of the

German, the Irish, the Frenchman, the English, the Norwegian, and leave

nothing but the American. To bring about this happy result, free

intermarriage should be furthered in every possible way.

THE AGE OF THE HUSBAND.

The epoch of puberty comes to a boy at about the same age as it does to

a girl,--fourteen or fifteen years. And an even greater period passes

between this epoch and the age it is proper for a man to marry,--his age

of nubility.

Not only has he a more complete education to obtain, not only a

profession or trade to learn, and some property to accumulate, some

position to acquire, ere he is ready to take a wife, but his physical

powers ripen more slowly than those of woman. He is more tardy in

completing his growth, and early indulgence more readily saps his

constitution.

We have placed the best age for woman to marry between twenty and

twenty-five years; for similar reasons, man is best qualified to become

a husband between twenty-three and thirty-three years.

Previous to the twenty-third year, many a man is incapable of producing

healthy children. If he does not destroy his health by premature

indulgence, he may destroy his happiness by witnessing his children a

prey to debility and deformity. An old German proverb says, 'Give a boy

a wife, and a child a bird, and death will soon knock at the door.' Even

an author so old as Aristotle warns young men against early marriage,

under penalty of disease and puny offspring.

From the age of thirty-three to fifty years, men who carefully observe

the laws of health do not feel any weight of years. Nevertheless, they

are past their prime. Then, also, with advancing years, the chances of

life diminish, and the probability increases that they will leave a

young family with no natural protector. The half-century once turned,

their vigor rapidly diminishes. The marriages they then contract are

either sterile, or yield but few and sickly children. Many an old man

has shortened his life by late nuptials; and the records of medicine

contain accounts of several who perished on the very night of marriage.

The relative age of man and wife is next to be considered. Nature fits

woman earlier for marriage, and hints thereby that she should, as a

rule, be younger than her husband. So, too, the bard of nature speaks:

'Let still the woman take

An elder than herself; so wears she to him,

So sways she level in her husband's heart.'

The woman who risks her happiness with a man many years younger than

herself, violates a precept of life; and when her husband grows

indifferent, or taunts her with her years, or seeks companions of more

suitable age, she is reaping a harvest sown by her own hand.

So commonly do such matches turn out badly, that in 1828 the kingdom of

Würtemberg prohibited unions where the woman was more than twelve years

the senior, except by special dispensation.

After forty-five years, most women cannot hope for children. A marriage

subsequent to this period can at best be regarded as a close friendship.

Marriage in its full meaning has no longer an existence.

The relative age of man and wife has another influence, and quite a

curious one. It influences the sex of the children. But this point we

reserve for discussion on a later page.

The folly of joining a young girl to an old man is happily not so common

in America as in Europe. It would be hard to devise any step more

certain to bring the laws of nature and morality into conflict.

'What can a young lassie do wi' an auld man?'

What advice can we give to a woman who barters her youthful charms for

the fortune of an aged husband? Shall we be cynical enough to agree with

'auld Auntie Katie?'

'My auld Auntie Katie upon me takes pity;

I'll do my endeavor to follow her plan:

I'll cross him, and rack him, until I heart-break him,

And then his auld brass will buy me a new pan.'

No! She has willingly accepted a responsibility. It is her duty to bear

it loyally, faithfully, uncomplainingly to the end.

Let us sum up with the maxim, that the husband should be the senior, but

that the difference of age should not be more than ten years.

WHAT SHOULD BE HIS TEMPERAMENT?

It is often hard to make out what doctors mean by _temperaments_. It is

supposed that our mental and physical characters depend somehow on the

predominance of some organ or system which controls the rest. Thus a

person who is nervous, quick, sensitive to impressions, is said to have

a _nervous_ temperament; one who is stout, full-blooded, red-faced, has

a _sanguine_ temperament; a thin, dark-featured, reticent person, is of

a _bilious_ temperament; while a pale, fat, sluggish nature, is called

_phlegmatic_, or _lymphatic._

In a general way these distinctions are valuable, but they will not bear

very exact applications. They reveal in outline the constitution of mind

and body; and what is to our present purpose, they are of more than

usual importance in the question of selecting a husband.

Nature, hating incongruity, yet loves variety. She preserves the limits

of species, but within those limits she seeks fidelity to one type.

Therefore it is that in marriage a person inclines strongly to one of a

different temperament--to a person quite unlike himself.

So true is this, that a Frenchman of genius, Bernardin de St. Pierre,

vouches for this anecdote of himself. He was in a strange city, visiting

a friend whom he had not seen for years. The friend's sister was of that

age when women are most susceptible. She was tall, a blonde, deliberate

in motion, with blue eyes and fair hair. In a jesting way, St. Pierre,

who had never seen her before, and knew nothing of her personal life,

said,--

'Mademoiselle, you have many admirers. Shall I describe him on whom you

look with most favor?'

The lady challenged him to do so.

'He is short in stature, of dark complexion, dark hair and eyes, slight

in figure, active and nervous in all his movements.'

The lady blushed to her eyes, and cast a glance of anger at her brother,

who, she thought, had betrayed her secret. But no! St. Pierre's only

informant was his deep knowledge of the human heart.

This instinct is founded upon the truth that the perfect temperament is

that happily balanced one which holds all the organs in equilibrium,--in

which no one rules, where all are developed in proportion. Nature ever

strives to realize this ideal. She instills in the nervous temperament a

preference for the lymphatic; in the sanguine, a liking for the bilious

constitution. The offspring should combine the excellencies of both, the

defects of neither. We do well to heed her admonitions here, and to bear

in mind that those matches which combine opposite temperaments, are, as

a rule, the most fortunate.

THE MORAL AND MENTAL CHARACTER.

Very few words are necessary here. We have already said we speak as

physicians, not as moralists. But there are some false and dangerous

ideas abroad, which it is our duty as physicians to combat.

None is more false, none more dangerous, than that embodied in the

proverb, 'A reformed rake makes the best husband.' What is a rake? A man

who has deceived and destroyed trusting virtue,--a man who has entered

the service of the devil to undermine and poison that happiness in

marriage, which all religion and science are at such pains to cultivate.

We know him well in our capacity as physicians. He comes to us

constantly the prey to loathsome diseases, the results of his vicious

life; which diseases he will communicate to his wife, for they are

contagious, and to his children, for they are hereditary; and which no

reform can purge from his system, for they are ineradicable.

Is this the man a pure woman should take to her arms? Here repentance

avails nothing. We have witnessed the agony unspeakable which

overwhelmed a father when he saw his children suffering under horrible

and disgusting diseases, the penalty of his early sins.

Very few men of profligate lives escape these diseases. They are

alarmingly prevalent among the 'fast' youths of our cities. And some

forms of them are incurable by any effort of skill. Even the approach of

such men should be shunned,--their company avoided.

A physician in central Pennsylvania lately had this experience: A young

lady of unblemished character asked his advice for a troublesome

affection of the skin. He examined it, and to his horror recognised a

form of one of the loathsome diseases which curse only the vilest or the

most unfortunate of her sex. Yet he could not suspect this girl. On

inquiry, he found that she had a small but painful sore on her lip,

which she first noticed a few days after being at a picnic with a young

man. Just as he was bidding her good-night, he had kissed her on the

lips.

At once everything was clear. This young man was a patient of the

physician. He was a victim to this vile disease, and even his kiss was

enough to convey it.

The history of the sixteenth century contains the account of an Italian

duke, who on one occasion was forced by his ruler to reconcile himself

with an enemy. Knowing he could not escape obedience, he protested the

most cheerful willingness, and in the presence of the king embraced his

enemy, and even kissed him on the lips. It was but another means of

satisfying his hatred. For he well knew that his kiss would taint his

enemy's blood with the same poison that was undermining his own life.

How cautious, therefore, should a woman be in granting the most innocent

liberties! How solicitous should she be to associate with the purest

men!

Would that we could say that these dangerous and loathsome diseases are

rare! But, alas! daily professional experience forbids us to offer this

consolation. Every physician in our large cities, and even in smaller

towns, knows that they are fearfully prevalent.

We have been consulted by wives, pure, innocent women, for complaints

which they themselves, and sometimes their children, suffered from, the

nature of which we dared not tell them, but which pointed with fatal

finger to the unfaithfulness of the husband. How utterly was their

domestic happiness wrecked when they discovered the cause of their

constant ill-health!

Nor are such occurrences confined to the humbler walks of life. There,

perhaps, less than in any other do they occur. It is in the wealthy, the

luxurious, the self-indulgent class that they are found.

Are we asked how such a dreadful fate can be averted?

There are, indeed, certain signs and marks which such diseases leave

with which physicians are conversant. As if nature intended them as

warnings, they are imprinted on the most visible and public parts of the

body. The skin, the hair, the nose, the voice, the lines on the face,

often divulge to the trained observer, more indubitably than the

confessional, a lewd and sensual life.

Such signs, however, can only be properly estimated by the medical

counselor, and it would be useless to rehearse them here. Those women

who would have a sure guide in choosing a man to be their husband, have

they not Moses and the prophets? What is more, have they not Christ and

the apostles? Rest assured that the man who scoffs at Christianity, who

neglects its precepts and violates its laws, runs a terrible risk of

bringing upon himself, his wife, and his children, the vengeance of

nature, which knows justice but not mercy. Rest assured that the man who

respects the maxims of that religion, and abstains from all uncleanness,

is the only man who is worthy the full and confiding love of an

honorable woman.

THE SYMBOLISM OF THE HUMAN BODY.

Philosophers say that every idle word which is spoken continues to

vibrate in the air through all infinity. So it is with the passions and

the thoughts. Each impresses on the body some indelible mark, and a long

continuance of similar thoughts leaves a visible imprint.

Under the names of phrenology, physiognomy, palmistry, and others,

attempts have been made at divers times to lay down fixed principles by

which we could judge of men by their outsides; but only vague results

have been obtained. A learned German author, of high repute in exact

science, has gone a different way to work. He has studied the body as a

whole, and sought with the eye of an anatomist how different avocations,

passions, temperaments, habits, mould and fashion the external parts of

man. His results are embraced in a curious volume which he entitles _The

Symbolism of the Human Body_. We shall borrow some hints from it,

germane to our present theme.

As to size, large-bodied and large-boned men possess greater energy, a

more masculine character, but often less persistence, and are usually

devoid of the more delicate emotions. Fat people are good-tempered, but

indolent; thin people, full of life, but irascible.

The neck is a significant part of the body. View it from in front, and

it discloses the physical constitution. There are the conduits of the

food and the air; there, the great blood-vessels pass to the head, and

its base is modified by their form as they pass from the heart. When

broad and full, it denotes a vigorous physical life,--a plethoric

constitution. A distinguished teacher of midwifery, Professor Pajot of

Paris, says that when he sees one of those necks full in front, like

that of Marie Antoinette, as shown in her portraits, he prepares himself

to combat childbed convulsions. That queen, it is well-known, nearly

perished with them.

The back of the neck contains the vertebral column, and is close to the

brain. It reveals the mental constitution. The short round neck of the

prize-fighter betrays his craft. The slender, arched, and graceful neck

of the well-proportioned woman is the symbol of health and a

well-controlled mind. Burke, in his _Essay on the Beautiful_, calls it

the most beauteous object in nature. It is a common observation, that a

sensual character is shown by the thick and coarse development of this

portion of the body.

The hair, also, has a significance. Fine whitish hair, like that of a

child, goes with a simple, child-like disposition; black hair denotes a

certain hardness of character; red hair has long been supposed to be

associated with a sensual constitution, but it rather indicates a

physical weakness,--a tendency to scrofula. This is, however, a tendency

merely. Thin hair is often the result of protracted mental labor, though

many other causes produce it.

Every great man, says Herder, has a glance which no one can imitate. We

may go farther, and say that every man of decided character reveals it

in his eyes. They are the most difficult organs for the hypocrite to

control. Beware of the man who cannot look you in the eyes, and of him

in whose eyes there lurks an expression which allures yet makes you

shudder. The one has something he dares not tell you, the other

something you dare not listen to.

Symmetry, strength, grace, health,--these are admirable qualities in a

man. From the remotest ages they have been the marks of heroes.

Secondary though they are to moral and mental qualities, they should be

ever highly valued. A _manly_ man! Nature designs such to be the sires

of future generations. No danger that we shall fall to worshiping

physical beauty again. The only fear is that in this lank, puny, scrawny

generation of ours, we shall, out of vanity, underrate such beauty. Let

it be ever remembered that this is the ideal, from which any departure

is deterioration.

THE ENGAGEMENT.

When our grandmothers were engaged, the minister rose in his pulpit on

Sunday morning, before the assembled congregation, and proclaimed the

'banns,' stating that if any one knew just cause or lawful impediment

why the lovers should not be married, he should state it there and then.

Sometimes a great hubbub was created when some discarded suitor rose,

forbidding the banns, and claimed that the capricious maiden had

previously promised herself to him. Perhaps it was to avoid such an

uncomfortable check on the freedom of flirtation that the ancient custom

was dropped.

Certain it is, that to be 'engaged' sits very lightly on the minds of

both young men and maidens now-a-days. We know some of either sex who

make it a boast how often they have made and unmade this slender tie. It

is a dangerous pastime. 'The hand of little use hath the daintier

touch,' and they who thus trifle with their affections will end by

losing the capacity to feel any real affection at all.

Undoubtedly there occur instances where a woman has pledged herself in

all seriousness, and afterwards sees her affianced in a light which

warns her that she cannot be happy with him,--that the vows she will be

called upon to pronounce at the altar will be hollow and false. What is

she to do?

We are not inditing the decrees of the Court of Love. Here is the advice

of another to her hand:

'First to thine own self be true,

And then it follows, as the night the day,

That thou canst ne'er be false to any man.'

CONCERNING LONG ENGAGEMENTS.

They are hurtful, and they are unnecessary. Is love so vagrant that it

must be tied by such a chain? Better let it go. True love asks no oath;

it casteth out fear, and believes without a promise.

There are other reasons, sound physiological reasons, which we could

adduce, if need were, to show that the close personal relations which

arise between persons who are engaged should not be continued too long a

time. They lead to excitement and debility, sometimes to danger and

disease. Especially is this true of nervous, excitable, sympathetic

dispositions.

If we are asked to be definite, and give figures, we should say that a

period not longer than a year, nor shorter than three months, should

intervene between the engagement and the marriage.

THE RIGHT TIME OF YEAR TO MARRY.

Woman, when she marries, enters upon a new life, and a trying one. Every

advantage should be in her favour. The season is one of those

advantages. Extreme heat and extreme cold both wear severely on the

human frame. Mid-winter and mid-summer are, therefore, alike

objectionable, especially the latter.

Spring and fall are usually chosen, as statistics show, and the

preference is just. On the whole, the spring is rather to be recommended

than the autumn. In case of a birth within the year, the child will have

attained sufficient age to weather its period of teething more easily

ere the next summer.

THE RIGHT TIME IN THE MONTH TO MARRY.

We mean the woman's own month, that which spans the time between her

periodical sicknesses, be it two or five weeks. Let her choose a day

about equidistant from two periods. The reasons for this we shall

specify hereafter.

THE WEDDING TOUR.